Monday, January 30, 2012

My life is over!!!!!

So I was reading Glamour magazine a few months ago and it talked about the angst of turning 30. This is supposed to be a time of mourning for me. It is official, I didn't win a Tony Award, a Pulitzer, and a Nobel... I'm a failure! I'm old, and now the only thing I left in my life to look forward too is pureed string beans and a retirement home in Boca Raton...

Well tomorrow I'm turning 30 and I guess I'm not following the advice of others b/c it really is not a big deal. Rather I think than feeling old, it sort of is like a badge of honor that says: "look at all I've done in my life in only 30 yrs and Dang GIRL I still look 20"!!!

So here is a list of things I've done in the last 30:
  • Went to the Intel International Science Fair in high school twice!
  • Helped teach others about the holocaust in high school and college
  • Protested the war in Iraq (and called it on those weapons of mass destruction)
  • Went to the best college in the nation, Hook em Horns!
  • Hung out in Frank Sinatra's old dressing room and got to know some of the neatest magicians of our time
  • Served an 18 month mission for my church in Los Angeles where I was able to help the deaf community, feed the hungry, teach English, and so much more
  • Did indoor sky diving
  • Played $100 bet on a black jack table (w/my sister) and won
  • Traveled everywhere in the USA practically
  • Stamped my passport a few times
  • Got to be a runaway bride once and called off a wedding
  • Helped build a successful business out of nothing
  • Ran off and got married in Vegas (ok I didn't run anywhere b/c I was already living there but I was married in Las Vegas which is cool).
  • Swam with dolphins
  • I've dared to move 1/2 way across the country several times on my own for new opportunities
  • Wrote a full length play and actually received an award for it
  • Had 3 beautiful children in only 2 yrs time and got my figure back
So those are some of the highlights. If I were to say it has been all good and I've been nothing but a success that would be a lie. I've been fired from a job, flunked a few classes, etc. I loved and lost many a time. I've gone close to crazy a few times (what great artist hasn't). I've been hurt by people who were supposed to love me and I know what it is like to feel alone. I've stared death in the face more times than I would like to have had, and I deal with a serious disease that robs me each day of strength.

I guess that is the point of why I'm not sad about this turning 30 thing. When I was a child, I felt alone a lot. I would sit and dream of all that I could do and be. I decided as I was a teen in and out of hospitals and later in college struggling once more that I have two choices: you can either go and live life with no regrets or you can play it safe and wallow in self-pity. I've rarely have played it safe and in that process I've lived more in 30 yrs than others have in 60. I refuse to not do things out of fear and I look to new adventures.

Being the youngest of many of my friends and family I've seen great examples that life is about living. You can't live for the past but you must always strive to live for your future with out regret or apology. I'm proud of all I've been through, even my failures. I have so many dreams for my future still in my heart. I've shared many on my blog and I keep a few in my heart. I want to live each day of the next 30 yrs to the fullest. Even if I fail I plan on moving forward with faith.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Feminine Mystique meets the Princess Doctrine!

Rachel is just a doll, or as my sister says "a dolly by golly". I've always had mixed feelings about having a girl. I want her to be strong and independent, yet beautiful and want to be pampered. Chris thinks she is a little too pampered but I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as she grows up self-suffiecient.

It was by accident one morning recently Rachel told me, "I'm a smart princess". I liked that! She is a smart girl. I loved that she knew that of her. Now she says "I am a Smart Princess". "I am a pretty Princess". So we are adding more fun stuff! I'm teaching her to say, "I'm a tough princess". I don't mind her being a princess but I want her by the time she is a tween to know that she isn't the type of girl who is not waisting time in a bell tower for a prince to kiss her. I realize that it will take time but I'm happy already that she is seeing the pride in being smart.

Hopefully by the time she is an adult and she looks at herself in the mirror she will see a smart, good, tough, educated, beautiful princess who doesn't need a man to be happy (but wouldn't mind a good one if one worthwhile comes by)!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Thomas the Train Vacation????

So I have an odd confession. Some people push drugs, others push junk food, I push Thomas the Tank Engine! I just love this little blue guy. There is no violence. It has a wonderful message and of course he is cute! Miriam and I both are keenly aware that one day the boys will outgrow Thomas, but today they love Thomas! So we like to encourage the addiction!!!! Even girlie Rachel likes it a little.

So this Summer what will be doing the family vacation in Boulder City, NV. WHY? Because that is where Day Out With Thomas will be and since I lived in Vegas for years, and my bestie sister is there, it will be a ton of fun. I just think since the boys both wear the shirts, have train sets in each room of the house, and have probably 100 trains... what would be more exciting than getting to actually riding the train himself. Yes, I know I'm odd but the longer we keep Thomas alive in our home that means the longer we keep other things out of our home that might encourage the kids to tie each other up or jump off furniture. Heaven knows our families Health Insurance Policy appreciate this ;)


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sleep Over and a Movie Night



We don't watch any television in our home except for Daddy's late night sneaking when I'm not around right before bed. So tonight I let the kids watch "Smurfs" the movie b/c after all Rachel thinks she is a Smurf. They dragged out all their pillow and blankets. It was an official sleepover. They loved just goofing around in the living room b/c Daddy insists it stays clean at all times. It is in these small moments that happiness is found.


Saturday, January 21, 2012

One heck of a party!!!!!!


