Thursday, April 18, 2013

Arizona (or bust)!

I am still on cloud 9!  Everything just changed overnight.  So this is where I am at right now.  I am currently formally admitted.  I set aside this morning to finish my acceptance packet.  I still keep thinking I'm going to get a letter and it is going to say: "I'm sorry Francisca, we made a mistake."  But they didn't make a mistake and I'm going!!!  

There is one problem still present.  I was the 3rd candidate for 2 spots.  That meant they created a new spot for me.  The problem is that I have not been funded for that spot.  So I finished my admissions packet today and I wait.  At the very latest I will have a fully funded spot in August 2014.  Likely though I will have a spot earlier as a TA.  I do not want to end up a 100,000 in debt so waiting is unfortunately a necessary evil.  It is also hard because if a spot opens up last minute I have to pack up and resettle not just me, but my babies.  I'm sort of hoping for that reason that I will have a little more time here at home to settle everything and have a peaceful transition.

I also would like to work further with the NMSU faculty taking classes so that I can better prepare for the program.  I know it is going to be intense and being dyslexic is going to make this more challenging.  Also I will be teaching as a TA which is very intimidating for me.  But I can't let myself get psyched.  I have always been my own worse enemy and I know I can do this.  To make the transition easier though I am planning on using my time here to learn more about the process of teaching writing courses on the collegiate level. 

I still can't believe that I got into the program at ASU. I think Chris can't believe I got in either.  His response at this point has not been very positive.  I'm just tired and sad.  Of all the people I wanted to be proud of me and supportive, it was Chris.  So as of today I'm formally admitted and I have accepted my admittance into the program.  Now it is a patience game and hopefully a little time for healing for my little family.  

Princess fights the dragon!

I don't share as much about Rachel and Cerebral Palsy as one might expect.  It is because honestly we don't notice it all that much.  She is Rachel.  Beautiful, kind, and sweet.  She is also a spitfire and I'm grateful for that.  It is what allows her to overcome challenges!
Right now she is currently in Occupational Therapy and a special pre-school.  She does not get physical therapy because we are struggling to pay for all these services privately. It sucks but our medical insurance decided to drop all services and coverage for kids with Cerebral Palsy.  I do not know how it is legal for them to do that but all I can do is try to find other ways to get her the services she needs.

Honestly though she does really well on her own.  She still loves to dance and she loves to be active and happy.  In therapy what we see is she does well often the first couple times in an activity.  As it goes on she struggles and by the last time she goes around she looks very staggered and often falls.  Day to day we are still learning how not to coddle her but recognizing when she is tired and needs the extra help.  For that I'm grateful for her  therapy.  She gets stronger in her sessions but as a parent I learn to look for signs that she needs help and how best to help her.  I think when she finally does learn that she has CP she will laugh it off.  She knows she can reach the stars and I have no doubt that she will one day!

The Bronx Orator!

My whole life people have asked me if I'm from Europe.  I don't understand why.  I guess it is what happens when you mix a Puerto Rican accent with Texan.  Callum on the other hand sounds like he is from the Bronx!!!  It is adorable.  His palette doesn't close quite like other kids do (that is why he is in speech therapy) so it makes him sound like he is from New Yawk.  It is really cute.


What makes it even cuter is what he says.  I know I have posted a lot in the past about how incredibly cute his jabbering is but he is also very wise beyond his years.  One night he walked in and saw Chris and I not being happy with each other.  So he told us both sternly: "Mommy and Daddy, the bible tells us not to have contention in our house!"  And than he walked away.  OMG I just got put in my place by a 3 yr old!  And he was right!!!  If there was ever a kid with "Future Rabbi" written on his head that is Callum.



Momma's Boys!


I really didn't get the whole hubub about Mommy's and the unique relationship with thier sons.  Now I really get it!!!!  I love my Rachey and she is my dolly but those boys know how to hold their own in cuteness and sweetness.  They are just both total sweet love bugs.    Each of them is just fabulously beautiful and the way they show their  love for their mommy.  Harmon has decided when he grows up he is going to marry me.  Cally late at night when I'm cuddling with him will always tell me: "Mommy I wish this moment would last forever!"




It is always Harmon who tells me every day, "Mommy you are so pretty".  It is always Harmon who brings me little animals when I am sitting at my desk working late.  Callum is just a buddy.  He is the one who sits in the cart and helps me pick grocery items.  He loves to sit next to me at night just chilling.  

