Thursday, March 29, 2012

Thank you everybody for their well wishes. I keep reading them on Facebook. Here is a newspaper article that describes what happened http://www.lcsun-news.com/ci_20258587/las-cruces-woman-hurt-i-10-accident?source=most_viewed because I don't really remember anything. It has all been very surreal and as I'm starting to piece everything back together very intimidating. The ironic thing is that I finally getting over everything else and that Monday I was excited to be getting back to normal.

The good news is that I'm very goal oriented. After I got released from ICU yesterday they left my healing up to me. I'm weaning myself off the pain meds, learning to walk again,etc. once I meet these goals I get released! That is empowering. Last time I had this surgery and that procedure but now I'm in the drivers seat! I'm hoping to get home real soon. Also Chris has really been with me through the worst like he has never been.

The hard part is the learning what I have to do again. I've been through hell and I look like it :p Getting home is the first step but it will probably be three months of rehab after. The idea is home health for a few weeks and than out patient rehab. My whole right side was crushed. I have broken broken bones in my shoulder and hand. Not being self-sufficient has been tough for me. I can't dwell on that! I just need to get better so I can be independent again. I've got 3 great kids to get better for and I'm lucky it wasn't worse. Still this all just sucks. I want to get back to living and not just healing.

Thanks again for all the support.

Francisca

Looking better!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The whole pathetic story!

Please let me preface the post by I hate whining. I used to be "that person" who people would just roll their eyes with when they saw me coming b/c it was always "woe is me". I've had plenty reasons in life to whine, especially than, but it wasn't solving anything. Lately, though that has taken me to the opposite extreme. I've pretended each day just gritting my teeth and keeping things to myself. I smile and try to be optimistic but it comes to a point where I need to be realistic too. You have to be in life a little of both. So this is my story of everything going on. After all to quote one of my favorite songs by Ryan Shupe, "I'm not a superhero". So this is the whole story I've been experiencing. It is my hope a couple years from now and read it knowing that everything is long behind me.


It started December 3rd. I was in a car accident. It was no fault of my own, DUI, nevertheless if I could go back in time I wish I could have done something to prevent it. It caused the 3 vertebra in the neck and 3 in the lower back to bulge and swell. I've been doing active physical therapy and massage 5x a week though determined to fix that. The problem is I can't fix my C-4 disc. That was burst and is now pinching my nerve and throwing my neck off. They say it is a condition called "Ridiculopathy". I've had a few opinions and supposedly it needs surgery.


I am not sure though at this point b/c I've trusted doctors before that surgery was the answer and it didn't fix the problem sometimes. In the mean time they have been doing pain shots through out my spine. I call it bee stings b/c that is what it feels like to have needles in my neck to my tail bone. That helps and so do the patches on my neck but the condition is causing really severe pain and it is making it hard to use my left arm. so I will be getting an epidural in my neck soon. II'm very excited about that. It should last 4 months to 6 months and give me time to decide my next move and get more information.


In the mean time I had a laproscopy that was pretty minor in January. The doctor later told me he was surprised there was not more going on than some odd adhesions from my c-sections. When I thought the coast was clear 3 days later I ended up back in the hospital violently vomiting (and other). We found out I had been living with amoebic dysentary. What can I say... guess that darn dolphin got me this Summer b/c it was caused by the trip to Mexico. They were treating it with Flagel but after the treatment ended I didn't feel much better.


Than on top of things I didn't get my flu shot this year. It was my fault. I was so teased by those closest to me that it was an evil conspiracy that didn't work so I figured I would pocket the 20 dollars. Of course, Chris gave me the flu last month and than I got a sinus infection.


So all of this led to the events of last week and this week. Two Sunday's ago I started vomiting (etc) pretty badly. I ignored it being stubborn and really sick of medical care. That led me to the emergency room AGAIN on March 13. They released me with the orders to get follow up with a colonoscopy and endoscopy as soon as my gastroenterologist came back in 3 wks from Brazil. I didn't get better though and by Friday I needed to be admitted for more serious emergency care.


