Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Manipulation or hard negotiation?


When Chris and I come home from being gone for a day or two it is always chaos; but a very happy exhausting chaos! It is just so much fun to to be reunited. I had missed their smiles and antics so much. They missed me too I can tell. I also can appreciate things that I might not have otherwise observed. The funniest is that each has their own unique style of getting their way.


Rachel plays your classic "Damsel in Distress". I don't understand how when she never watches cartoons and is in a house with a ton of boys she can still pull this off. Where did she learn this? Anyhow when she wants something she gets her pretty green eyes and puckers the lips and gives you a oh so helpless whine. If I persist and say no she than follows you through out the house continuing her bid or goes to the other person (Miriam or Daddy often suffice) and give them that helpless look along with a "Mommy is so mean look". Something tells me she will get whatever she wants out of her future husband!


Harmon is more like a lawyer in getting his way. He asks politely "Mommy can I please" and if I say no he starts to negotiate. For example:
"Mommy can I please play with my bubbles?"
"No it is lunch time and afterwards you need to take a bath."
"How about bubbles first and than lunch?"
"No, it is time for lunch and than bath time. After your bath you can play?"
"How about lunch, than bubbles, than bath?"
Sometimes he will also pull the "I asked Miriam and she said I could" card when of course he never asked her. It amazes me that a year ago he had barely learned to say Momma and now could probably now negotiate a mob boss out of jail time.


Than finally there is Cally. He is probably the most successful in his art form of negotiation. He is very very cute. He just follows you around smiling with whatever he wants until you will do it for him. He is very patient and will outlast me no matter what. For example he had a book last night he wanted Dad to read. He followed Daddy showing him the book until he would stop and read it. Once Chris read it. He than proceeded to smile and gesture for it again. He got read that book over and over with his sweetness.

Miriam said it best today that watching each of these sweeties: watching them grow up you realize early on how unique and different each is. They are and I love them for their unique talents... even if it means they are being a little sneaky.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Growing up and growing old :o


Chris and I were already up in Albuquerque just the two of us so we decided to drop in and spend a night in Santa Fe. It had been a crazy few weeks and we had an Abuelita who was very excited to watch them. We told Harmon when we got home where we were and Harmon was overjoyed exclaiming "you went to Santa Fe to see Santa????" When we were leaving that little bug didn't even care to say good bye to us b/c he was already immersed in fun. I missed the days when he couldn't stand me leaving and couldn't wait for me to get home

I think the nicest part about the weekend was spending time together. We actually got really romantic ;) It felt like the old days. Sadly one of the highlights was just hanging out in bed watching TV (last night was a "Deadliest Catch" marathon and this morning was a "Pawn Stars" marathon). As always we spent the whole road trip up and down debating politics. We are such sad nerds.

The funniest thing was Santa Fe though. Nightlife wise on we had a choice of a grunge punk band (which is a genre I loved) and old piano bar with an even older clientele. We would have been so out of place at the grunge band bar and so we choose the piano bar. There were 50 people all about 45 to age 80 swooning over a piano man singing hits like "Michelle, My Belle" and "What a Wonderful World". Some were singing horridly and loudly out of key while others were standing shaking booty.

It was a pretty scary sight. We left going thank Heaven's we are still young but than as we tuned the radio to an "oldies" station that features music from the 90's it hit me: YOU ARE NOT THAT FAR BEHIND. Uh oh!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

"As You Wish"...

I remember growing up I used to watch movies like this and think that is love? Nahh.... I think I was right. Often time in my marriage I joke we are more like Lady Gaga's song "Bad Romance". Chris and I have our differences. We are two really stubborn people with completely different world viewpoints and upbringings. Just b/c we see things differently and don't always jive doesn't mean we don't truly love each other.

We drive each other crazy over the little things. Tonight Chris insisted on forward facing the twins (one of our many ongoing debates) since he had to switch the seats into his car while mine gets body work done. When I go back to my car I will be switching them back until the twins turn two (which drives him crazy). I could get frustrated but than I see the small things he does like get me a silly gossip magazine to help me relax like he had waiting for me tonight.

Marriage is not easy but as I've been dealing with some tough news this week it has been Chris who has held my hand. He is pretty far from perfect on some things; but I truly see his desire to be better which makes me want to be better. My marriage might not be a fairytale (it is more like a comedy mixed in with action/adventure) but I think would be pretty dull so I will take what I have and try to make it better.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Retail Therapy!!!

I think sometimes life just gets very stressful. Last night I posted a little bit from my rambling mind and if you read earlier you probably thought she is going crazy so that is why I edited for simplification this morning. Tonight I'll just keep it short.


Things are stressful but I'm hanging in there. I'm just trying to balance everything with a little optimism when sometimes I feel like I can't do everything I need to do. So tonight I went to Target for popcorn. Since I was there and had a gift card I browsed the sale rack. I found there 3 gorgeous outfits that were marked down 75% off (a beautiful blue dress w/white cardi, and two matching summer suits that are all perfect for church). I'm happy b/c I got $70 worth of clothing for 21 dollars. It is silly to be happy about finding something cute and saving a few bucks but tonight I was.

The cutest thing was that Rachel was very happy too! She saw the new clothes and had to play with them. She is such a girl!

Tomorrow I think I'm going to cancel appointments. I'm not a super hero and I need to take it a little easier for my health's sake. My mom is taking the kids overnight this weekend. At least I know I will get some sleep!!! Maybe I can convince him to leave our cell phones at home (but than again we have kids).

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Potty Training dogs and kids :)

On great Harm news I think it is finally safe for me to say that Harmon is Potty Trained. While Miriam our nanny was gone and I was the one with them, I just sort of gave up on any real "method" that she had been trying. I handled it like I handle my pets b/c I've never potty trained humans but I've potty trained a lot dogs. If Harmon drank water than I took him to the potty 20 minutes later. Otherwise every hour or so I just took him to the potty. Once he learned how to poop I used 1/4 of a Twizzler as a prize for every time he goes. When I saw he could poop and pee consistently I let him know that if he choose not to use the potty there was a negative consequence, he would lose a Thomas Train for 1 day. He is doing it! Now we will see if he can handle us being away for a couple of days and stick to it. Either way I'm teased about my "dog" training... but it worked!