One day I know they will meet pretty girls and get married.  It is life!  I will miss being the center of their world when that happens.  But until than I will enjoy them being Momma's boys <3 font="">

Harmon's World!

When he was first born I just felt the world revolved around Harmon. I still think in many ways that is very true!



Harmon everyday reminds me of why I love my husband. He has this nervous awkwardness and sly smile all at once. When Harmon and I go on adventures I'm always delighted in seeing all the new things he is learning. I feel bad at times because he wants to fit in with the other boys and he really shouldn't worry. He needs to be himself more because Harmon is a sweet amazing boy! Often when I come home late he has drawed me cards or made art for me. He often sneaks it into my bathroom so when I come home there it is.


He is very brilliant and I love his depth of mechanics and imagination. The other day I let him use a little bit of packing tape to hang a picture. Well he decided to keep the tape in his room and when I came home from work he showed me how he turned a cardboard box into Buzz Lightyear's rocket ship. Not only that but he had used some card stock I had in my desk and cut out a group of individual planets and taped those to the wall.


His gym is still going wonderfully! I am so proud of him because he is just working really hard and I see the pride he has in succeeding! To be able to watch him and see him so happy makes me happy. Now his daddy started him in T Ball. That hasn't gone as well. Several of the boys pick on him because he is small. He struggled at the beginning of the season because his playing time was limited (couldn't hit or catch the ball) but now he is doing much better! He has scored his last two games. It makes me sad to see him struggle but I like that he is growing through this experience :)


Harmon is a wonderful boy! Even though the world doesn't still revolve around him he is a very big part of my world and I love everyday with him.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, April 8, 2013

Tonight I'm just over the moon with joy!

I keep telling myself it is time for bed but I just keep sitting here alone finishing up some stuff and smiling.  I'm just so happy.  Today I was offered a spot in the ASU Dramatic Writing Program.  I still keep thinking someone is going to pinch me and I will find out it wasn't real but it is real!!!  I did it.  I love writing but I honestly never thought I could be good enough to get into a good program.  Now I'm in one of the top in the nation and it is just joyful to know I can do this.  

I don't know how the details will work out.  I know it will be a sacrifice for our whole family but I also know that God will be there and it will all work out.  Tomorrow I will figure out the details (and there are so many to work out) but tonight I am just going to be happy!  One day when my kids read this I hope they remember that dreams can come true, even if they seem impossible.  For a dyslexic girl with three small children to get a chance to become a playwright, it's just a miracle!!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Redshirting? Separation???

My mother is funny.  She always worries about Harmon but never about the twins "because they have a little twin world".  It is true in some ways.  My twins have a very unique special bond that I can't ever describe.  They communicate with out words.  They drive each other crazy but can't stand to be separated from one another.  The twins just have a world that is all their own and I mourn that as they get older this bond is slowly waning.



Now we have some big dilemmas though.  Namely the question of redshirting.  The twins were born on August 28th.  The cutoff for kids born in TX or NM is September 1st.  This means that if the twins had been born 3 days later they would not be eligible to go to school until they were almost 6. Instead they are the youngest in their class.  I have two nieces born on the same day and my sister in law loves it.  My niece Sienna is very precocious and being the youngest in her grade is not a big deal.  

It is different with my twins though.  Primarily that my nieces were not premature.  Rachel and Cally though should have been born at Halloween time.  I feel sad that they are the very youngest in their school.  They attend a wonderful little parochial school that houses Pre-K 3, 4, and kindergarten in a 1 room setting where each grade gets it's own corner.  The educators are challenging but very kind and the whole school just is in love with my little curly haired critters (and Harm of course).


So the question at hand was should they repeat Pre-K 3 or go on too Pre-K 4.  The principal and their teacher had a surprising answer for me.  Rachel should move forward to the next grade (Pre-K 4) and Callum should repeat Pre-K 3.  Separating twins by grade???  That just seems so weird but it probably would only be for one year.  Rachel will repeat Pre-K 4 and than they would go to kinder together.  That is what the plan is.  


The concern is that Rachel is performing above the class level and needs to move on but I am worried what if she is still performing above level and shouldn't be redshirted.  Can you redshirt one twin and not the other???  That sounds incredibly wrong.  At the same time I don't want to delay Rach and I also don't want to push Cally to a level he is not ready for.  Childhood goes so fast.  I don't want him struggling.  The one thing everyone agrees on is that they need to be in separate classes so they don't use each other as a crutch.  They are so used to always being together that they don't know how to be apart at this point.  


