Our Last Ad!

The company is going in a new direction so this is the last "family themed" ad that I will design for the HB as far as I can foresee. It just seems like people in our town don't read the Real Estate section of the newspaper to make it worth while (we are the last of the major companies in town to still run ads in the paper).

This is a sad milestone for me, I've loved designing these ads b/c it is my family :( We started using our kids for the ads when I first starting in marketing for HB. Everyone wanted a family feel to the advertising but we didn't want to pay money for models so my brother-in-law thought it would be cool to use us. At first it was awkward and I never liked having me in the ads but I did love seeing Chris, Harmon, and later the twins. Oh well, at least the kids won't have to worry about being so recognizable now on the street.

Taking time for Mom...

So this morning I realized something. Us moms, LOVE to play martyr. My mom is still an excellent example of this. I have followed in her footsteps. With all the stress and drama that has unfolded these last few weeks I've started to stay up at night worrying. Despite all the real things I have to get done I spend time organizing bottles and picking out everyone's outfits for the next day. I realized last night at 2 am I was so overtired from EVERYTHING that my body just hurt, especially where I had my surgery.

For the 2nd time in a row this week I was in so much pain and so stressed I had to take a sleeping pill. But did I sleep in? NO! I wanted to make French Toast for Chris. It isn't Chris' fault. Friday he tried to send me to a Spa but they were all full so instead he sent me for a pedi/mani and let me get my hair done. He really tries to give me "me" time. He tried all weekend to let me sleep in but I feel guilty when I hear the 3 ring circus outside my room. I hear someone crying... I imagine Harmon trying to get Daddy to give him pizza for breakfast... I wonder what the heck Chris is putting Rachel in for clothing... I worry little Cally is lonely... and I just have to get up and go take charge.

I don't like to give up control. I've always been that way. Ever since I can remember, I always have to have everything "just right" when it is something important; and we all know there is nothing more important than these kids! With that said I need to learn to relax and just let Chris do his thing on the weekends. I need to take some time to care for myself. So tomorrow I am sleeping in... PROMISE! That man is on his own w/this motley crew!

Involuntary Smiles...

I have a friend who blogs and she talks about "Involuntary Smiles". She defines them loosely as spontaneous smiles that just HAPPEN when something unexpected makes us smile. If we really look at our days I think she is right. You have tons of oppourtunites for these moments!!!

I've been a little whiney these last few weeks between all that has been going on in my home: illness, injury, obligation, sleep deprivation, etc. I've kind of felt life has been kicking my a**! Today I realized mid-day that it was time I stop the complaining and started thinking positive. That is when this concept of "Involuntary Smiles" came to mind. I started thinking all the times in my day that I am happy and it made me realize how blessed I am. It really is the little things...

Just today there were so many hard things but so many smiles!!!

~Harm jumping into my arms splashing me in pool class

~Cally w/a face full of green beans

~Rachy standing in her crib waiting for me to find her this morning

~Opening my Coke at lunch time or having a small scoop of ice cream for desert

~Chris texting me that he misses me

~Seeing a big smile on my kid's faces as they play w/their toys

~Taking a nice warm shower

~Heck NOT ONE of the kids or I have gotten Chris' plague... That is a big smile ;)

I could go on and on. They happen all day, every day. Life is never all bad! I think the key for me is just stopping to appreciate and remember these moments rather than rushing by. I get so busy and stressed. My kids are growing fast. I need to appreciate these special times with them and I need to appreciate the good things I have in life w/0 them. I just need to let myself appreciate life more!

Welcome the plague! (Bad Omens)

Maybe it is b/c I am half Puerto Rican but I've always been hugely superstitious. Last night was a lovely evening and we really had such a good time. We got the kids to bed early and I wrapped up everything and got into bed by 10:30. But I couldn't sleep... I just had a HORRIBLE feeling something bad was coming. I took a sleeping pill... it didn't work... so I took another... I finally drifted off into a Benadryl stupor when I awoke to the oh so HORRIBLE wretching noise... BLAH! Poor Chris got soooo sick and has spent the whole day in bed today or worse. His whole family has been passing around this horrendous stomach virus (so far 7 have come down with it) and so now I just have this horrible feeling of a new foreboding: I CAN'T GET SICK!!!!! Or worse, my Nanny better not get sick!!!! Or even WORSE THAN THAT what would happen if we both got sick???? Or the most worse scenario at all WHAT IF THE KIDS GET SICK????? Hopefully this is just silly worrying not another omen... just in case I washed all our emergency crib/tot bed sheets so I am prepared for the worse.

