Thursday, December 26, 2013

How did the Holidays go so quickly????

I guess this year it has been hard with the holidays and everything to be as enthusiastic as I normally am.  My mother used to call me "Holiday" because I have always had a childlike enthusiasm and light about the holidays.

These last few months have been a big time of change for me and I guess I am still trying to rekindle my happy light that has been squelched by exhaustion.  While in some ways I felt like I was going through the motions,  I am grateful for my kids though because they made things so much fun!! We did have some beautiful memories and here are all the pictures from Corn Maze to Christmas Day!
Hopefully by next year I'll have my holiday spirit back!  Oh I haven't mailed out the Christmas cards either :p  They are coming... hopefully before June!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Real Men Wear Tights!

On Sunday the kids and I were heading to church in El Paso.  The LDS church has a choir show for Christmas every year and my mother enjoys it.  In the car I broached the idea of Harmon doing a jazz class and he scoffed at me.  "Mommy, only girls dance".  Oh no he didn't!!!  So that is how 5 hours later he ended up here...


It just happened to be the Russian Ballet was in El Paso and so after church I took my mommy and the kids to the Plaza and we all attended the ballet.  It wasn't just Harm's comment that made me so impulsive.  Because of my father's stroke my mother hardly gets out of the house and it had been decades since she had been to the rest theater.  At the box office I shared with the lady why we were attending so last minute (it was just starting when I got there to buy tickets) and so she discounted the tickets for us and got us unsold orchestra tickets.

To be honest the kids struggled a little during the second half but they did wonderfully.  I remember as a child my parents used to take me just like I took them and I used to get a little anxious too.  Still they loved the show!  My mother got out of the house for something very special and my boys learned male dancing is "AWESOME" (as quoted by Harmon).

The best part of it though was after the show we met a lot of the cast and they all asked little Rachey if she was going to be Clara one day.  She said "No, I want to be the Rat King!"

Friday, December 20, 2013

"I don't wanna go to Heaven if I can't get in..."

This morning I was listening to my usual picks on my iPhone while I was wrapping gifts and organizing paper work.  I had been thinking about a song by OAR called "Heaven" and Callum asked me why I wouldn't want to go to Heaven and I tried to explain to him that my interpretation of the song is that I don't want to go to Heaven if it is someone else's cliquey place like it is some social club only certain people will go too.  Needless to say I had a very stumped four year old and so I changed the subject quickly...


I'm sure this is the first of hundreds of these conversations with my kids.  It came to mind more today with the whole Duck Dynasty thing and a random recent conversation.   I was talking to a friend and we were talking about what school we were going to next, I mentioned one place and I got the look.  She was concerned the whole Mormon thing, though the Jewish thing would probably be okay.  We talked and I don't think that will be a big deal but it did remind me of what I went through as a child.

My family was interfaith jumble, and dramatically different cultures as well.  My mother was Puerto Rican, born right in Old San Juan.  My father was raised in a small town in Texas with like maybe a hundred and fifty other people it seemed like.  Both places are very beautiful filled with beautiful people.  My paternal grandmother and grandfather did not attend my parents wedding because she was Hispanic.  When I was born I was given my Maternal Grandmother's name (my 1/2 sister carries my Paternal Grandma's name) and because of that as a small child I was really hated by my maternal grandmother.  It got so nasty that my mother and father couldn't leave me with her for 5 minutes alone.  I still have nightmares.  That was the first time I realized what it was like to be hated for something you never did wrong.


I went to private school, including a parochial one.  Even though I was not of that faith most everyone didn't care.  I loved learning their faith and I loved my own faith.  My parents always wanted me to be the ultimate person to decide faith.  It was loving people like this old Episcopalian priest who knew I was pretty much Jewish at that point but still encouraged me to take full part in everything and have faith in God.  I am grateful for the school my kids attend right now.  Everyone jokes about my kids being the spice in the school as the little Jewish Mormons.  Everyone always been so supportive of me as well there knowing what we all went through in the last year.  They are true Christians in my book.

Eventually my kids are going to see the other side of the world I so fiercely block for them.  Chris worries a lot about my occasional cussing slip but I worry more about the first time they are told they are not going to Heaven or the first time they learn of events like the Holocaust.  I have been so blessed to be surrounded by such great diverse friends in my life who love me for who I am and so when I see the world so divisive it breaks my heart.  I am not condemning anyone, my husband loves Duck Dynasty and I think the DD family is neat in many ways.  I understand that with the Robertson father, in his heart those are his beliefs, but they are not mine.  We need to start becoming a people who loves first and condemns last in my opinion.  Faith, culture, religion, are wonderful things when celebrated but not used as a weapon.


When I was younger I wanted to change the world but the world is not black and white.  Art Spiegalman's Mause was criticized because of the simplicity.  The innocents were mice and the evil ones were cats.  The world isn't that way and changing the world for better is not so simple.  One thing I am doing is looking more into my heart trying to take a hard look at who I am.  There is always personal room for improvement.  I can't change the world but I can affect my sphere of influence, which is namely my kids.  I want them to learn to love people and to stand up for good even when it is difficult.

I met one of my heroes recently.  Her name is Mimi Gladstein and she is just an amazing women.  One of the neatest things she has done, is choosing the quotes for the wall of tolerance at the El Paso Holocaust Museum  They are amazing and the words I will just continue to try to live by the rest of my life.  They are why I felt like I wanted to say something tonight.



Saturday, December 14, 2013

Bigger, wiser, kinder, and stronger...

How do you handle it when time becomes your biggest enemy?  That is how I feel these days.  I love my children so much but it is hard to see how quickly they are growing up.  As they grow we face new challenges.  About 3 years ago my biggest challenges was potty training, temper tantrums, bottles, and finding pacifiers.  Those days are over.  Now our problems are just as challenging but very different.


