After meeting on Tuesday for Harmon I came in for today's special assement for Rachel filled with hope. I just knew these were the best professionals in the state and I just felt they would put my worries about my precious little girl at ease. Instead when all was said and done we learned that Rachel has a definitive diagnoses for Cerebral Palsy.
It makes sense now. Her reluctance towards people were that she was scared unfamiliar people would hurt her b/c her body is so sensitive. The shaking in the NICU and the first few months. Those crazy early milestones were not great signs but instead signs of a body and a mind not connecting. The high heel walking with the out turned feet, the arching of the back, the falling, etc. They missed these signs at Carrie Tingley b/c she had just started walking the week before. It was just bad timing. I'm mad at myself for knowing something was wrong but not doing more.
It is interesting though. They said she is doing amazingly well all things considered. She does things so age appropriate even though it is hard b/c she has a determination and a spirit so ready to learn. They were just astounded by how smart she was and what a great girl she is. I know that. Rachel is one in a million and I thank God for her everyday. She is such a special little girl. My pint-sized super hero.
If anyone can overcome this burden and prove every specialist and doctor wrong it is her. I'm just sad she has to do it b/c I know what it is like to be held back physically and it isn't fun. Today I've been crying while Chris has been an amazing source of support. We are letting the shock and sadness wear off. Many people on my Mom's boards have shared inspiring stories and it has touched my heart that so many of my friends through Facebook and here at home reached out.
I told myself by Monday I need to just get over it and focus on helping her overcome this. Chris said we can't throw in the towel. It is our job to be positive and not let this ever get Rachel down. This doesn't define the wonderful person she is and what amazing things she will do in her life. I know he is right and knowing Rachel she thinks the same thing.