Food Fights :p

I am madly in love with this kid. He is just an all around great little boy. With that said he is driving me completely BAT CRAP CRAZY!!!! He has sensory issues and so I've been understanding. He has certain foods he feels comfortable with and so while I do introduce new foods to him I never force him to eat things he doesn't feel comfortable with.

Now he is pushing boundaries (classic 3 year old behavior) but when you have a kid only comfortable with a handful of foods and suddenly he won't eat you just want to go jump off a cliff somewhere. Every meal these days has been a STRUGGLE. I came home today to see poor Miriam struggling to get Harmon to eat a little macaroni. When I intervened he started trying to kick me so that led to a long series of time outs and loss of his beloved Cars quilt.

Dinner was worse. Instead of going to the park he screamed for 2 and half hours. Finally we turned around to finish folding some laundry and Rachel swooped in ate the second half of his dinner. That led to another long series of screaming. He kept screaming at poor Rachel especially telling her "Rachel I'm hungry give me my food back." So tonight he is going to bed hungry. We are not bending. We can't b/c we can't keep going on like this. He pushes his boundaries but once he knows we won't bend he always gives up. I hope this is what happens!!!

My brother William was teasing me about how now that the "Terrible Two's" are over and we are in the "Torturous Threes" and next year will be the "Frightful Fours", and afterwards "Fearful Fives" and of course the "Satanic Sixes"... He is right, it doesn't get easier.

Update: Last week and this week we are doing much better on not eating out. Last week on Chris' nights he made various breakfast items. We ate an entire package of bacon in only a week.I tried making a meatloaf that Chris said was done just right. That led me to a conclusion that if that is a well made meatloaf, meatloaf is nasty.

This week I made Spaghetti on Monday and on Wednesday pizza. For his days Chris bought a foot long Italian sandwich :p Maybe we are not "there" yet but we are definetly getting better at least by not eating out so much.

The cats in the cradle...

Yesterday I uploaded some pictures with my camera and I realized I forgot to share about Harm's and Chris' experience seeing Thomas the Train live on stage. Harmon is truly obsessed with anything Thomas the Train so for his little 3 year old brain this was a bigger life experience than learning to drive, graduating college, or perhaps becoming president. Anyway, being the over worked busy mom I am when I have down time going to see Thomas Live wasn't on the top of my list so I did what any smart mom would do: dub it Daddy/Son Day and send them away.

It was great. Not only did I not have to sit through a Thomas Musical but it meant so much to Chris. He loved seeing how happy Harmon was and for that it was worth seeing Sir Topham Hat sing an aria about a bridge. He always worries that he will be like that cheesy song: Cat in the Cradle.

My child arrived just the other day

He came to the world in the usual way

But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay

He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talking before I knew it and as he grew

He said, "I’m gonna be like you, Dad,

You know I’m gonna be like you"

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

When you comin home, dad, I don’t know when,

But we'll get together then, Son,

You know we'll have a good time then.

By the end of the song the dad is all alone and his grown son has no time for him. I think both of us worry about this to be honest. We both love working and learning and traveling etc. but we are very aware that those things we will have time for in the future. It is these precious moments of our children growing up that we will never get to later. Already they are not really babies anymore. It happened so fast. I know they will be in full time school before I know it and than asking for the car keys.

So for now we are really trying to focus on our children. We take the cheesy pictures and go to the cheesy shows. We play bubbles in the back yard and we spend our Saturdays at a museum.

Earlier that day he had seen one of his best friends in college and he felt weird that he never that he never hangs out with the guys anymore (many of them stay up till 2 am playing games on a Friday night or spend Saturdays doing golf or boating). Later that day they saw Thomas and had a wonderful time. On the way home he heard that song and he asked me later if he thought we would be like the ending.

I’ve long since retired, my son's moved away

I called him up just the other day........

I said "I'd like to see you if you don’t mind"

He said "I'd love to Dad, if I could find the time.

You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu.

But It's sure nice talking to you, Dad,

It's been sure nice talking to you........"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me

He'd grown up just like me,

My boy was just like me..............

I told him no, b/c he was taking the time now to form that relationship. It is a sacrifice but the reward makes up so much more than the original sacrifice was.

Last Friday Night (+Sat & Sun)

Our story starts on Friday...

This is what Rachel looked like in the morning when Miriam put a new dress on her.

This is what Rachel looked like when I got home and Chris had been feeding them (excuse my editing).

This is what that dress looked like.

This was her accomplice looked like.

Any questions? Needless to say Katy Perry and Rebecca Black have nothing on my kids for crazy Friday nights!

Seriously that is what happens if you turn your back on even one of our critters for a couple of seconds. Chris was sitting Harmon in the "time out" chair and during that time Rachel found my professional food coloring (which ironically has only once or twice been used until that night). Luckily the dye washed out and so all is well that ends well.

The rest of the weekend had such similar antics. Primarily Harmon. He tried to steal a car from Walmart, ran into the back of the train museum display (I think we dodged getting banned), and he tried to jump into the pool with out his floaties (good thing we were watching and daddy is a fast swimmer). Seriously these kids are like the ocean... your turn your back on them they will hit you with a tsunami!

