]Today I got sad news that I would not be able to a few things that has given me joy for a while. It was a very big kick in the gut. Realistically I knew I would have to close the doors on certain things for a while in my life. I knew I would have to make hard choices but some of the choices got made for me and it was a kick in the gut. I wanted to be able to make the choice but considering circumstances I understand. It hurts still though.
In that sense I found out some good news as well. My kids were able to sneak into a tumble tots class and their cousin Troy is there with my wonderful Sister-In-Law Melissa. I got to eat lunch with my twins (Harm was at school) and Miriam, our nanny. We all just talked and laughed. She knew I was down but very supportive. It inspired me.
I've been taking classes for fun and it is fun! I write and hang out with theater geeks and English geeks; LIKE ME! I figured after the accident I would withdraw b/c there is too much on my plate but I hadn't done it yet. I went to my classes tonight and it was so much fun. I got my mind off the pain of the injuries, the stress of everything else, and just enjoyed being back. I felt empowered rather than just sitting around getting bad news, hearing how bad I look, and being in pain. The professors want to work with me which is so nice. It makes me wonder now that I will have more time after rehabilitation where to go and what to do..
Anyone who reads this blog probably has seen how I've been dipping in and out of changing things in my life. I start remolding things but get scared or feel guilted and go back to what pleases others and I know works. With the accident things have changed and I can't go back. I need to move forward. I've got great kids and I know that I'm not just doing this for me but for them as well. It is a lot to take in but I've got support and I'm not as scared anymore as I was. I feel determined that as I recover that I use this experience for good. Things happen for a reason and while I don't know the reason any person would have to fly off the freeway I'm hoping in time I can use what has happened and what I have lost as a spring point for new beginnings and a better life than perhaps I was settling for before the drama.