In other news: It was Harm's last day of school today. We are very sad b/c we know he will miss his teachers and class mates. I'm hoping he will love his Summer Camp just as much. He will be back in August though so that will be something to look forward too. Oh and Miriam is home from Europe!!!! We missed her so much!!!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Mom! Mum! Mommy! Momma!


I saw this clip last night for a TBS commercial. I almost died laughing. This was SOOO me yesterday. I was a little tired after not getting much sleep this weekend and so Chris was trying to let me rest a little. The kids had another idea... they sat next to me and kept wanting attention so I kicked them out and locked the door. I than had 3 kids pushing and yelling at the door "momma, mommy, MOM..." until Chris took them outside to ride bikes. After bike riding was over they all came back and guess what I could hear at the door: "mom, mommy, momma..." Oh well, when I'm older and my home is quieter than a tomb I'll probably miss these days!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

My new TV guilty pleasure!


I admit shows like The Soup and Bridezillas are little guilty pleasures of mine. Yes they give me no new knowledge or sense of social responsibility but they always give me good laughs. Parking Wars is my latest pleasure! It is so flipping funny how people can be sometimes.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Little Restaurant goers...


It is funny how the way you are raised affects so much how you raise your children. I don't think Chris went to more than 5 real restaurants (sit down w/a menu) before he turned 10. He is #3 of 9 children w/a stay at home mom. He teases me that he likes barbecue so much b/c until he was in college he thought barbecue was hamburgers on the grill. On the other hand my mom worked and my family has always loved eating out. I can't remember not eating out ever at nice restaurants. If we ever acted up we knew we would be murdered so I can't remember but a handful of times ever acting up and when I have my mother made sure I got a talking too so it never lasted long.

I guess this has motivated me to teach my kids to behave well in restaurants and in general when we are in public. Well lets just say I often equate getting the kids anywhere is like herding cats. Well having them behave at a restaurant is like herding tigers into a high chair and getting them to eat lettuce.


Anyhow we are making it work. Our tricks include, lots of finger foods, bringing Harm his own sandwich b/c he hates all food practically, magnetic drawing boards, small quiet toys, and begging the waiter to beg the kitchen staff to be swift ;) Yesterday we went to a great Mexican place and the twins cracked us up. They kept dipping their chips into the salsa, guzzled water, and repeated again. They are my little Hispanic babies at heart.

Hopefully one day they will be as well behaved as my siblings and I were as kids. Of course now I understand why my parents insisted on going to places that serve alcohol. Since we don't drink that means we always need places with great desserts!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Politics: bikinis vs swim MuMu's ...

Chris and I have had to work rather closely this week. Our temporary help while our nanny Miriam is out of town fell through and so we are just trying to get it done. This experience has given me new appreciation for Chris. One of Rachel's therapists told me how Chris just really pushed her today at gym and she did things she has never done for us. Tonight he took all the kids by himself to Peter Piper and they had a great time.


I laughed tonight when I read an article about couple compatibility: link. It said if you want to find a great life partner that your best bet is to find a partner who aligns themselves politically as you do. Well, Chris and I are doomed. If I like Clinton he likes Bush. If I want universal health care he wants to dissolve medicare/medicaid. It made me think that honestly we are not very compatible about much. Heck we even argue about religion (and we are members of the same religion).

Example in point. We are going to Cancun later this year. I wanted to be a little cuter this year than normal. Since I have the chest of a 5 year old boy making cleavage impossible I thought this top would be adorable and not over the top (I was going to match it with some adorable board shorts).

You would think I was trancing around the beach in a string bikini and a thong if you had seen Chris' reaction. I think he would prefer I wore a suit like this.


Oh well I guess we will always be doomed to being incompatible but at least we love each other!

The missing boy in Maine...


On Monday I was reading news off my IPhone. I saw the above picture and the little boy in the picture looked oddly like Harmon in some ways. It broke my heart that here he was found on a remote street wrapped in a blanket, dead. I try not to read about cases like this. It makes me so sad but this time I couldn't help myself. I thought about how he had little Lightning McQueen shoes just like Harmon. How he probably loved to run and talk about fun things like trains and friends. I kept wondering how could no one know who he was? How could a beautiful child like that not matter to anyone?


Today they found out who he was. His name is Camden Pierce Hughes. (Camden was a name I considered for Harmon.) He was a really beautiful little boy!

Tonight I hugged my son a little tighter.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Callum has rabies and other funny sayings!


Cally is just killing it! He is very very bright. Anytime we drive over a rail road track he says "rail road". He has learned many words including: up, down, Harmon, etc. He loves making animal sounds especially. Unfortunately he has also learned a horrible 4 letter word: MINE!

Today he was barking at a book with a dog on the front at Barnes & Noble. A little girl came up to me and asked politely if Callum has rabies. I told her nicely, "no, he has had all his shots."

Harmon always says cute things! Our best Harmon saying was a couple days ago at Target. He wanted a pink ballet Disney Princess swimsuit. Chris told him nicely you can't wear that, you are a little boy. Harmon replied adamantly: I don't want to be a boy I want to be a princess!


Not to be outdone Rachel is also increasing her speech despite her Cerebral Palsy issues. It is interesting b/c her speech has been affected. Mainly she thinks she is talking, her mouth is moving, but sound doesn't come out. It is like she has a mute button on. With a little speech work we expect this to go away (unless she gets overly excited it might occur). Anyhow she can say Ba for our kitty Bob and MehMeh for our dog Mackenzie. She doesn't have a lot of words honestly besides the usual (Mom, Dad, wawa, etc.); but for a princess she does have the most important vocabulary: bow, shoes and as of today PURSE!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Who is cuter: baby or puppy????

