So this morning I realized something. Us moms, LOVE to play martyr. My mom is still an excellent example of this. I have followed in her footsteps. With all the stress and drama that has unfolded these last few weeks I've started to stay up at night worrying. Despite all the real things I have to get done I spend time organizing bottles and picking out everyone's outfits for the next day. I realized last night at 2 am I was so overtired from EVERYTHING that my body just hurt, especially where I had my surgery.
For the 2nd time in a row this week I was in so much pain and so stressed I had to take a sleeping pill. But did I sleep in? NO! I wanted to make French Toast for Chris. It isn't Chris' fault. Friday he tried to send me to a Spa but they were all full so instead he sent me for a pedi/mani and let me get my hair done. He really tries to give me "me" time. He tried all weekend to let me sleep in but I feel guilty when I hear the 3 ring circus outside my room. I hear someone crying... I imagine Harmon trying to get Daddy to give him pizza for breakfast... I wonder what the heck Chris is putting Rachel in for clothing... I worry little Cally is lonely... and I just have to get up and go take charge.
I don't like to give up control. I've always been that way. Ever since I can remember, I always have to have everything "just right" when it is something important; and we all know there is nothing more important than these kids! With that said I need to learn to relax and just let Chris do his thing on the weekends. I need to take some time to care for myself. So tomorrow I am sleeping in... PROMISE! That man is on his own w/this motley crew!
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