I'm getting really used to having large parties but this one was different. In part b/c a week ago I still was in bed. Moreover though this year Chris went a little crazy with the bounce house. We did it and it was just so much fun. Chris, my mother, and young lady Brenna prepped and did a lot of the work. Harm (and all the other kids) just had the best time. We always have a lot of adult friends (who often don't even have kids) and that made it nice to just eat and talk with good friends.


Many friends ask me why we do such large parties. It isn't about being showy or anything like that. I want Harmon (and our twins when it is their turn to party) to just feel and know they are loved. They have cousins, aunts, uncle, grandparents, school friends, church friends, etc ho also all love him besides mom and dad. Today was a day we celebrate with everyone a little boy who has changed our lives. Also to be blunt it is a LOT of fun for everyone (including adults). You see people you never get to see and just have fun!

Here is a blurry pic of the MONSTER bounce house. It was an obstacle course.

This year Chris did the Pinata from the roof... Thank Heaven's he is good!!!

Harmon enjoying his Paternal family with the Hakes and Kohler families

Very special guests! My mom's best friends (who helped me as I grew up) came from El Paso. My Mom is the one on the end. Richard, Jaimie, and Mrs. B even out the group.

All the kids anxiously awaiting the start of Pinata wars!

Harmon attacking the Pinata!

Callum's turn to attack

Rachel sneaking cake


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Happy Birthday Harmon


Today my little man is 4 :( It goes too QUICKLY!!!!!!!!

Dear Harmon,

This has been a very good year for you. You learned how to hang upside down, potty train, spell your name, grew your vocabulary from 50 words to 1,000 + and can now argue like an attorney :) You also know right from wrong and want to care for the little guy (for example when you saw them hurt Bambi's mom you wanted to go take your Thomas Trains to the forest and save her and get those bad guys). We know you will always care and protect your baby sister!

We love how much you love everyone around you and everyone loves you. Your pre-school teacher calls you her "Boo Boo Bear" and your teachers in Sunday School adore you. We are always proud of how you want to read your scriptures and say your prayers. You have many good friends from our MeetUp group like Nathaniel and your best friend in school MJ adores you. Everyone in your extended family wants to hang out with you! Even our new kitten Henry loves you and you love him. Your best buddy is your brother Callum. He looks up to everything you do and are.

We know sometimes we get cross with you when you don't always do as you should. It is hard now that you are a big boy. You have chores and you have consequences when you do something bad. But with age and responsibility you are doing so many neat things like earning rewards, playing soccer, and going to school. Please know that no matter what you do we ALWAYS love you and we ALWAYS will love you. We don't care if you are rich or build houses like daddy, or whatever. We just want you to be happy and give your best at whatever you choose. We love you so much and we always will. You are such a special wonderful little boy.

So much love,

Mommy and Daddy

This post was co-written w/Chris

Monday, January 16, 2012

Runaway Kitty!!!!



I love my new Kit-Cat. We named him Henry after King Henry the 8th (our inner history nerd finally bridged the naming compromise). Henry stays either on my chest or on my shoulder behind me on the couch any free moment of the day (when Bob my other kitty doesn't beat him to me).

Unfortunately the kids really love the kitten too. He is a very docile little guy and they don't hurt him. We have had docile pets their whole lives and so they know the "no no's" of pet handling. That doesn't keep them from loving this cat all day long. Poor Henry gets chased and carried into tea parties or train games. The kids adore him. They pet him non-stop when he is around. Rachel gives him kisses and as the picture below shows Harm reads him stories.


Chris and I have been worrying it is a little much. We had a cat named Sturgis and Harm loved him. Right before the twins came home from the NICU Strugis snuck out and by the time we realized (with in minutes) we couldn't find it. Living amongst cayote packs we always figured that was his fate. Harm missed him so much and even wanted to name Henry, Sturgis. So now Chris is teaching Harmon to have play time and space time for Henry. To make sure he doesn't overwhelmed or sneak out or get hurt by accident. He is doing good I think learning this. He is teaching the twins also to be gentle. We are hopeful Henry will not meet a similar fate and it is teaching the kids responsibility in caring and loving little joyful creatures.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

So my husband is trying to kill me and other tales from the week!

I stopped taking pain killers late about 24 hours ago and it is wonderful. I can think again clearly and type back at my usual speed. It has been a really crazy week since Wednesday and I'm tired as heck for it all, but I'm getting back to where I need to be and that is the important part of it all.


The surgery itself went well. There was scar tissue on my uterus from the c-section and it had overgrown itself tilting everything left and causing a lot of pain. It was an easy fix and the fact that it is not endometriosis is wonderful news. This means no long term treatment will be in the cards. Assuming it is all fixed, there will be no more surgeries!!! The operation was no big deal!

The odd thing that happened was Thursday. My mom left that evening back to El Paso and I was doing real well. Nothing was odd until past mid-night. I was vomiting so violently (and everything else) that I couldn't keep the medicines in or any fluid down. It was very unnerving b/c I had acute pancreatitis that had me in ICU in college and it felt like that. I ended up back in the ER and they were doing all sorts of emergency things and tests. When all was said and done my gallbladder was inflamed and my pancreas was slightly inflamed. I'm going to be following up but we are hoping the surgery made my gall-bladder mad and it is over with. It is killing me not to eat all the things I love like sliced salami and salsa, but hopefully in a few days.