So if you are wondering if having Chris sick was bad for me? YES, yes it was! I am so spoiled at night that he deals w/colicky Callum (he gets lonely in his crib). Between Callum, and being worried about Chris I think I slept 3 hrs. Today was logjammed w/appointments and "must do's" so there was no time to feel sorry for myself and of course Harm woke me up at the butt crack of dawn (obviously he went to bed way way too early last night). I've got through everything in a coma. In fact I didn't realize I had Harm's poop on my pants until a few hrs after it happend. Chris is feeling better and it was cute having him call me on my cell phone each time he wanted fresh Gatorade ;) I will miss him tomorrow. But I got through everything, the kids show NO signs of illness, and neither do I so I am VERY grateful. Hopefully the plague is over!!!!

Doing his own thing...

I sometimes don't post as much on Cally as I do the others b/c well he is just "doing his own thing". He is the type of little guy who would be perfectly happy sitting on my lap all day just chilling and watching TV. Cally is doing very well w/his milestones though. He is making strides towards sitting and crawling! He is also is verbalizing much more than Rachel is. I think our family might have our first real "talker". His breathing is much better and his torticallis is almost gone. I love my sweet Cally so much b/c he is so cuddly and has the best laugh. All you have to do is make a cute face or say something cute and he nearly passes out w/laughter. Our house is a special place b/c of him!

Oh and here is a picture of Rachel pulling up. I finally remembered to snap it. They are getting too big too stinkin fast :(

A little about my Chris!

It is interesting b/c parents of multiples have something like 60% divorce rate while parents of kids with special needs have a rate of 80%. Add in a the fact that we are sort of wrapped up in the all consuming family business and have personalities that go together like fire and ice I think many people around us give us the Vegas odds of 10 to 1 odd that we won't keep things together. Those people don't know who we are though together when the world isn't looking.

Despite all this stress we are still very much in love with each other and we love our children. The day to day stresses are rough and we are lucky to have marriage counseling provided through the kids Early Intervention program but I must admit I think the real hero is Chris. I'm such a stress ball and very tightly strung but he has such a great attitude (unless you are asking him to put up curtains or gasp WALLPAPER) day to day. He brings sunshine when I am to my limits! Chris has been really stressed at work b/c of the new home tax credit ending and making sure about 40 homes are done by July 1. I think it makes me realize what I've taken for granted. When he isn't all sunshine it is like a huge rain cloud comes over the home. I will be glad when things are back to normal but it is teaching me what I really take for granted!

One of the things that shocks me about my husband is how he nurtures and loves our kids. He really is in more ways the "mom" out of the two of us! It boggles my mind how a man who does most of the late night feedings and duties, deals w/vomit on the head, and does the baby wearing can still come to me and ask me "so are you sure we are done? Come on you want another!" Of course the answer is a resounding NO WAY, NOT NOW, NOT EVER, but you have to admire the mans love of being a Dad.

He knows how important it is to my diesease that I get good sleep. Last night he fed the twins as usual around 2 but than around 3 little Cally woke up again and was screaming. He just dealt with him for about 30 or 45 minutes and went back to bed. About 15 mins later Harmon screamed and despite my offers to get him he dutifully went away... I fell asleep and about an hour later realized he never came back. I came out to see him putting Harm to bed. He had thrown up again and so Chris cleaned up the room, did the laundry, and bathed Harmon. He layed them down again for just a few minutes before waking up and going to work first thing in the morning to go to work.

So if you have read this nauseating ode to my Chris you deserve a FUNNY story. Wednesday he was home late... AGAIN (I think he has been late every day this week except today)! So once again he said "you can't be mad a man bearing gifts!" He had stopped at PickQuick and got me this goofy statue. He said the first frog is Harmon going "nenenahnene", the second it Rachel laughing at Harmon, and the third is Cally hiding. It is the GOOFIEST yet most thoughtful gift I think I've ever got. I might put it in my office or keep it in the kitchen so I can see it on a regular basis. You know I suspect we will beat the odds; after all where would life be w/o my best friend?

I really don't think I can believe tonight...

