Dressing Up and Speaking Up...

Anyone who knows Chris and I knows we love jeans, t-shirts, and chilling at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant! To us that is romance. Tonight though we ended up at a formal dinner where the Governor was again the keynote speaker. I was very proud of Chris. He is gets shy talking to people at these sorts of things but he talked to everyone and we had a really good time.

I also got out of my own comfort zone tonight. Last time we did this I did meet the Governor but I never really spoke with her. Tonight when it was over there were not many people left so I went and said hi. I thanked her for her support of small business and we talked about growing up in El Paso. Where I am proud of myself though is that I also mentioned what was going on with our school district exiting special ed kids en masse. We talked Harmon and Rachel a little and she shared with me some of her experiences. She told me that some of the things the school had been telling me about funding were not really true and that her office will be looking into why so many students are being exited so quickly. I doubt anything will come of this but if just by chance something good does come of it that would be neat.

With all of that though I guess when it comes down to it I just loved being with my husband. It was fun and romantic. We need to hang out with adults more often!

PS: Thanks to all the ladies who helped dress me. You know who you are ;)

The latest in RIDICULOUS Barbie dolls!

I needed to go to Kohls looking for new shoes and so we took the kids to play in the toy section. This is where I saw the following ridiculousness:

Yes, in Barbieville, the cops wear micro-mini skirts! My inner-feminist just cries when I see things like this :(

Turkey War Resolutions and New Traditions...

Well the other day I wrote about being frustrated with Thanksgiving. I just feel that we are getting sort of stuck between Chris' and my families history of traditions. It has been hard for us creating our own family traditions. At church it sort of hit Chris though that it was important to start creating those traditions.

So that means no AZ for a Cakes family reunion and no El Paso even for a homestyle Abuelita Thanksgiving (Heaven help me I still haven't told my mom). It is hard on both our sides. We don't want to hurt our respective families. Still if we don't set boundaries now we will be holiday ping pong fodder for generations to come. Holidays will be in our home, this year and the rest of the years... until one day our married kids tell us "mom, we do Thanksgiving at our house."

The plan is simple. I'll make Bobby Flay's turkey, Paula Deen's stuffing (I gotta incorporate some of those Southern faves of Chris' into the meal), his mom's green bean casserole (the one on the French's cans), and my mom's sweet potato pie recipe. It will be a touch of old in a new family. Anyone and everyone will always be invited :) Afterward in honor of one of Chris' beloved traditions we will take the critters to the movies. After all if we eat at noon we have to do something to entertain ourselves. This of course means I probably won't do Black Friday b/c my health has been shaky but I'm giving up something good for something better!

Good, Better, Best: Choosing the Better Part!

Today Chris and I took some time away from the kids and discussed some important things. Bonus and pay raises are around the corner and so this is just the best time to make a plan for the next year. That meant looking at next years budget, traveling in the next year, work, the transition from Miriam to pre-school that will be occurring next fall, and if I would keep taking classes to bring me closer to my personal goal of furthering my education. We also discussed my needing surgery possibly during the holidays.

I think I wanted to just CRY!!!! It is overwhelming thinking about all the different things going on. I think that is when I remembered a talk I once read.

The speaker said the following: "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best... We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives... There is no easy formula for that contest of priorities. However, I have never known of a man who looked back on his working life and said, “I just didn’t spend enough time with my job.” (Source)

It is pretty obvious what the best thing we have in our life is: our marriage and our children. So the trick is for Chris and I will always be is to balance the other needs and goals so they reflect those values. I'm still overwhelmed but remembering this basic truth is very comforting.

Ho Hum on Santa!

If you are my mom, please don't read this post!!!!!

If since I could remember I never believed that Santa was for sure real. I always had serious doubts from day one. I would find the gifts my parents had hidden and see them marked for Santa. I would see Walmart tags on gifts that Elves supposedly had made. My older siblings would let it slip that it was sort of a myth. I think as a small child I figured he existed somewhere but never visited my home. I believed in the spirit (and I still do in a strange way) but I never looked at him as some physical real being. It was peaceful for me knowing. I never had false expectations.