I went to the hospital that day and by midnight we discovered I had several kidney stones in each kidney (probably from the days of dehydration). Sunday they repaired a hiatal hernia in my esophagus and Monday they removed 3 masses from my colon. That caused severe bleeding (oops) in a place you don't want tons blood coming from so they kept me for another day.



Where I am at now is sort of still in limbo. I'm waiting for the biopsy of the masses in my colon and I'm waiting for the effects of that procedure to stop. Eating is hard, but I'm taking each meal very slowly. I imagine the other surgery is healing still. I'm in a lot of pain and all of this isn't helping my neck. I'm seeing my rhuematologist by emergency appointment on Monday b/c the theory is that it is all the medications I'm on that is causing this. It is compromising my immune system and ruining my digestive track. We are also waiting to see if the amoebic dysentary was still in my system (which would make sense) or if some of the problems were caused by too strong of antibiotics when I got the flu. I have these "track marks" from all the surgeries and blood draws and IV's. My hair is a frizzy mess and I don't that great about myself while normally I have a good healthy self-image. I guess the only good news is that if I continue to lose weight I can be on America's Next Top Model (that is a joke).


So there are more questions in my mind than answers. I would lie if I said I was not frustrated or scared. I barely turned 30 two months ago and the decisions I'm facing are things normally you deal with when you are much much older. The support in my family here hasn't been too awesome but I've had so many friends rally around me. Most importantly though I have my kids. They are awesome and inspire me to get through this. Finally, I've been writing, every second I have. I doubt my stuff is that great but it is a joy to create art and I feel I am just really discovering new talents.

I also have life experience where I've seen miracles and overcome things doctors said I never would. It is that which inspires me to get better and not give in. I'm hoping to get in eventually to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale (I did this many years ago and they are pimp daddies). In the mean time we are doing intergrative care b/c no human should be on as much medicine as I am.


So that is the deal for now. It sucks, but I'm hoping the worse is over. If it is or isn't though I will get through things as I always have. I have the 3 best reasons in the world and the faith to help. I just hope the worse is over. This is not a point in my life that I ever want to revisit again. This weekend is Chris' birthday and we are "staging" St. Patrick's day for the kids. They are so excited about Leprechauns. These are the things worth fighting for in life.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The difference between Wee Wees and Pee Pees and other funnies!

Things have been hard. I've been in the hospital recently a couple of times and Chris had the great idea of doing three houses for the showcase with no time to actually build three showcase homes. It has been a lot about basically survival. I promise I will share the details when I am feeling better but tonight I don't want to think about it. Instead I want to share about my babies. The kids have done some really funny things and I wanted to share them. Looking at the joy beats whining about the tough stuff.




Rachel just fully potty trained this month. She decided on her own and it was great. The hard part is that everyone is obsessed with gender. It started when Cally asked me about why he didn't have earrings. I explained boys had pee pees and girls had earrings. He was cool with that b/c like a lot a lot of guys he loves his pee pee. Problem is when Rach and I would hang out potty training he would point to her and explain how she didn't have a pee pee. So that started her with an obsession on male and female plumbing. She had to start asking everyone do you have a "wee wee" or a "pee pee". I mean everyone: Miriam, her teachers at church, her male social worker, etc. The best part is that when people respond shyly she drops her pants and explains boys have pee pees and I have a wee wee. Hopefully she drops this habit before middle school!



Harmon is ever the cool little man he had always been. He amazes me his amount of empathy. Especially considering many people think kids on the spectrum are not cuddly. Such a myth!!! He always wants to hug, kiss, and show me extra love when need it the most. Anyhow, we do have a problem teaching him that pets and siblings are not toys. He can be rough but he is never mean! He loves to piggy back Cally (which is an issue size wise) and tosses Rachel into the air when they practice swing dancing. The biggest problem is Henry the kitten. He thinks that is his stuffed animal. That cat's patience is amazing!!! He never minds it. Tonight Harmon put Henry in his back pack and wanted to take him to SAMs Club. That was a problem. Henry was a great sport and Harm made a promise to not put living creatures in his back pack ;).