So what the answer will be, I don't know.  It is just one of the big decisions that needs to be made right now and it makes me sad b/c it means the twin world might be broken a little more.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

New beginnings!!!

I've been off the blog for a few weeks trying to settle in.  We officially moved this month.  It was a bunch of drama because moving is not fun and it is always difficult; but because it was very sudden I just didn't get a chance to really prepare or organize.  That means a huge mess of everything.  I can't find 1/2 our stuff and I found out only after I changed addresses that my house doesn't receive mail.  With that said it has been quite nice.  

I live in a beautiful small community outside of my already small town.  It is called Mesilla and if you are ever traveling through the El Paso/Las Cruces area you need to come here b/c there is a beautiful plaza and amazing food.  We live outside of the plaza in an area filled with pecan trees.  The kids love it here!  



The boys are big in their bunk beds bunked for the first time and Rachel somehow got a room 2x bigger than the master and the boys room... figures!  It is all tile and so cleaning is easier.  The hardest thing I'm struggling with is lawn work.  OMG!!!  So we bought duckies to eat weeds and things like that.  Each of us got to name one and the twins came up with very mature names for their ducks: Poop Poo and Pee Pee.  



It has been a really weird couple of months.  Chris is still trying to figure somethings out.  I guess time will tell but I am hopeful.  In the mean time I got some incredibly wonderful but still frustrating news.  I am first alternate for ASU's dramatic Writing MFA program.  It is the best program in the region and there were over 150 applicants for two spots so I'm literally that close in catching lightning.  The department head told me I still have a really great shot at making it, so time will tell.  If I do than that will be another can of worms and for now I'm not dealing with that.  


We did do our first family long distance road trip to Las Vegas.  I'll share some neat pictures later this weekend or in the week once I can hook my camera up. We got to spend some amazing time with my sister.





I don't know how long though for several reasons I will be where we are at now but we are just making it as best we can.  In the mean time I'm just focusing on my babies and trying to keep going forward with a lot of faith!  I feel like these days I'm just sort of going with the flow waiting to see how the chips will 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Arizona (or bust)!

I am still on cloud 9!  Everything just changed overnight.  So this is where I am at right now.  I am currently formally admitted.  I set aside this morning to finish my acceptance packet.  I still keep thinking I'm going to get a letter and it is going to say: "I'm sorry Francisca, we made a mistake."  But they didn't make a mistake and I'm going!!!  

There is one problem still present.  I was the 3rd candidate for 2 spots.  That meant they created a new spot for me.  The problem is that I have not been funded for that spot.  So I finished my admissions packet today and I wait.  At the very latest I will have a fully funded spot in August 2014.  Likely though I will have a spot earlier as a TA.  I do not want to end up a 100,000 in debt so waiting is unfortunately a necessary evil.  It is also hard because if a spot opens up last minute I have to pack up and resettle not just me, but my babies.  I'm sort of hoping for that reason that I will have a little more time here at home to settle everything and have a peaceful transition.

I also would like to work further with the NMSU faculty taking classes so that I can better prepare for the program.  I know it is going to be intense and being dyslexic is going to make this more challenging.  Also I will be teaching as a TA which is very intimidating for me.  But I can't let myself get psyched.  I have always been my own worse enemy and I know I can do this.  To make the transition easier though I am planning on using my time here to learn more about the process of teaching writing courses on the collegiate level. 

I still can't believe that I got into the program at ASU. I think Chris can't believe I got in either.  His response at this point has not been very positive.  I'm just tired and sad.  Of all the people I wanted to be proud of me and supportive, it was Chris.  So as of today I'm formally admitted and I have accepted my admittance into the program.  Now it is a patience game and hopefully a little time for healing for my little family.  

Princess fights the dragon!

I don't share as much about Rachel and Cerebral Palsy as one might expect.  It is because honestly we don't notice it all that much.  She is Rachel.  Beautiful, kind, and sweet.  She is also a spitfire and I'm grateful for that.  It is what allows her to overcome challenges!
Right now she is currently in Occupational Therapy and a special pre-school.  She does not get physical therapy because we are struggling to pay for all these services privately. It sucks but our medical insurance decided to drop all services and coverage for kids with Cerebral Palsy.  I do not know how it is legal for them to do that but all I can do is try to find other ways to get her the services she needs.

