Dear Pampers Company and other rants

Dear Pampers,

I have attended college. I am not a dummy. Please do not sell a "box" of Swaddler diapers and claim the box is so small b/c you shrunk the diapers. You did not shrink the diapers, you took out 40 of them! You think I wouldn't notice that for the same price there are 40 less diapers in a box????

Dear Tostinos,

My son will only eat 3 types of food besides fresh fruit. Your pizza is one of those 3 foods, so do you think you could figure out a way to put in 3 servings of vegetables in your pizza?

Dear Carters,

I bought an entire Summer wardrobe for my daughter on sale last year b/c I didn't know she would only be 14 lbs at 10 mos. Do you think you could take them all back and let me pick out a killer fall wardrobe or Chris may kill me? (At least I will have baby shower gifts for years to come for baby girls.)

Dear Walmart,

I love your cheap prices and great selection but I hate shopping w/two-thirds of Las Cruces and waiting in line while juggling 3 kids. Could you start a home delivery service for me?

Dear Children,

Your mother is VERY VERY tired tonight after a long week. Could you all please sleep in for me? Just this one day! 6 am would be no bueno :(