Cally is Cally. He is just one easy going cool dude. Rachel and Harmon are very intense Cally is all about chilling. His love is music and he loves these toys called thing-a-mi-jigs that sing. He sings with them. When he is not singing though he loves to talk, to everything and anyone. His toys, people at stores, himself, the wall, etc. the issue is he won't make certain sounds though including F's, Z's, R's, Th's, and S's. It gives him the best weirdest cutest dialect ever. He talks with such enthusiasm but if you don't speak Cally, you might be very confused. For example when you ask him to buzz like a bee he goes "nerrrhhhh..." with a big deep throaty sound. I'm so happy I understand him because he says the funniest things. For example I asked him tonight if he was going to build houses like daddy. He replied, "I will build nicer houses than daddy! I will build castles like the beast! He than said "Beast and I look the same we wear ponytails!!!!". He than once more proceeded to roar: AARGH! as humanly loud as possible and than said happily "goodbye" and ran off. It was awesome!



This has been one of the hardest times in my life but it is my kids and husband that keep my spirits up! Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done but it is my greatest treasure. My kids are wonderful! They brighten me everyday. It has been hard being away in the hospital these last few times and when I'm sick and just have to lay down in the room at night by myself. I miss perhaps more than they miss me :p. I told the neurologist yesterday that we have to fix this pain. I can't live my life in half and I don't want to miss my time with these guys!



One last note. Thank you to all my dear friends who have been helping us. I can on Facebook we could use a home cooked meal and there is more friends volunteering than there were nights this week. I could not keep everything together without such support! Miriam has been in the trenches just showing these kids nonstop love when I just can't be there. Chris sits and edits my work for grammar and is just filling in blanks lately. This week he made a renewed effort in our home and in our marriage. It has been so hard but we have laughed more these last few days than we have in years. Family, friends, and my internet pals really have been supportive. The challenges are big but I'm not alone and I'm so grateful for that.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Friday, March 2, 2012

The kids are going to College next year!!

Lately I've been so busy working, doing my rehab, and everything else, that I needed Chris to take over some of the serious parenting things going on. After all we say we are co-parents so it was time we acted like that. With two Special Needs children there are always decisions to be made and issues to be solved. I've handled most of this on my own but it was time for Chris to take over half of this.


So two of his first official acts as leader were attending Harm's IEP meetings (which he did great with) two weeks ago on his own. He also decided, with help from educators at the IEP, on a very strict Prep Pre-k instead of doing the Fine Arts route I had wanted. I think I'm okay with it b/c the school is well-equipped to handle special needs kids and they want to take all three children all day (which will be convenient for me).

Still I find the idea of "college prep" for 3-5 year olds hilarious! Seriously? The place is even called College Heights! Chris was so excited that he camped out at 7 am on enrollment morning to get the kids accepted last Saturday. He was the 3rd in line (no way was I going out in the cold). The school's official goal is college preparation. I guess now if the kids can only get into Harvard, but not Yale at least we will have someone to blame.


I No Talkz Good Theze Dazes!

This week we have had several good things happen that I have wanted to share on my blog with everyone (Cally made the paper, Rachel taught me the difference between a pee pee and a wee wee, etc). Honestly, though I've just been really really tired so I've not been sharing much this week or been doing other internet activities.

Part of it also is that I realize I'm not writing very well these days either. I've always been a little scattered in my writing with dyslexia but now being so tired from everything, it seems like cohesive sentences are quite the challenge. While I don't mind writing like "I Can Haz Cheesburger", I can't imagine anyone enjoy reading the mess. So this weekend hopefully I will catch up on blogging without offending anyone who appreciates the art of grammar!