So about four months ago we took off one of the sides to Harm's crib b/c he learned to climb out. We have been putting off buying a new bed b/c the transitions has been HORRENDOUS but little Cally is getting picked on in the crib (Rachel is a roller and plays bumper cars all night). We try to buy good high quality furniture but b/c we don't know if we are going to be in the house for much longer I didn't want to buy anything permanet. Once we are settled for a while longer I'm gonna buy some good quality stuff for each room that hopefully will grow with the kids into teen-hood but in the mean time I decided a cheap temporary Walmart tot bed was the way to go.

Chris spent 2 1/2 hours tonight putting it together while I took care of kids and rearranged the twins furniture. Everything was so cheap it took forever for Chris to do it. FINALLY it was done and than CRACK... the support beam just spontaneously CRACKED! I couldn't believe it... so it is 9:45 and we have just WASTED our entire evening on this piece of junk. So I trounced back to Walmart tonight b/c tomorrow I have appointments all morning and just wanted it out of my car before I needed to transport kids anywhere. Of course we had lost the reciept and they argued w/me about taking it back but there was NO WAY in living heck I was leaving that store w/o a full refund!!!!

So tomorrow night what will we be doing??? Same thing we do every night Pinky... try to put together a toddler bed! (If we can even find one that isn't crap in this small town).

Dear Rachel...

Dear Rachel,

please stop beating up your twin. You may be half his size but he is a sensitive little man! While you are at it please stop stealing his pacifiers and any toy he happens to be playing with. Also Harmon would like it if you stopped stealing the toys he was playing with and than pulling his hair when he tries to take it back.

Thank you,

Your loving mom

My little girl amazes me! Today she stole Harm's sippy of water right from under him and actively drank from it. She sits up beautifully, fully crawls, and just started pulling up. I just need her to learn to cohabitate w/a house full of crazy brothers.

What is church like w/3 kids?

So as some of you might know we attend church regularly. When you have a child w/Sensory Processing Disorder and two nearly 9 month twins needless to say this is quite a challenge. For the first hour we have "sacrament" meeting where we sit in the chapel. It happens to be when the twins have their lunch so to entertain Harm we start a buffet. He has juice, crackers, teddy grams, peanut butter crackers, and chocolate cheerios. This only works for 30 mins. After that we do coloring, cars, and books.

That doesn't always work today someone took our usual pew and the chapel was completely full. This left us on a new pew right next to the exit. So Harm tried to crawl under the pew and over the pew in a bid for freedom. Another problem w/this was that it was right next to the air conditioning system and THE LIGHTS... yes you do know where this is going! Today in the middle of church Harm turned off a 1/3 of the chapel's lights. I tried to stop him but I had Rach in my hands and I wasn't quick enough. He did this twice before I could subdue him. It was priceless to see an entire chapel turn around and STARE at you. Daddy and I try... it just isn't easy.

The next hour is fairly easy b/c Harm attends Primary Sunday School and we only have the twins. It is divide and conquer and we have WONDERFUL friends who often give us a break and kidnap one or both of the babies. Today one of my sweet friends took Rachel when she got fussy into the hall. She got mad and I could hear her so I grabbed her bottle. That ran out and we forgot extra formula!!!! So I went back into the room to grab Puffs. When I came back out Rachel peed ALL OVER the carpet and my friend (I had forgotten to change her diaper). I feel so bad.

It is funny b/c I know I will miss this when they are older, living far away with their own families and I am attending church just Chris and I. I need to treasure these times even when they are frustrating... but days like this make me consider being an agnostic!

My poor little men! (Big Scare)

Today we went to the pediatrician to see how Callum's breathing was doing. He got a full clean bill of health :) While we were there our doctor wanted to just follow up on little Harmon b/c of his fall on Tuesday. I've still been concerned b/c he has been sleeping a lot more than usual and not eating. She was immeadeatly alarmed and after a full exam suspected A BRAIN BLEED!

They scheduled us for a CAT scan for later that afternoon so we just had to wait. I don't really have words to describe the fear I felt. When Chris found out he immeadeatly made sure he was home on time! When we got there for the scan Chris was my hero once again. They had to tape Harmon's head to the board for the scan and Chris had to hold him down. I could just hear poor Harmon SCREAMING from the waiting room. I felt so bad for Harmon that we immeadeatly got him french fries (the forbidden food) from Mickeys after it was all over. I think times like this I realize I am really blessed to have such a caring husband and father in Chris. I couldn't have done this on my own.

