Be Still...

I have two very crazy active kids and one other kid who very active.  It's not really a surprise because Chris and I are very active.  We always like to be doing and learning and be in the middle of everything.

Perhaps that is why when times like now, I find myself struggling.  My treatment for RA is becoming more intense because I am losing function and the flares up are much worse.  I have to make a decision when times like this happen.  I have to choose sometimes to increase medications that make me sick in order to preserve my long term quality of life.  I have found in my experience that new medications often are worse when I first start but my body eventually adapts and I get my mojo back.

Right now I am in my second week of a new treatment and it has thrown me off my feet.  I have a lot of faith that in good time I will be able to adjust to the medicine or we will change it.  We won't know either way for a few more months because we are slowly increasing it each month for about four months to eight months.  It is my hope at the end of this my RA factor will go down and I will be able to do more with my kids like playing in a park or taking a long walk with them.  The things that are very difficult for me today.

So when I start to feel sorry for myself about the medicines I am trying to count my blessings instead.  Slow down and rest.  Watch my babies and rather than think of all the things I can't do because I'm tired, be grateful for all that I have, with the real hope one day I will be able to do more.