I've been realizing slowly (probably over the last year) that I put myself last. Before I got married I just hit life full force: career, fun, fashion, etc. That hasn't really been the case. While I wouldn't turn my family in for my old life any day (they are the best thing that has ever happened to me) I can't continually put my needs on hold. Chris doesn't. He is living his dream by being here in New Mexico and starting this business alongside his brothers; but I have. I've focused my talents and energies helping him building his dream business, caring for the kids, and just holding everything together.
I guess I just realize there will never be a good time to start pursuing my goals and dreams. So tomorrow I am stepping down from my obligations and later this week I'm starting a new full time opportunity that will bring me closer to my dreams. The kids will be fine, it won't affect them all that much. I've made it so that I will still be around a whole lot and I know Miriam will have their best needs when I can't be there; and I think (hope) Chris will be ready to step up to the plate more when he isn't at work.
It won't be easy but I know this is something that needs to be done. Life is too short to live with regret. I have always had a real respect for my friends and family who are following their dreams. I have friends who love and just really excel at being stay at home moms. I have other friends who are lawyers, teachers, etc. I have a brother who once had his own TV show and a sister managing Las Vegas shows. I'm proud of my husband who dared to follow his dreams. I don't think it matters what you do in life but it matters more that you are happy doing it! Now is my turn again to do that...
So what am I doing? Well for privacy I'm not sharing for now (although if you know me IRL you probably already know)... but one day I'll share with everyone ;) For now though lets just say it is a good change on the way!