Welcome to the Death Match of the century!

In the left corner is a mixed breed Bichon-Frise/Yorkshire Terrier born of full bred AKC parents.

In the right corner is a very cute baby girl with naturally curly blonde hair, greyish green eyes, and is perfectly petite.

Lets take the two to a public place and see who gets the most compliments.

Today it was the Farmer's Market where I held Rachel's hand and Kenzie's leash. Dog 4 and baby girl 0. Seriously the little girl with a cute dress and big bow got no compliments but the dog got 4? Yes! One girl even stopped us to GUSH about how wonderfully cute our dog is... Chris wanted tell her "what about the babies"? He gets so mad when this happens! I think it is funny but quite perplexing. We all know Rachel (and my adorable boys) are 100x cuter than a dog, if someone misses that, well than too bad for them ;) Fact is though that our home is filled with some gorgeous girls of all ages and species.

Note: since Chris had the boys so they were not considered in today's experiment.

PS: Great Movie Recommendation
I didn't see any ads for this film called: Jumping the Broom, but I saw a good review for it. So today Chris and I went to the theatre and it was GREAT. The writing was so funny but still very meaningful. The acting was great. It is sort of a modern day Pride and Prejudice gone reverse celebrating the African-American culture. On a side note it had been 23 months since we had seen a movie in the theatre... that is sad!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Daddy's Little Girl!

I don't listen to country anymore. I did my senior year in high school and during my college years (I suspect everyone at UT Austin listens to it so I did). Tonight I was tired and just to brain dead to work, so I started listening to daughter themed songs. First I started with "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright. Than YouTube started suggesting all the country songs about daughters: "My Wish", "Stealing Cinderella", and "I loved Her First".

It just made me think so much about my daughter Rachel and growing up myself. I didn't have a lot of self-worth as a child (I was always the one teased for being different). As I got older and became more attractive I became more popular but I didn't really feel better about myself. In college and after living in Las Vegas I learned to be proud of myself and I learned my self worth. I try not to get schmaltzy about religion but I know it was my faith that helped. I think I didn't want to have a daughter originally b/c I didn't want her to go through what a lot of younger girls go through these days. The pressure to be thin, popular, perfect, etc. I think is more prevalent today than just 10-15 yrs ago when I was coming of age. Pink's video "F**ing Perfect" is any mother's worse nightmare but when you read about girls like Demi Lovato struggling with eating disorders and cutting I realize it isn't far from reality for some.

Watching those cheesy Daddy/Daughter videos gave me a little peace. My daughter will have one thing I really didn't have, a daddy who worships her. Chris loves all of his children. He was so thrilled Harm was a boy and I know he anxiously awaits for boy scout camp outs and father/son trips; but there is something special about his bond with Rachel! He just adores her and she just lights up when he comes into the room. I know he will always tell her how beautiful and wonderful she is. That she is a daughter of God. No boy will be good enough for his princess. He will be polishing his gun when the guys come in and will only give away her hand when she finds a truly worthy suitor.

I think the media sometimes minimizes the roles of dad's. Not having been too close to my father I didn't see why they were so important to be quite honest until recently (and I'm not minimizing the great things women do for their kids). I just think the world is pretty dang hard and a good father can provide a base of stability and love that helps their son's and their daughter's lives as they weather through those hard years. I'm so glad we have our little girl and I'm so glad she has her Daddy who thinks the world of her :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Counting, death threats, and best friends!


Our nanny Miriam was a mean horrible women: she wanted a 2 week vacation to go see Europe with her siblings. Okay she isn't horrible by any means and I actually really happy for her, but we miss her so much! I was so lucky b/c at the last minute we found a great temporary girl who is a college student and was only going to be in town for 3 wks before she started her Summer term at BYU. She is great but I've had to teach someone from scratch our very complicated routines. This upheaval has made me realize and appreciate a few things though!

First when I'm home I'm constantly going don't make me put you in time out: 5... 4... 3... 2... and he I never have to get to 1. The twins even understand counting means death. I don't know how but if I say "drop it" or "no" they ignore me but if they hear: 5... 4... they stop it right away. It is funny b/c I rarely have to follow through on a threat but when I do Miriam normally helps. I think she comes off as the good cop. I laugh though b/c she and now Brett each tell me the kids (and the pets) only listen to me. I didn't think I was mean but I guess I am!


The other thing I realized while training up our new girl was that I am so glad that we have all 3 of these kids so close in age. They love playing with one another. Especially Harmon loves making up games and the twins go along with it. Today he turned the couch into a school bus and the twins were his students. Other times today I noticed the three just LAUGHING and later at the park Harmon and Cally tried to sneak off to play with this water fountain. It was adorable. I miss the days when it was just Harm and I. I feel bad I don't spend time one on one with the kids like I used to spend time with him; but I think all of them are happier in a way b/c they have each other.

It is going to be a tough 2 weeks for everyone (Harm especially is struggling but everyone here misses Miriam), but I'm grateful to have a new perspective.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Being a "REAL" mother...

It is funny b/c when I was growing up and even post-college motherhood was never a big goal in my life. I never babysat growing up. I never wanted to hold other people's kids and I never got all sappy when I saw a new baby. My dreams were always different.

My Mother and I with Harmon

When I had my kids it wasn't any better. With Harmon especially... this 5 lb colicky, screaming, puking creature... I just wanted to put a sign on my front door saying "free infant to a good home". Oddly enough when he does things like break my IPhone or color my purse with permanent marker I've been tempted to put that sign once again on my front door.


The twins were a little bit easier in some ways and much harder in others. Suddenly I had two new blobs and they were intruding on this very close relationship I had with Harmon (who no longer was a blob but my dear sweet wonderful baby boy). Balancing Harmon and now the twins had more serious health needs (and again there were two of them) so all that "mothering" I had mastered was completely useless. Once again I felt like putting that sign on my door.


