Sunday, September 30, 2012

War and Peace

When I decided I was going to have 2 children I really hoped for a boy secretly.  I did that b/c my husband is best friends with his brothers and my brothers are very close as well.  I wanted Harm to have a brother.  These two couldn't be closer.


I couldn't come up with a name for a second name for a little boy except Brighton.  Chris hated Brighton.  So I went searching for a new boys name.  I found Callum on nymbler.com when I put the name Harmon in.  It meant peace. Harm's name meant war.  So my boys are: War and Peace.  Yes, I am that bad of a literary nerd.  For the most part their names have been a little prophetic... well until the school year started!


Harmon:

Harm is doing so well.  We started him into a private pre-school program that integrates his  special needs therapy.  It has been great.  I really think the teachers are doing more here than the teachers at the schools.  They are teaching Harm self-regulation.  If he needs oral-motor stimulation he has cards he can choose from and do something like chewing on a special pencil chewer or put a spicy candy in his mouth.  They are working on eye contact, speech, listening, etc.  They are amazing.

I was really worried how this would go.  The biggest difference between his school now and and his old school is that this program is fully integrated.  There are a handful like Harm who have special needs and there were all types of special needs kids.  In this school Rachel and Harm are the most severe.  Other than them there are a few speech delayed kids or motor wise but MOST are typical peers.

He does great!  He was the only new kid in his class and they picked on him a little the first week.  Than Friday the boys all had a race and Harm won.  After that he was cool and he still wins a lot of the races.  I still worry some days he is going to get written up for getting out of sorts and attacking.  There is a no tolerance policy for things like biting and hitting.  The other day he told me: "I got a note but it is bad... I'm not going to show you."  Of course he finally showed me and it was for talking!  Not biting, or yelling but just talking during class!!!  It was awesome :) 

He is so special to me.  I remember the days I worked full time and he was a little baby.  He went everywhere with me.  To this day he is always the child who knows me best.  The last time I was not feeling well, he sat in my bedroom drawing.  When Daddy asked him to come play with him he said "No I'm playing with my mom".  Later that day I told him how nice it was that he came to stay with me and he told me: mommy it is my job to protect and take care of you.  Other times he will tell me, "when Daddy is working late I'm the man of the house!"

At home he is really stepping into a great leadership role.  We still have some really tough days where he is just out of sorts but he is doing his chores, doing extra chores, helping me, protecting his brother and sister in school, and so forth.  It is neat to see how well he is doing.  I have always known Harmon is an amazing wonderful but now it is nice to see everyone else in this world of his is seeing that!


Callum:

Callum is not happy with Mommy!  In fact he is downright miserable.  He has been giving me nothing but total Hell for sending him to school.  I don't blame him.  If I could stay home and play all day I would totally choose that.  I guess with Rachel she is getting over her school sickness but Callum is still mad at me.

The thing is that Callum isn't 3 yet for his adjusted age.  He was supposed to be born on October 24.  I think he is going through the terrible 2's just a little late.  He is always my laid back baby who is perfectly chillax most days.  That is not him these days.  He loves to tease and taunt his very sensitive brother and sister.  He refuses to wear the clothes I pick for him (another Rachel) and he throws everything.  First kid of mine to ever throw his dinner plate in protest.  (He was in big trouble).  School is having likewise problems.  He won't even sit with us at the movies.  He is like a moody teenager.


The funny thing is that he is a quiet genius.  He always knows the answer to everything if he cares to put the time into answering.  Problem is he would rather walk to the beat of his own drum.  He is still just as musical.  His favorite singer is train.  Yes he is that kid who can sing an entire verse of 50 Ways to Say Goodbye: "She was caught in a mudslide, Eaten by a lion, Got run over by a crappy purple Scion, Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes..."  He hates sports but oddly enough he is great at it.  Again, those skills like throwing, catching and kicking a ball are better than some kids a year or two older.

My favorite thing is his sense of humor these days.  Him and I have a special connection.  No matter how mad he is at me he loves to laugh.  We do silly faces together.  We have inside jokes like: "you're a jumbo pizza"  "no you're jumbo pizza"  We can argue that one for ten minutes.  I love to whisper him things like "I love you".  He always whispers "I love you" right back.  I know he is going through a lot of change but that is one special boy.  Hopefully he won't be mad at me forever.
(This is after his first hair cut, don't worry it was only a trim!  He is my surfer boy always!)

