Sunday, September 21, 2014

Update on My Mom...

If you have seen me looking frazzled or worse if I have canceled plans on you (sorry Amanda, Chenchie, etc) several times, this week it is because there has been a whole lot going on with my mother.  I've not blogged too much how things are because, to be honest, it's hard for me.  Today I will try.

My mother was transferred to the El Paso LTAC Hospital.  At that time we had disconnected her from life support and we were waiting and watching if she would emerge from her coma.  I guess at that point I was preparing myself for her imminent death or her miraculous recovery.  Despite being a perfectly levelheaded human being I don't think I ever prepared myself for a middle ground.  One in which she neither died or fully recovered.

Yet as the weeks and days have come by everything is hard.  I'm seeing her muscles go into atropy and while she opens her eyes and will even nod at times she doesn't wake up enough to talk or sip on a straw.  I just wish it would get better, it would get easier for her.  I wish she could go home and be here with my babies, watch some tv and get to know what it felt liked to be hugged or even have a doughnut again.  

I worry now that she is transferred to a long term nursing home facility on the far Eastside of El Paso that she will be forgotten.  It is over a hundred and twenty mile roundtrip from my home.  It sucks because I wish I could be there daily.  My heart breaks every day and despite time, it doesn't get any easier.  The pain just feels worse.  I feel like part of me is dying with her.  I want there to be a miracle but maybe I lack faith because in my heart I just have this feeling I must accept things as they are.

She is now in a great facility.  If anyone here is local in El Paso please contact me for more information.  I still pray.  She is a fighter and the most wonderful women I've ever known in my life.  I just pray every day that she might regain more function and we can improve her quality of life further.  
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1 comment:

  1. LaurieSeptember 21, 2014 at 8:20 PM

    Accepting things as they are is not an indication of any lack of faith, sweet girl. We don't always get to know how things are going to develop, and we don't always have the understanding of why things are they way they are. I believe it takes a great deal of faith to do just what you are doing, accept things as they are - and know that God is in charge and has a plan. One day we will see the front of the tapestry instead of the back, which is full of threads that go every which way and don't make sense, or allow us to see the beautiful picture that is on the front. Please don't doubt your own strength and faith! XOXOX

    ReplyDelete

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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Update on My Mom...

If you have seen me looking frazzled or worse if I have canceled plans on you (sorry Amanda, Chenchie, etc) several times, this week it is because there has been a whole lot going on with my mother.  I've not blogged too much how things are because, to be honest, it's hard for me.  Today I will try.

My mother was transferred to the El Paso LTAC Hospital.  At that time we had disconnected her from life support and we were waiting and watching if she would emerge from her coma.  I guess at that point I was preparing myself for her imminent death or her miraculous recovery.  Despite being a perfectly levelheaded human being I don't think I ever prepared myself for a middle ground.  One in which she neither died or fully recovered.

Yet as the weeks and days have come by everything is hard.  I'm seeing her muscles go into atropy and while she opens her eyes and will even nod at times she doesn't wake up enough to talk or sip on a straw.  I just wish it would get better, it would get easier for her.  I wish she could go home and be here with my babies, watch some tv and get to know what it felt liked to be hugged or even have a doughnut again.  

I worry now that she is transferred to a long term nursing home facility on the far Eastside of El Paso that she will be forgotten.  It is over a hundred and twenty mile roundtrip from my home.  It sucks because I wish I could be there daily.  My heart breaks every day and despite time, it doesn't get any easier.  The pain just feels worse.  I feel like part of me is dying with her.  I want there to be a miracle but maybe I lack faith because in my heart I just have this feeling I must accept things as they are.

She is now in a great facility.  If anyone here is local in El Paso please contact me for more information.  I still pray.  She is a fighter and the most wonderful women I've ever known in my life.  I just pray every day that she might regain more function and we can improve her quality of life further.  
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1 comment:

  1. LaurieSeptember 21, 2014 at 8:20 PM

    Accepting things as they are is not an indication of any lack of faith, sweet girl. We don't always get to know how things are going to develop, and we don't always have the understanding of why things are they way they are. I believe it takes a great deal of faith to do just what you are doing, accept things as they are - and know that God is in charge and has a plan. One day we will see the front of the tapestry instead of the back, which is full of threads that go every which way and don't make sense, or allow us to see the beautiful picture that is on the front. Please don't doubt your own strength and faith! XOXOX

    ReplyDelete

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