Now for the good news!!!! He doesn't have a brain bleed :) He does have a mild concussion and should be fine in a few more days. I am so grateful!!!

Today Callum flunked his 3rd hearing screening. He is having difficulty w/2 of the 4 different frequencies in is left ear. I was talking to our Screener and she is VERY hopeful that this might not be something serious but I'm worried. He had his ears checked for infection and fluid this morning by our AMAZING pediatrician and he is clear. Also this is the 3rd screening... so in June we will be going in for further testing.

I think I've never been happier to see a week end. Tomorrow we were supposed to do March of Dimes in El Paso but we are burnt out. NO WAY! We all just need to rest. We will still go to El Paso but only after sleeping in and making a nice breakfast at home. Needless to say tonight I think we will all be saying some extra long prayers of gratitude.

The gag reflex!

This morning Harmon sauntered into the room and quickly jumped into my bed next to Cally. I was busy getting dressed so at first I didn't notice... but than I smelled it... VOMIT! I can not handle smelly things: poop, vomit, etc. I still am not used to it after three children, I clean it b/c I love them but I have to desperately fight the GAG reflex. So yes, my poor sweet boy was covered in head to toe vomit. I went to his room and it was everywhere! You would think he had starred in Exorcist. He also kindly had gotten it all over our bed too.

The good news is that he DOES NOT have a concussion. This was my first reaction after the horrid head bump from yesterday but my doctor assured me it is just a tummy bug. So yes, that marks it we have 3 kids who are all sick. It was a cranky day in the Hakes household but looking at the bright side everyone wanted to cuddle and as a mom I must admit that part ROCKS!

One of those days...

It is funny how one day can have so much good and bad...

Today I got to sleep in... that was heaven!

The twinsies are both sick. It isn't serious but it is hard to watch them so cranky. Both are tired and very irritable. It makes me so sad but I'm very grateful this isn't a big scare like the past two times w/little Cally.

Today for the 2nd day in a row Chris was coming home late and he texted me and I texted him back a frown. So he did something so cute! He stopped at the convience store near our house and looked for flowers. They don't sell flowers at the PicQuick so instead he got me a baseball cap that says BIKER CHICK and an US Magazine. He was like "how can you be mad at a man bearing gifts".

The saddest thing happened on our evening walk. Harm was walking Mackenzie, our dog, she pulled him and he lost balance. He has a HUGE bump on his head. I feel so bad. I wanted to take him to Urgent Care but with in 60 seconds Harm was just laughing. I keep asking him if it hurts and he just smiles... I know it must hurt, just look at it in the picture above! Chris said it is all about being a mom to worry. Ironically we were to do profesional pictures tomorrow, I think I will be rescheduling... but as long as he is okay I could care less.

It is late and it is time for bed!

The strangest comments!

We get comments all the time pushing the double stroller around. I suspect we are one of Las Cruces' biggest circus attractions. Some of the comments are a little nosey (so can you afford them?), many are funny (uh oh, that boy is stealing the girl's food), and almost all are very supportive! I don't mind it. Anytime I would see twins I would comment on how cute they were. In fact the other day I was at the grocery store after class and I saw a set far away and ran up to check them out... They were MY TWINS! Chris was just grabbing a cart and was hidden from view.

Anyway lately, in fact every day I get the same question: "are they twins????" Well to me that is obvious... they look about the same age, and we have them in a double stroller. But yet people are always asking this and than they comment on how different they look. Of course! They are boy/girl twins and girls are often smaller. I dunno, this seems strange. Do you think it is strange?

Harmon going to school? Already?

Harmon got further tested for his entry into pre-school. He already qualifies but they want to prepare the teacher for everything. The program is called Developmentally Delayed Pre-School and it is through the public school system. I visited one school this past Monday and it looked great but I didn't like the hours that they have. So I am going to another school this next week with better hours.

Honestly I am still on the fence do I really want him to go? He is doing well in his early intervention and loves it at home. Between our nanny and I, he gets plenty of quality one on one attention. But still the socialization would be good for him and it would be such an advantage for going into kinder. It is only 4x a week and 3 hrs a day so he will still be home plenty.

I guess if I am just honest w/myself my biggest opposition will be admitting that he doesn't need me all day. Since the decision to work at home when I first moved here I figured it was b/c he needed me. But now I think maybe it is I who really needs him.

Ramblings of a tired women after a long day...

