It was a harsh reminder that I struggle with a need to be perfect. I don't know where it came from. My mother is laid back as can be. Not me though. Ever since I was a child I have been overachieving in dance, school, and even 4H grooming rabbits for show. Chris is not any bit better. He is OCD, or as my sister teases: CDO because the letters should be in order. My poor husband can't sleep if there are dishes in the sink. It disturbs him.
Also they are already they are showing signs. Rachel loves to make everything beautiful and gets so upset if she can't wear something on a particular day. She works on her dancing routines everyday. Harmon loves learning and organizing. When I told him we might move to Albuquerque or Phoenix he got upset and told me he needs to find a new school if we leave because "I need to learn and grow and be a smart boy". Both really insist on being the first to do a new assignment or project at school and won't stop until they have mastered the skill like skipping or numbers.
Callum is already the worse though. He has his father's OCD organizing each toy in his bed and if one is out of order in the dead of night he will start screaming. I'll open the door and throws the offending wrong toy out my door and fall asleep. He hates any sort of mess and really loves to please us in everything. I worry about him, he needs more relaxation time. But really all three are always striving to be the best in school, sports, or whatever. I almost hate putting them in sports and school because I want them at this age to just relax and enjoy life.
Hard work is an important trait to teach my kids! I want them not to rest ever on their laurels. At the same time I am realizing I need to teach my kids how to just rest sometimes. Life should be fun at times. I often feel like Clark Griswald on National Lampoon's Summer Vacation: "Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fricking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our damn smiles!"
The ironic part is I will never be perfect. I am horridly dyslexic and I have a limp when I walk. I talk like Minnie Mouse and my frizzy hair always is out of place. When I think about these imperfections I wonder if it is God's way that he reminds me that he is in charge, I will never be perfect in this life, and that it is okay. So for one of my two biggest resolutions in my new year I am going to resolve this year to try not too fret about being perfect. To sit back and have real fun and encourage my children to be likewise.
Of course I take the GMAT this month so maybe I should wait on that resolution ;) I'm starting classes next week, new projects, March of Dimes, and building a new house... yup, I'm doomed at least till May! I really need to sit on a beach this Summer. Maybe than I will have a shot of on being "hakuna matata"!