First touches...

Callum sleeping with his boot in the air like he just don't care!

Rachel all tuckered out too.

Yesterday was probably one of the toughest days of my life. After having lived in a hospital for 2 months you think I would be just overjoyed to be home. I wasn't. I don't think any mother could be happy leaving two of her babies in the hospital. You feel like there is a big empty hole there. It doesn't help I have to pump every few hours. It just doesn't seem right trying to nurse babies you can't actually nurse. Add in that my feet look like elephant hoofs b/c of swelling... it was hard to put on that smile.

But smiling is something you do when you have a child at home. Harmon was just ecstatic to be home! That helped. Seeing him playing with his toys and play with Daddy made things bearable. I really have missed this little guy so much. It is good to see him; he is such a joy. Today was made better b/c Harmon is so cute. When we dropped him off at Grandma's to see the twins he was adorable sitting by the front window waiting for us to come back and take us home. That little guy amazes me how forgiving he has been to us for not being here like we were.

Another joy was the twins. Chris and I both got to hold Callum and Rachel for the first time ever. I remember when I got to the NICU today she asked me if I was ready to hold Rachel. I was so scared b/c she is so small and hooked up to all of this equipment. At first she cried and fussed but after a minute she calmed and just fell asleep. It was just awesome to finally hold her for the first time. Chris was jealous when I told him on the phone I had held her but he got his turn when we returned back this evening. This time he held little Callum and I think he was as nervous as I was holding Rachel; but just like last time he calmed in Chris' arms. It is so wierd what we take for granted. Holding your own children is such a gift.

Daddy holding his boy for the first time.

For milestones they are doing great. Both are on the CPAP and have had their umbilical lines taken out. Callum had his first feeds today. It was 1 ml but to him that was a lot. Rachel will hopefully start eating soon as well. Physically I think I might be overdoing things a little. I need to rest a little more but that is hard to do when you have 3 kids ;)