I knew I shoulda tooke that left turn...

I live my life a lot like Bugs Bunny.  He burrows underground and just pops out quickly to see what is going on and than burrows again.  He often gets lost.  That is me, it is crazy but it is sort of fun!  I think I should win the inconsistent blogging award!  Lets see what happened: Rachel got into the DD-Pre, Harmon is getting exited from Speech therapy, Cally is going through the terrible twos finally, and so on... let me catch everyone up.


Health wise I'm fine which really means I'M GREAT!!!  It feels good to be myself again.  Surgery went well and those problems are gone, no amoebas, and my head doesn't hurt as it has been since the accident.  I'm getting my bearings being normal again and I'm happy.  

Chris and I traveled to Phoenix last week.  I scored an interview for a really neat graduate program at ASU.  I have good shot at it but it is a highly competitive program so nothing is guaranteed.  I want this so bad but I'm struggling to balance all I have on my plate.  This program and 3 small children with my husband who also is drowning in his own work load... I just don't know if it would work.  During Rachel's IEP the Special Ed director asked why I was so tired and I told her about ASU and the program.  She sort of annoyingly said "well, children always come first"... 


I wanted to deck her but she does have a point.  My babies are not babies!!  They are all kids now.  They are totally big kids and their needs are as all encompassing as they were when they were babies.  It is just different.  Balance!!!  Things are going well with the company and it is growing a lot.  Who knows there might some moving soon :wink:  I'm going to have to figure out a way to do it all but I might need to think more on it.  So I don't know what I will do.  


Things are good though.  I am going to try today to take some time and post a special post about an update for each of the kids and do some fun Halloween posts.  It's time again :)  I will be in Albuquerque this Friday and Saturday for more adventures.  This time the kids get to come. 

Sunday, September 16, 2012

No School for the Queen Bee!

Harmon and I have something in common, we are incredible super nerds who love school.    Today he asked me if tomorrow was Monday and he could go to school.  That is when Rachel made it very clear: "I don't want to go to school!!!!!"


This wasn't just a passing moment.  Every single time Chris drops her off at school in the morning she just holds onto him for dear life.  She gets so upset.  When I go to pick her up she grasps onto me with the Rachel death grip and won't let go.  She really just is not happy there.  



The funny thing about this is that she is just totally the most popular girl in the school. According to the people there the other kids think she is just a little doll.  All the little girls (and a boy) from her class and Harm's class just follow her around and compete for the spots next to her.  I kept hearing it but I didn't believe it until I saw it.  She got on a toy horse in a merry go round type toy and 5 kids crowded to be on the horses next to her.  It was pretty cute but I keep getting this fear that in a few years Rachel will be the next Regina George from Mean Girls.  Of course right now this isn't an issue.  Rachel is totally clueless that she is popular.  She just does her thing and is completely oblivious.  


On Friday she got a formal invitation to a special program to help her with her CP.  I'm sad though b/c now she will be in school all day and she doesn't want to be at school.  She just want to go home and be with her Miriam.  I keep thinking if I give her more time she will adjust but it has been over a month and now we have to add in a second program in the afternoon.  I almost want to tell Miriam: STOP don't get a new job, stay with us forever!  I just wish our little Queen Bee could stay at home and be a Princess Bee for a little longer.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Pink Flamingos drowned!


Our running gag birthday party for the twins is Pink Flamingos in the Pool because we always have a huge water themed party for them and when their birthday comes around all the Hawaiian Luau stuff goes on sale.  So this was our 2nd annual Flamingo bash for their very special 3rd birthday!



It really was a great party except it rained.  It rained the entire day.  It was 95 degrees the day before the party and than we had a high in the 60's the day of the party.  Needless to say we put away Rachel's custom flamingo bathing suit and brought out the jackets.  We all crowded inside while the kids bundled still made the water slide into a cool dry slide.


As I always joke I am a very Type A personality and so this was not an easy day for me at first but once I saw the happiness everyone had I loosened up.  My wonderful sister came in from Vegas, we had so many great friends and family there, but most importantly my babies were happy.  That is what matters for kid parties after all.  Cally kept saying "oh wow" every gift he got and Rachel pranced around singing "Pink Flamingos in the Pool!"  Everyone had a great time and it was a wonderful.  Not as planned but in an odd way it will always be much more memorable because of that :)









Dealing with the Mom Guilt!!!


