The problem is the old saying about the "green eyed monster" taking over. Yes. Each one is very competitive and hates it if one of the other kids get something they don't. For example, I took Miss Rachel to the pool for physical therapy and the boys were devastated they couldn't come.
If you were to ask them, it isn't fair! Mommy doesn't love us like she loves... In response to this issue I would try and be "fair" by giving everyone the equal amount of whatever it be: time, toy, outing, etc.
What I realized is that life isn't fair. I don't mean that negatively. Just in the manner that God doesn't treat us all the same. We are different people with different challenges, wants, and needs. By treating my kids all the same I wasn't addressing their specific needs. I realized it is okay to take the time or do something special for one and not doing it for everyone. The trick is that I focus on each child and look at each child addressing specifically what their needs are.
Callum doesn't need hours of physical therapy but he does love treats and needs someone to babble on with, so after I took Rachel to therapy I later took him to browse post-Valentine aisles at Walgreens. We munched on chocolacte and we chatted. Later the next morning Harmon needed help with his track and I used it as a chance to go over his "self regulation" therapy. We had a ton of fun and spent much of the time laughing.
So who do I love more? Well, I'm sure I'll be accused life long of favoritism; but now as a mom I understand what's it means to say that I love everyone as much as the other. What might seem to one child as favoritism, really, in our home is meeting each child's needs as an individual. The challenge I have as a mom is to make sure that I'm there for each one.
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