Personal growth in the New Year....

The last five months have been interesting.  Since deciding not to attend ASU there have been a lot of ups and downs for me.

I'm still in a lot of limbo with everything in life.  I started my MBA this fall but I've come to realize this just isn't for me.  Sitting in a finance classes I considered that swallowing a large amount of D-Con might be less painful than trying to figure out how to estimate a firm's cost of capital.  I realized at that point I was doing it more to prove to other people that I could do it, that I was because I wanted to do it.  Since moving here to Las Cruces I have at times to meet other's expectations and the criticism I've been getting has been really hard at times.

Now I realize that the people who I owe to not let down, are my children and myself.  One thing that I am incredibly proud of was completing my first fiction piece.  It isn't quite done because I rewrite everything but I did submit it this Tuesday and with the help of some of my former professors it is solid.  I've been also started branching out on my own.  I started doing freelance marketing jobs and it has been a lot of fun.  I get to challenge myself to do what I do well, and become even better at it.

I have some big decisions to make soon as per my future and I am trying to not look backwards anymore.  Rather, I'm just working my tail off and trying to have faith that I will know the next steps I should take and take care of myself and my children first.  I like what Katy Perry said about writing her song "Roar".  At that time she didn't feel to great about herself so she wrote a song about being the women she wanted to be, someone she wanted to be, and than worked into becoming that person. That is where I'm at right now in my life.