Well now if you ask anyone I'm EVIL! I'm a grinch!!! Who doesn't believe in Santa? You see this is the year I'm supposed to start teaching the kids about Santa. But I don't know if I want to perpetuate the idea of him visiting our home and tagging gifts. I would rather teach that Santa is more like The Little Mermaid. He is out there somewhere doing good and we need to help him by helping others

Chris thinks I'm horrible (even though as a child he thought Santa HATED him b/c Santa got his rich friends better gifts than he ever got). Robbing them of childhood innocence. I suppose if he really is persistent on it I will cave and let the kids bake cookies and threaten them when they are bad that Santa is watching. I'm hoping though he will back down a little, but if he doesn't I will relent. The spirit of Christmas shouldn't be contention after all.

I just think it is funny that one can feel this way and everyone think I'm crazy. Maybe I am. After all this is what happens when you are the youngest of a blended family and your earliest Christmas memories were of watching Gremlins!!!! (I'm still scared of those things... I think it is really the only thing that can still creep me out but I was like 4 when I saw it for the first time).

The GREAT Turkey War!

I've had to fight really hard to convince my family and Chris that holidays for children should be in their home. This is something I grew up with and I feel it is important. We always had the most special events in our home growing up. This included opening gifts on Christmas morning and Thanksgiving dinner.

Unfortunately if you ask the grandparents (Chris' side) or the Abuelitos (my side) those traditions should be done in their home or worse we should have to drive cross country with Great-Grandparents. So for the last 5 years of our marriage we have been playing tug of war and compromising. The final compromise was that we celebrate the main parts in our home and than (assuming they are in town) we will take a little time and visit each of the families. In the mean time if either side wants to attend the main event in our home they are welcome to attend.

So what is the problem? Well even though Chris and I agree the families still want it their way. Chris' family is traveling to Phoenix (even though they all live here to go have a reunion) and so there is the pressure there (and it is a full court press). Than there is the fact that Chris really loves my mom's food. For an Abuelita born in Puerto Rico the chick can cook a bird and do the good old fashioned southern fixings. Chris goes crazy for it!!!! So now there is pressure for me not to even really cook and just go over there to eat. After all... I've been having some complications with my condition and he doesn't want me to overdo it (like I'm buying that one).

Alas this is a pain in the neck. I can either insist on cooking for Thanksgiving (you would think my spouse would be excited with the idea of his wife actually cooking) and force everyone in my family (including my siblings and parents) to endure two full meals on Thanksgiving. Or cave and do Tamales or turkey sandwiches. Chris promises it is only for this year because he really is worried about my health. Nevertheless I worry that all these years of me fighting for Holiday respect is out the window b/c my mom is the Latina Paula Deen. I'll probably give in but heck no is she beating me out on Christmas!!!!

That bratty little sister!

So I took a blog vacation! It had to be done. In one week I've been sick (got a chest cold), fighting the school district to keep Harm's services, and dealing 9,000 other things for work and school!

So I didn't know what to write about until I was thinking about my baby girl. She is a lot like me! The boys are just the best of friends. They each have their own trains and they love playing together. I think Rach gets jealous b/c she goes in there and steals a handful of trains and runs away. Not b/c she likes trains (she doesn't) but rather to get their goat. She also does other things like hide their loveys and do other things to get their goat.

I don't blame her. I think she feels left out honestly but for peace sake she can't do it and not face consequences. Times like this I wish she could have a little sister, but that means I would have to have another child... that just ain't worth! So instead I'm just going to hang in there and try give her extra love so maybe she won't torture her brothers so much.

Monkey's Blood, Fortune Telling, and the other weird things my parents did to me!