My mother has been the funniest through out all of the drama. She came back to care for me. She has been caring for everyone and just holding my hand through out everything. I've always been proud of myself that I'm very independent but having her around was pretty nice. I forget how fun my mom is. She kept trying to use swear words during Scrabble on my IPad and she makes me laugh over her irreverent social commentary.

The funniest thing she did while here was tease Chris that he is trying to kill me. We watched Snapped and she decided it was the Gatorade that made me sick. She claimed that spouses always kill using anti-freeze in Gatorade, and she remembered him now fixing Gatorade for me the evening I got very. I know Chris isn't poisoning me but we all got a good laugh out of this


Of course if you had asked me in the hospital on Friday I might have turned him over to the cops. I was in bad shape but I still posted on Facebook that I was ready to kill him. I don't remember much from that day but I remember him constantly on his phone and even leaving for work. "But I had to finish payroll approvals for the trades..." was his excuse. I have a close friend who understands all about business (getting her PHD for it in fact) and she often consoles me concerning Chris' constant dedication. It is what it takes to get ahead. Still I think he will be in the middle of toasting our daughter at her wedding when his cell phone goes off and he will walk off claiming: give me a moment, it's the concrete guy. The joke in the family is that I'm his #1 priority... BUT...

In his defense he has been trying very hard this weekend to make it up to me and he even got me the balloon. He is doing all sorts of kind things this weekend, but still he is lucky I was heavily sedated Friday or I would have put his phone... (well it is a family blog so I won't finish but I'm sure you can fill in the blanks).

All is well that ends well and I think it is all going to end just fine. I just hope there are no more repeats of this week any time soon!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Making the most of it...

This past week I've been filled with anxiety about the surgery tomorrow. I don't know why. I've gone through so much this shouldn't be phasing me AT ALL, but it is. The ironic part about it is that since I've been through so much the people closest to me (mom and Chris) are like WHATEVER. That just makes me feel very ugh about everything. Miriam I think has been a bright spot. She keeps it in perspective: this is going to suck but it will be good when all is said and done.

So to make the most of it I tried to have quality time with each of the kids. Unfortunately my new kitten needed shots, I had to switch vehicles (Chris blew out my rack & pinion so I've been in a rental), and a bunch of other stuff. Still Harm and I went to Barnes & Nobles, and we picked out books for the twins and he got the newest Thomas magazine. In the afternoon and evening I spent some time with each of the twins.

It was a delight spending this wonderful time with my babies. I hope I'm don't disappear or that I'm out of it. I worry about how that affects the kids and Harm especially has had to see me go through a lot. The funny thing about all this special time I had today. It made me think, "gee why don't I do this more?"

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Potty Training x2, OH MY!!!!


When it came to potty training Harmon was the bomb! We just bought some really cool Thomas the Train underwear, training Pull Ups, and a special box of candy for him. I also downloaded an app for my IPhone from Pull Ups and played the Potty Dance video on DVD every morning. Well after a couple of week Harm decided he wanted to Potty Train. He only had a minor pee incident in the Pull Ups a couple of times but he just totally did it all. When it came time to wanting the underwear he decided on his own and only had one accident. It was nice b/c we bribed him but he did all the work. I never dealt with pee or poop anywhere which was nice b/c I'm not a pee or poop type of person.


The problem is we can't wait for the twins like we waited for Harm. THEY HAVE TO BE 100% Potty Trained before they start school right on their 3 yr birthday. Harm didn't potty train till after age 3. This is daunting to me b/c I don't like the idea of pushing it. I don't want to deal with pee and poop everywhere. But Miriam swears she is leaving us at the end of August and if they are not potty trained they can not attend the AMAZING new pre-school I found for them. One way or another we need some potty training boot camp. We are thinking about the 3 day method... I'm not excited but if it is what has to be done!


The good Friday Rachel changed her own diaper in the morning while I was in the shower. She almost had herself fully dressed with clean diaper but she needed help with her button and her tights. (She also did her own hair obviously). So hopefully she is ready to start and than I'll probably do Callum later... Hopefully this will go well and won't be too nasty!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Encouraging Update on Mystery Surgery!

Today in true Francisca fashion during my final appointment before surgery I grilled that doctor. It was just me and him and he leveled with me that it will MORE than likely be an out-patient surgery. He confirmed my suspicions he thinks it might be the c-section but what that means he doesn't know. We can't know until he goes in. I'm hopeful it won't be anything too complicated. After all I deserve a break ;) The only bad thing is that he said I won't be able to know the full results for possibly 2 wks (but if anyone can move test results early it would be me).

I'm feeling much better about things. I can plan for my children and not worry about disappearing overnight. They won't be trucked to Gualita's home. They will be with their Miriam and can see me when I get home that day and keep me company on my bed. It is good to know more but I'll be happier when Thursday of next week comes and everything is behind me rather than facing me!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A mystery surgery...

Some people have asked me to explain what is going on. I really don't know. My doctor mentioned originally Endometriosis but than when it was time to confirm the surgery indicated he felt it was something else, but in true male doctor fashion wouldn't say what. I had an emergency c-section with the twins and so I'm guessing it is something to do with that b/c that is when my pain started. It makes sense that is what it would be.

The not knowing exactly what it is, is driving me a little crazy :p I like to know. I can handle whatever, but I want to know!!!! The idea of opening me up when they don't know what is wrong seems crazy. He won't even tell me if the operation will be in-patient or out-patient. How the heck do you make plans for that? I really think this is no big deal but I will feel much more at ease come Thursday when we KNOW it wasn't a big deal. Than my inner control freak can feel at peace.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Home is a great home base!


