Yesterday was just a great day. It wasn't anything particular, I was just on a roll. Callum was just doing great with his speech, had some good meetings, found a great cake for the twin's party, etc. It was just a peaceful good day for the most part. Today WASN'T!!!!
I woke up at 3 am in severe pain and couldn't fall asleep again till 6. I was late to an appointment, my inbox was a house of horrors, got in a drop dead drag out fight with Chris on the way to El Paso about expansion and football, they discontinued my 2 favorite meals at Panda Express (Barbecued Pork and Kung Pao Shrimp), my inlaws sprung a surprise family reunion on us for the weekend, we had to leave mid-meal at Chick-Fil-A b/c the kids were acting like wild baboons, etc. etc. etc. The worse part was I just didn't really spend any quality time with my critters. Seriously it was a bad day!
It just got me down. The final revelationI got a cook book tonight and Chris nicely said: you sure have a lot of those things. It hit me, I buy cookbooks all the time but HATE cooking. I've even joined online menu groups, planned meals, etc. but I don't like it. I don't even know what a Dutch Oven is and when Chris told me I had no desire to ever have one. I keep thinking if I keep buying these books I will suddenly wake up Betty Crocker but it isn't going to happen.
I think days like this I just start getting down on myself. I feel like I'm just not doing anything in my life very well. I'm balancing so much but it seems like nothing is quite up to my standards. I know that I'm being unrealistic and I know tomorrow these feelings will dissipate. Kids are not always going to be perfect angels. Good mother's are not judged by how well they cook. Just b/c Chris and I might not see eye to eye on every matter doesn't mean my reasoning isn't valid. I know these things, but right now, tonight I just don't feel like I'm doing that great.
I'm going to take some extra meds, have a good night sleep, and go from there. Life is always better in the morning... well after 10 am (I'm not a good morning person the first few hours I'm awake).