When I was first pregnant I joined a message board. Something I never had done. Now I'm on three (when I can be online not working) and it is a great way to learn about things about being a parent and sharing in challenges. One thing though is that I became aware how people view people more. I guess I'm a little nieve but I learned leashes on children were a big no no. Sweats through out the day, pigtails for mom and daughter at the same time, badly coordinated family pictures, matchy outfits for your boys, matchy outfits for your twins, etc. all are faux pauxs and all things I happen to do on occasion. Obviously I don't always care what other's think :p
One useful thing I did become aware of was that sometimes twin parents get really caught up in the experience of twins and they are not as mindful as they should of their other child (children). I guess the same thing could be said if you were a mom who dreamed of a girl and had boys first and than a girl (my husband was in this scenario and will always call his little sister who was born just after him "pet" b/c his mom was just overjoyed with Cami's arrival after 3 boys). The controversy with twins come because they naturally garner a lot of attention. People in stores will ignore Harm's existence and lavish the twins with comments and attention. In argument of it I think it has made me try harder not to just have "twin time". I don't want Harm feeling left out.
I realized though, Harm gets to do things they don't get to do and has had special times they will never have. He has traveled everywhere, got to have me as a "stay at home mom", later got to go to work with me everyday, etc. It goes back to the idea fair isn't the same thing for everyone.
So I've started taking the twins out just as twins. They love their little leashes and they are very mellow so I can handle them. Tomorrow I'm taking them to breakfast (while Chris and Harmon embark on an odder but nevertheless adventure of their own). It is fun seeing how they interact when they are alone together and it is fun interacting just the three of us. I think it is another important thing for us, especially as I'm more busy and home less. Next year they start pre-k probably 8:30 to 1 or 2. I'm not getting this special time back. So I'm doubling my fun here and there, while still making sure Harm is also having his special time.