I am based out of my home and it is different. That is part of the reason why my nanny and I are so close. We really do see each other every single day. The best part is the kids see me everyday and I get to have Gordon Ramsey on BBC in the background if I'm stuck on the computer. Also with Rachel's Cerebral Palsy I can actively manage her therapy. We have people coming in and out all day and before they leave I can meet up with them for 5 minutes and know exactly what is going on. When I eat lunch instead of cafes and co-workers I'm often seated with curly head twins and a lively Miriam. Even though the food is normally a frozen delicacy you can't beat the company. The best part is when I leave and come back I see the smiles. Yesterday when I came back home Rachel let me know she missed me! It was very cute!


Honestly I miss being in a real office a lot. When we first had Harmon it was a huge thorn in our marriage if I should stay at home or work in an office. This in between life I live is our compromise. I always read in the media: "The Battle Between Stay at Home Moms vs Working Moms!!!!!!" You read studies and one day one lifestyle is ideal and the other day the other lifestyle is ideal. I really believe that is a myth. It is finding what works best for you and your children is the right choice and forget about what anyone else thinks. I wish society didn't put so much pressure on moms that it makes them second guess themselves.

Come August it will all be over somewhat. The twins will be in pre-k 4 days a week from 8:30 to 2. Miriam will be starting her career in marketing or Graphic Design(she is really overqualified hanging out with us), and I will have the peace and quiet to really get things done. I should be overjoyed but I'm not. I will miss having the kids play games loudly in the other room. It won't be the same. So for now all I can do is take advantage of the moments I have now, even if it means I have to escape to Starbucks with my laptop at 7 pm at night to finish something in peace and quiet. Life is all about phases and soon I will be in a new phase that I'm sure I will also love. For now though I am just loving what I have.

Monday, January 2, 2012

My Doomsday Year resolutions!

If you follow my blog on a regular basis you looked at the title and probably cracked up a little. Francisca is going to do resolutions??? They won't last long! After all my "before I'm 30 bucket list" was at least 75% a bust (granted I still have a month but lets be honest most isn't going to happen). Just in my quest to keep one house plant alive 7 innocent ones have died so I think the Horticulturist club of America would prefer I gave up that goal. How many times have I said I was going to start cooking??? That normally last one meal!


But this year is different! After all according to my mother the world is ending in December 21, 2012!!! I somehow doubt the prophecies my mother had told me since I was an infant but nevertheless if the world is going to end I don't want to have regrets and so here we go!

I will have a homemade meal at 5x a week in my home
(I know this resolution for me is like all the people who start diets on New Years Day only to dump it by MLK day but this time will be different)

I will not shop w/o a reason
(I'm an extreme bargain hunter so this will be hard)

I will eat 2 servings of Vegetables and 2 servings of fruit a day

I will stop eating processed foods and fast food every day
(after all soon my kids are going to want I'm eating soon enough :p)

I will read a book for no reason except that I like reading
(That hasn't happened in 3 1/2 yrs)

I will keep taking classes at night for fun since learning makes me happy!
(I've done this twice and it makes me happy but it is hard on the family but I refuse to let the guilt get to me b/c I need to do things for me.)

I will travel less this year
(It is hard on the kids and hard on me so this year I'm going to save my trips for something really special)

I will spend one special hour with each child every week
(I started doing this last year but I don't always stick with it, but it is very important!)

Chris and I will fall madly in love with each other again
(I miss the wild hot passion (I know TMI), the feeling you don't want to be with out each other, etc. We are still both so young but we act like old marrieds. Hopefully Chris will be on board for this.)

We will go to bed by 11 most nights
(I'm a 2 am warrior unfortunately)

I will find a place to swim a couple of times a week
(It is the only exercise I'm allowed)

Finally I will whine less, laugh more, and just be more optimistic!

I guess that is the funny thing about life. These are all things I should really be doing all the time. I just get so busy and life happens. I want to take better care of myself though b/c I know these kids look up to me and if this isn't the great Mayan rapture I'm going to need to be living healthier. That means sleeping and eating right.

I also want to focus more on my family. Chris and I spent TH-Sat in Albuquerque and 1/2 the time we worked or I shopped. All we ever talk about is the company it feels like. I want my moments to count in life. To be close with the ones closest to me. So even though there are a lot of resolutions that is why I'm ready to take it on! I want 2012 to be the start of a healthier and HAPPIER me :)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

My Holiday Redux post!

So I took a blogging vacation for the holidays OBVIOUSLY. It wasn't on purpose but there was just so much going on I've not had the time. It was great holiday though. We cleaned out all the old baby toys before Christmas so the kids each got a few gifts each that they are in love with. It was just really neat. We did Christmas Eve dinner with my family (and even my beautiful sister made it). The next morning each kid had a toy from "Santa" and a stocking (Chris insisted). After church they opened their family gifts. It was exhausting but neat.

Since than not much has been going on. The pets all got sick but everyone is feeling better. Chris and I went to Albuquerque for a few days and now we are back. I have a surgery coming up in a week in a half (it shouldn't be too serious... we just don't really know what is going on and so it makes it hard to plan) so things have been a challenge for me getting along. Nevertheless we are all having fun just being together and I'm so enjoying everyone (including the new kitten). I'm pretty blessed and there is something about Christmas that helps me remember that!


Below are some fun moments from Christmas eve and day!






