Sunday, February 8, 2015

UGH... Valentines...

It's interesting because despite achieving my life long goal of being the crazy old single lady across the street with two many cats I never seem to be alone on Valentines.   Of the 15 yrs since I was 18 I've had a boy for a good 12 of those years.  But that's not the point.  Together or alone there is something about this holiday that sucks for me.


This year is no different.  I know my husband loves me but ever since we got together it has always been a stressful working day.  I remember our first Valentines 8 yrs ago he bought me gold earrings and Bob our cat ate one of them.  That night we both had classes and work until 9:00 pm and with him in construction that meant it was home for him and straight to bed.  Since than Valentines is always been about extended family (we have the most awesome niece born that day who is having her LDS Baptism that day.)  As much as I hate to admit it I'm never going to get swept off my feet by that man.  He is just not that way.  He loves me but I will always be somewhere in between the kids, the company, his cell phone and NetFlix.   That's how modern marriage I feel is these days.  We don't have time for Cinderella balls and gestures because we're all to busy dealing with real life and trying to stay sane.



So this year I'm officially canceling the expectations of love and romance.  I'll admit I was raised to be a romantic at heart and screw the Disney princess lies, I'm not going to succumb to them any longer!  My friend was selling Valentines buckets as a fundraiser for her gym team kids.  So I got that.  I might go and pick up a gun for Chris because he wants one.  Otherwise I'm done.  I will not make Hallmark rich.  I will not pretend that I will have grand romance or even appreciation for all I do.  I will probably be studying about prostitutes that day (my thesis project).  Yes, I'm grumpy but I don't care.  Low expectations means low disappointment.  For now, I quit.


2 comments:

  1. Wow, Francisca! This article is heartbreaking, but it tells me a bit more about you than it does your husband. We used to be in the same ward, and I have never seen your husband be nothing but sweet and loving toward you. Don't you two go on trips and getaways...just the two of you? I certainly don't do that. We have never celebrated Valentines Day (in the traditional sense). It isn't about a day. It is about EVERYDAY. The sweet things they say and do. The way they go out of their way for you.
    Now, maybe you crave consistent romance and I suppose there is nothing wrong with that. That is probably more of a personality trait (one that I am sure Chris loves). However, I would never publicly post something so negative about my spouse for the world to see. Especially since I KNOW that my husband would never speak ill of me to anyone.
    You may go on to talk about how he has fooled everyone into thinking that he is a good husband, but no one can say that they are a good wife if they are willing to post like this on a blog that all of their friends and family read. My husband works almost EVERY holiday as well. But I MAKE romance happen. My hubby tries so hard (even if his tries are a bit off the mark), but I make up the difference. I will have my husband's back for all time and eternity. It is what I signed up for, and I love my "job!"
    I hope you decide to have a great Valentines Day!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nothing says "I love you" more than buying a weapon for a mentally unstable and abusive husband. But instead of "I love you", let's be real and substitute it with "the next family tragedy to end up on the local news". Your children deserve more.

    ReplyDelete

Sunday, February 8, 2015

UGH... Valentines...

It's interesting because despite achieving my life long goal of being the crazy old single lady across the street with two many cats I never seem to be alone on Valentines.   Of the 15 yrs since I was 18 I've had a boy for a good 12 of those years.  But that's not the point.  Together or alone there is something about this holiday that sucks for me.


This year is no different.  I know my husband loves me but ever since we got together it has always been a stressful working day.  I remember our first Valentines 8 yrs ago he bought me gold earrings and Bob our cat ate one of them.  That night we both had classes and work until 9:00 pm and with him in construction that meant it was home for him and straight to bed.  Since than Valentines is always been about extended family (we have the most awesome niece born that day who is having her LDS Baptism that day.)  As much as I hate to admit it I'm never going to get swept off my feet by that man.  He is just not that way.  He loves me but I will always be somewhere in between the kids, the company, his cell phone and NetFlix.   That's how modern marriage I feel is these days.  We don't have time for Cinderella balls and gestures because we're all to busy dealing with real life and trying to stay sane.



So this year I'm officially canceling the expectations of love and romance.  I'll admit I was raised to be a romantic at heart and screw the Disney princess lies, I'm not going to succumb to them any longer!  My friend was selling Valentines buckets as a fundraiser for her gym team kids.  So I got that.  I might go and pick up a gun for Chris because he wants one.  Otherwise I'm done.  I will not make Hallmark rich.  I will not pretend that I will have grand romance or even appreciation for all I do.  I will probably be studying about prostitutes that day (my thesis project).  Yes, I'm grumpy but I don't care.  Low expectations means low disappointment.  For now, I quit.


2 comments:

  1. Wow, Francisca! This article is heartbreaking, but it tells me a bit more about you than it does your husband. We used to be in the same ward, and I have never seen your husband be nothing but sweet and loving toward you. Don't you two go on trips and getaways...just the two of you? I certainly don't do that. We have never celebrated Valentines Day (in the traditional sense). It isn't about a day. It is about EVERYDAY. The sweet things they say and do. The way they go out of their way for you.
    Now, maybe you crave consistent romance and I suppose there is nothing wrong with that. That is probably more of a personality trait (one that I am sure Chris loves). However, I would never publicly post something so negative about my spouse for the world to see. Especially since I KNOW that my husband would never speak ill of me to anyone.
    You may go on to talk about how he has fooled everyone into thinking that he is a good husband, but no one can say that they are a good wife if they are willing to post like this on a blog that all of their friends and family read. My husband works almost EVERY holiday as well. But I MAKE romance happen. My hubby tries so hard (even if his tries are a bit off the mark), but I make up the difference. I will have my husband's back for all time and eternity. It is what I signed up for, and I love my "job!"
    I hope you decide to have a great Valentines Day!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nothing says "I love you" more than buying a weapon for a mentally unstable and abusive husband. But instead of "I love you", let's be real and substitute it with "the next family tragedy to end up on the local news". Your children deserve more.

    ReplyDelete