Our little family has had a loooong week. Every thing is challenging when your kids have missed 5 days of school and I'm on my second sinus infection in 30 days. I was moping yesterday afternoon when I began to look at pictures...
Holding Cally for the first time...
Rachel too sick to be held for the first week b/c she was on the respirator! I looked at these pictures and than I looked all around me. My bed had been invaded by critters. Instead of tubes and small babies I had little twins calling me "Sweet Baboo" and "Jumbo Pizza'. Everyone is all sick so they hang out in my bed just being silly. It hit me we are so blessed! 2012 sucked but we are all here on the 2013 side safe and together. All my losses were indeed made whole.
Today I received a text. Chris older brother, the doctor one, had his baby early at 32 weeks. His name is Justin and he is in stable but critical condition. He is being airlifted to Albuquerque from Farmington NM because he is struggling to breathe. In my heart I think little baby Justin is going to be just fine but that doesn't minimize the Hell my brother and sister-in-law are going through. The sadness their older children are feeling. The fact that mommy had to stay in Farmington because she had a major surgery and Daddy is in Albuquerque. My heart breaks for them.
There is a little girl, her name is Riley. Right after Christmas she got very sick contracting meningitis. She is still in the pedi-ICU. She just started waking from her coma and is moving her little ever so slightly. It is a miracle. When her brain started to bleed they worried she would never walk or talk or anything. Each small milestone is just amazing. I think of her every day. I can just imagine how wonderful that day will be for her and still rough. This is her blog if you want to be inspired: http://hopperhousehold.blogspot.com
Another close friend of mine lost her baby boy right before he was too be born during the holidays. I can't imagine her sorrow. She was so excited and we were so excited for her. Last night at midnight she texted me, her fiancé and her set a date for next month to be married. She has and older daughter who is Harm's friend. She is an angel. Her son was named Carson and although we never met him really I know he was very special as well
My brother's wife lost her dad the day after Christmas. We attended the funeral last week. It was rough just seeing how sad my beautiful sister in law Marlena was. Her Dad was a cool guy and having lost her Mom to Cancer when she was much younger my heart breaks that her dad couldn't be here a few more years. He lived a good life and will never be forgotten.
Finally in March when I was very sick a friend of mine got diagnosed with advanced placenta previa and she lost her little baby boy (and they almost lost her). It broke my heart for her. His name was Jack and he saved his mammas' life. I don't think I will ever go a week with out thinking of them. I can just how beautiful and wonder he was.
I do not understand why some kids come into this world only to leave it before they ever could see anything. I don't get why babies like mine and many of these other babies suffer so much. It is heartbreaking for me to see so many wonderful families struggle these last few weeks.
I do not pretend to understand why these things happen. I do know that it has made me more aware how beautiful life is! If you believe in prayer please think of Riley and Justin and remember little angel babies Jack and Carson. As well as my sister in law and her family that peace might follow them through this difficult loss.
I remember what it was like to sit in a hospital scared if I would lose my babies or not. To go to lunch and everything and than go back to the NICU because of complications. With all the pain Rachel's CP has meant for her and we are scared to see about Cally's palate I know this will be a life long process. But my little cupcake twins and of course my little Harmon are my lights and love!!! They amaze me and make me so proud. Life is hard but it is beautiful, even when you are roughing it in the weeds!