Today had so much good and so much bad. I think 99% of my days are that way.

(note I was so tired I forgot to actually press publish)

This morning Rachel pooped on her towel on the way outside of the tub and than Cally peed on his towel on the changing table. I think both did that to get two baths. So today I gave 5 baths.

After the nanny left I put the twins down in their crib for naps and took Harm outside to play. We blew bubbles and did sidewalk chalk. We were having a great time until it was time to go back in (which he didn't want to do). So he ran into the house while I went to put everything away and than happily ran outside again... problem is that he locked our french doors. Yes, he did it again, he locked me out of the house so we would have to keep playing. So I did what any rational mom would do with sleeping children in a locked house... ran screaming to the neighbors where by a miracle my big strong neighbor was home. He broke the door knob on the french doors and got me back in. Needless to say I owe him a nice gift card and I've got to keep Harmo from locking me out in the future. That kid is so smart it is scary.

They published my opinion letter in the paper in the neighboring big city. They watered it down and added gramatical errors. Granted I have no sense of spelling or grammar so I had Chris make sure it was correct. This must be a sign that I need to stop reading 2 newspapers everyday or more importantly give up on politics. Or maybe since I have no grammar or spelling sense (I'm a touch dyslexic) perhaps I should consider journalism at this particular news outlet.

I've been designing and submitting ads to the newspaper for over 18 mos. They always screw up the same things for final print... I wonder if they do it just to tease me b/c they know I will catch them or if they really are just not smart?

Tonight was my last class. I have been taking a class just for fun on Jewish film simply for fun. It ended and I got an A. It doesn't count for anything. I simply did it to just get out of the house. Now I am sad that I won't have an excuse to really get out of the house once a week in the evenings. Maybe I should take a new class like cooking... we all know I don't cook.

The twins ALWAYS sleep till 8. Harmon sleeps in some mornings... yesterday he slept till 9! Sometimes he wakes me up at 6. It is like playing the lottery. I am so tired. I hope he gives me till 7:30 or so. THAT WOULD BE HEAVEN!!! I am sooo tired :(

Okay so that was my random musings. More for myself than for anyone else. If you made it this far you must be a die hard blog fan.

Twins by numbers and pictures!

So I was taking some pictures for an ad for work and I had my camera left out after we got back from the store. So I decided to do a photo tour of what life w/twins by the numbers is like!

They are innocent and VERY tiny but don't let it fool you... they consume!

We go through 5 of these per month. They are 3 lb "double cans" of formula. One is missing... probably still in the car.

This is a month of solids. It is 78 servings!

These are the daily bottles. Depending on the time of day they eat more or less formula. We do 5 feedings every 24 hrs. They hate large servings and still don't sleep through the night.

Bulky kid equipment everywhere x2! We have had at one point or another 2 bouncers, 2 swings, 2 excersaucers, 2 play mats, 2 infant carseats, 2 boppies, 2 bumbo chairs; and soon we will have 2 convertible carseats, 2 high chairs (I'm desperately holding off), and 2 cribs in the nursery. Big stuff sucks. There is no place to walk.

Diapers by bulk (about 200 a month per child and a big box of 720 wipes). We keep Rach in the Huggies and Cally in the Pampers b/c they are in different sizes and it is easier to differentiate.

Laundry for a week. We normally have about 13 outfits per week (we have some ubber cute onesies I use on days we don't leave the house), 16 onesies, 14 sleepers, 14 pairs of socks, and about 40 bibs!

Pacifiers are the bain of my existence. I can only guess but we probably have around 40 lying around our house and or in the SUV but when the twins are screaming NONE are anywhere to be found. We buy around 6 new ones a month and had 14 to begin with. I'm sure we also have lost some in the line of duty at restaurants, stores, and parks.

These are more for me than for the twins. Daddy always tries to get fresh ones for me each week. It is my reward for all the poopy diapers I deal with while he is at the office ;)

Oh no!

Dear Rachel,

I know you love exploring on the ground now that you are such a good little mover but Mommy has one request: PLEASE DO NOT PLAY OR WORSE SUCK ON McKenzie's DOG TOYS!!!!!

Thank you ,

Mom

Seriously I hide those darn toys in McKenzies kennel and the dog drags them right out and before I can turn my head there Rachel goes with them happily playing with them. Fortunetly I've caught her before she began sucking but I've had some close calls.