Bickering:  I am ready to put the sign on the front door and say "Twins for sale $1 OBO".  They are finally having a major sibling rivalry.  Its like if Cally picks a fruit by the foot and Rachel picks a fruit roll up than Callum gets angry and Rachel and demands I give him a fruit roll up.  Harm is above the fray these days and has turned into my mini peacemaker.  Thank Heavens!!!  Now I just need to help my Twinkies through this before I lose my mind.

"OH THE DRAMA!!!":  I blame myself for this in part because I have theater degree after all but I think Harmon gets this from Chris because he is the man in the family and the boys are the ones picking the habit.  Harmon gets so upset if I tell him he has to wait to watch a movie or delay going somewhere because something came up.  He will scream: "Just be honest I'm never going to ever get to do it" and than he slams his bedroom door and locks it.  Callum is starting to do the same thing.  Note to self, the locks are going next house.    


Drama Part 2:  Now Rachey is funniest.  She gets a slight scrape and she acts like the lady in the theme song from Mystery going oh no while waving a scarf.  The worst is chores.  This I blame on myself.  My father raised me to be a princess so I never did chores growing up.  I think I coddle Rachel too much so I need to work on that because now the slightest chore elicits fainting spells.

Peer Pressure:  The hardest thing I have had to contend with is explaining to the kids that just because they have a friend who watches something or acts a certain way that doesn't mean they get too.  I know I am strict mom but I think that being strict with things like entertainment, manners, honesty, chores, etc. are very important.  I feel bad being hard on them when they have friends with their own iPads and gaming systems.  They get to do a lot of that, like when we are at appointments the boys play Angry Birds and Rachel loves Strawberry Shortcake.  I'm trying to teach them to stand up against peer pressure but also be more understanding that the kids are not gonna grow up like I did making mud pies in the back yard all day!


When I first was pregnant I stalked message boards and read a ton of books.  The best thing I ever was taught was when my kids and were in early intervention and our wonderful family counselor Deryl taught me about the "Circle of Security" in a six week parenting course.  It taught the following:
  • Always be: Bigger, wiser, kinder, and stronger.  
  • When possible: follow my children's needs.  
  • Whenever necessary: be ready to take charge.  As challenging as parenting gets I try to remember what I learned in this course and apply the principals.  
Hopefully I will end up with well adjusted great adults who can take care of their mother who they drove crazy.

Can you hear me now???

For those who have kept track of our baby Cally and his random Brooklyn accent we have some new updates.  It has been frustrating because we have had so many diagnoses and half of them have been down right false.

So Chris decided that we should try one last suggestion to improve his hearing loss which has always been between 30% and 40% since he was an infant.  It was a simple idea so I was very supportive.  We got tubes placed in his ears.  It wasn't a big deal.  We would have done it sooner but to be honest he never had an ear infection so it seemed silly.  He did have some fluid though and now it is gone.

So there is nothing left to do but wait.  So far his speech is not different at all but we keep hoping it will improve as he continues speech therapy.  If not I do worry a lot because we are out of options besides leaving it alone and getting hearing aids.  He will have another hearing screening in April and than we will know where we stand.  Chris' concern is teasing and I'm already seeing kids tease him a lot.  I'm grateful he hasn't caught on yet.  I worry how much he loves music.  The world is a wonderful place to hear things and I don't want him missing out. We are still hoping the easiest solution ends up being the right one!

Ghost Hunters and Cursed Homes...

One of our favorite sales staff is a character.  He once proposed us getting ghost hunting meters so people could see if the resale home they were buying was haunted and perhaps that would motivate them to get a new construction home.  Easy to say that marketing gimmick never came fully too fruition.  I learned through experiences ghosts are not a worry but cursed properties are.


Since moving to Mesilla we have had problems with everything in my cute little blue home.  The septic tank started coming up through the back yard.  All the appliances except the dishwasher needed replacing.  The plumbing is finicky.  There is no heat in the master bath and we had HVAC issues with the swamp cooler all summer.  The final straw we joke was when our cat learned how to open the front door a month ago and a half ago.  It was time to move and this time we are building because I have never ever appreciated a home warranty more than I do now.


So as of Thursday we signed the final documents and we now own an acre of land here in Mesilla.  I'm happy to have heat next winter and better air conditioning this Summer.  For those who keep count this will be our fifth home in Las Cruces and our third build.  It is going to be the eighth home for Chris and I since we married seven years ago...  The kids keep making me promise we will live here forever but honestly I think forever is not gonna happen.  So I'm promising them five years!

It is hard to admit I kind of failed into making this home more of a home.  We still haven't unpacked 2/3rds of our stuff and only painted half.  I am proud of myself that I did do this house on my own and that is the first time I have ever done that with out someone like my sister or Chris helping me each step.  With 3 kids that was a hard point for me but I did it and we are leaving the home in May better than when we came.  So it isn't a failure as much as a life lesson.


I'm already having fun working with our wonderful trades and vendors in designing this home. Many of them have been long time dear working friends and everyone is rooting this will be the house we stay in.  I sure am!  As for the next home I don't mind any ghostly visitors but I can say I'm glad it won't be cursed and if it, it will all be covered by warranties!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Real Role models...

As an avid reader of TMZ, it never ceases to amaze me how difficult it is to find real role models for children.  The people my husband and I think are pretty cool like Steve Nash or Katy Perry either have ended up being punks or in my case they just really not PG rated.  The good thing in our life is that my children have real life heroes!  Young adults who are really amazing doing good things with their lives and loving my kids :)  This blog is a thank you them...

Little Miss Jackie

This girl is a super hero in her own right, perfect person to be teaching my little super hero.  Miss Jackie is currently a pre-veterinarian science undergraduate doing research at NMSU.  Amazing!  She also works another job while going to school full time.  She used to be the main teacher at Gym Magic for dance but she had to find time to sleep.  She teaches one class just because she loves it and I love her for it.  I don't know how I will take it (or especially Rachel will take it) when she goes off to graduate school.  When I talk about role models for my daughter I think a lot about her because she is not just insanely beautiful but just as smart and so hard working!