Until than happy Friday! Tomorrow is Caturday :) While I still will be working it will be nice having my hubby and critters around and be hanging out in my sweats this weekend!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Thank you everybody for their well wishes. I keep reading them on Facebook. Here is a newspaper article that describes what happened http://www.lcsun-news.com/ci_20258587/las-cruces-woman-hurt-i-10-accident?source=most_viewed because I don't really remember anything. It has all been very surreal and as I'm starting to piece everything back together very intimidating. The ironic thing is that I finally getting over everything else and that Monday I was excited to be getting back to normal.

The good news is that I'm very goal oriented. After I got released from ICU yesterday they left my healing up to me. I'm weaning myself off the pain meds, learning to walk again,etc. once I meet these goals I get released! That is empowering. Last time I had this surgery and that procedure but now I'm in the drivers seat! I'm hoping to get home real soon. Also Chris has really been with me through the worst like he has never been.

The hard part is the learning what I have to do again. I've been through hell and I look like it :p Getting home is the first step but it will probably be three months of rehab after. The idea is home health for a few weeks and than out patient rehab. My whole right side was crushed. I have broken broken bones in my shoulder and hand. Not being self-sufficient has been tough for me. I can't dwell on that! I just need to get better so I can be independent again. I've got 3 great kids to get better for and I'm lucky it wasn't worse. Still this all just sucks. I want to get back to living and not just healing.

Thanks again for all the support.

Francisca

Looking better!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The whole pathetic story!

Please let me preface the post by I hate whining. I used to be "that person" who people would just roll their eyes with when they saw me coming b/c it was always "woe is me". I've had plenty reasons in life to whine, especially than, but it wasn't solving anything. Lately, though that has taken me to the opposite extreme. I've pretended each day just gritting my teeth and keeping things to myself. I smile and try to be optimistic but it comes to a point where I need to be realistic too. You have to be in life a little of both. So this is my story of everything going on. After all to quote one of my favorite songs by Ryan Shupe, "I'm not a superhero". So this is the whole story I've been experiencing. It is my hope a couple years from now and read it knowing that everything is long behind me.


It started December 3rd. I was in a car accident. It was no fault of my own, DUI, nevertheless if I could go back in time I wish I could have done something to prevent it. It caused the 3 vertebra in the neck and 3 in the lower back to bulge and swell. I've been doing active physical therapy and massage 5x a week though determined to fix that. The problem is I can't fix my C-4 disc. That was burst and is now pinching my nerve and throwing my neck off. They say it is a condition called "Ridiculopathy". I've had a few opinions and supposedly it needs surgery.


I am not sure though at this point b/c I've trusted doctors before that surgery was the answer and it didn't fix the problem sometimes. In the mean time they have been doing pain shots through out my spine. I call it bee stings b/c that is what it feels like to have needles in my neck to my tail bone. That helps and so do the patches on my neck but the condition is causing really severe pain and it is making it hard to use my left arm. so I will be getting an epidural in my neck soon. II'm very excited about that. It should last 4 months to 6 months and give me time to decide my next move and get more information.


In the mean time I had a laproscopy that was pretty minor in January. The doctor later told me he was surprised there was not more going on than some odd adhesions from my c-sections. When I thought the coast was clear 3 days later I ended up back in the hospital violently vomiting (and other). We found out I had been living with amoebic dysentary. What can I say... guess that darn dolphin got me this Summer b/c it was caused by the trip to Mexico. They were treating it with Flagel but after the treatment ended I didn't feel much better.


Than on top of things I didn't get my flu shot this year. It was my fault. I was so teased by those closest to me that it was an evil conspiracy that didn't work so I figured I would pocket the 20 dollars. Of course, Chris gave me the flu last month and than I got a sinus infection.


So all of this led to the events of last week and this week. Two Sunday's ago I started vomiting (etc) pretty badly. I ignored it being stubborn and really sick of medical care. That led me to the emergency room AGAIN on March 13. They released me with the orders to get follow up with a colonoscopy and endoscopy as soon as my gastroenterologist came back in 3 wks from Brazil. I didn't get better though and by Friday I needed to be admitted for more serious emergency care.