There is a saying that Women can't do it all.  I don't know the answer to that.  I'm still figuring it all out but I sure am trying to prove whomever started that rumor wrong!  Oh it is so hard.  I'm so tired I practically fall asleep anytime I sit down.  I drank 3 sodas today.  I never drink 3 in a day.  

I'm trying to finish one goal: a new degree in English (my original studies were in theater) and I've been doing classes here and there but this semester is a full time thing but of course Chris keeps me busy with the company stuff.  Rachel just got approved for DDPre (developmentally delayed pre-school) and Physical Therapy.   Cally needs speech and will be starting at the University program Harm is still in.  It is like I'm living in a blender.  

So I feel guilty when I go to school.  I know I shouldn't.  I have done nothing but take care of everyone else.  It makes me wonder what I should do as the next step.  I have always had a lot of dreams and I think now is time.  I keep putting them off.  But how do I get over the mom guilt???

Monday, September 10, 2012

So much...


So much has happened since I posted last.  The twins turned 3!  I have a lot to post about that of course.  We had the party this weekend and later this week I'll share pictures.  What else???  Physically I feel really great.  Mind wise I feel pretty stressed.  Miriam is sort of moving on, I've been trying to get Rachel services for her CP, business is as usual, Harm started soccer again, Rachel is taking is still in gym/dance, Cally is just cute Cally, and oh I had this great idea to keep working towards a new degree in English by taking a literary theory course.  Yup, not maybe my best idea when everything is crazy.  But I'm recovered from surgery for the most part and life goes on.  

I'm amazed how much my kids keep me balanced though.  I feel like I'm going crazy and Cally will say "Hello Jumbo Pizza!"  Or Harmon will take me to his room, ask me to scratch his back, and tell him all the reasons why I love him.  Rachel is my buddy, she has started dressing me (not kidding) and I give it to her she has great fashion sense.  She always knows when I get tired and need a little bit of gentleness.  It is easy to feel overwhelmed but I'm starting to learn to just let it go.  Do the best I can and if my focus is on the little people in my life than the rest will take care of myself.  I promise I will put down my books and blog more.  Promise!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

War and Peace

When I decided I was going to have 2 children I really hoped for a boy secretly.  I did that b/c my husband is best friends with his brothers and my brothers are very close as well.  I wanted Harm to have a brother.  These two couldn't be closer.


I couldn't come up with a name for a second name for a little boy except Brighton.  Chris hated Brighton.  So I went searching for a new boys name.  I found Callum on nymbler.com when I put the name Harmon in.  It meant peace. Harm's name meant war.  So my boys are: War and Peace.  Yes, I am that bad of a literary nerd.  For the most part their names have been a little prophetic... well until the school year started!


Harmon:

Harm is doing so well.  We started him into a private pre-school program that integrates his  special needs therapy.  It has been great.  I really think the teachers are doing more here than the teachers at the schools.  They are teaching Harm self-regulation.  If he needs oral-motor stimulation he has cards he can choose from and do something like chewing on a special pencil chewer or put a spicy candy in his mouth.  They are working on eye contact, speech, listening, etc.  They are amazing.

I was really worried how this would go.  The biggest difference between his school now and and his old school is that this program is fully integrated.  There are a handful like Harm who have special needs and there were all types of special needs kids.  In this school Rachel and Harm are the most severe.  Other than them there are a few speech delayed kids or motor wise but MOST are typical peers.

He does great!  He was the only new kid in his class and they picked on him a little the first week.  Than Friday the boys all had a race and Harm won.  After that he was cool and he still wins a lot of the races.  I still worry some days he is going to get written up for getting out of sorts and attacking.  There is a no tolerance policy for things like biting and hitting.  The other day he told me: "I got a note but it is bad... I'm not going to show you."  Of course he finally showed me and it was for talking!  Not biting, or yelling but just talking during class!!!  It was awesome :) 

He is so special to me.  I remember the days I worked full time and he was a little baby.  He went everywhere with me.  To this day he is always the child who knows me best.  The last time I was not feeling well, he sat in my bedroom drawing.  When Daddy asked him to come play with him he said "No I'm playing with my mom".  Later that day I told him how nice it was that he came to stay with me and he told me: mommy it is my job to protect and take care of you.  Other times he will tell me, "when Daddy is working late I'm the man of the house!"

