It's been two years now and life goes on...

Yesterday was a special day for me.  One of my best friend's Jamie had her birthday and we celebrated Chris' birthday.  Sitting around talking with my mother though I also realized yesterday marked two years since my serious accident...

I remember the trauma in many ways.  You never forget your first brain bleed or multiple fractures including your shoulder.  But you also move on.  Harm remembers me being in the hospital but he no longer gets sad thinking of it.  Some days I get really bad headaches and I have more confusion than I used to have.  But all in all I have healed beautifully.  

After the accident I said I had faith that all my losses would be made whole once more.  That has come true.  I have my beautiful kids and a so much to live for.  The accident changed so much, including my marriage, and I miss the life I had before in many ways but I know that it happened for a reason and I am stronger having gone through it.  And there have been blessings.  Miriam for example before the accident was a friend and nanny.  After the accident she became permanent family.  I learned that I can over come and I'm amazed by the resilience my kids have had in overcoming the trauma of me just disappearing and than me being hurt.

That is the way life is.  I never thought I could celebrate the twins birthday without feeling a horrible dread of mourning for their rough start and seeing them hooked up to breathing tubes in the NICU.  Now I just see the wonderful healthy beautiful babies they are.  Today I was laughing with Rachel because I was on the phone working and she yelled "mommy look at me" and she was doing a perfect handstand on the wall and I dropped the phone.  This was the girl who I mourned with a Cerebral Palsy diagnoses at 26 months.

Good or bad I don't know what the future holds.  I only know I can't stop it, control it, or avoid it.  What I can do is roll with it having faith in God and as my mom would tell me Dios lo quire.