Yes, I did it! I did the unthinkable! I forgot to pick my daughter up from school yesterday. It wasn't that bad. The students are officially out at 2:30 and I realized at 2:29 that I had forgotten that I needed to pick her up. So I broke a few speeding rules and perhaps made a few jaywalkers think twice about their unruly behavior but I got to the school at 2:40.
Now if Rachel had been a teenager one might think 10 minutes is no big deal but when you have a wee three year old, it is a big deal. I was apologizing to her teacher profusely and the teacher teased me: "don't worry, you only big black mark on your record now".
My heart sank. "But, I'm so sorry... I am trying the best I can". Rachel's teacher saw my distress and replied she was only teasing. Still I felt bad. Than we started talking about what it is like to be a working parent. That occasion taught me some valuable lessons. First of which, I'm not alone. Second, that I am a good mom.
The idea of feeling like you have to do everything and because you are doing everything nothing is up to the standards you wish they were at. That is how I feel. I feel like my work gets the short end of the stick and so do my kids. I don't have time for PTA's or Field Trips and as much as I hate to admit it I'm the mom who leaves her kid's work in their back pack for a month. I think of all I could do work wise if I wasn't always tied up with IEP meetings and doctor's appointments.
In talking with her teacher I realized something though. We may feel as parents we don't do enough but you have to give yourself a break. Are my kids well fed, happy, well behaved, and clean? ALWAYS! Is my home always clean, do I have home cooked meals piping hot at the stove, or is my work desk free of paper piles and my inbox empty? NEVER!!!
I'm learning the hard way that I continually have to put my existence into perspective. After the accident the people who helped with our kids told me how well behaved and kind my kids are. I couldn't believe it, thinking maybe these friends and family members had my kids or alien pod children; but after I was released from the trauma center after a week of being gone I went home and indeed they were my children.
Since that experience my perspective has changed a lot. The kids all do wonderfully in school and their teachers adore them. Recently the district had a Fall Break and so I signed the kids up for a day camp. When I went to pick them up the women in charge told me she was so worried about them because the minimum age for the kids was six (which they forgot to mention in the letter) and the twins were barely three. Nevertheless my babies she told me were the best in the class as per behavior. Another lady mentioned she calls Rachel, "the please and thank you" girl because she always is saying "please" and "thank you".
I wish I could say this was all me. It isn't! I have an amazing support group. The children's school, Rachel's DD-Pre class, family, friends, different early intervention therapists, and of course my WONDERFUL Miriam (yes she still is their nanny even though we said we would be parting soon) all support the raising of my babies. I can't do it all but with a team like this behind me to support these children, my babies are turning out quite well. Part of being a good parent is to ensure when you can't be there that the kids have plenty of support.
Hillary Clinton said, "It takes a village to raise a child". I couldn't agree more. While I may never learn how to make a home cooked meal every night I do know how to be there for my children and when it comes down to it this is why God created Schwans food delivery!