"I don't wanna go to Heaven if I can't get in..."

This morning I was listening to my usual picks on my iPhone while I was wrapping gifts and organizing paper work.  I had been thinking about a song by OAR called "Heaven" and Callum asked me why I wouldn't want to go to Heaven and I tried to explain to him that my interpretation of the song is that I don't want to go to Heaven if it is someone else's cliquey place like it is some social club only certain people will go too.  Needless to say I had a very stumped four year old and so I changed the subject quickly...

I'm sure this is the first of hundreds of these conversations with my kids.  It came to mind more today with the whole Duck Dynasty thing and a random recent conversation.   I was talking to a friend and we were talking about what school we were going to next, I mentioned one place and I got the look.  She was concerned the whole Mormon thing, though the Jewish thing would probably be okay.  We talked and I don't think that will be a big deal but it did remind me of what I went through as a child.

My family was interfaith jumble, and dramatically different cultures as well.  My mother was Puerto Rican, born right in Old San Juan.  My father was raised in a small town in Texas with like maybe a hundred and fifty other people it seemed like.  Both places are very beautiful filled with beautiful people.  My paternal grandmother and grandfather did not attend my parents wedding because she was Hispanic.  When I was born I was given my Maternal Grandmother's name (my 1/2 sister carries my Paternal Grandma's name) and because of that as a small child I was really hated by my maternal grandmother.  It got so nasty that my mother and father couldn't leave me with her for 5 minutes alone.  I still have nightmares.  That was the first time I realized what it was like to be hated for something you never did wrong.

I went to private school, including a parochial one.  Even though I was not of that faith most everyone didn't care.  I loved learning their faith and I loved my own faith.  My parents always wanted me to be the ultimate person to decide faith.  It was loving people like this old Episcopalian priest who knew I was pretty much Jewish at that point but still encouraged me to take full part in everything and have faith in God.  I am grateful for the school my kids attend right now.  Everyone jokes about my kids being the spice in the school as the little Jewish Mormons.  Everyone always been so supportive of me as well there knowing what we all went through in the last year.  They are true Christians in my book.

Eventually my kids are going to see the other side of the world I so fiercely block for them.  Chris worries a lot about my occasional cussing slip but I worry more about the first time they are told they are not going to Heaven or the first time they learn of events like the Holocaust.  I have been so blessed to be surrounded by such great diverse friends in my life who love me for who I am and so when I see the world so divisive it breaks my heart.  I am not condemning anyone, my husband loves Duck Dynasty and I think the DD family is neat in many ways.  I understand that with the Robertson father, in his heart those are his beliefs, but they are not mine.  We need to start becoming a people who loves first and condemns last in my opinion.  Faith, culture, religion, are wonderful things when celebrated but not used as a weapon.

When I was younger I wanted to change the world but the world is not black and white.  Art Spiegalman's Mause was criticized because of the simplicity.  The innocents were mice and the evil ones were cats.  The world isn't that way and changing the world for better is not so simple.  One thing I am doing is looking more into my heart trying to take a hard look at who I am.  There is always personal room for improvement.  I can't change the world but I can affect my sphere of influence, which is namely my kids.  I want them to learn to love people and to stand up for good even when it is difficult.

I met one of my heroes recently.  Her name is Mimi Gladstein and she is just an amazing women.  One of the neatest things she has done, is choosing the quotes for the wall of tolerance at the El Paso Holocaust Museum  They are amazing and the words I will just continue to try to live by the rest of my life.  They are why I felt like I wanted to say something tonight.