Monday, January 30, 2012

My life is over!!!!!

So I was reading Glamour magazine a few months ago and it talked about the angst of turning 30. This is supposed to be a time of mourning for me. It is official, I didn't win a Tony Award, a Pulitzer, and a Nobel... I'm a failure! I'm old, and now the only thing I left in my life to look forward too is pureed string beans and a retirement home in Boca Raton...

Well tomorrow I'm turning 30 and I guess I'm not following the advice of others b/c it really is not a big deal. Rather I think than feeling old, it sort of is like a badge of honor that says: "look at all I've done in my life in only 30 yrs and Dang GIRL I still look 20"!!!

So here is a list of things I've done in the last 30:
  • Went to the Intel International Science Fair in high school twice!
  • Helped teach others about the holocaust in high school and college
  • Protested the war in Iraq (and called it on those weapons of mass destruction)
  • Went to the best college in the nation, Hook em Horns!
  • Hung out in Frank Sinatra's old dressing room and got to know some of the neatest magicians of our time
  • Served an 18 month mission for my church in Los Angeles where I was able to help the deaf community, feed the hungry, teach English, and so much more
  • Did indoor sky diving
  • Played $100 bet on a black jack table (w/my sister) and won
  • Traveled everywhere in the USA practically
  • Stamped my passport a few times
  • Got to be a runaway bride once and called off a wedding
  • Helped build a successful business out of nothing
  • Ran off and got married in Vegas (ok I didn't run anywhere b/c I was already living there but I was married in Las Vegas which is cool).
  • Swam with dolphins
  • I've dared to move 1/2 way across the country several times on my own for new opportunities
  • Wrote a full length play and actually received an award for it
  • Had 3 beautiful children in only 2 yrs time and got my figure back
So those are some of the highlights. If I were to say it has been all good and I've been nothing but a success that would be a lie. I've been fired from a job, flunked a few classes, etc. I loved and lost many a time. I've gone close to crazy a few times (what great artist hasn't). I've been hurt by people who were supposed to love me and I know what it is like to feel alone. I've stared death in the face more times than I would like to have had, and I deal with a serious disease that robs me each day of strength.

I guess that is the point of why I'm not sad about this turning 30 thing. When I was a child, I felt alone a lot. I would sit and dream of all that I could do and be. I decided as I was a teen in and out of hospitals and later in college struggling once more that I have two choices: you can either go and live life with no regrets or you can play it safe and wallow in self-pity. I've rarely have played it safe and in that process I've lived more in 30 yrs than others have in 60. I refuse to not do things out of fear and I look to new adventures.

Being the youngest of many of my friends and family I've seen great examples that life is about living. You can't live for the past but you must always strive to live for your future with out regret or apology. I'm proud of all I've been through, even my failures. I have so many dreams for my future still in my heart. I've shared many on my blog and I keep a few in my heart. I want to live each day of the next 30 yrs to the fullest. Even if I fail I plan on moving forward with faith.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Feminine Mystique meets the Princess Doctrine!

Rachel is just a doll, or as my sister says "a dolly by golly". I've always had mixed feelings about having a girl. I want her to be strong and independent, yet beautiful and want to be pampered. Chris thinks she is a little too pampered but I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as she grows up self-suffiecient.

It was by accident one morning recently Rachel told me, "I'm a smart princess". I liked that! She is a smart girl. I loved that she knew that of her. Now she says "I am a Smart Princess". "I am a pretty Princess". So we are adding more fun stuff! I'm teaching her to say, "I'm a tough princess". I don't mind her being a princess but I want her by the time she is a tween to know that she isn't the type of girl who is not waisting time in a bell tower for a prince to kiss her. I realize that it will take time but I'm happy already that she is seeing the pride in being smart.

Hopefully by the time she is an adult and she looks at herself in the mirror she will see a smart, good, tough, educated, beautiful princess who doesn't need a man to be happy (but wouldn't mind a good one if one worthwhile comes by)!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Thomas the Train Vacation????

So I have an odd confession. Some people push drugs, others push junk food, I push Thomas the Tank Engine! I just love this little blue guy. There is no violence. It has a wonderful message and of course he is cute! Miriam and I both are keenly aware that one day the boys will outgrow Thomas, but today they love Thomas! So we like to encourage the addiction!!!! Even girlie Rachel likes it a little.

So this Summer what will be doing the family vacation in Boulder City, NV. WHY? Because that is where Day Out With Thomas will be and since I lived in Vegas for years, and my bestie sister is there, it will be a ton of fun. I just think since the boys both wear the shirts, have train sets in each room of the house, and have probably 100 trains... what would be more exciting than getting to actually riding the train himself. Yes, I know I'm odd but the longer we keep Thomas alive in our home that means the longer we keep other things out of our home that might encourage the kids to tie each other up or jump off furniture. Heaven knows our families Health Insurance Policy appreciate this ;)


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sleep Over and a Movie Night



We don't watch any television in our home except for Daddy's late night sneaking when I'm not around right before bed. So tonight I let the kids watch "Smurfs" the movie b/c after all Rachel thinks she is a Smurf. They dragged out all their pillow and blankets. It was an official sleepover. They loved just goofing around in the living room b/c Daddy insists it stays clean at all times. It is in these small moments that happiness is found.


Saturday, January 21, 2012

One heck of a party!!!!!!