I think I miss the baby stage when they couldn't go anywhere w/o you ;)

Cinderella had a very hard week!

I think right when I know how to help her, things get complicated. This past few weeks I got a large collection of shoes that are all approved. Well than the poor girl ran into the cupboard and a large can fell on her big toe. Tomorrow the doctor wants us to x-ray it and make sure it isn't broken. I don't think it is but bled profusely for a good 12 hrs.

Chris and I suspect it was an excuse not to wear her special shoes with orthotics and get to wear open toed sandals like regular girls her age get to wear. That meant I had to go out and buy the new pair. This is a disaster though b/c she is falling everywhere. She really needs those proper shoes!!! Trying to look on the bright side she has been so proud of her new "sho shoes".

The frustrating thing is that this was sort of the cherry on top on what has been a rough few weeks. We are having a specialist from Albuquerque come down and consult with her early intervention team. I'm excited about that. Hopefully this will lead to more answers and better treatment. I can tell Rachel is frustrated not being able to do what she needs to do.

Our Spring Professional Pictures

It was time again for our latest pictures. We take them quite regularly (now 2x a year but when the kids were younger they were more often even) b/c I really don't take great pictures with my camera (the pictures are blurry, the lighting is bad, etc.) and they will be small only for a short time.

Anyhow this round we went with local professional photographer Allison Gayle. Any women daring enough to take pictures of my kids deserves a medal of honor and she did a great job. The group pictures were a little rough getting the kids to focus but the candid ones of the kids are just really great. Since there were so many pictures taken I will link this to our photo blog.

Here is the link to more family pictures: link.

Here is the link to more kids pictures: link.

Here is the link to more Rachel pictures: link.

Here is the link to more Callum pictures: link.

Here is the link to more Harmon pictures: link.

This morning I hit a wall but this is a good thing...

If you read the blog yesterday you probably laughed b/c I made no sense! I was tired (all I had energy to do was google YouTube videos of Spaghetti Cat). I still am. I might do something I've not done in ages... go to bed before 11 but I'm just tired.

I woke up this morning and I realized my head was killing me! I had totally hit my proverbial wall. We have had a lot of family stuff going on (we are doing fine but trying to help those close to me has been taxing). We also have had a lot of changes in the last month. Miriam was gone for 2 wks, Harm's school ended, he started Summer Camp, Rachel's treatment is more intense, we moved, etc. etc. The final straw is the framing crew next door framing a new home. I'm glad it is sold and our company is doing well but the 6:30 am- 7am wake up call for the last few days is making me postal b/c I work late into the night.

So today I started getting things in order better to simplify our home.

I have a chore board for Harmon and underneath it I have a dry erase board with chores for us adults to do. That way I know for sure the basics are getting done in the house and everything important is cleaned every couple of weeks.

I also have made a renewed effort to keep track of finances. I got a jolt seeing people who are very close to me and I care for; close to retirement and really struggling. So I really want to make sure we are being more careful and be more diligent saving. We are doing fine right now but I was reminded that things can turn around quickly.

Having Chris help me with meals is already a success (see last night's post). Tonight we made French Toast for dinner. Not exactly a Top Chef specialty but it was good and it was fun to do it together. We are going to start making lists and yes menus so that I'm not always going back and forth from the stores.

Finally because my wonderful nanny, Miriam and I were discussing and we want to limit the kid's early intervention and services to one appointment a day. She is right, the kids need time to be kids and we are going crazy balancing everyone's services. My mother who just started summer break wants to come help us out also a little bit. This will be a treat to have an extra set of hands once in a while before she has to go back to work.

Hopefully these changes will give me more time to get important things done: LIKE SLEEP! Also I would love to start having hobbies again and maybe go back to school for a graduate degree eventually. I'm realizing though that if I don't get more organized these things will be more like fleeting dreams and I will continue being so exhausted by the end of the day that watching YouTube videos of Spaghetti Cat is all I have energy for.

Complete random answers to what is stressing me!

It is funny how sometimes the answers that I look for are right in front of me that I sometimes I just don't see it. Sometimes the answers just randomly pop up like the Spaghetti cat:

This weekend Chris and I have been randomly realizing things that hopefully will make our family easier. Like why haven't we been keeping a budget this past year? Seriously it isn't that hard but it is important. Also why did I feel it necessary to book every possible activity for these 3 kids: summer camp, speech camp, swimming, music class, etc. ? So I'm backing off some of this and allowing more time for sprinklers and mud pies.

Finally Chris came up with something smart: I don't like cooking and I don't have time. Chris loves eating and he is a great baker. So starting later this week he is going to start helping prepare meals. I'm cautiously excited but I think it will be good. We split most household jobs and it works for us well. I told him on his night to cook he can't count Taco Bell as cooking ;)

So yes this has been a time for random revelations but hopefully they will lead to a happier home in the long run!

