Giggles and Girl Time!

While I love being a nerd with my sons, I find it just as important to spend time with baby Rachel.  Even if that getting may girl on.  When Rachel was first born in a prayer for the new baby she had a blessing that I would be her best friend.  Of course that will take effort for both of us.

So sometimes that means just doing shopping together or painting her toe nails.  Rachel is a unique baby girl.  She isn't about princesses.  She likes baby dolls and want to be a mommy she tells me every day.  She loves fashion and is anxious to start learning how to sew.  I loved picking out clothes for her but now she is a part of each decision.  I love how  good her taste is.  She picks out clothes for me.  Gymnastics is her real passion.  She wants to go back to doing arial gymnastics.  She asks me every day.  So I promised her as soon as my semester is over I will start doing it.  She also loves cooking.  I'm not allowed to make anything with out her help and I love that.

Mothers and daughters are complex relationships.  I struggled with my mom at times.  Growing up and having her work so much was difficult.  She took care of her alcoholic mother and sometimes I don't think she knew how to have a relationship with a daughter.  We learned to be patient with each other and through it we had a beautiful relationship in the end.

I'm so lucky to have a baby girl.  I try everyday to be there for her.  Sometimes it is just a fun mani/pedi moment and sometimes it means comforting her when she isn't happy with a gymnastics move and starts to get down on herself.  She is her own worse critic and so I strive to so hard to be there for each day lifting her up!

Something to Prove...

This semester  I have been determined to just be perfect.  I want to wow everyone.  I think the need comes out of pure frustration in the English Masters in Creative Writing there are many students who are parents and do wonderfully.  Of course most of those are male students.  There are handful of moms with older kids and even a smaller handful with one young child.  Yet my program has made it clear there are no mothers with three very small children other than me.

There have been in the past but they rarely stuck through it.  I've had other professors tell me that this is just something I do to stay busy.  I've had others tell me with everything going on in my life (such as my mothers passing) perhaps this isn't the time.

So this semester I'm taking zero prisoners.  I'm determined to not just keep up with peers but exceed. I want to exceed other's expectations and set a new precidence.  I've got just another semester of my masters but than I start the PhD.  I'm determined to show during this time that it doesn't matter I'm on chemo, have young kids, work a regular job (and a not so regular job), or anything else.  That anybody with talent and determination can do whatever somebody with more ideal circumstances can do.  I'm doing this for myself, and for other women who might come after me, but moreover I'm doing this for my daughter.  Hopefully one day she won't be looked at as handicapped by having a family, or anything else but rather be treated as an equal peer.

The Comic Book Nerds

Most people look at me and think "girlie girl".  In some ways I'm becoming more of one being the mother of the most ultimate girlie girl on the planet.  But deep down if you want to describe me the three words I would use are: dork, nerd, and geek.  Nothing shows that more than my love of comics which makes me, according to my boys: the coolest mom in the world.

Before Harm loved Harry Potter or Captain America, I loved the X-Men and their other marvel counterparts.   I used to write comics when I was young.  I can't remember what the acronym stand for I remember vividly writing about a team called the TMNT which was a group of mutant superheroes.  I probably would have forgotten about those guys but Harm asked me about his writing and it brought back those memories.

It's fun to see him grow and begin to do the super nerd things I would do.  He finds the coolest program on my computer is not a game or even the Internet but Microsoft Word.  He begs me to use it all the time.  This holiday season once our new home is done I plan on purchasing him a desktop. (We have a cute little homework desk planned for the kitchen).  This way he can use MS Word any time he wants.

Cally also is getting the super hero bug.  He always has Been my Star Wars kid.  No though we are bonding.  You see I loved Guardians of the Galaxy long before the new awesome movie.  Cally has fallen in love with Rocket and now he just loves wearing all things Rocket and loves looking at my old Guardians books.  So we got new comic subscriptions but instead of books bee now use the Kindle app.  Just like I used to read the comics to my momma they now read to me.  Rachel wants nothing of it but 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

It just goes to show that who would have ever guessed being a geek would be so cool.

Dancing through the Curve

When I started my new position at NMSU it was sort of like coming home for me.  I love graphic art and design and I've worked in the University System over the last 15 years of my life many times.  There just wasn't any growing curve.  On the other hand taking up dance teaching again after a decade away has been a huge growing curve.  I'm really lucky because the gym is our second home and I get along well with everyone.  It's top in the state for gymnastics and I've got amazing resources and leaders.  Still in the last 3 months I've faced a lot of challenges.