My sister playing with the boys

Through all of this though I've been surrounded by help. In Las Vegas I had a dear friend, Kim, who just really stepped in and helped me know I wasn't alone. My sister Eliza was always at our home just ready to help while my BFF Jaimie was alway ready to kidnap me for some baby-free fun. Many dear friends gave us great hand-me down stuff b/c things were really really tight cash wise.

When we moved here my mother stepped in and when I spent two months in the hospital she actually took over full time care for Harmon. Since than, new friends here in Las Cruces have put in a helping hand as has Chris' family. Than there is Miriam our nanny. She has cared for the kids since the twins were home for the hospital. She has become a dear friend and the kids love her more than anything (all 3 say her name all day long).

Grandma Hakes w/Cally

So today is Mother's Day and it has me led to me realizing that first off while mother-hood was never in the plans it truly has been the best thing ever. I really love my kids more than anything! My family is the best part of my life!!!

The other thing it had me remember is that being a mom doesn't really just mean you gave birth or adopted children. When we were in London, I had just been diagnosed with infertility and of course it was Mother's Day. In church the speaker mentioned that every women is a mother at heart. It made me feel better a little and than Chris told me that was boo hah and again I felt a touch mopey. Now though I realize that it is true. Many of my friends who I talk about on this blog who have helped me don't have kids; but they have a heart full of love. I guess tonight I wanted to give them a nod of appreciation. I wouldn't want to be a mom w/o these ladies by my side.

Miriam with the twins

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Bubonic Plague Strikes Again :(


At 2 am we heard a faint cry "Mommy... Daddy... I feel sick." Dad jumped into action b/c he knew what was going to happen and it did! VOMIT VOMIT EVERYWHERE :( Poor little Harmon. This is happening to us about once a month. I really am starting to worry. I want to talk with my pediatrician and see if we can go ahead and do further testing. I'm really worried this might be something bigger b/c the twins don't vomit like this and none of my friends vomit like this. Part of me wonders if it has to do with his Sensory Integration. I just hope we can figure out a way to stop it.

Anyhow today the only thing that would stop his vomiting was a medicine that cost $350. We have a family HSA so it wasn't the end of the world but if we didn't have it... wow. It is interesting about how out of control health care is these days.

Oh well, Harmon is feeling better thanks to his magical golden medicine. I buy toys my kids will love when I see a great sale and I keep them for birthdays or other special occasions. Today Harmon was so sick I brought out a new wooden Thomas Train for him. It was Gordon and when he saw it he cracked his first smile. I had a lot to do today before our nanny goes on vacation but none of it got done. Just seeing him smile and feeling better made everything well worth it today.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Truly awkward family photos!!!


I love taking family pictures b/c I have had my entire family in 20 months. These moments are going to go fast. I know our pictures are disgustingly cheesy! I would like to get nicer ones done for Christmas this year since we will only be doing this 2x a year but I don't think that will ease the amount of out-takes. So enjoy our gallery of true awkwardness ;p

The lobster begs... "take me to Red Lobster and put me out of my misery" while Sponge Bob is just soooo embarrassed to be in the picture.

"Oh crap, we really have twins!"

"I got you!"

"I am killer bunny out to eat you!"

"eek Mom you are dropping me!"

"Mom, she's touching me!"

Are we done yet??

Everyone needs an awkward wedding photo

Monday, May 2, 2011

Things are getting more painful...



I don't talk about my condition very often because I don't like being defined by it. If you know me in real life you know I walk like a defunct penguin and I get good parking b/c of it but I don't ever talk about why I am that way and how it affects me.

What I have is Rheumatoid Arthritis. I've had it since I was 11. One day after cheerleading tryouts I woke up and my knees had swollen to the sizes of cantaloupes. With in a few months I had trouble walking or holding things. That is why my hands are slightly deformed. They put me on a low dose chemotherapy called Methotrexate and that put me in remission after a year. It also caused me to lose a massive amount of weight (over 50 lbs and led to other health problems that almost did me in.

So I've been on a new type of medication for about 14 yrs now that blocks something called the Tumor Necrosis Factor. It is called Humira and I take the shot every couple of weeks. I've been doing pretty well but as time goes on my body is becoming more and more immune to it. This has meant damage to my joints. It is why I got my hip replaced last year and why I will need my other hip and my left knee replaced soon. Now while I'm caring for the kids or writing on my computer sometimes my feet or hands just lock. This is a sign things are getting a lot worse. We don't want them locking permanently!

That means soon I will need to make some serious care decisions. One will be to either go back on methotrexate or not and take the risks this medication leads to. Another will be to go on these daily injections to strengthen my bones. They are hard decisions b/c with each new medication that I introduce to my body the likely-hood of serious side-effects increase. I almost passed on when I had pancreatitis in college and so I understand that risk. But I also don't want to be disabled to the point where I can't actively play with my kids or live my life.

So that is where I am at. Not fun decisions. I probably will not talk about this again for a long time. Like I said, I don't like I don't like talking about this. I just felt like I should talk about it this once.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The infamous pictures...

Just b/c I promised here are a few pictures of our new house. We are still not done by any means unpacking but we are getting settled in slowly. We are not even done building it quite yet. My goal is to have it cleaned by next week and fully unpacked.

The house is designed to be open floor concept with a loft feel in the living areas. We wanted it really open so I can keep an eye on the critters all the time.

(Front yard landscaping is still not finished...)
Here is the kitchen. The bar top off the island was designed to sit lower so that it can accommodate regular chairs which are safer for the kids. We are leaning towards making the back drop less reminiscent of a Zebra.

Here is the Master bath...
This is the living room...

So far my favorite decorated room is Rachel's. I rushed to finish it hoping my sister could visit... but she can't at this point :(

There is more house so if you want the extended tour you can see our picture blog: link.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Manipulation or hard negotiation?