I'm getting really used to having large parties but this one was different. In part b/c a week ago I still was in bed. Moreover though this year Chris went a little crazy with the bounce house. We did it and it was just so much fun. Chris, my mother, and young lady Brenna prepped and did a lot of the work. Harm (and all the other kids) just had the best time. We always have a lot of adult friends (who often don't even have kids) and that made it nice to just eat and talk with good friends.


Many friends ask me why we do such large parties. It isn't about being showy or anything like that. I want Harmon (and our twins when it is their turn to party) to just feel and know they are loved. They have cousins, aunts, uncle, grandparents, school friends, church friends, etc ho also all love him besides mom and dad. Today was a day we celebrate with everyone a little boy who has changed our lives. Also to be blunt it is a LOT of fun for everyone (including adults). You see people you never get to see and just have fun!

Here is a blurry pic of the MONSTER bounce house. It was an obstacle course.

This year Chris did the Pinata from the roof... Thank Heaven's he is good!!!

Harmon enjoying his Paternal family with the Hakes and Kohler families

Very special guests! My mom's best friends (who helped me as I grew up) came from El Paso. My Mom is the one on the end. Richard, Jaimie, and Mrs. B even out the group.

All the kids anxiously awaiting the start of Pinata wars!

Harmon attacking the Pinata!

Callum's turn to attack

Rachel sneaking cake


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Happy Birthday Harmon


Today my little man is 4 :( It goes too QUICKLY!!!!!!!!

Dear Harmon,

This has been a very good year for you. You learned how to hang upside down, potty train, spell your name, grew your vocabulary from 50 words to 1,000 + and can now argue like an attorney :) You also know right from wrong and want to care for the little guy (for example when you saw them hurt Bambi's mom you wanted to go take your Thomas Trains to the forest and save her and get those bad guys). We know you will always care and protect your baby sister!

We love how much you love everyone around you and everyone loves you. Your pre-school teacher calls you her "Boo Boo Bear" and your teachers in Sunday School adore you. We are always proud of how you want to read your scriptures and say your prayers. You have many good friends from our MeetUp group like Nathaniel and your best friend in school MJ adores you. Everyone in your extended family wants to hang out with you! Even our new kitten Henry loves you and you love him. Your best buddy is your brother Callum. He looks up to everything you do and are.

We know sometimes we get cross with you when you don't always do as you should. It is hard now that you are a big boy. You have chores and you have consequences when you do something bad. But with age and responsibility you are doing so many neat things like earning rewards, playing soccer, and going to school. Please know that no matter what you do we ALWAYS love you and we ALWAYS will love you. We don't care if you are rich or build houses like daddy, or whatever. We just want you to be happy and give your best at whatever you choose. We love you so much and we always will. You are such a special wonderful little boy.

So much love,

Mommy and Daddy

This post was co-written w/Chris

Monday, January 16, 2012

Runaway Kitty!!!!



I love my new Kit-Cat. We named him Henry after King Henry the 8th (our inner history nerd finally bridged the naming compromise). Henry stays either on my chest or on my shoulder behind me on the couch any free moment of the day (when Bob my other kitty doesn't beat him to me).

Unfortunately the kids really love the kitten too. He is a very docile little guy and they don't hurt him. We have had docile pets their whole lives and so they know the "no no's" of pet handling. That doesn't keep them from loving this cat all day long. Poor Henry gets chased and carried into tea parties or train games. The kids adore him. They pet him non-stop when he is around. Rachel gives him kisses and as the picture below shows Harm reads him stories.


Chris and I have been worrying it is a little much. We had a cat named Sturgis and Harm loved him. Right before the twins came home from the NICU Strugis snuck out and by the time we realized (with in minutes) we couldn't find it. Living amongst cayote packs we always figured that was his fate. Harm missed him so much and even wanted to name Henry, Sturgis. So now Chris is teaching Harmon to have play time and space time for Henry. To make sure he doesn't overwhelmed or sneak out or get hurt by accident. He is doing good I think learning this. He is teaching the twins also to be gentle. We are hopeful Henry will not meet a similar fate and it is teaching the kids responsibility in caring and loving little joyful creatures.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

So my husband is trying to kill me and other tales from the week!

I stopped taking pain killers late about 24 hours ago and it is wonderful. I can think again clearly and type back at my usual speed. It has been a really crazy week since Wednesday and I'm tired as heck for it all, but I'm getting back to where I need to be and that is the important part of it all.


The surgery itself went well. There was scar tissue on my uterus from the c-section and it had overgrown itself tilting everything left and causing a lot of pain. It was an easy fix and the fact that it is not endometriosis is wonderful news. This means no long term treatment will be in the cards. Assuming it is all fixed, there will be no more surgeries!!! The operation was no big deal!

The odd thing that happened was Thursday. My mom left that evening back to El Paso and I was doing real well. Nothing was odd until past mid-night. I was vomiting so violently (and everything else) that I couldn't keep the medicines in or any fluid down. It was very unnerving b/c I had acute pancreatitis that had me in ICU in college and it felt like that. I ended up back in the ER and they were doing all sorts of emergency things and tests. When all was said and done my gallbladder was inflamed and my pancreas was slightly inflamed. I'm going to be following up but we are hoping the surgery made my gall-bladder mad and it is over with. It is killing me not to eat all the things I love like sliced salami and salsa, but hopefully in a few days.