Our Mr. Austin

I remember watching Austin our first week at Gym Magic.  I thought wow, that guy is a bowl of fun.  Than later in the year I went to go see Rocky Horror Picture Show at NMSU and I thought gee that guy playing Rocky is a fantastic dancer and gymnast.  Well come January, I realized Austin was our Rocky.  He began teaching Harmon and his enthusiasm was electric for Harmon.  I have talked a lot about he was really the first person to really motivate and encourage Harmon to reach for the stars.  The day he told me that he was leaving so he could focus more on theater was so sad but I was so proud of him for going for his dreams.  I look forward to telling people one day... "I knew him when..."  I know he misses us and we miss him every time we are at the gym and he isn't around.  He he gave my son a gift that will be more precious than words.

Our Sister Missionary Chelsea

I met Chelsea about 4.5 years ago.   It was when we moved to Sonoma and changed congregations.  At the time I was 4 months pregnant with the twins and Harm was really struggling.  Chelsea saw that and even though she was this little freshman she pegged us in need of a helping hand.  Thanks to her I was able to get Harmon used to a new church.  She is the first young lady we ever trusted to babysit the twins and she is someone as a freshman in college helped care for the kids when I had a night class.  Since than we have met many other wonderful young ladies who have helped babysit or helped at church.  Still Chelsea stands among them all in my heart.  I remember the day she told me she had decided to serve an LDS mission, I cried.  Not just because I knew what a great experience it would be for her but because I know she will change so many people's lives!  This is a girl who is destined to change the world one person at a time.  She did so a little teen, she is doing so now, and I have no doubt she will do so the rest of her life.


I wish I had more time to write about everyone.  There are just too many and I am too tired.  At the gym we have David who is this awesome 16 year old teaching Harm now, Cassie Rachy's other dance teacher, Rachey's gym teacher Laura, Cally's girlfriends at the gym: Jordin, Stephanie, and the wonderful Katrina!  Rachel's swim teacher Enrique.  The list goes on...  All amazing!   Each have inspired my children, helped them achieve, supported them, or helped them dream bigger.  I'm grateful I don't have to worry about Miley Cyrus when my kids are busy looking up to these guys!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

A simple man with simple pleasures!!!

Callum has two crazy parents and two crazy siblings.  I always laugh at how somehow Callum seems to be above it all.  He is our peacemaker.  He very rarely gets all riled up and when it does he does it is sort of funny and so I laugh and that gets him more angry.    Thank goodness those times are rare.  Mainly he just has that deep belly laugh that never stops and the man LOVES penguins, bunnies, and pandas.


This year Callum didn't like all day school.  So I agreed to let him spend half days with me but he knew I would have to work.  For the most part he has been such a trooper.  He just plays while I work.  Yesterday was his first day to really act up and I couldn't do anything with him.  He told me today it wasn't his fault, he was an evil samurai penguin.  Today though the happy penguin was back and I got plenty done.  I really am glad to have him around.  It is special for me to have this time together.  The fact is that we are planning on redshirting the twins and there is no hurry to grow up.


Callum just finished his first soccer season this weekend.  It is was awesome to see how much fun he had.  He truly loved every bit of it :)  His favorite part was his trophy.  He is also obsessed these days with basketball.  He can't throw high enough for the hoop so he gets on a chair and throws hoops from there.  He is getting more into art and gym though which have never been his thing.  I'm proud to see him challenging himself!

I feel bad for him because he gets teased a lot for his Brooklyn accent.  I think it is cute but other kids are starting to mock him.  We are probably going to have tubes put in his ears and if that improves his hearing.  He doesn't look to have fluid but he has hearing loss and so this is the first step in trying to see if that improves his hearing loss.  If not we will go from there.  We are also going to have him surgically checked at that time to see his palette up close.  We still don't know why it doesn't close consistently when speaking and eating.  He has been in speech therapy for a year now and it is all still the same.  I will miss his cute talking though.


We have a ton of fun singing in the car.  He still LOVES everything music.  He will get mad at me now if I change the radio station on a song he likes.  It amazes me how he knows the lyrics to everything.  He doesn't sing loud but his voice is so cute as he quietly sings his songs.  I'm taking him to see the Trans-Siberian orchestra with my mom next month.  I can't wait!!  We loved watching the special on the Hallmark channel last year.  He was the only one who could sit through it time and time again.

 He hopes to be a rock star magician one day.  I see him as a future pediatrician or a music teacher.  He has such a gentle spirit and a sharp mind.  I think whatever he does he will be great!  I treasure this special time with him that I get these days.

Running away and joining the circus!

In this blog I know I have referenced in the past the phrase "I'm going to runaway and join the circus."  Well now after our trip to Vegas the kids are now planning on following me!


One of the biggest treats this trip was my sister and her wonderful boyfriend Jason putting together two magical experiences for the babies: Circus Vargas and The V Show.  I remember seeing my first show in Las Vegas years and years ago, it was a show Eliza was working on at the time, and I was just star struck.  That is how the kids were!



The V Show was extra special because one of the featured performers was Jason.  Callum was just mystified by all of it.  He wants to grow up and be just like Jason, but with rockstar hair (his words not mine).  Jason and all of his fellow counterparts were very neat and some of the best I had ever seen.  The best critics though were the boys (Rachel slept through the whole thing)!  They couldn't stop talking about the birds and how neat Uncle Jason is!!!



Jason also was so very kind by getting us tickets to Circus Vargas.  That was mind-blowing.  They are a no animal circus.  Instead they focus, much like Cirque du Soilel, on mind blowing human feats of art.  They had a little of everything and it was so neat!!!  Rachel and Harmon especially were so affected by it.  They are my two who are going to run off and join the circus.  They wanted to go and try the acrobatics on their own (which I have vetoed).

The arts have always been instrumental in my own life.  Everything I do I try to make it artistic (which of course never impressed accounting when I had to turn in quarterly budgets).  It makes me happy to see how amazed my kids are with art now.  Each has their own unique talents and they may not end up going into magic or cirque performance their lives will be enriched as they learn to appreciate the stage and work on their craft while they are young.  This trip they got to see how dreams can come true when you put your heart into something.