At home he is really stepping into a great leadership role.  We still have some really tough days where he is just out of sorts but he is doing his chores, doing extra chores, helping me, protecting his brother and sister in school, and so forth.  It is neat to see how well he is doing.  I have always known Harmon is an amazing wonderful but now it is nice to see everyone else in this world of his is seeing that!


Callum:

Callum is not happy with Mommy!  In fact he is downright miserable.  He has been giving me nothing but total Hell for sending him to school.  I don't blame him.  If I could stay home and play all day I would totally choose that.  I guess with Rachel she is getting over her school sickness but Callum is still mad at me.

The thing is that Callum isn't 3 yet for his adjusted age.  He was supposed to be born on October 24.  I think he is going through the terrible 2's just a little late.  He is always my laid back baby who is perfectly chillax most days.  That is not him these days.  He loves to tease and taunt his very sensitive brother and sister.  He refuses to wear the clothes I pick for him (another Rachel) and he throws everything.  First kid of mine to ever throw his dinner plate in protest.  (He was in big trouble).  School is having likewise problems.  He won't even sit with us at the movies.  He is like a moody teenager.


The funny thing is that he is a quiet genius.  He always knows the answer to everything if he cares to put the time into answering.  Problem is he would rather walk to the beat of his own drum.  He is still just as musical.  His favorite singer is train.  Yes he is that kid who can sing an entire verse of 50 Ways to Say Goodbye: "She was caught in a mudslide, Eaten by a lion, Got run over by a crappy purple Scion, Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes..."  He hates sports but oddly enough he is great at it.  Again, those skills like throwing, catching and kicking a ball are better than some kids a year or two older.

My favorite thing is his sense of humor these days.  Him and I have a special connection.  No matter how mad he is at me he loves to laugh.  We do silly faces together.  We have inside jokes like: "you're a jumbo pizza"  "no you're jumbo pizza"  We can argue that one for ten minutes.  I love to whisper him things like "I love you".  He always whispers "I love you" right back.  I know he is going through a lot of change but that is one special boy.  Hopefully he won't be mad at me forever.
(This is after his first hair cut, don't worry it was only a trim!  He is my surfer boy always!)

I knew I shoulda tooke that left turn...

I live my life a lot like Bugs Bunny.  He burrows underground and just pops out quickly to see what is going on and than burrows again.  He often gets lost.  That is me, it is crazy but it is sort of fun!  I think I should win the inconsistent blogging award!  Lets see what happened: Rachel got into the DD-Pre, Harmon is getting exited from Speech therapy, Cally is going through the terrible twos finally, and so on... let me catch everyone up.


Health wise I'm fine which really means I'M GREAT!!!  It feels good to be myself again.  Surgery went well and those problems are gone, no amoebas, and my head doesn't hurt as it has been since the accident.  I'm getting my bearings being normal again and I'm happy.  

Chris and I traveled to Phoenix last week.  I scored an interview for a really neat graduate program at ASU.  I have good shot at it but it is a highly competitive program so nothing is guaranteed.  I want this so bad but I'm struggling to balance all I have on my plate.  This program and 3 small children with my husband who also is drowning in his own work load... I just don't know if it would work.  During Rachel's IEP the Special Ed director asked why I was so tired and I told her about ASU and the program.  She sort of annoyingly said "well, children always come first"... 


I wanted to deck her but she does have a point.  My babies are not babies!!  They are all kids now.  They are totally big kids and their needs are as all encompassing as they were when they were babies.  It is just different.  Balance!!!  Things are going well with the company and it is growing a lot.  Who knows there might some moving soon :wink:  I'm going to have to figure out a way to do it all but I might need to think more on it.  So I don't know what I will do.  


Things are good though.  I am going to try today to take some time and post a special post about an update for each of the kids and do some fun Halloween posts.  It's time again :)  I will be in Albuquerque this Friday and Saturday for more adventures.  This time the kids get to come. 

Sunday, September 16, 2012

No School for the Queen Bee!

Harmon and I have something in common, we are incredible super nerds who love school.    Today he asked me if tomorrow was Monday and he could go to school.  That is when Rachel made it very clear: "I don't want to go to school!!!!!"


This wasn't just a passing moment.  Every single time Chris drops her off at school in the morning she just holds onto him for dear life.  She gets so upset.  When I go to pick her up she grasps onto me with the Rachel death grip and won't let go.  She really just is not happy there.  