 First off it has just been hard to get used to being a dancer.  I'm having to stretch everyday and exercise daily so I can endure sometimes two hour stretches.  I'm practicing pointe again if I choose to later on teach pointe and OMG I forgot how much that hurts when you have been dormant for a long while.  All of these things will only be a good thing in the long run for increased health.  Boy I've gotten lazy since having kids :(  No more of that for me.

The other challenge is a learning curve of just being part of a bigger organization which is Gym Magic and figuring out the needs of the program in relation to everything else.  With great help though from everyone I'm learning my way.  I'm so excited that we are indeed growing the program now.  This week we officially started our Moonbeams, Sunbeams, and Little Stars for our popular gym dance combinations.

This means we have divided our 3-6 yr old Ballet/Gym Combo into two different levels and are now building a third level for girls who are older.  The joy of seeing on Thursday classes for our littlest dancers ages 3-4 and than teaching 4-5's was amazing.  Saturday we did the same but now we also have a 5-7 yr old class.  It was awesomeness teaching each student exactly at their level.  I'm excited for the next step which will be to build a program for older kids in ballet, jazz, lyrical, and modern so our little girls will grow into the program and we can reach more students.

And we started our amazing new show group.  We have about 65 girls enrolled currently in dance.  A few parents made the choice to sign up for our show group and we had our first presentation last Saturday at the mall.  Despite a snafu with music everyone was just amazing.  I love my students each so much (especially Rachey) and I can't wait to see how everything grows in years to come.

So if you're in Cruces and have a child interested in dance let me know!

UGH... Valentines...

It's interesting because despite achieving my life long goal of being the crazy old single lady across the street with two many cats I never seem to be alone on Valentines.   Of the 15 yrs since I was 18 I've had a boy for a good 12 of those years.  But that's not the point.  Together or alone there is something about this holiday that sucks for me.

This year is no different.  I know my husband loves me but ever since we got together it has always been a stressful working day.  I remember our first Valentines 8 yrs ago he bought me gold earrings and Bob our cat ate one of them.  That night we both had classes and work until 9:00 pm and with him in construction that meant it was home for him and straight to bed.  Since than Valentines is always been about extended family (we have the most awesome niece born that day who is having her LDS Baptism that day.)  As much as I hate to admit it I'm never going to get swept off my feet by that man.  He is just not that way.  He loves me but I will always be somewhere in between the kids, the company, his cell phone and NetFlix.   That's how modern marriage I feel is these days.  We don't have time for Cinderella balls and gestures because we're all to busy dealing with real life and trying to stay sane.

So this year I'm officially canceling the expectations of love and romance.  I'll admit I was raised to be a romantic at heart and screw the Disney princess lies, I'm not going to succumb to them any longer!  My friend was selling Valentines buckets as a fundraiser for her gym team kids.  So I got that.  I might go and pick up a gun for Chris because he wants one.  Otherwise I'm done.  I will not make Hallmark rich.  I will not pretend that I will have grand romance or even appreciation for all I do.  I will probably be studying about prostitutes that day (my thesis project).  Yes, I'm grumpy but I don't care.  Low expectations means low disappointment.  For now, I quit.

Ready for T-Ball?

I truly HATE T-Ball.  I know I shouldn't.  It's a child sport and there are families all over this country, including dear sweet friends of mine who are all out proud of their children in T-Ball.  It's America's game and thus should be treated as such.  I don't agree with that.  It is a game that lasts sometimes two hours where I sit with high wind blowing dust into my hair and not even a concession guy to sell me a hotdog, popcorn, and nachos.  The season starts with cold freezing weather and ends with hot hot miserable heat.  

But this year is different.  Because THANK HEAVEN's Harmon quit.  I'm actually really proud of Chris b/c he finally allowed him to quit.  Harm and T-Ball were not the best of friends.  While Harm is very talented in sports when it comes to brute strength and flexibility his eye-hand coordination is not his forte.  The worse part about T-Ball for me was that I had to see day in and day out Harm alone in the dug out (our team had one extra player and that left Harm alone where I often would sneak him ice cream or other treats when the coaches were not looking) and he only batted maybe twice in a game.