Honestly though she does really well on her own.  She still loves to dance and she loves to be active and happy.  In therapy what we see is she does well often the first couple times in an activity.  As it goes on she struggles and by the last time she goes around she looks very staggered and often falls.  Day to day we are still learning how not to coddle her but recognizing when she is tired and needs the extra help.  For that I'm grateful for her  therapy.  She gets stronger in her sessions but as a parent I learn to look for signs that she needs help and how best to help her.  I think when she finally does learn that she has CP she will laugh it off.  She knows she can reach the stars and I have no doubt that she will one day!

The Bronx Orator!

My whole life people have asked me if I'm from Europe.  I don't understand why.  I guess it is what happens when you mix a Puerto Rican accent with Texan.  Callum on the other hand sounds like he is from the Bronx!!!  It is adorable.  His palette doesn't close quite like other kids do (that is why he is in speech therapy) so it makes him sound like he is from New Yawk.  It is really cute.


What makes it even cuter is what he says.  I know I have posted a lot in the past about how incredibly cute his jabbering is but he is also very wise beyond his years.  One night he walked in and saw Chris and I not being happy with each other.  So he told us both sternly: "Mommy and Daddy, the bible tells us not to have contention in our house!"  And than he walked away.  OMG I just got put in my place by a 3 yr old!  And he was right!!!  If there was ever a kid with "Future Rabbi" written on his head that is Callum.



Momma's Boys!


I really didn't get the whole hubub about Mommy's and the unique relationship with thier sons.  Now I really get it!!!!  I love my Rachey and she is my dolly but those boys know how to hold their own in cuteness and sweetness.  They are just both total sweet love bugs.    Each of them is just fabulously beautiful and the way they show their  love for their mommy.  Harmon has decided when he grows up he is going to marry me.  Cally late at night when I'm cuddling with him will always tell me: "Mommy I wish this moment would last forever!"




It is always Harmon who tells me every day, "Mommy you are so pretty".  It is always Harmon who brings me little animals when I am sitting at my desk working late.  Callum is just a buddy.  He is the one who sits in the cart and helps me pick grocery items.  He loves to sit next to me at night just chilling.  

One day I know they will meet pretty girls and get married.  It is life!  I will miss being the center of their world when that happens.  But until than I will enjoy them being Momma's boys <3 font="">

Harmon's World!

When he was first born I just felt the world revolved around Harmon. I still think in many ways that is very true!



Harmon everyday reminds me of why I love my husband. He has this nervous awkwardness and sly smile all at once. When Harmon and I go on adventures I'm always delighted in seeing all the new things he is learning. I feel bad at times because he wants to fit in with the other boys and he really shouldn't worry. He needs to be himself more because Harmon is a sweet amazing boy! Often when I come home late he has drawed me cards or made art for me. He often sneaks it into my bathroom so when I come home there it is.


He is very brilliant and I love his depth of mechanics and imagination. The other day I let him use a little bit of packing tape to hang a picture. Well he decided to keep the tape in his room and when I came home from work he showed me how he turned a cardboard box into Buzz Lightyear's rocket ship. Not only that but he had used some card stock I had in my desk and cut out a group of individual planets and taped those to the wall.


His gym is still going wonderfully! I am so proud of him because he is just working really hard and I see the pride he has in succeeding! To be able to watch him and see him so happy makes me happy. Now his daddy started him in T Ball. That hasn't gone as well. Several of the boys pick on him because he is small. He struggled at the beginning of the season because his playing time was limited (couldn't hit or catch the ball) but now he is doing much better! He has scored his last two games. It makes me sad to see him struggle but I like that he is growing through this experience :)


Harmon is a wonderful boy! Even though the world doesn't still revolve around him he is a very big part of my world and I love everyday with him.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, April 8, 2013

Tonight I'm just over the moon with joy!

I keep telling myself it is time for bed but I just keep sitting here alone finishing up some stuff and smiling.  I'm just so happy.  Today I was offered a spot in the ASU Dramatic Writing Program.  I still keep thinking someone is going to pinch me and I will find out it wasn't real but it is real!!!  I did it.  I love writing but I honestly never thought I could be good enough to get into a good program.  Now I'm in one of the top in the nation and it is just joyful to know I can do this.  

