Today was filled with a very nice surprise. My mom did the drive down to Cruces from El Paso and spent the late afternoon and evening with us.
I was already on my way to lunch with Chris when I got a text that my Mom was coming. She came weekly after the accident but since than we have all been getting back into our normal routines and I don't see her as much. So of course I dropped everything after lunch and it was a special afternoon. We went swimming in our pool with the critters and than I took her to dinner in Mesilla. We talked and laughed.
We also talked about how she wishes she had done more as a mom and I told her now that I'm a mom I realize how much harder it is to be there for children. My mom raised us in the midst of some serious things going on. I think as a child I didn't realize what she went through. I just thought about what how I wish she would be there for me. Now I realize that she really did do the best any mom could. I see what I go through and I know I'm trying but I realize how hard it is for my kids. They don't get why mom gets sick. Why mom goes to the hospital or takes so many pills. They don't understand when I'm pounding on my computer furiously struggling to make a deadline. They just want me to sit and play with them.
It makes me grateful I had a mom who tried so hard. She wasn't perfect but she tried and since the accident she has stayed by my side. It has meant so much to me. It teaches me two things which is: I hope my kids will understand one day why I can't always be there as I'm growing to understand and the second thing is that it makes me realize you never out grow the feeling of needing your mother! My mom in many ways never really had a mom and it amazes me how she handled such adversity and still raised us with such love.
Tonight when we were driving home my mom talked of faith and mentioned a song that she loves. She is not LDS but loves a hymn called "Come Thou Font". She mentioned when she dies she wants me to play this song for her. In my will I've asked for this same song to play at my funeral. I joked with her at this rate I might beat her. After all she is not that old honestly and she is so dang healthy I'm not too worried to lose her anytime soon, but it did remind me that losing your parents is part of life normally. It reminded me mainly how special the time we have here together is. I'm so grateful to have my mommy by my side helping me raise my kids.