This past week I've been filled with anxiety about the surgery tomorrow. I don't know why. I've gone through so much this shouldn't be phasing me AT ALL, but it is. The ironic part about it is that since I've been through so much the people closest to me (mom and Chris) are like WHATEVER. That just makes me feel very ugh about everything. Miriam I think has been a bright spot. She keeps it in perspective: this is going to suck but it will be good when all is said and done.
So to make the most of it I tried to have quality time with each of the kids. Unfortunately my new kitten needed shots, I had to switch vehicles (Chris blew out my rack & pinion so I've been in a rental), and a bunch of other stuff. Still Harm and I went to Barnes & Nobles, and we picked out books for the twins and he got the newest Thomas magazine. In the afternoon and evening I spent some time with each of the twins.
It was a delight spending this wonderful time with my babies. I hope I'm don't disappear or that I'm out of it. I worry about how that affects the kids and Harm especially has had to see me go through a lot. The funny thing about all this special time I had today. It made me think, "gee why don't I do this more?"