I went to the hospital that day and by midnight we discovered I had several kidney stones in each kidney (probably from the days of dehydration). Sunday they repaired a hiatal hernia in my esophagus and Monday they removed 3 masses from my colon. That caused severe bleeding (oops) in a place you don't want tons blood coming from so they kept me for another day.



Where I am at now is sort of still in limbo. I'm waiting for the biopsy of the masses in my colon and I'm waiting for the effects of that procedure to stop. Eating is hard, but I'm taking each meal very slowly. I imagine the other surgery is healing still. I'm in a lot of pain and all of this isn't helping my neck. I'm seeing my rhuematologist by emergency appointment on Monday b/c the theory is that it is all the medications I'm on that is causing this. It is compromising my immune system and ruining my digestive track. We are also waiting to see if the amoebic dysentary was still in my system (which would make sense) or if some of the problems were caused by too strong of antibiotics when I got the flu. I have these "track marks" from all the surgeries and blood draws and IV's. My hair is a frizzy mess and I don't that great about myself while normally I have a good healthy self-image. I guess the only good news is that if I continue to lose weight I can be on America's Next Top Model (that is a joke).


So there are more questions in my mind than answers. I would lie if I said I was not frustrated or scared. I barely turned 30 two months ago and the decisions I'm facing are things normally you deal with when you are much much older. The support in my family here hasn't been too awesome but I've had so many friends rally around me. Most importantly though I have my kids. They are awesome and inspire me to get through this. Finally, I've been writing, every second I have. I doubt my stuff is that great but it is a joy to create art and I feel I am just really discovering new talents.

I also have life experience where I've seen miracles and overcome things doctors said I never would. It is that which inspires me to get better and not give in. I'm hoping to get in eventually to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale (I did this many years ago and they are pimp daddies). In the mean time we are doing intergrative care b/c no human should be on as much medicine as I am.


So that is the deal for now. It sucks, but I'm hoping the worse is over. If it is or isn't though I will get through things as I always have. I have the 3 best reasons in the world and the faith to help. I just hope the worse is over. This is not a point in my life that I ever want to revisit again. This weekend is Chris' birthday and we are "staging" St. Patrick's day for the kids. They are so excited about Leprechauns. These are the things worth fighting for in life.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The difference between Wee Wees and Pee Pees and other funnies!

Things have been hard. I've been in the hospital recently a couple of times and Chris had the great idea of doing three houses for the showcase with no time to actually build three showcase homes. It has been a lot about basically survival. I promise I will share the details when I am feeling better but tonight I don't want to think about it. Instead I want to share about my babies. The kids have done some really funny things and I wanted to share them. Looking at the joy beats whining about the tough stuff.




Rachel just fully potty trained this month. She decided on her own and it was great. The hard part is that everyone is obsessed with gender. It started when Cally asked me about why he didn't have earrings. I explained boys had pee pees and girls had earrings. He was cool with that b/c like a lot a lot of guys he loves his pee pee. Problem is when Rach and I would hang out potty training he would point to her and explain how she didn't have a pee pee. So that started her with an obsession on male and female plumbing. She had to start asking everyone do you have a "wee wee" or a "pee pee". I mean everyone: Miriam, her teachers at church, her male social worker, etc. The best part is that when people respond shyly she drops her pants and explains boys have pee pees and I have a wee wee. Hopefully she drops this habit before middle school!



Harmon is ever the cool little man he had always been. He amazes me his amount of empathy. Especially considering many people think kids on the spectrum are not cuddly. Such a myth!!! He always wants to hug, kiss, and show me extra love when need it the most. Anyhow, we do have a problem teaching him that pets and siblings are not toys. He can be rough but he is never mean! He loves to piggy back Cally (which is an issue size wise) and tosses Rachel into the air when they practice swing dancing. The biggest problem is Henry the kitten. He thinks that is his stuffed animal. That cat's patience is amazing!!! He never minds it. Tonight Harmon put Henry in his back pack and wanted to take him to SAMs Club. That was a problem. Henry was a great sport and Harm made a promise to not put living creatures in his back pack ;).