Lost Vegas...

It is always painful for me in a way to think about Las Vegas.  It has been five years, and while I love the beautiful people in my life now, I still really miss home.  That is why this year I have made the conscious decision to come back and visit Vegas a couple times each year.

The kids love it too.  Harmon is all proud because he is a native Nevadan and constantly asks me when we will go home and move back.  My sister would love that and so would my bestie Jaimie.  They made everything so nice during our trip. When it was time to leave I just cried, especially hugging Jaimie goodbye b/c I knew that it would be a while till I saw her again.



Jaimie is my kindred twin.  I am very shy but when I met her it just felt like we were sisters in another life.  We have been totally inseparable since 2004.  The sad part about it though is that because of fate we hadn't been able to see see each other in ages.  Seeing her was just awesomeness!


Eliza is my big sister by six years and she has taught me so much.  She is solely responsible for me becoming more of a lady.  I was such a tomboy when I moved to Vegas, I never even shaved and wore guy clothes.  She opened a lot of doors for me and because of her I was really able to find myself.  It is funny because we have an odd symbiotic relationship where we sort of complete each other.  Always been yin and yang.  She loves the babies so much.  Especially Harm!  She was the first one to hold him before Chris and I.  Each one is special to her.  Rachel's has her middle name, Snow, in honor of my sweet sister.  They are so alike also, baby blonde bombshells!


When I go home it is bittersweet.  We visited that should have been ours, but than Chris got laid off before it was finished and so we had to walk away from our contract.  Also I miss some of the small things that I just loved and is no more.  When I used to live there my favorite place to eat was a small Puerto Rican restaurant called "El Coqui" that always reminded me of home.  There used to be a lot of nice lounge clubs like Zaks at the Golden Nugget that celebrated the old Frank like spirit that made Vegas, Las Vegas.  The first night clubs I used to go like: Light, Studio 54, Tangerine, and RumJungle are all gone.  Even my old radio station that gave me my love for quirky alternative music is now just another pop station.  A lot of the live magic shows and stage shows are gone as well.

What is still there though are wonderful people.  I was so sad I didn't have time to visit anyone it felt like :(  Next trip I want to go take the kids where we were married.  I want them to meet many other dear friends of mine.  So the only solution of course is going back real soon!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Here comes Mighty Mouse!

There is not a day that goes by that I am not totally proud of my Rachel.  I just laugh when I think about doctors who said how limited she might be when we were told she has Cerebral Palsy.  Yup, they didn't know who they were diagnosing...


This year having exited much of the private services for gross motor and fine motor has gone very well.  We made a good decision.  She will be evaluated by Carrie Tingly Hospital soon again to make sure she is not heel walking with her right foot.  If she is she might need to go back into an orthotic but honestly even that I think might be too invasive.  I kick myself almost everyday when I limited her future thinking how this diagnoses would limit her.  Now I'm realizing instead of worrying so much about doing everything possible, just letting Rachey be Rachey is sort of all she needs.


We don't treat her at all differently than we do the boys except that her Special Ed teacher has instructed us to use a stroller during long activities.  Yup, that doesn't go too well with the boys.  Rachel assumes it is just princess treatment.  We also try to make sure she still gets a two hour nap because she needs more sleep than the boys.  It is when she is tired that she will start too wobble and get hurt.




No super hero story of course would be complete though without seeing her super powers.  While she does not do sports at this time she does do 2 classes of gym and 2 classes of dance a week.  She is just always charming everyone.  They call her the little performer for a reason.   I'm amazed by the sheer strength of her little body.   My favorite is her dance though, because she is just too cute!

Belated Birthday...

So yes my twins turned four.  I was typing tow and it really was four.  That is how strange it is.  I don't really understand how my babies are no longer my little babies anymore.  Poor little guys, their party got delayed 3 times.  They didn't believe me when we were driving up the the Aquatic Center and it was their little birthday.  It was super fun!  Here are the memories!

















Over scheduled!!!

I read a quote tonight that stated "you can do anything, you just can't do everything".  Oy, so true!  My kids and I are over scheduled.  Anyone who knows me, I'm always running around like a chicken with my head cut off but I fear I am spawning a whole new generation of chickens.


I realized this on Friday night.  I was taking Harm to two back to back gym classes.  We were talking how tomorrow is going to be his last soccer game.  That is when he informed me that there would only be a short break and than soccer will be starting again along with t-ball.  I tried to explain to him that since he is in gymnastics he is not going to be doing spring soccer.  He corrected me.  He told me his coach has decided to do both sports and they will schedule around his gym lessons.


I feel bad pushing him to choose.  I still haven't decided if I will hold firm on his either soccer or t-ball because he really wants to do all three.   Still we have Rachel in 4 hours of dance and gym.  Harm has 3 hours of gym.  Callum has 1 hour of gym.  Soccer was taking up 2 practices and one game per week.  So when the dust settled this fall we have really only had one family night, on Tuesday.  My kids may not be tired but I sure am :(

Sunday, November 10, 2013

My creepy kitty...

I had to share this story simply because I think it is really funny.  This Halloween each of my kids proved how brave they were.  Nothing scared them!!!  We would go too Spirit, the Halloween store, and nothing would shake them (even the giant spider that would jump out at them).  A few days after Halloween Harmon came to me and confessed, there is indeed something that scares him big time... and his name is Henry.


Often at night Henry sneaks out and comes back in time for his supper.  Well I guess Harm is mortified of him because Harm now doesn't want to take the trash out at night.   He told me he has nightmares.  I suspect this might be his way of getting out of one of his nightly chores but Harm swears he is scared of that cat.

Of course if anyone should be scared of that cat it is Chris.  I got him this book recently and the signs are there...


In other cat news Bob got really sick with an eye infection during the Summer.  Well 4 months later he is now doing good.   You never realize how lucky you are to have a little pet in your life till you almost lose him.  I swore I never would spend the money I spent to save that eye but losing Bob was not an option.  It is good to have my kitty pretty back.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

How did the Holidays go so quickly????

