Rachel and Harm are driven more than most children I've known. Harm didn't just want to learn and read picture books but he was determined to read Jr Novels; Rachel was told this month she needed to learn the splits so all month and even though it hurt she pushed herself (I told her not to worry) and can do the splits well. It amazes me because as a child I didn't remember being that way. It worries me though because if they are both determined to always be the best what will they do when perfection isn't obtained. Will Rachel still love the joy of the dance even if she wobbles on a jump? For it is that joy of just doing that makes life happy and worth living.
This is where I my spouse and I come in. I see it easier with Chris (because it is always easier to see it in others than yourself), but when he started the company he told me once things settled it would get easier. Than as success came the stress and preoccupation of needing to grow the business and continue to succeed grew. Now with twenty employes and two cities the pressure to be perfect is constantly stalking day and night my husband's heart.
I'm not any better. It isn't just the big things like my writing that consumes me but I will fret over my fresh blow out and consider skipping the pool when the kids want me to swim with them because I don't want to look funny later on in the day.
I don't blame myself that my kids are mini-perfectionist because the fact is that if it was the case we wouldn't have cool as a cucumber Cally. It is a drive deep in our hearts. But I do believe by being easier on myself I will teach my kids that they need to be easier on themselves. By trying even when I might fail and not missing out because I'm worried what others will think I will teach them not to worry in the same way.
In life it doesn't matter if you are in the chorus or the prima ballerina, what matters is the joy of dancing,