It is really almost over :(

Tonight we got home late from a friend's home and so the kids were all cranky. We got them some milk for our drive home and so when they got home we slipped their pj's on and put them to sleep. Well Harm and Rach went down in a just a second but my precious Cally sensed he was off kilter and moaned for me.

I scooped him in my arms and took him to the living room. I just held him and stroked his head. He still felt like a little baby. He wouldn't close his eyes. He knew if he did I would put him back in his crib. So he just with bleary eyes stared at me. What he didn't know was that I didn't want to put him down. I felt more than ever that this was it for us. Soon he will be a big boy like Harmon and he won't be a baby. I know he is going to be a wonderful big boy but just tonight I wanted one more moment of just holding my little baby.

All my children are wonderful and special in their own way. Callum is sort of the "middle" child I joke but I appreciate every special quiet moment I have with him. I love when he sings to me or laughs his hearty belly laugh. He is a really amazing little man! Tonight I was glad he gave me one more night of being my precious little baby. I don't want any more kids to be quite honest but I also will admit these moments are almost over and yes, I will miss them!

Can I just walk around in a potato sack?

After college when I was still single and childless I loved shopping for clothing. I had money, time, and I lived in great shopping places like Las Vegas and LA. I have a unique body shape to dress so it took time to find good pieces. That is time that I don't have these days at all. Also living in a small town like Las Cruces my options are very limited. So that leaves me in a quandry. I've been living here for a few years now, thus my old nice clothing is starting to bite the dust, and 3 kids later my body has changed a bit. So my choices are either wear unflattering clothing that I quickly bought and now regret, or potato sack. I think I will choose the potato sack!

Seriously when my mom grew up in Puerto Rico and life was so much easier back than. They were poor so they would buy flour in bags. The bags actually had decently nice prints (see above an example) and so my Abuelita would sew my mother dresses out of the flour bags. It amazes me the creativity people had back than. They were not ugly by any means. Well I never have time to sew, don't buy flour very often (haven't bought some in over a year evidence that I really must start cooking more), and they come in little one pound paper bags so I don't think this would be a good option for me either.

So that leaves shopping online at home. 3 years ago I found a boutique called Down East Basics in the Green Valley Mall in Vegas. I bumped into another one of their stores in Phoenix last year when we took the family to go see the Cardinals play. The clothes were flattering and fit right so I've been buying from them. Well I ordered a ton of stuff last week and they have changed their sizing or something. Nothing fit! I was so excited for the above dress to come into the mail. I thought it would be a great Summer dress for vacation. It wasn't. It flatters people with bigger chests and smaller hips. I looked like a pear dressed up in flowers! The shirts were not long enough.

So I'm out of options other than scrounging through the usual store racks. Now I kind of wish I ate more potatoes :( Those sacks could come in handy about now.

Update on how Rachel is doing...

I haven't talked much about Rachel and her Cerebral Palsy in a while. I guess I just didn't know what in the world to talk about. I have been pretty confused about this diagnoses really means in everyday life. She does so well and she is so determined, I didn't get how she was getting affected if that makes sense.

So today I sat and worked alone with the Occupational Therapist she really put together for me how her CP is going to affect her. She explained to me that babies learn processes like walking and talking just like we learn to drive. At first it is very difficult and causes you to really focus on every action you make but in time you just get it and the process becomes sub-concious.

Well the problem for Rachel is that her body and brain don't communicate and these sub-concious processes are much more difficult to make. So when she is doing various different tasks it causes her whole mind to concentrate on that task (lets say walking up a hill) she can't focus on something else (like looking out for obstacles). Also if she loses focus for just a second she will just fall (like today she was sitting on a rocking chair and she saw Cally grab a toy and she slipped off the rocker). Finally she has difficulty figuring out how to do things that come naturally for other kids (like sitting on a chair properly). This need for constant concentration is why her face is often frozen in odd shapes. She is trying to express herself but she doesn't know how.

With this said I'm understanding now why the specialists say that if Rachel were not so hardworking and determined to over-come these issues she would not be doing well at all. It is b/c she is so amazing and determined that she has trained herself into overcoming obstacles and learning these processes. This is why if you meet her you might not understand there was anything off. It gives me complete full hope that anything practically that she wants to do in life she will make sure she achieves it!

So now I understand the long term prognosis and why the specialists all tell me that this will be a life time fight. From the day she was born learning things that should have been automatic has been a fight: i.e. learning to breathe, roll over, etc. have been challenging for her to learn. This means kicking a ball, learning to type, getting a license, etc. will all be major fights (and realistically some things may be beyond her control). It won't go away BUT now I know that as long as she is trying she can learn. On the other hand things like her low muscle tone in her trunk and her high tone in her legs can be improved upon in time and with therapy and hopefully won't carry any serious long term consequences.

We are blessed that this is not worse. Most afflicted with CP don't have such a great outlook! Nevertheless it is sad that everything is so hard for her. We all have to remember that while everything will be more challenging Rachel will do amazing things and this condition will not stop her.