The funny thing about this is that she is just totally the most popular girl in the school. According to the people there the other kids think she is just a little doll.  All the little girls (and a boy) from her class and Harm's class just follow her around and compete for the spots next to her.  I kept hearing it but I didn't believe it until I saw it.  She got on a toy horse in a merry go round type toy and 5 kids crowded to be on the horses next to her.  It was pretty cute but I keep getting this fear that in a few years Rachel will be the next Regina George from Mean Girls.  Of course right now this isn't an issue.  Rachel is totally clueless that she is popular.  She just does her thing and is completely oblivious.  


On Friday she got a formal invitation to a special program to help her with her CP.  I'm sad though b/c now she will be in school all day and she doesn't want to be at school.  She just want to go home and be with her Miriam.  I keep thinking if I give her more time she will adjust but it has been over a month and now we have to add in a second program in the afternoon.  I almost want to tell Miriam: STOP don't get a new job, stay with us forever!  I just wish our little Queen Bee could stay at home and be a Princess Bee for a little longer.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Pink Flamingos drowned!


Our running gag birthday party for the twins is Pink Flamingos in the Pool because we always have a huge water themed party for them and when their birthday comes around all the Hawaiian Luau stuff goes on sale.  So this was our 2nd annual Flamingo bash for their very special 3rd birthday!



It really was a great party except it rained.  It rained the entire day.  It was 95 degrees the day before the party and than we had a high in the 60's the day of the party.  Needless to say we put away Rachel's custom flamingo bathing suit and brought out the jackets.  We all crowded inside while the kids bundled still made the water slide into a cool dry slide.


As I always joke I am a very Type A personality and so this was not an easy day for me at first but once I saw the happiness everyone had I loosened up.  My wonderful sister came in from Vegas, we had so many great friends and family there, but most importantly my babies were happy.  That is what matters for kid parties after all.  Cally kept saying "oh wow" every gift he got and Rachel pranced around singing "Pink Flamingos in the Pool!"  Everyone had a great time and it was a wonderful.  Not as planned but in an odd way it will always be much more memorable because of that :)









Dealing with the Mom Guilt!!!


There is a saying that Women can't do it all.  I don't know the answer to that.  I'm still figuring it all out but I sure am trying to prove whomever started that rumor wrong!  Oh it is so hard.  I'm so tired I practically fall asleep anytime I sit down.  I drank 3 sodas today.  I never drink 3 in a day.  

I'm trying to finish one goal: a new degree in English (my original studies were in theater) and I've been doing classes here and there but this semester is a full time thing but of course Chris keeps me busy with the company stuff.  Rachel just got approved for DDPre (developmentally delayed pre-school) and Physical Therapy.   Cally needs speech and will be starting at the University program Harm is still in.  It is like I'm living in a blender.  

So I feel guilty when I go to school.  I know I shouldn't.  I have done nothing but take care of everyone else.  It makes me wonder what I should do as the next step.  I have always had a lot of dreams and I think now is time.  I keep putting them off.  But how do I get over the mom guilt???

Monday, September 10, 2012

So much...


So much has happened since I posted last.  The twins turned 3!  I have a lot to post about that of course.  We had the party this weekend and later this week I'll share pictures.  What else???  Physically I feel really great.  Mind wise I feel pretty stressed.  Miriam is sort of moving on, I've been trying to get Rachel services for her CP, business is as usual, Harm started soccer again, Rachel is taking is still in gym/dance, Cally is just cute Cally, and oh I had this great idea to keep working towards a new degree in English by taking a literary theory course.  Yup, not maybe my best idea when everything is crazy.  But I'm recovered from surgery for the most part and life goes on.  

I'm amazed how much my kids keep me balanced though.  I feel like I'm going crazy and Cally will say "Hello Jumbo Pizza!"  Or Harmon will take me to his room, ask me to scratch his back, and tell him all the reasons why I love him.  Rachel is my buddy, she has started dressing me (not kidding) and I give it to her she has great fashion sense.  She always knows when I get tired and need a little bit of gentleness.  It is easy to feel overwhelmed but I'm starting to learn to just let it go.  Do the best I can and if my focus is on the little people in my life than the rest will take care of myself.  I promise I will put down my books and blog more.  Promise!