I don't know how the details will work out.  I know it will be a sacrifice for our whole family but I also know that God will be there and it will all work out.  Tomorrow I will figure out the details (and there are so many to work out) but tonight I am just going to be happy!  One day when my kids read this I hope they remember that dreams can come true, even if they seem impossible.  For a dyslexic girl with three small children to get a chance to become a playwright, it's just a miracle!!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Redshirting? Separation???

My mother is funny.  She always worries about Harmon but never about the twins "because they have a little twin world".  It is true in some ways.  My twins have a very unique special bond that I can't ever describe.  They communicate with out words.  They drive each other crazy but can't stand to be separated from one another.  The twins just have a world that is all their own and I mourn that as they get older this bond is slowly waning.



Now we have some big dilemmas though.  Namely the question of redshirting.  The twins were born on August 28th.  The cutoff for kids born in TX or NM is September 1st.  This means that if the twins had been born 3 days later they would not be eligible to go to school until they were almost 6. Instead they are the youngest in their class.  I have two nieces born on the same day and my sister in law loves it.  My niece Sienna is very precocious and being the youngest in her grade is not a big deal.  

It is different with my twins though.  Primarily that my nieces were not premature.  Rachel and Cally though should have been born at Halloween time.  I feel sad that they are the very youngest in their school.  They attend a wonderful little parochial school that houses Pre-K 3, 4, and kindergarten in a 1 room setting where each grade gets it's own corner.  The educators are challenging but very kind and the whole school just is in love with my little curly haired critters (and Harm of course).


So the question at hand was should they repeat Pre-K 3 or go on too Pre-K 4.  The principal and their teacher had a surprising answer for me.  Rachel should move forward to the next grade (Pre-K 4) and Callum should repeat Pre-K 3.  Separating twins by grade???  That just seems so weird but it probably would only be for one year.  Rachel will repeat Pre-K 4 and than they would go to kinder together.  That is what the plan is.  


The concern is that Rachel is performing above the class level and needs to move on but I am worried what if she is still performing above level and shouldn't be redshirted.  Can you redshirt one twin and not the other???  That sounds incredibly wrong.  At the same time I don't want to delay Rach and I also don't want to push Cally to a level he is not ready for.  Childhood goes so fast.  I don't want him struggling.  The one thing everyone agrees on is that they need to be in separate classes so they don't use each other as a crutch.  They are so used to always being together that they don't know how to be apart at this point.  


So what the answer will be, I don't know.  It is just one of the big decisions that needs to be made right now and it makes me sad b/c it means the twin world might be broken a little more.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

New beginnings!!!

I've been off the blog for a few weeks trying to settle in.  We officially moved this month.  It was a bunch of drama because moving is not fun and it is always difficult; but because it was very sudden I just didn't get a chance to really prepare or organize.  That means a huge mess of everything.  I can't find 1/2 our stuff and I found out only after I changed addresses that my house doesn't receive mail.  With that said it has been quite nice.  

I live in a beautiful small community outside of my already small town.  It is called Mesilla and if you are ever traveling through the El Paso/Las Cruces area you need to come here b/c there is a beautiful plaza and amazing food.  We live outside of the plaza in an area filled with pecan trees.  The kids love it here!  



The boys are big in their bunk beds bunked for the first time and Rachel somehow got a room 2x bigger than the master and the boys room... figures!  It is all tile and so cleaning is easier.  The hardest thing I'm struggling with is lawn work.  OMG!!!  So we bought duckies to eat weeds and things like that.  Each of us got to name one and the twins came up with very mature names for their ducks: Poop Poo and Pee Pee.  



It has been a really weird couple of months.  Chris is still trying to figure somethings out.  I guess time will tell but I am hopeful.  In the mean time I got some incredibly wonderful but still frustrating news.  I am first alternate for ASU's dramatic Writing MFA program.  It is the best program in the region and there were over 150 applicants for two spots so I'm literally that close in catching lightning.  The department head told me I still have a really great shot at making it, so time will tell.  If I do than that will be another can of worms and for now I'm not dealing with that.  


We did do our first family long distance road trip to Las Vegas.  I'll share some neat pictures later this weekend or in the week once I can hook my camera up. We got to spend some amazing time with my sister.





I don't know how long though for several reasons I will be where we are at now but we are just making it as best we can.  In the mean time I'm just focusing on my babies and trying to keep going forward with a lot of faith!  I feel like these days I'm just sort of going with the flow waiting to see how the chips will