Today I was reading poetry and came across a great one. It is called, "Puerto Rican Obituary" by Pedro Pietri. It made me think of culture and upbringing. No matter where I go I get teased a lot but I also get a lot of inquiries about how a "normal person" like me can believe in such things as ghosts or have been a fortune teller. I don't know what to say. It is how I was raised. Chris teases me mercilessly that I was definitely not raised like a normal person! It is true I wasn't. This is why I started laughing when I read this poem for the following lines.

Is time

to visit sister lopez again

the number one healer

and fortune card dealer

in Spanish Harlem

She can communicate

with your late relatives

for a reasonable fee

Good news is guaranteed

That is how I was raised. It was so different. We were taught ghosts, angels, and aliens were totally normal. I was taken to psychic fairs on the weekend growing up and taught to read cards and stuff... don't all kids?

When my friends would cut themselves their mother's put Neosporin on their wounds. My mother though still spits at that stuff claiming it is a conspiracy to cause infection and make you go to the hospital. We had to have Mecuro (it is called Monkeys Blood and died our skin red for weeks) and we were not allowed bandaids b/c they cause infection too.

When we got sick we were not taken to the doctor or given medicine right away. Instead my mother would go find a tea for that. Sometimes she grew the herbs in the front yard but our pet ducks would eat it (another interesting thing was living in the city and having rabbits, ducks and chickens as pets). I still to this day can't go near an herbal tea! They were nasty. What was wrong with Pepto Bismal.

Other funny things were: I was never allowed to cut my hair. My mom's family and our family speak so loudly (and it is often interspersed with curse words, something I'm trying hard to drop for my own kids sake); we are not mad at each other but rather just very animated. We say what is on our mind. I would get dumped and my mom would say "get over it, he was a loser, now go do you homework).

My family!

It isn't all bad though. This is why we love big parties and we love food! I was raised where "family is family, and you will have each other" so even now my siblings and I fiercely protect each other. We also laugh and laugh. That was part of why Chris fell in love with me. There is a feeling of welcoming everyone and serving. It makes me want to always be helping others now as an adult. Honesty was always a cornerstone in my home growing up. My parents made it clear money doesn't matter as much as being a good person matters!

Sometimes I wonder how my culture will melt with Chris' (which is a more "All American" style). I think we will skip the psychic fairs and card readings but definitely keep the huge parties! I wonder if my kids will one day be writing blogs about the horrid things their mom did. I think that is a given. I wonder what they will take as adults. I guess I just hope they will have a strong faith in God, a heart filled with love, and still love to laugh. They also better still love the Texas Longhorns ;)

Time changes are NOT FUN!

I hate you Benjamin Franklin!

I used to love Fall Back when I was a little. It meant we could actually make McDonald's breakfast for once when I was little. In college it meant an extra hour of sleep. After college it meant I could stay out later the night before and still make it to church. Alas those days are over!

Now I have kids and Daylight's Saving Time doesn't work! The kids didn't get the memo. So Chris kept them up late last night. They still woke up when they usually do, so the whole day they have been cranky monsters. On Facebook some of my friends bragged about their kids doing great... THAT WAS NOT MY FAMILY. Ugh, I wish we lived in Russia, they don't have DST over there!!!

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

I'm a horrible person. Today I was shopping with the kids and Chris. I was in a crummy mood (still catching up on work after too much Halloween and very moody little kids). Anyhow as I started sifting through the Halloween Clearance section the store was blasting Christmas Carols. Suddenly I stopped being sullen and started humming. Cally our resident musician quickly got into it as well. Chris and I are dancing in the aisles.

Christopher is horrified. He thinks I am disrespecting the bird. I'm not, but the bird ain't anything compared to my good friends Rudolph and Frosty. So we are at odds. Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday (he loves to eat). So I guess I will have to wait till Black Friday to put up the decorations...

But I'm excited! See my side ticker!!!! Also Callum is excited too. He threw this cd into the cart and Daddy didn't catch... perhaps I will have to put the carols on early.