When Chris and I come home from being gone for a day or two it is always chaos; but a very happy exhausting chaos! It is just so much fun to to be reunited. I had missed their smiles and antics so much. They missed me too I can tell. I also can appreciate things that I might not have otherwise observed. The funniest is that each has their own unique style of getting their way.


Rachel plays your classic "Damsel in Distress". I don't understand how when she never watches cartoons and is in a house with a ton of boys she can still pull this off. Where did she learn this? Anyhow when she wants something she gets her pretty green eyes and puckers the lips and gives you a oh so helpless whine. If I persist and say no she than follows you through out the house continuing her bid or goes to the other person (Miriam or Daddy often suffice) and give them that helpless look along with a "Mommy is so mean look". Something tells me she will get whatever she wants out of her future husband!


Harmon is more like a lawyer in getting his way. He asks politely "Mommy can I please" and if I say no he starts to negotiate. For example:
"Mommy can I please play with my bubbles?"
"No it is lunch time and afterwards you need to take a bath."
"How about bubbles first and than lunch?"
"No, it is time for lunch and than bath time. After your bath you can play?"
"How about lunch, than bubbles, than bath?"
Sometimes he will also pull the "I asked Miriam and she said I could" card when of course he never asked her. It amazes me that a year ago he had barely learned to say Momma and now could probably now negotiate a mob boss out of jail time.


Than finally there is Cally. He is probably the most successful in his art form of negotiation. He is very very cute. He just follows you around smiling with whatever he wants until you will do it for him. He is very patient and will outlast me no matter what. For example he had a book last night he wanted Dad to read. He followed Daddy showing him the book until he would stop and read it. Once Chris read it. He than proceeded to smile and gesture for it again. He got read that book over and over with his sweetness.

Miriam said it best today that watching each of these sweeties: watching them grow up you realize early on how unique and different each is. They are and I love them for their unique talents... even if it means they are being a little sneaky.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Growing up and growing old :o


Chris and I were already up in Albuquerque just the two of us so we decided to drop in and spend a night in Santa Fe. It had been a crazy few weeks and we had an Abuelita who was very excited to watch them. We told Harmon when we got home where we were and Harmon was overjoyed exclaiming "you went to Santa Fe to see Santa????" When we were leaving that little bug didn't even care to say good bye to us b/c he was already immersed in fun. I missed the days when he couldn't stand me leaving and couldn't wait for me to get home

I think the nicest part about the weekend was spending time together. We actually got really romantic ;) It felt like the old days. Sadly one of the highlights was just hanging out in bed watching TV (last night was a "Deadliest Catch" marathon and this morning was a "Pawn Stars" marathon). As always we spent the whole road trip up and down debating politics. We are such sad nerds.

The funniest thing was Santa Fe though. Nightlife wise on we had a choice of a grunge punk band (which is a genre I loved) and old piano bar with an even older clientele. We would have been so out of place at the grunge band bar and so we choose the piano bar. There were 50 people all about 45 to age 80 swooning over a piano man singing hits like "Michelle, My Belle" and "What a Wonderful World". Some were singing horridly and loudly out of key while others were standing shaking booty.

It was a pretty scary sight. We left going thank Heaven's we are still young but than as we tuned the radio to an "oldies" station that features music from the 90's it hit me: YOU ARE NOT THAT FAR BEHIND. Uh oh!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

"As You Wish"...

I remember growing up I used to watch movies like this and think that is love? Nahh.... I think I was right. Often time in my marriage I joke we are more like Lady Gaga's song "Bad Romance". Chris and I have our differences. We are two really stubborn people with completely different world viewpoints and upbringings. Just b/c we see things differently and don't always jive doesn't mean we don't truly love each other.

We drive each other crazy over the little things. Tonight Chris insisted on forward facing the twins (one of our many ongoing debates) since he had to switch the seats into his car while mine gets body work done. When I go back to my car I will be switching them back until the twins turn two (which drives him crazy). I could get frustrated but than I see the small things he does like get me a silly gossip magazine to help me relax like he had waiting for me tonight.

Marriage is not easy but as I've been dealing with some tough news this week it has been Chris who has held my hand. He is pretty far from perfect on some things; but I truly see his desire to be better which makes me want to be better. My marriage might not be a fairytale (it is more like a comedy mixed in with action/adventure) but I think would be pretty dull so I will take what I have and try to make it better.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Retail Therapy!!!

I think sometimes life just gets very stressful. Last night I posted a little bit from my rambling mind and if you read earlier you probably thought she is going crazy so that is why I edited for simplification this morning. Tonight I'll just keep it short.


Things are stressful but I'm hanging in there. I'm just trying to balance everything with a little optimism when sometimes I feel like I can't do everything I need to do. So tonight I went to Target for popcorn. Since I was there and had a gift card I browsed the sale rack. I found there 3 gorgeous outfits that were marked down 75% off (a beautiful blue dress w/white cardi, and two matching summer suits that are all perfect for church). I'm happy b/c I got $70 worth of clothing for 21 dollars. It is silly to be happy about finding something cute and saving a few bucks but tonight I was.

The cutest thing was that Rachel was very happy too! She saw the new clothes and had to play with them. She is such a girl!

Tomorrow I think I'm going to cancel appointments. I'm not a super hero and I need to take it a little easier for my health's sake. My mom is taking the kids overnight this weekend. At least I know I will get some sleep!!! Maybe I can convince him to leave our cell phones at home (but than again we have kids).

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Potty Training dogs and kids :)

On great Harm news I think it is finally safe for me to say that Harmon is Potty Trained. While Miriam our nanny was gone and I was the one with them, I just sort of gave up on any real "method" that she had been trying. I handled it like I handle my pets b/c I've never potty trained humans but I've potty trained a lot dogs. If Harmon drank water than I took him to the potty 20 minutes later. Otherwise every hour or so I just took him to the potty. Once he learned how to poop I used 1/4 of a Twizzler as a prize for every time he goes. When I saw he could poop and pee consistently I let him know that if he choose not to use the potty there was a negative consequence, he would lose a Thomas Train for 1 day. He is doing it! Now we will see if he can handle us being away for a couple of days and stick to it. Either way I'm teased about my "dog" training... but it worked!