My mother has been the funniest through out all of the drama. She came back to care for me. She has been caring for everyone and just holding my hand through out everything. I've always been proud of myself that I'm very independent but having her around was pretty nice. I forget how fun my mom is. She kept trying to use swear words during Scrabble on my IPad and she makes me laugh over her irreverent social commentary.

The funniest thing she did while here was tease Chris that he is trying to kill me. We watched Snapped and she decided it was the Gatorade that made me sick. She claimed that spouses always kill using anti-freeze in Gatorade, and she remembered him now fixing Gatorade for me the evening I got very. I know Chris isn't poisoning me but we all got a good laugh out of this


Of course if you had asked me in the hospital on Friday I might have turned him over to the cops. I was in bad shape but I still posted on Facebook that I was ready to kill him. I don't remember much from that day but I remember him constantly on his phone and even leaving for work. "But I had to finish payroll approvals for the trades..." was his excuse. I have a close friend who understands all about business (getting her PHD for it in fact) and she often consoles me concerning Chris' constant dedication. It is what it takes to get ahead. Still I think he will be in the middle of toasting our daughter at her wedding when his cell phone goes off and he will walk off claiming: give me a moment, it's the concrete guy. The joke in the family is that I'm his #1 priority... BUT...

In his defense he has been trying very hard this weekend to make it up to me and he even got me the balloon. He is doing all sorts of kind things this weekend, but still he is lucky I was heavily sedated Friday or I would have put his phone... (well it is a family blog so I won't finish but I'm sure you can fill in the blanks).

All is well that ends well and I think it is all going to end just fine. I just hope there are no more repeats of this week any time soon!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Making the most of it...

This past week I've been filled with anxiety about the surgery tomorrow. I don't know why. I've gone through so much this shouldn't be phasing me AT ALL, but it is. The ironic part about it is that since I've been through so much the people closest to me (mom and Chris) are like WHATEVER. That just makes me feel very ugh about everything. Miriam I think has been a bright spot. She keeps it in perspective: this is going to suck but it will be good when all is said and done.

So to make the most of it I tried to have quality time with each of the kids. Unfortunately my new kitten needed shots, I had to switch vehicles (Chris blew out my rack & pinion so I've been in a rental), and a bunch of other stuff. Still Harm and I went to Barnes & Nobles, and we picked out books for the twins and he got the newest Thomas magazine. In the afternoon and evening I spent some time with each of the twins.

It was a delight spending this wonderful time with my babies. I hope I'm don't disappear or that I'm out of it. I worry about how that affects the kids and Harm especially has had to see me go through a lot. The funny thing about all this special time I had today. It made me think, "gee why don't I do this more?"

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Potty Training x2, OH MY!!!!


When it came to potty training Harmon was the bomb! We just bought some really cool Thomas the Train underwear, training Pull Ups, and a special box of candy for him. I also downloaded an app for my IPhone from Pull Ups and played the Potty Dance video on DVD every morning. Well after a couple of week Harm decided he wanted to Potty Train. He only had a minor pee incident in the Pull Ups a couple of times but he just totally did it all. When it came time to wanting the underwear he decided on his own and only had one accident. It was nice b/c we bribed him but he did all the work. I never dealt with pee or poop anywhere which was nice b/c I'm not a pee or poop type of person.


The problem is we can't wait for the twins like we waited for Harm. THEY HAVE TO BE 100% Potty Trained before they start school right on their 3 yr birthday. Harm didn't potty train till after age 3. This is daunting to me b/c I don't like the idea of pushing it. I don't want to deal with pee and poop everywhere. But Miriam swears she is leaving us at the end of August and if they are not potty trained they can not attend the AMAZING new pre-school I found for them. One way or another we need some potty training boot camp. We are thinking about the 3 day method... I'm not excited but if it is what has to be done!


The good Friday Rachel changed her own diaper in the morning while I was in the shower. She almost had herself fully dressed with clean diaper but she needed help with her button and her tights. (She also did her own hair obviously). So hopefully she is ready to start and than I'll probably do Callum later... Hopefully this will go well and won't be too nasty!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Encouraging Update on Mystery Surgery!

Today in true Francisca fashion during my final appointment before surgery I grilled that doctor. It was just me and him and he leveled with me that it will MORE than likely be an out-patient surgery. He confirmed my suspicions he thinks it might be the c-section but what that means he doesn't know. We can't know until he goes in. I'm hopeful it won't be anything too complicated. After all I deserve a break ;) The only bad thing is that he said I won't be able to know the full results for possibly 2 wks (but if anyone can move test results early it would be me).

I'm feeling much better about things. I can plan for my children and not worry about disappearing overnight. They won't be trucked to Gualita's home. They will be with their Miriam and can see me when I get home that day and keep me company on my bed. It is good to know more but I'll be happier when Thursday of next week comes and everything is behind me rather than facing me!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A mystery surgery...

Some people have asked me to explain what is going on. I really don't know. My doctor mentioned originally Endometriosis but than when it was time to confirm the surgery indicated he felt it was something else, but in true male doctor fashion wouldn't say what. I had an emergency c-section with the twins and so I'm guessing it is something to do with that b/c that is when my pain started. It makes sense that is what it would be.

The not knowing exactly what it is, is driving me a little crazy :p I like to know. I can handle whatever, but I want to know!!!! The idea of opening me up when they don't know what is wrong seems crazy. He won't even tell me if the operation will be in-patient or out-patient. How the heck do you make plans for that? I really think this is no big deal but I will feel much more at ease come Thursday when we KNOW it wasn't a big deal. Than my inner control freak can feel at peace.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Home is a great home base!