I guess this year it has been hard with the holidays and everything to be as enthusiastic as I normally am.  My mother used to call me "Holiday" because I have always had a childlike enthusiasm and light about the holidays.

These last few months have been a big time of change for me and I guess I am still trying to rekindle my happy light that has been squelched by exhaustion.  While in some ways I felt like I was going through the motions,  I am grateful for my kids though because they made things so much fun!! We did have some beautiful memories and here are all the pictures from Corn Maze to Christmas Day!
Hopefully by next year I'll have my holiday spirit back!  Oh I haven't mailed out the Christmas cards either :p  They are coming... hopefully before June!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Real Men Wear Tights!

On Sunday the kids and I were heading to church in El Paso.  The LDS church has a choir show for Christmas every year and my mother enjoys it.  In the car I broached the idea of Harmon doing a jazz class and he scoffed at me.  "Mommy, only girls dance".  Oh no he didn't!!!  So that is how 5 hours later he ended up here...


It just happened to be the Russian Ballet was in El Paso and so after church I took my mommy and the kids to the Plaza and we all attended the ballet.  It wasn't just Harm's comment that made me so impulsive.  Because of my father's stroke my mother hardly gets out of the house and it had been decades since she had been to the rest theater.  At the box office I shared with the lady why we were attending so last minute (it was just starting when I got there to buy tickets) and so she discounted the tickets for us and got us unsold orchestra tickets.

To be honest the kids struggled a little during the second half but they did wonderfully.  I remember as a child my parents used to take me just like I took them and I used to get a little anxious too.  Still they loved the show!  My mother got out of the house for something very special and my boys learned male dancing is "AWESOME" (as quoted by Harmon).

The best part of it though was after the show we met a lot of the cast and they all asked little Rachey if she was going to be Clara one day.  She said "No, I want to be the Rat King!"

Friday, December 20, 2013

"I don't wanna go to Heaven if I can't get in..."

This morning I was listening to my usual picks on my iPhone while I was wrapping gifts and organizing paper work.  I had been thinking about a song by OAR called "Heaven" and Callum asked me why I wouldn't want to go to Heaven and I tried to explain to him that my interpretation of the song is that I don't want to go to Heaven if it is someone else's cliquey place like it is some social club only certain people will go too.  Needless to say I had a very stumped four year old and so I changed the subject quickly...


I'm sure this is the first of hundreds of these conversations with my kids.  It came to mind more today with the whole Duck Dynasty thing and a random recent conversation.   I was talking to a friend and we were talking about what school we were going to next, I mentioned one place and I got the look.  She was concerned the whole Mormon thing, though the Jewish thing would probably be okay.  We talked and I don't think that will be a big deal but it did remind me of what I went through as a child.

My family was interfaith jumble, and dramatically different cultures as well.  My mother was Puerto Rican, born right in Old San Juan.  My father was raised in a small town in Texas with like maybe a hundred and fifty other people it seemed like.  Both places are very beautiful filled with beautiful people.  My paternal grandmother and grandfather did not attend my parents wedding because she was Hispanic.  When I was born I was given my Maternal Grandmother's name (my 1/2 sister carries my Paternal Grandma's name) and because of that as a small child I was really hated by my maternal grandmother.  It got so nasty that my mother and father couldn't leave me with her for 5 minutes alone.  I still have nightmares.  That was the first time I realized what it was like to be hated for something you never did wrong.


I went to private school, including a parochial one.  Even though I was not of that faith most everyone didn't care.  I loved learning their faith and I loved my own faith.  My parents always wanted me to be the ultimate person to decide faith.  It was loving people like this old Episcopalian priest who knew I was pretty much Jewish at that point but still encouraged me to take full part in everything and have faith in God.  I am grateful for the school my kids attend right now.  Everyone jokes about my kids being the spice in the school as the little Jewish Mormons.  Everyone always been so supportive of me as well there knowing what we all went through in the last year.  They are true Christians in my book.

Eventually my kids are going to see the other side of the world I so fiercely block for them.  Chris worries a lot about my occasional cussing slip but I worry more about the first time they are told they are not going to Heaven or the first time they learn of events like the Holocaust.  I have been so blessed to be surrounded by such great diverse friends in my life who love me for who I am and so when I see the world so divisive it breaks my heart.  I am not condemning anyone, my husband loves Duck Dynasty and I think the DD family is neat in many ways.  I understand that with the Robertson father, in his heart those are his beliefs, but they are not mine.  We need to start becoming a people who loves first and condemns last in my opinion.  Faith, culture, religion, are wonderful things when celebrated but not used as a weapon.


When I was younger I wanted to change the world but the world is not black and white.  Art Spiegalman's Mause was criticized because of the simplicity.  The innocents were mice and the evil ones were cats.  The world isn't that way and changing the world for better is not so simple.  One thing I am doing is looking more into my heart trying to take a hard look at who I am.  There is always personal room for improvement.  I can't change the world but I can affect my sphere of influence, which is namely my kids.  I want them to learn to love people and to stand up for good even when it is difficult.

I met one of my heroes recently.  Her name is Mimi Gladstein and she is just an amazing women.  One of the neatest things she has done, is choosing the quotes for the wall of tolerance at the El Paso Holocaust Museum  They are amazing and the words I will just continue to try to live by the rest of my life.  They are why I felt like I wanted to say something tonight.



Saturday, December 14, 2013

Bigger, wiser, kinder, and stronger...

How do you handle it when time becomes your biggest enemy?  That is how I feel these days.  I love my children so much but it is hard to see how quickly they are growing up.  As they grow we face new challenges.  About 3 years ago my biggest challenges was potty training, temper tantrums, bottles, and finding pacifiers.  Those days are over.  Now our problems are just as challenging but very different.