In other news: It was Harm's last day of school today. We are very sad b/c we know he will miss his teachers and class mates. I'm hoping he will love his Summer Camp just as much. He will be back in August though so that will be something to look forward too. Oh and Miriam is home from Europe!!!! We missed her so much!!!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Mom! Mum! Mommy! Momma!


I saw this clip last night for a TBS commercial. I almost died laughing. This was SOOO me yesterday. I was a little tired after not getting much sleep this weekend and so Chris was trying to let me rest a little. The kids had another idea... they sat next to me and kept wanting attention so I kicked them out and locked the door. I than had 3 kids pushing and yelling at the door "momma, mommy, MOM..." until Chris took them outside to ride bikes. After bike riding was over they all came back and guess what I could hear at the door: "mom, mommy, momma..." Oh well, when I'm older and my home is quieter than a tomb I'll probably miss these days!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

My new TV guilty pleasure!


I admit shows like The Soup and Bridezillas are little guilty pleasures of mine. Yes they give me no new knowledge or sense of social responsibility but they always give me good laughs. Parking Wars is my latest pleasure! It is so flipping funny how people can be sometimes.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Little Restaurant goers...


It is funny how the way you are raised affects so much how you raise your children. I don't think Chris went to more than 5 real restaurants (sit down w/a menu) before he turned 10. He is #3 of 9 children w/a stay at home mom. He teases me that he likes barbecue so much b/c until he was in college he thought barbecue was hamburgers on the grill. On the other hand my mom worked and my family has always loved eating out. I can't remember not eating out ever at nice restaurants. If we ever acted up we knew we would be murdered so I can't remember but a handful of times ever acting up and when I have my mother made sure I got a talking too so it never lasted long.

I guess this has motivated me to teach my kids to behave well in restaurants and in general when we are in public. Well lets just say I often equate getting the kids anywhere is like herding cats. Well having them behave at a restaurant is like herding tigers into a high chair and getting them to eat lettuce.


Anyhow we are making it work. Our tricks include, lots of finger foods, bringing Harm his own sandwich b/c he hates all food practically, magnetic drawing boards, small quiet toys, and begging the waiter to beg the kitchen staff to be swift ;) Yesterday we went to a great Mexican place and the twins cracked us up. They kept dipping their chips into the salsa, guzzled water, and repeated again. They are my little Hispanic babies at heart.

Hopefully one day they will be as well behaved as my siblings and I were as kids. Of course now I understand why my parents insisted on going to places that serve alcohol. Since we don't drink that means we always need places with great desserts!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Politics: bikinis vs swim MuMu's ...

Chris and I have had to work rather closely this week. Our temporary help while our nanny Miriam is out of town fell through and so we are just trying to get it done. This experience has given me new appreciation for Chris. One of Rachel's therapists told me how Chris just really pushed her today at gym and she did things she has never done for us. Tonight he took all the kids by himself to Peter Piper and they had a great time.


I laughed tonight when I read an article about couple compatibility: link. It said if you want to find a great life partner that your best bet is to find a partner who aligns themselves politically as you do. Well, Chris and I are doomed. If I like Clinton he likes Bush. If I want universal health care he wants to dissolve medicare/medicaid. It made me think that honestly we are not very compatible about much. Heck we even argue about religion (and we are members of the same religion).

Example in point. We are going to Cancun later this year. I wanted to be a little cuter this year than normal. Since I have the chest of a 5 year old boy making cleavage impossible I thought this top would be adorable and not over the top (I was going to match it with some adorable board shorts).

You would think I was trancing around the beach in a string bikini and a thong if you had seen Chris' reaction. I think he would prefer I wore a suit like this.


Oh well I guess we will always be doomed to being incompatible but at least we love each other!

The missing boy in Maine...


On Monday I was reading news off my IPhone. I saw the above picture and the little boy in the picture looked oddly like Harmon in some ways. It broke my heart that here he was found on a remote street wrapped in a blanket, dead. I try not to read about cases like this. It makes me so sad but this time I couldn't help myself. I thought about how he had little Lightning McQueen shoes just like Harmon. How he probably loved to run and talk about fun things like trains and friends. I kept wondering how could no one know who he was? How could a beautiful child like that not matter to anyone?


Today they found out who he was. His name is Camden Pierce Hughes. (Camden was a name I considered for Harmon.) He was a really beautiful little boy!

Tonight I hugged my son a little tighter.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Callum has rabies and other funny sayings!


Cally is just killing it! He is very very bright. Anytime we drive over a rail road track he says "rail road". He has learned many words including: up, down, Harmon, etc. He loves making animal sounds especially. Unfortunately he has also learned a horrible 4 letter word: MINE!

Today he was barking at a book with a dog on the front at Barnes & Noble. A little girl came up to me and asked politely if Callum has rabies. I told her nicely, "no, he has had all his shots."

Harmon always says cute things! Our best Harmon saying was a couple days ago at Target. He wanted a pink ballet Disney Princess swimsuit. Chris told him nicely you can't wear that, you are a little boy. Harmon replied adamantly: I don't want to be a boy I want to be a princess!


Not to be outdone Rachel is also increasing her speech despite her Cerebral Palsy issues. It is interesting b/c her speech has been affected. Mainly she thinks she is talking, her mouth is moving, but sound doesn't come out. It is like she has a mute button on. With a little speech work we expect this to go away (unless she gets overly excited it might occur). Anyhow she can say Ba for our kitty Bob and MehMeh for our dog Mackenzie. She doesn't have a lot of words honestly besides the usual (Mom, Dad, wawa, etc.); but for a princess she does have the most important vocabulary: bow, shoes and as of today PURSE!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Who is cuter: baby or puppy????