This year the player is Call Bell.  He has only played soccer but he is a total superstar at it.  He is one fast little guy and his eye hand coordination is just killer.  He is just wicked in team sports so I'm hoping this year will not be the Hakes kid alone in the dug out.  I'm excited for him because HE REALLY WANTS TO DO IT and if he wants it than I want it.  I love him so much and seeing him shine makes me glow.  So this year it shall be something beautiful hopefully, and if he is happy I will bear all the horribleness that is T-Ball happily.

Oh and I just found these old soccer photos and so I figured I would share them.  Rachel in what might have been her first and very last team sport.  Gosh she is is cute and so is Callum.

Kids first :p

I miss the days of diapers and no sleep!  Did I just say that? Yup!  As the mom of 2 five year olds and one barely 7 year old I can easily confess that this is not easy.  

My twins are going two very different directions.  Callum in sports and Rachel with dance and gym.  I love seeing this.  The problem though is that this makes things very difficult because now the days when my babies had nothing now we have t-ball.  It's always easier just doing gym so we are all together the whole time.  We literally are all scheduled 6 days a week for children's activities.  Next month my goal is to start my kids in Hebrew school at the Chabad and that means we will be booked 7 of 7 days.  Oy vey.  

Emotionally they both are going through different stages as well.  Rachel and Callum are both growing and becoming very social but they are struggling with comparisons and rivalry.  Their teachers and I know and understand that they are both two individuals and no two humans are alike.  Callum is excelling in books and math.  Rachel in art and other pursuits.  While the teachers and I don't ever compare they compare to one another.  Callum will tease quite a bit.  This is a delicate balance between teaching and just downright punishing.  I'm thinking next year in school it is time to separate them in school and other things.

Harm continues to excel academically and socially but at gym he is struggling with teasing for the first time.  The older boys tease him because on the gym floor Harm delights in the mundane like conditioning and the older boys think that is pretty dweebs.  This has been a great learning experience for him!!!!  He is learning to be tough and not let theses children bring him down,  on the other hand I worry about him dominating his classmates.  He runs bets he knows he will win for money.  He sells lunch items from home for money and toys.  Yup, you can tell which of my children is a native Las Vegan!  This takes a lot of redirection and love.  I'm proud of him but we don't need a little Steve Wynn or Sheldon Addleson in the playground.

This leads to the mere fact that they all need me more.  They need hugs, refereeing, one on one time, heart to hearts, and goodnight songs and they need all these things every single day!  At times like this I feel like the easy thing is my electronic associates!  iPads, iPhones, DVDs, and DVR are easy assistants but no replacement for having s real mother with hugs, and kisses.  So I try earnestly each day to live by my promise their needs come before my work and I pray the rest will fall into place.  Of course it doesn't all get done.  I've cooked a single week night since school started.  I do laundry only by emergency!  Which means I can do get away every two weeks or so.  But the kids feel the love and that in life is what matters.

Harmon's first book! Camp creeper trip

I promise you none of this book had my help.  I have been so busy writing my own stuff that Harmon decided he wanted to be like me and did this all on his own!   I could not be more proud of my little mini me😍

Pictures and story by Harmon Hakes

One day a herdof creepers were walking afar camp creeper trip. Tons of creepers do it. The scoutmaster was old or older man and his Royal creeper was right next to him in line.  The creepers wore numbers on them there was seven. The one in the back was the funny and a little smarty. Everybody picked on him.

When they got there they set up their tents had dinner. Set up their sleeping bags went to the fire while they told stories. People played then they went to bed. 

The next day they woke up and went to get breakfast. The last creeper only got 2X. Then they talked about all their adventures. They called him an idiot. He went exploring by himself for one hour.

Later our hero Brian found out their camp. He wanted to get kill all the creepers there. He decided that he should make a T&T block so he did.

Later at lunch time the left out creeper saw a big red things.  He tells the scoutmaster but the scoutmaster doesn't listen.  So he goes to lunch.

The left out creeper recognizes that red stuff and so he runs away.

The TNT explodes and the other creepers die.

Harmon Hakes was born on January 17 when he was six and seven he got inspired in Minecraft so he started Minecraft books and comics he always enjoyed them.

Look for more adventures!