Bickering:  I am ready to put the sign on the front door and say "Twins for sale $1 OBO".  They are finally having a major sibling rivalry.  Its like if Cally picks a fruit by the foot and Rachel picks a fruit roll up than Callum gets angry and Rachel and demands I give him a fruit roll up.  Harm is above the fray these days and has turned into my mini peacemaker.  Thank Heavens!!!  Now I just need to help my Twinkies through this before I lose my mind.

"OH THE DRAMA!!!":  I blame myself for this in part because I have theater degree after all but I think Harmon gets this from Chris because he is the man in the family and the boys are the ones picking the habit.  Harmon gets so upset if I tell him he has to wait to watch a movie or delay going somewhere because something came up.  He will scream: "Just be honest I'm never going to ever get to do it" and than he slams his bedroom door and locks it.  Callum is starting to do the same thing.  Note to self, the locks are going next house.    


Drama Part 2:  Now Rachey is funniest.  She gets a slight scrape and she acts like the lady in the theme song from Mystery going oh no while waving a scarf.  The worst is chores.  This I blame on myself.  My father raised me to be a princess so I never did chores growing up.  I think I coddle Rachel too much so I need to work on that because now the slightest chore elicits fainting spells.

Peer Pressure:  The hardest thing I have had to contend with is explaining to the kids that just because they have a friend who watches something or acts a certain way that doesn't mean they get too.  I know I am strict mom but I think that being strict with things like entertainment, manners, honesty, chores, etc. are very important.  I feel bad being hard on them when they have friends with their own iPads and gaming systems.  They get to do a lot of that, like when we are at appointments the boys play Angry Birds and Rachel loves Strawberry Shortcake.  I'm trying to teach them to stand up against peer pressure but also be more understanding that the kids are not gonna grow up like I did making mud pies in the back yard all day!


When I first was pregnant I stalked message boards and read a ton of books.  The best thing I ever was taught was when my kids and were in early intervention and our wonderful family counselor Deryl taught me about the "Circle of Security" in a six week parenting course.  It taught the following:
  • Always be: Bigger, wiser, kinder, and stronger.  
  • When possible: follow my children's needs.  
  • Whenever necessary: be ready to take charge.  As challenging as parenting gets I try to remember what I learned in this course and apply the principals.  
Hopefully I will end up with well adjusted great adults who can take care of their mother who they drove crazy.

Can you hear me now???

For those who have kept track of our baby Cally and his random Brooklyn accent we have some new updates.  It has been frustrating because we have had so many diagnoses and half of them have been down right false.

So Chris decided that we should try one last suggestion to improve his hearing loss which has always been between 30% and 40% since he was an infant.  It was a simple idea so I was very supportive.  We got tubes placed in his ears.  It wasn't a big deal.  We would have done it sooner but to be honest he never had an ear infection so it seemed silly.  He did have some fluid though and now it is gone.

So there is nothing left to do but wait.  So far his speech is not different at all but we keep hoping it will improve as he continues speech therapy.  If not I do worry a lot because we are out of options besides leaving it alone and getting hearing aids.  He will have another hearing screening in April and than we will know where we stand.  Chris' concern is teasing and I'm already seeing kids tease him a lot.  I'm grateful he hasn't caught on yet.  I worry how much he loves music.  The world is a wonderful place to hear things and I don't want him missing out. We are still hoping the easiest solution ends up being the right one!

Ghost Hunters and Cursed Homes...

One of our favorite sales staff is a character.  He once proposed us getting ghost hunting meters so people could see if the resale home they were buying was haunted and perhaps that would motivate them to get a new construction home.  Easy to say that marketing gimmick never came fully too fruition.  I learned through experiences ghosts are not a worry but cursed properties are.


Since moving to Mesilla we have had problems with everything in my cute little blue home.  The septic tank started coming up through the back yard.  All the appliances except the dishwasher needed replacing.  The plumbing is finicky.  There is no heat in the master bath and we had HVAC issues with the swamp cooler all summer.  The final straw we joke was when our cat learned how to open the front door a month ago and a half ago.  It was time to move and this time we are building because I have never ever appreciated a home warranty more than I do now.


So as of Thursday we signed the final documents and we now own an acre of land here in Mesilla.  I'm happy to have heat next winter and better air conditioning this Summer.  For those who keep count this will be our fifth home in Las Cruces and our third build.  It is going to be the eighth home for Chris and I since we married seven years ago...  The kids keep making me promise we will live here forever but honestly I think forever is not gonna happen.  So I'm promising them five years!

It is hard to admit I kind of failed into making this home more of a home.  We still haven't unpacked 2/3rds of our stuff and only painted half.  I am proud of myself that I did do this house on my own and that is the first time I have ever done that with out someone like my sister or Chris helping me each step.  With 3 kids that was a hard point for me but I did it and we are leaving the home in May better than when we came.  So it isn't a failure as much as a life lesson.


I'm already having fun working with our wonderful trades and vendors in designing this home. Many of them have been long time dear working friends and everyone is rooting this will be the house we stay in.  I sure am!  As for the next home I don't mind any ghostly visitors but I can say I'm glad it won't be cursed and if it, it will all be covered by warranties!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Real Role models...

As an avid reader of TMZ, it never ceases to amaze me how difficult it is to find real role models for children.  The people my husband and I think are pretty cool like Steve Nash or Katy Perry either have ended up being punks or in my case they just really not PG rated.  The good thing in our life is that my children have real life heroes!  Young adults who are really amazing doing good things with their lives and loving my kids :)  This blog is a thank you them...

Little Miss Jackie

This girl is a super hero in her own right, perfect person to be teaching my little super hero.  Miss Jackie is currently a pre-veterinarian science undergraduate doing research at NMSU.  Amazing!  She also works another job while going to school full time.  She used to be the main teacher at Gym Magic for dance but she had to find time to sleep.  She teaches one class just because she loves it and I love her for it.  I don't know how I will take it (or especially Rachel will take it) when she goes off to graduate school.  When I talk about role models for my daughter I think a lot about her because she is not just insanely beautiful but just as smart and so hard working!

