So I was reading Glamour magazine a few months ago and it talked about the angst of turning 30. This is supposed to be a time of mourning for me. It is official, I didn't win a Tony Award, a Pulitzer, and a Nobel... I'm a failure! I'm old, and now the only thing I left in my life to look forward too is pureed string beans and a retirement home in Boca Raton...
Well tomorrow I'm turning 30 and I guess I'm not following the advice of others b/c it really is not a big deal. Rather I think than feeling old, it sort of is like a badge of honor that says: "look at all I've done in my life in only 30 yrs and Dang GIRL I still look 20"!!!
So here is a list of things I've done in the last 30:
- Went to the Intel International Science Fair in high school twice!
- Helped teach others about the holocaust in high school and college
- Protested the war in Iraq (and called it on those weapons of mass destruction)
- Went to the best college in the nation, Hook em Horns!
- Hung out in Frank Sinatra's old dressing room and got to know some of the neatest magicians of our time
- Served an 18 month mission for my church in Los Angeles where I was able to help the deaf community, feed the hungry, teach English, and so much more
- Did indoor sky diving
- Played $100 bet on a black jack table (w/my sister) and won
- Traveled everywhere in the USA practically
- Stamped my passport a few times
- Got to be a runaway bride once and called off a wedding
- Helped build a successful business out of nothing
- Ran off and got married in Vegas (ok I didn't run anywhere b/c I was already living there but I was married in Las Vegas which is cool).
- Swam with dolphins
- I've dared to move 1/2 way across the country several times on my own for new opportunities
- Wrote a full length play and actually received an award for it
- Had 3 beautiful children in only 2 yrs time and got my figure back
So those are some of the highlights. If I were to say it has been all good and I've been nothing but a success that would be a lie. I've been fired from a job, flunked a few classes, etc. I loved and lost many a time. I've gone close to crazy a few times (what great artist hasn't). I've been hurt by people who were supposed to love me and I know what it is like to feel alone. I've stared death in the face more times than I would like to have had, and I deal with a serious disease that robs me each day of strength.
I guess that is the point of why I'm not sad about this turning 30 thing. When I was a child, I felt alone a lot. I would sit and dream of all that I could do and be. I decided as I was a teen in and out of hospitals and later in college struggling once more that I have two choices: you can either go and live life with no regrets or you can play it safe and wallow in self-pity. I've rarely have played it safe and in that process I've lived more in 30 yrs than others have in 60. I refuse to not do things out of fear and I look to new adventures.
Being the youngest of many of my friends and family I've seen great examples that life is about living. You can't live for the past but you must always strive to live for your future with out regret or apology. I'm proud of all I've been through, even my failures. I have so many dreams for my future still in my heart. I've shared many on my blog and I keep a few in my heart. I want to live each day of the next 30 yrs to the fullest. Even if I fail I plan on moving forward with faith.