Welcome to the Death Match of the century!

In the left corner is a mixed breed Bichon-Frise/Yorkshire Terrier born of full bred AKC parents.

In the right corner is a very cute baby girl with naturally curly blonde hair, greyish green eyes, and is perfectly petite.

Lets take the two to a public place and see who gets the most compliments.

Today it was the Farmer's Market where I held Rachel's hand and Kenzie's leash. Dog 4 and baby girl 0. Seriously the little girl with a cute dress and big bow got no compliments but the dog got 4? Yes! One girl even stopped us to GUSH about how wonderfully cute our dog is... Chris wanted tell her "what about the babies"? He gets so mad when this happens! I think it is funny but quite perplexing. We all know Rachel (and my adorable boys) are 100x cuter than a dog, if someone misses that, well than too bad for them ;) Fact is though that our home is filled with some gorgeous girls of all ages and species.

Note: since Chris had the boys so they were not considered in today's experiment.

PS: Great Movie Recommendation
I didn't see any ads for this film called: Jumping the Broom, but I saw a good review for it. So today Chris and I went to the theatre and it was GREAT. The writing was so funny but still very meaningful. The acting was great. It is sort of a modern day Pride and Prejudice gone reverse celebrating the African-American culture. On a side note it had been 23 months since we had seen a movie in the theatre... that is sad!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Daddy's Little Girl!

I don't listen to country anymore. I did my senior year in high school and during my college years (I suspect everyone at UT Austin listens to it so I did). Tonight I was tired and just to brain dead to work, so I started listening to daughter themed songs. First I started with "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright. Than YouTube started suggesting all the country songs about daughters: "My Wish", "Stealing Cinderella", and "I loved Her First".

It just made me think so much about my daughter Rachel and growing up myself. I didn't have a lot of self-worth as a child (I was always the one teased for being different). As I got older and became more attractive I became more popular but I didn't really feel better about myself. In college and after living in Las Vegas I learned to be proud of myself and I learned my self worth. I try not to get schmaltzy about religion but I know it was my faith that helped. I think I didn't want to have a daughter originally b/c I didn't want her to go through what a lot of younger girls go through these days. The pressure to be thin, popular, perfect, etc. I think is more prevalent today than just 10-15 yrs ago when I was coming of age. Pink's video "F**ing Perfect" is any mother's worse nightmare but when you read about girls like Demi Lovato struggling with eating disorders and cutting I realize it isn't far from reality for some.

Watching those cheesy Daddy/Daughter videos gave me a little peace. My daughter will have one thing I really didn't have, a daddy who worships her. Chris loves all of his children. He was so thrilled Harm was a boy and I know he anxiously awaits for boy scout camp outs and father/son trips; but there is something special about his bond with Rachel! He just adores her and she just lights up when he comes into the room. I know he will always tell her how beautiful and wonderful she is. That she is a daughter of God. No boy will be good enough for his princess. He will be polishing his gun when the guys come in and will only give away her hand when she finds a truly worthy suitor.

I think the media sometimes minimizes the roles of dad's. Not having been too close to my father I didn't see why they were so important to be quite honest until recently (and I'm not minimizing the great things women do for their kids). I just think the world is pretty dang hard and a good father can provide a base of stability and love that helps their son's and their daughter's lives as they weather through those hard years. I'm so glad we have our little girl and I'm so glad she has her Daddy who thinks the world of her :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Counting, death threats, and best friends!


Our nanny Miriam was a mean horrible women: she wanted a 2 week vacation to go see Europe with her siblings. Okay she isn't horrible by any means and I actually really happy for her, but we miss her so much! I was so lucky b/c at the last minute we found a great temporary girl who is a college student and was only going to be in town for 3 wks before she started her Summer term at BYU. She is great but I've had to teach someone from scratch our very complicated routines. This upheaval has made me realize and appreciate a few things though!

First when I'm home I'm constantly going don't make me put you in time out: 5... 4... 3... 2... and he I never have to get to 1. The twins even understand counting means death. I don't know how but if I say "drop it" or "no" they ignore me but if they hear: 5... 4... they stop it right away. It is funny b/c I rarely have to follow through on a threat but when I do Miriam normally helps. I think she comes off as the good cop. I laugh though b/c she and now Brett each tell me the kids (and the pets) only listen to me. I didn't think I was mean but I guess I am!


The other thing I realized while training up our new girl was that I am so glad that we have all 3 of these kids so close in age. They love playing with one another. Especially Harmon loves making up games and the twins go along with it. Today he turned the couch into a school bus and the twins were his students. Other times today I noticed the three just LAUGHING and later at the park Harmon and Cally tried to sneak off to play with this water fountain. It was adorable. I miss the days when it was just Harm and I. I feel bad I don't spend time one on one with the kids like I used to spend time with him; but I think all of them are happier in a way b/c they have each other.

It is going to be a tough 2 weeks for everyone (Harm especially is struggling but everyone here misses Miriam), but I'm grateful to have a new perspective.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Being a "REAL" mother...

It is funny b/c when I was growing up and even post-college motherhood was never a big goal in my life. I never babysat growing up. I never wanted to hold other people's kids and I never got all sappy when I saw a new baby. My dreams were always different.

My Mother and I with Harmon

When I had my kids it wasn't any better. With Harmon especially... this 5 lb colicky, screaming, puking creature... I just wanted to put a sign on my front door saying "free infant to a good home". Oddly enough when he does things like break my IPhone or color my purse with permanent marker I've been tempted to put that sign once again on my front door.


The twins were a little bit easier in some ways and much harder in others. Suddenly I had two new blobs and they were intruding on this very close relationship I had with Harmon (who no longer was a blob but my dear sweet wonderful baby boy). Balancing Harmon and now the twins had more serious health needs (and again there were two of them) so all that "mothering" I had mastered was completely useless. Once again I felt like putting that sign on my door.