Our Mr. Austin

I remember watching Austin our first week at Gym Magic.  I thought wow, that guy is a bowl of fun.  Than later in the year I went to go see Rocky Horror Picture Show at NMSU and I thought gee that guy playing Rocky is a fantastic dancer and gymnast.  Well come January, I realized Austin was our Rocky.  He began teaching Harmon and his enthusiasm was electric for Harmon.  I have talked a lot about he was really the first person to really motivate and encourage Harmon to reach for the stars.  The day he told me that he was leaving so he could focus more on theater was so sad but I was so proud of him for going for his dreams.  I look forward to telling people one day... "I knew him when..."  I know he misses us and we miss him every time we are at the gym and he isn't around.  He he gave my son a gift that will be more precious than words.

Our Sister Missionary Chelsea

I met Chelsea about 4.5 years ago.   It was when we moved to Sonoma and changed congregations.  At the time I was 4 months pregnant with the twins and Harm was really struggling.  Chelsea saw that and even though she was this little freshman she pegged us in need of a helping hand.  Thanks to her I was able to get Harmon used to a new church.  She is the first young lady we ever trusted to babysit the twins and she is someone as a freshman in college helped care for the kids when I had a night class.  Since than we have met many other wonderful young ladies who have helped babysit or helped at church.  Still Chelsea stands among them all in my heart.  I remember the day she told me she had decided to serve an LDS mission, I cried.  Not just because I knew what a great experience it would be for her but because I know she will change so many people's lives!  This is a girl who is destined to change the world one person at a time.  She did so a little teen, she is doing so now, and I have no doubt she will do so the rest of her life.


I wish I had more time to write about everyone.  There are just too many and I am too tired.  At the gym we have David who is this awesome 16 year old teaching Harm now, Cassie Rachy's other dance teacher, Rachey's gym teacher Laura, Cally's girlfriends at the gym: Jordin, Stephanie, and the wonderful Katrina!  Rachel's swim teacher Enrique.  The list goes on...  All amazing!   Each have inspired my children, helped them achieve, supported them, or helped them dream bigger.  I'm grateful I don't have to worry about Miley Cyrus when my kids are busy looking up to these guys!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

A simple man with simple pleasures!!!

Callum has two crazy parents and two crazy siblings.  I always laugh at how somehow Callum seems to be above it all.  He is our peacemaker.  He very rarely gets all riled up and when it does he does it is sort of funny and so I laugh and that gets him more angry.    Thank goodness those times are rare.  Mainly he just has that deep belly laugh that never stops and the man LOVES penguins, bunnies, and pandas.


This year Callum didn't like all day school.  So I agreed to let him spend half days with me but he knew I would have to work.  For the most part he has been such a trooper.  He just plays while I work.  Yesterday was his first day to really act up and I couldn't do anything with him.  He told me today it wasn't his fault, he was an evil samurai penguin.  Today though the happy penguin was back and I got plenty done.  I really am glad to have him around.  It is special for me to have this time together.  The fact is that we are planning on redshirting the twins and there is no hurry to grow up.


Callum just finished his first soccer season this weekend.  It is was awesome to see how much fun he had.  He truly loved every bit of it :)  His favorite part was his trophy.  He is also obsessed these days with basketball.  He can't throw high enough for the hoop so he gets on a chair and throws hoops from there.  He is getting more into art and gym though which have never been his thing.  I'm proud to see him challenging himself!

I feel bad for him because he gets teased a lot for his Brooklyn accent.  I think it is cute but other kids are starting to mock him.  We are probably going to have tubes put in his ears and if that improves his hearing.  He doesn't look to have fluid but he has hearing loss and so this is the first step in trying to see if that improves his hearing loss.  If not we will go from there.  We are also going to have him surgically checked at that time to see his palette up close.  We still don't know why it doesn't close consistently when speaking and eating.  He has been in speech therapy for a year now and it is all still the same.  I will miss his cute talking though.


We have a ton of fun singing in the car.  He still LOVES everything music.  He will get mad at me now if I change the radio station on a song he likes.  It amazes me how he knows the lyrics to everything.  He doesn't sing loud but his voice is so cute as he quietly sings his songs.  I'm taking him to see the Trans-Siberian orchestra with my mom next month.  I can't wait!!  We loved watching the special on the Hallmark channel last year.  He was the only one who could sit through it time and time again.

 He hopes to be a rock star magician one day.  I see him as a future pediatrician or a music teacher.  He has such a gentle spirit and a sharp mind.  I think whatever he does he will be great!  I treasure this special time with him that I get these days.

Running away and joining the circus!

In this blog I know I have referenced in the past the phrase "I'm going to runaway and join the circus."  Well now after our trip to Vegas the kids are now planning on following me!


One of the biggest treats this trip was my sister and her wonderful boyfriend Jason putting together two magical experiences for the babies: Circus Vargas and The V Show.  I remember seeing my first show in Las Vegas years and years ago, it was a show Eliza was working on at the time, and I was just star struck.  That is how the kids were!



The V Show was extra special because one of the featured performers was Jason.  Callum was just mystified by all of it.  He wants to grow up and be just like Jason, but with rockstar hair (his words not mine).  Jason and all of his fellow counterparts were very neat and some of the best I had ever seen.  The best critics though were the boys (Rachel slept through the whole thing)!  They couldn't stop talking about the birds and how neat Uncle Jason is!!!



Jason also was so very kind by getting us tickets to Circus Vargas.  That was mind-blowing.  They are a no animal circus.  Instead they focus, much like Cirque du Soilel, on mind blowing human feats of art.  They had a little of everything and it was so neat!!!  Rachel and Harmon especially were so affected by it.  They are my two who are going to run off and join the circus.  They wanted to go and try the acrobatics on their own (which I have vetoed).

The arts have always been instrumental in my own life.  Everything I do I try to make it artistic (which of course never impressed accounting when I had to turn in quarterly budgets).  It makes me happy to see how amazed my kids are with art now.  Each has their own unique talents and they may not end up going into magic or cirque performance their lives will be enriched as they learn to appreciate the stage and work on their craft while they are young.  This trip they got to see how dreams can come true when you put your heart into something.