Cally is Cally. He is just one easy going cool dude. Rachel and Harmon are very intense Cally is all about chilling. His love is music and he loves these toys called thing-a-mi-jigs that sing. He sings with them. When he is not singing though he loves to talk, to everything and anyone. His toys, people at stores, himself, the wall, etc. the issue is he won't make certain sounds though including F's, Z's, R's, Th's, and S's. It gives him the best weirdest cutest dialect ever. He talks with such enthusiasm but if you don't speak Cally, you might be very confused. For example when you ask him to buzz like a bee he goes "nerrrhhhh..." with a big deep throaty sound. I'm so happy I understand him because he says the funniest things. For example I asked him tonight if he was going to build houses like daddy. He replied, "I will build nicer houses than daddy! I will build castles like the beast! He than said "Beast and I look the same we wear ponytails!!!!". He than once more proceeded to roar: AARGH! as humanly loud as possible and than said happily "goodbye" and ran off. It was awesome!



This has been one of the hardest times in my life but it is my kids and husband that keep my spirits up! Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done but it is my greatest treasure. My kids are wonderful! They brighten me everyday. It has been hard being away in the hospital these last few times and when I'm sick and just have to lay down in the room at night by myself. I miss perhaps more than they miss me :p. I told the neurologist yesterday that we have to fix this pain. I can't live my life in half and I don't want to miss my time with these guys!



One last note. Thank you to all my dear friends who have been helping us. I can on Facebook we could use a home cooked meal and there is more friends volunteering than there were nights this week. I could not keep everything together without such support! Miriam has been in the trenches just showing these kids nonstop love when I just can't be there. Chris sits and edits my work for grammar and is just filling in blanks lately. This week he made a renewed effort in our home and in our marriage. It has been so hard but we have laughed more these last few days than we have in years. Family, friends, and my internet pals really have been supportive. The challenges are big but I'm not alone and I'm so grateful for that.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Friday, March 2, 2012

The kids are going to College next year!!

Lately I've been so busy working, doing my rehab, and everything else, that I needed Chris to take over some of the serious parenting things going on. After all we say we are co-parents so it was time we acted like that. With two Special Needs children there are always decisions to be made and issues to be solved. I've handled most of this on my own but it was time for Chris to take over half of this.


So two of his first official acts as leader were attending Harm's IEP meetings (which he did great with) two weeks ago on his own. He also decided, with help from educators at the IEP, on a very strict Prep Pre-k instead of doing the Fine Arts route I had wanted. I think I'm okay with it b/c the school is well-equipped to handle special needs kids and they want to take all three children all day (which will be convenient for me).

Still I find the idea of "college prep" for 3-5 year olds hilarious! Seriously? The place is even called College Heights! Chris was so excited that he camped out at 7 am on enrollment morning to get the kids accepted last Saturday. He was the 3rd in line (no way was I going out in the cold). The school's official goal is college preparation. I guess now if the kids can only get into Harvard, but not Yale at least we will have someone to blame.


I No Talkz Good Theze Dazes!

This week we have had several good things happen that I have wanted to share on my blog with everyone (Cally made the paper, Rachel taught me the difference between a pee pee and a wee wee, etc). Honestly, though I've just been really really tired so I've not been sharing much this week or been doing other internet activities.

Part of it also is that I realize I'm not writing very well these days either. I've always been a little scattered in my writing with dyslexia but now being so tired from everything, it seems like cohesive sentences are quite the challenge. While I don't mind writing like "I Can Haz Cheesburger", I can't imagine anyone enjoy reading the mess. So this weekend hopefully I will catch up on blogging without offending anyone who appreciates the art of grammar!


Until than happy Friday! Tomorrow is Caturday :) While I still will be working it will be nice having my hubby and critters around and be hanging out in my sweats this weekend!