Sleeping Kitty...

Last month I spoke about starting a new method of treatment that was making me sick.  The treatment is methotrexate, a form of chemotherapy.  While I've been on it in the past it has never been dosed like it has recently.  The usual for me has been 4 pills once per week.  Now it is 14, which is very very strong and the max pill dose.  Next week they are likely going to start injections because I'm on the max pill dose.

So it sucks but I'm doing better with it.  The trick is sleeping.  I sleep now the same amount, if not more than my babies averaging ten to eleven hours a day.  This of course is really halting me with some of the things I'm doing.  I've been doing marketing projects from home but for now that is dead in the water.  I'm going instead try and just focus only on my masters and my kids.  It's a step back for me but the more I rest the more I'm me when it comes to my waking hours.  My kids are getting the best of me, my husband is, my friends are, and my writing is.  

I just try to remember a scripture in our church that says: be still and know that I am God.  I hate being still but The Lord is teaching me a lesson and I'm getting it.  The kids and I are having our best Summer ever and I know that once the progress of my disease is stymied it will pass, but hopefully I won't forget the lessons I'm learning.

Here are the lyrics of a nice song initially found in the Lutheren Hymn book which reminds me of these principles.

"Be Still, My Soul"
by Catharina von Schlegel, 1697-?
Translated by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897

1. Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

4. Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Hymn #651 
The Lutheran Hymnal
Text: Psalm 46:10
Author: Catharine Amalia Dorothea von Schlegel, 1752, cento
Translated by: Jane Borthwick, 1855
Titled: "Stille, mein Wille"
Composer: Jean Sibelius, b. 1865, arr.
Tune: "Finlandia"