I am based out of my home and it is different. That is part of the reason why my nanny and I are so close. We really do see each other every single day. The best part is the kids see me everyday and I get to have Gordon Ramsey on BBC in the background if I'm stuck on the computer. Also with Rachel's Cerebral Palsy I can actively manage her therapy. We have people coming in and out all day and before they leave I can meet up with them for 5 minutes and know exactly what is going on. When I eat lunch instead of cafes and co-workers I'm often seated with curly head twins and a lively Miriam. Even though the food is normally a frozen delicacy you can't beat the company. The best part is when I leave and come back I see the smiles. Yesterday when I came back home Rachel let me know she missed me! It was very cute!


Honestly I miss being in a real office a lot. When we first had Harmon it was a huge thorn in our marriage if I should stay at home or work in an office. This in between life I live is our compromise. I always read in the media: "The Battle Between Stay at Home Moms vs Working Moms!!!!!!" You read studies and one day one lifestyle is ideal and the other day the other lifestyle is ideal. I really believe that is a myth. It is finding what works best for you and your children is the right choice and forget about what anyone else thinks. I wish society didn't put so much pressure on moms that it makes them second guess themselves.

Come August it will all be over somewhat. The twins will be in pre-k 4 days a week from 8:30 to 2. Miriam will be starting her career in marketing or Graphic Design(she is really overqualified hanging out with us), and I will have the peace and quiet to really get things done. I should be overjoyed but I'm not. I will miss having the kids play games loudly in the other room. It won't be the same. So for now all I can do is take advantage of the moments I have now, even if it means I have to escape to Starbucks with my laptop at 7 pm at night to finish something in peace and quiet. Life is all about phases and soon I will be in a new phase that I'm sure I will also love. For now though I am just loving what I have.

Monday, January 2, 2012

My Doomsday Year resolutions!

If you follow my blog on a regular basis you looked at the title and probably cracked up a little. Francisca is going to do resolutions??? They won't last long! After all my "before I'm 30 bucket list" was at least 75% a bust (granted I still have a month but lets be honest most isn't going to happen). Just in my quest to keep one house plant alive 7 innocent ones have died so I think the Horticulturist club of America would prefer I gave up that goal. How many times have I said I was going to start cooking??? That normally last one meal!


But this year is different! After all according to my mother the world is ending in December 21, 2012!!! I somehow doubt the prophecies my mother had told me since I was an infant but nevertheless if the world is going to end I don't want to have regrets and so here we go!

I will have a homemade meal at 5x a week in my home
(I know this resolution for me is like all the people who start diets on New Years Day only to dump it by MLK day but this time will be different)

I will not shop w/o a reason
(I'm an extreme bargain hunter so this will be hard)

I will eat 2 servings of Vegetables and 2 servings of fruit a day

I will stop eating processed foods and fast food every day
(after all soon my kids are going to want I'm eating soon enough :p)

I will read a book for no reason except that I like reading
(That hasn't happened in 3 1/2 yrs)

I will keep taking classes at night for fun since learning makes me happy!
(I've done this twice and it makes me happy but it is hard on the family but I refuse to let the guilt get to me b/c I need to do things for me.)

I will travel less this year
(It is hard on the kids and hard on me so this year I'm going to save my trips for something really special)

I will spend one special hour with each child every week
(I started doing this last year but I don't always stick with it, but it is very important!)

Chris and I will fall madly in love with each other again
(I miss the wild hot passion (I know TMI), the feeling you don't want to be with out each other, etc. We are still both so young but we act like old marrieds. Hopefully Chris will be on board for this.)

We will go to bed by 11 most nights
(I'm a 2 am warrior unfortunately)

I will find a place to swim a couple of times a week
(It is the only exercise I'm allowed)

Finally I will whine less, laugh more, and just be more optimistic!

I guess that is the funny thing about life. These are all things I should really be doing all the time. I just get so busy and life happens. I want to take better care of myself though b/c I know these kids look up to me and if this isn't the great Mayan rapture I'm going to need to be living healthier. That means sleeping and eating right.

I also want to focus more on my family. Chris and I spent TH-Sat in Albuquerque and 1/2 the time we worked or I shopped. All we ever talk about is the company it feels like. I want my moments to count in life. To be close with the ones closest to me. So even though there are a lot of resolutions that is why I'm ready to take it on! I want 2012 to be the start of a healthier and HAPPIER me :)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

My Holiday Redux post!

So I took a blogging vacation for the holidays OBVIOUSLY. It wasn't on purpose but there was just so much going on I've not had the time. It was great holiday though. We cleaned out all the old baby toys before Christmas so the kids each got a few gifts each that they are in love with. It was just really neat. We did Christmas Eve dinner with my family (and even my beautiful sister made it). The next morning each kid had a toy from "Santa" and a stocking (Chris insisted). After church they opened their family gifts. It was exhausting but neat.

Since than not much has been going on. The pets all got sick but everyone is feeling better. Chris and I went to Albuquerque for a few days and now we are back. I have a surgery coming up in a week in a half (it shouldn't be too serious... we just don't really know what is going on and so it makes it hard to plan) so things have been a challenge for me getting along. Nevertheless we are all having fun just being together and I'm so enjoying everyone (including the new kitten). I'm pretty blessed and there is something about Christmas that helps me remember that!


Below are some fun moments from Christmas eve and day!