Lost Vegas...

It is always painful for me in a way to think about Las Vegas.  It has been five years, and while I love the beautiful people in my life now, I still really miss home.  That is why this year I have made the conscious decision to come back and visit Vegas a couple times each year.

The kids love it too.  Harmon is all proud because he is a native Nevadan and constantly asks me when we will go home and move back.  My sister would love that and so would my bestie Jaimie.  They made everything so nice during our trip. When it was time to leave I just cried, especially hugging Jaimie goodbye b/c I knew that it would be a while till I saw her again.



Jaimie is my kindred twin.  I am very shy but when I met her it just felt like we were sisters in another life.  We have been totally inseparable since 2004.  The sad part about it though is that because of fate we hadn't been able to see see each other in ages.  Seeing her was just awesomeness!


Eliza is my big sister by six years and she has taught me so much.  She is solely responsible for me becoming more of a lady.  I was such a tomboy when I moved to Vegas, I never even shaved and wore guy clothes.  She opened a lot of doors for me and because of her I was really able to find myself.  It is funny because we have an odd symbiotic relationship where we sort of complete each other.  Always been yin and yang.  She loves the babies so much.  Especially Harm!  She was the first one to hold him before Chris and I.  Each one is special to her.  Rachel's has her middle name, Snow, in honor of my sweet sister.  They are so alike also, baby blonde bombshells!


When I go home it is bittersweet.  We visited that should have been ours, but than Chris got laid off before it was finished and so we had to walk away from our contract.  Also I miss some of the small things that I just loved and is no more.  When I used to live there my favorite place to eat was a small Puerto Rican restaurant called "El Coqui" that always reminded me of home.  There used to be a lot of nice lounge clubs like Zaks at the Golden Nugget that celebrated the old Frank like spirit that made Vegas, Las Vegas.  The first night clubs I used to go like: Light, Studio 54, Tangerine, and RumJungle are all gone.  Even my old radio station that gave me my love for quirky alternative music is now just another pop station.  A lot of the live magic shows and stage shows are gone as well.

What is still there though are wonderful people.  I was so sad I didn't have time to visit anyone it felt like :(  Next trip I want to go take the kids where we were married.  I want them to meet many other dear friends of mine.  So the only solution of course is going back real soon!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Here comes Mighty Mouse!

There is not a day that goes by that I am not totally proud of my Rachel.  I just laugh when I think about doctors who said how limited she might be when we were told she has Cerebral Palsy.  Yup, they didn't know who they were diagnosing...


This year having exited much of the private services for gross motor and fine motor has gone very well.  We made a good decision.  She will be evaluated by Carrie Tingly Hospital soon again to make sure she is not heel walking with her right foot.  If she is she might need to go back into an orthotic but honestly even that I think might be too invasive.  I kick myself almost everyday when I limited her future thinking how this diagnoses would limit her.  Now I'm realizing instead of worrying so much about doing everything possible, just letting Rachey be Rachey is sort of all she needs.


We don't treat her at all differently than we do the boys except that her Special Ed teacher has instructed us to use a stroller during long activities.  Yup, that doesn't go too well with the boys.  Rachel assumes it is just princess treatment.  We also try to make sure she still gets a two hour nap because she needs more sleep than the boys.  It is when she is tired that she will start too wobble and get hurt.




No super hero story of course would be complete though without seeing her super powers.  While she does not do sports at this time she does do 2 classes of gym and 2 classes of dance a week.  She is just always charming everyone.  They call her the little performer for a reason.   I'm amazed by the sheer strength of her little body.   My favorite is her dance though, because she is just too cute!

Belated Birthday...

So yes my twins turned four.  I was typing tow and it really was four.  That is how strange it is.  I don't really understand how my babies are no longer my little babies anymore.  Poor little guys, their party got delayed 3 times.  They didn't believe me when we were driving up the the Aquatic Center and it was their little birthday.  It was super fun!  Here are the memories!

















Over scheduled!!!

I read a quote tonight that stated "you can do anything, you just can't do everything".  Oy, so true!  My kids and I are over scheduled.  Anyone who knows me, I'm always running around like a chicken with my head cut off but I fear I am spawning a whole new generation of chickens.


I realized this on Friday night.  I was taking Harm to two back to back gym classes.  We were talking how tomorrow is going to be his last soccer game.  That is when he informed me that there would only be a short break and than soccer will be starting again along with t-ball.  I tried to explain to him that since he is in gymnastics he is not going to be doing spring soccer.  He corrected me.  He told me his coach has decided to do both sports and they will schedule around his gym lessons.


I feel bad pushing him to choose.  I still haven't decided if I will hold firm on his either soccer or t-ball because he really wants to do all three.   Still we have Rachel in 4 hours of dance and gym.  Harm has 3 hours of gym.  Callum has 1 hour of gym.  Soccer was taking up 2 practices and one game per week.  So when the dust settled this fall we have really only had one family night, on Tuesday.  My kids may not be tired but I sure am :(

Sunday, November 10, 2013

My creepy kitty...

I had to share this story simply because I think it is really funny.  This Halloween each of my kids proved how brave they were.  Nothing scared them!!!  We would go too Spirit, the Halloween store, and nothing would shake them (even the giant spider that would jump out at them).  A few days after Halloween Harmon came to me and confessed, there is indeed something that scares him big time... and his name is Henry.


Often at night Henry sneaks out and comes back in time for his supper.  Well I guess Harm is mortified of him because Harm now doesn't want to take the trash out at night.   He told me he has nightmares.  I suspect this might be his way of getting out of one of his nightly chores but Harm swears he is scared of that cat.

Of course if anyone should be scared of that cat it is Chris.  I got him this book recently and the signs are there...


In other cat news Bob got really sick with an eye infection during the Summer.  Well 4 months later he is now doing good.   You never realize how lucky you are to have a little pet in your life till you almost lose him.  I swore I never would spend the money I spent to save that eye but losing Bob was not an option.  It is good to have my kitty pretty back.