My sister playing with the boys

Through all of this though I've been surrounded by help. In Las Vegas I had a dear friend, Kim, who just really stepped in and helped me know I wasn't alone. My sister Eliza was always at our home just ready to help while my BFF Jaimie was alway ready to kidnap me for some baby-free fun. Many dear friends gave us great hand-me down stuff b/c things were really really tight cash wise.

When we moved here my mother stepped in and when I spent two months in the hospital she actually took over full time care for Harmon. Since than, new friends here in Las Cruces have put in a helping hand as has Chris' family. Than there is Miriam our nanny. She has cared for the kids since the twins were home for the hospital. She has become a dear friend and the kids love her more than anything (all 3 say her name all day long).

Grandma Hakes w/Cally

So today is Mother's Day and it has me led to me realizing that first off while mother-hood was never in the plans it truly has been the best thing ever. I really love my kids more than anything! My family is the best part of my life!!!

The other thing it had me remember is that being a mom doesn't really just mean you gave birth or adopted children. When we were in London, I had just been diagnosed with infertility and of course it was Mother's Day. In church the speaker mentioned that every women is a mother at heart. It made me feel better a little and than Chris told me that was boo hah and again I felt a touch mopey. Now though I realize that it is true. Many of my friends who I talk about on this blog who have helped me don't have kids; but they have a heart full of love. I guess tonight I wanted to give them a nod of appreciation. I wouldn't want to be a mom w/o these ladies by my side.

Miriam with the twins

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Bubonic Plague Strikes Again :(


At 2 am we heard a faint cry "Mommy... Daddy... I feel sick." Dad jumped into action b/c he knew what was going to happen and it did! VOMIT VOMIT EVERYWHERE :( Poor little Harmon. This is happening to us about once a month. I really am starting to worry. I want to talk with my pediatrician and see if we can go ahead and do further testing. I'm really worried this might be something bigger b/c the twins don't vomit like this and none of my friends vomit like this. Part of me wonders if it has to do with his Sensory Integration. I just hope we can figure out a way to stop it.

Anyhow today the only thing that would stop his vomiting was a medicine that cost $350. We have a family HSA so it wasn't the end of the world but if we didn't have it... wow. It is interesting about how out of control health care is these days.

Oh well, Harmon is feeling better thanks to his magical golden medicine. I buy toys my kids will love when I see a great sale and I keep them for birthdays or other special occasions. Today Harmon was so sick I brought out a new wooden Thomas Train for him. It was Gordon and when he saw it he cracked his first smile. I had a lot to do today before our nanny goes on vacation but none of it got done. Just seeing him smile and feeling better made everything well worth it today.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Truly awkward family photos!!!


I love taking family pictures b/c I have had my entire family in 20 months. These moments are going to go fast. I know our pictures are disgustingly cheesy! I would like to get nicer ones done for Christmas this year since we will only be doing this 2x a year but I don't think that will ease the amount of out-takes. So enjoy our gallery of true awkwardness ;p

The lobster begs... "take me to Red Lobster and put me out of my misery" while Sponge Bob is just soooo embarrassed to be in the picture.

"Oh crap, we really have twins!"

"I got you!"

"I am killer bunny out to eat you!"

"eek Mom you are dropping me!"

"Mom, she's touching me!"

Are we done yet??

Everyone needs an awkward wedding photo

Monday, May 2, 2011

Things are getting more painful...



I don't talk about my condition very often because I don't like being defined by it. If you know me in real life you know I walk like a defunct penguin and I get good parking b/c of it but I don't ever talk about why I am that way and how it affects me.

What I have is Rheumatoid Arthritis. I've had it since I was 11. One day after cheerleading tryouts I woke up and my knees had swollen to the sizes of cantaloupes. With in a few months I had trouble walking or holding things. That is why my hands are slightly deformed. They put me on a low dose chemotherapy called Methotrexate and that put me in remission after a year. It also caused me to lose a massive amount of weight (over 50 lbs and led to other health problems that almost did me in.

So I've been on a new type of medication for about 14 yrs now that blocks something called the Tumor Necrosis Factor. It is called Humira and I take the shot every couple of weeks. I've been doing pretty well but as time goes on my body is becoming more and more immune to it. This has meant damage to my joints. It is why I got my hip replaced last year and why I will need my other hip and my left knee replaced soon. Now while I'm caring for the kids or writing on my computer sometimes my feet or hands just lock. This is a sign things are getting a lot worse. We don't want them locking permanently!

That means soon I will need to make some serious care decisions. One will be to either go back on methotrexate or not and take the risks this medication leads to. Another will be to go on these daily injections to strengthen my bones. They are hard decisions b/c with each new medication that I introduce to my body the likely-hood of serious side-effects increase. I almost passed on when I had pancreatitis in college and so I understand that risk. But I also don't want to be disabled to the point where I can't actively play with my kids or live my life.

So that is where I am at. Not fun decisions. I probably will not talk about this again for a long time. Like I said, I don't like I don't like talking about this. I just felt like I should talk about it this once.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

The infamous pictures...

Just b/c I promised here are a few pictures of our new house. We are still not done by any means unpacking but we are getting settled in slowly. We are not even done building it quite yet. My goal is to have it cleaned by next week and fully unpacked.

The house is designed to be open floor concept with a loft feel in the living areas. We wanted it really open so I can keep an eye on the critters all the time.

(Front yard landscaping is still not finished...)
Here is the kitchen. The bar top off the island was designed to sit lower so that it can accommodate regular chairs which are safer for the kids. We are leaning towards making the back drop less reminiscent of a Zebra.

Here is the Master bath...
This is the living room...

So far my favorite decorated room is Rachel's. I rushed to finish it hoping my sister could visit... but she can't at this point :(

There is more house so if you want the extended tour you can see our picture blog: link.