Saturday, December 14, 2013

Bigger, wiser, kinder, and stronger...

How do you handle it when time becomes your biggest enemy?  That is how I feel these days.  I love my children so much but it is hard to see how quickly they are growing up.  As they grow we face new challenges.  About 3 years ago my biggest challenges was potty training, temper tantrums, bottles, and finding pacifiers.  Those days are over.  Now our problems are just as challenging but very different.


Bickering:  I am ready to put the sign on the front door and say "Twins for sale $1 OBO".  They are finally having a major sibling rivalry.  Its like if Cally picks a fruit by the foot and Rachel picks a fruit roll up than Callum gets angry and Rachel and demands I give him a fruit roll up.  Harm is above the fray these days and has turned into my mini peacemaker.  Thank Heavens!!!  Now I just need to help my Twinkies through this before I lose my mind.

"OH THE DRAMA!!!":  I blame myself for this in part because I have theater degree after all but I think Harmon gets this from Chris because he is the man in the family and the boys are the ones picking the habit.  Harmon gets so upset if I tell him he has to wait to watch a movie or delay going somewhere because something came up.  He will scream: "Just be honest I'm never going to ever get to do it" and than he slams his bedroom door and locks it.  Callum is starting to do the same thing.  Note to self, the locks are going next house.    


Drama Part 2:  Now Rachey is funniest.  She gets a slight scrape and she acts like the lady in the theme song from Mystery going oh no while waving a scarf.  The worst is chores.  This I blame on myself.  My father raised me to be a princess so I never did chores growing up.  I think I coddle Rachel too much so I need to work on that because now the slightest chore elicits fainting spells.

Peer Pressure:  The hardest thing I have had to contend with is explaining to the kids that just because they have a friend who watches something or acts a certain way that doesn't mean they get too.  I know I am strict mom but I think that being strict with things like entertainment, manners, honesty, chores, etc. are very important.  I feel bad being hard on them when they have friends with their own iPads and gaming systems.  They get to do a lot of that, like when we are at appointments the boys play Angry Birds and Rachel loves Strawberry Shortcake.  I'm trying to teach them to stand up against peer pressure but also be more understanding that the kids are not gonna grow up like I did making mud pies in the back yard all day!


When I first was pregnant I stalked message boards and read a ton of books.  The best thing I ever was taught was when my kids and were in early intervention and our wonderful family counselor Deryl taught me about the "Circle of Security" in a six week parenting course.  It taught the following:
  • Always be: Bigger, wiser, kinder, and stronger.  
  • When possible: follow my children's needs.  
  • Whenever necessary: be ready to take charge.  As challenging as parenting gets I try to remember what I learned in this course and apply the principals.  
Hopefully I will end up with well adjusted great adults who can take care of their mother who they drove crazy.

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Saturday, December 14, 2013

Bigger, wiser, kinder, and stronger...

How do you handle it when time becomes your biggest enemy?  That is how I feel these days.  I love my children so much but it is hard to see how quickly they are growing up.  As they grow we face new challenges.  About 3 years ago my biggest challenges was potty training, temper tantrums, bottles, and finding pacifiers.  Those days are over.  Now our problems are just as challenging but very different.


Bickering:  I am ready to put the sign on the front door and say "Twins for sale $1 OBO".  They are finally having a major sibling rivalry.  Its like if Cally picks a fruit by the foot and Rachel picks a fruit roll up than Callum gets angry and Rachel and demands I give him a fruit roll up.  Harm is above the fray these days and has turned into my mini peacemaker.  Thank Heavens!!!  Now I just need to help my Twinkies through this before I lose my mind.

"OH THE DRAMA!!!":  I blame myself for this in part because I have theater degree after all but I think Harmon gets this from Chris because he is the man in the family and the boys are the ones picking the habit.  Harmon gets so upset if I tell him he has to wait to watch a movie or delay going somewhere because something came up.  He will scream: "Just be honest I'm never going to ever get to do it" and than he slams his bedroom door and locks it.  Callum is starting to do the same thing.  Note to self, the locks are going next house.    


Drama Part 2:  Now Rachey is funniest.  She gets a slight scrape and she acts like the lady in the theme song from Mystery going oh no while waving a scarf.  The worst is chores.  This I blame on myself.  My father raised me to be a princess so I never did chores growing up.  I think I coddle Rachel too much so I need to work on that because now the slightest chore elicits fainting spells.

Peer Pressure:  The hardest thing I have had to contend with is explaining to the kids that just because they have a friend who watches something or acts a certain way that doesn't mean they get too.  I know I am strict mom but I think that being strict with things like entertainment, manners, honesty, chores, etc. are very important.  I feel bad being hard on them when they have friends with their own iPads and gaming systems.  They get to do a lot of that, like when we are at appointments the boys play Angry Birds and Rachel loves Strawberry Shortcake.  I'm trying to teach them to stand up against peer pressure but also be more understanding that the kids are not gonna grow up like I did making mud pies in the back yard all day!


When I first was pregnant I stalked message boards and read a ton of books.  The best thing I ever was taught was when my kids and were in early intervention and our wonderful family counselor Deryl taught me about the "Circle of Security" in a six week parenting course.  It taught the following:
  • Always be: Bigger, wiser, kinder, and stronger.  
  • When possible: follow my children's needs.  
  • Whenever necessary: be ready to take charge.  As challenging as parenting gets I try to remember what I learned in this course and apply the principals.  
Hopefully I will end up with well adjusted great adults who can take care of their mother who they drove crazy.

No comments:

Post a Comment