Double Your Fun while still being in Harm's way!!!

When I was first pregnant I joined a message board. Something I never had done. Now I'm on three (when I can be online not working) and it is a great way to learn about things about being a parent and sharing in challenges. One thing though is that I became aware how people view people more. I guess I'm a little nieve but I learned leashes on children were a big no no. Sweats through out the day, pigtails for mom and daughter at the same time, badly coordinated family pictures, matchy outfits for your boys, matchy outfits for your twins, etc. all are faux pauxs and all things I happen to do on occasion. Obviously I don't always care what other's think :p

One useful thing I did become aware of was that sometimes twin parents get really caught up in the experience of twins and they are not as mindful as they should of their other child (children). I guess the same thing could be said if you were a mom who dreamed of a girl and had boys first and than a girl (my husband was in this scenario and will always call his little sister who was born just after him "pet" b/c his mom was just overjoyed with Cami's arrival after 3 boys). The controversy with twins come because they naturally garner a lot of attention. People in stores will ignore Harm's existence and lavish the twins with comments and attention. In argument of it I think it has made me try harder not to just have "twin time". I don't want Harm feeling left out.

I realized though, Harm gets to do things they don't get to do and has had special times they will never have. He has traveled everywhere, got to have me as a "stay at home mom", later got to go to work with me everyday, etc. It goes back to the idea fair isn't the same thing for everyone.

So I've started taking the twins out just as twins. They love their little leashes and they are very mellow so I can handle them. Tomorrow I'm taking them to breakfast (while Chris and Harmon embark on an odder but nevertheless adventure of their own). It is fun seeing how they interact when they are alone together and it is fun interacting just the three of us. I think it is another important thing for us, especially as I'm more busy and home less. Next year they start pre-k probably 8:30 to 1 or 2. I'm not getting this special time back. So I'm doubling my fun here and there, while still making sure Harm is also having his special time.

Dancing Queen

So I watch this show called Dance Moms and it brings back memories! When I was barely old enough to walk my mother enrolled me at: Barbra Driscoll School for Ballet. I both loved and hated those days. That is where I learned I could fly but I also realized all my shortcomings... It was a mixed bag.

Nevertheless I always figured Rachel would be a dancer. It seemed natural I would enroll her a age two and we would be doing recitals before kindergarten. It was just always part of the picture for me to encourage my daughter. Than last year she was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Ballet shoes got replaced with orthotics and dance class was exchanged for hours of physical and occupational therapy. The idea of dancing for her just left my thoughts.


Back to that show Dance Moms. Rachel has always loved anything with pretty girls but Dance Moms fascinates her. She begs to watch it and dances along side the talented girls on the show. It is obvious she loves it. Instead of princesses, this her make believe. She plays pretend all day, dressing in her tutus and dancing to her make believe music.

When this all sort of started, I didn't know what to think of it. I figured it wouldn't be anything that I would encourage. Her social worker Deryl (who is a close family friend and has been working with her since she was in the NICU), told me one morning: knowing Rachel's determination I bet she would become a dancer and would love sticking it to anyone who said she couldn't do it. I realized than that I was closing doors that were not for me to be closing.


I don't know if a child with cerebral palsy has ever become a world famous dancer. I don't know if that is something is something Rachel will ever really want to pursue. What I do realize is that it is not for me to decide. It is up to Rachel and I shouldn't be pushing it on her or taking it away from her!
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Who do you love more?

I find the three kids adorable as they interact one with another. They are all thicker than thieves and play all day.




The problem is the old saying about the "green eyed monster" taking over. Yes. Each one is very competitive and hates it if one of the other kids get something they don't. For example, I took Miss Rachel to the pool for physical therapy and the boys were devastated they couldn't come.

If you were to ask them, it isn't fair! Mommy doesn't love us like she loves... In response to this issue I would try and be "fair" by giving everyone the equal amount of whatever it be: time, toy, outing, etc.

What I realized is that life isn't fair. I don't mean that negatively. Just in the manner that God doesn't treat us all the same. We are different people with different challenges, wants, and needs. By treating my kids all the same I wasn't addressing their specific needs. I realized it is okay to take the time or do something special for one and not doing it for everyone. The trick is that I focus on each child and look at each child addressing specifically what their needs are.

Callum doesn't need hours of physical therapy but he does love treats and needs someone to babble on with, so after I took Rachel to therapy I later took him to browse post-Valentine aisles at Walgreens. We munched on chocolacte and we chatted. Later the next morning Harmon needed help with his track and I used it as a chance to go over his "self regulation" therapy. We had a ton of fun and spent much of the time laughing.

So who do I love more? Well, I'm sure I'll be accused life long of favoritism; but now as a mom I understand what's it means to say that I love everyone as much as the other. What might seem to one child as favoritism, really, in our home is meeting each child's needs as an individual. The challenge I have as a mom is to make sure that I'm there for each one.

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Mozart and Orlando Bloom never had this problem!

I don't know who would ever call this gentleman a sissy!

So why is it a big deal if my little man is rocking the same look?

It started last week with Cally getting his handsome hair in his eyes while playing. I put it in a ponytail and he was super happy!!!! So he started asking me now everyday, "I want a ponytail!!!" His daddy didn't take it too well. He got teased by his family yesterday at our niece's party and that made it hard for Chris. So today, despite Cally's begging he was denied a pony tail. I don't get it. Maybe b/c most of my brothers and nephews have (or still do) rock long locks. It is fun and Cally looks adorable.

Look closely for the long haired family!

Harmon had cute blonde curls and I don't think I will ever forget them. One day I'm sure Cally will want a big boy buzz cut but I hope that day isn't too soon. he is just the cutest with that little hair. He always say it: I'm not handsome, I'm cute!!! Yes Cally you are cute :)

Vintage Harmon... I wish they hadn't cut his hair when I was in the hospital!

Oh and for a fun mention our nanny Miriam found this toy and it freaked us both out. The model looks just like Cally Cally. Maybe we should have pursued modeling for these guys :p

The joy of potty training!!!

Today this little girl decided she needed to stop wearing diapers. It was much like when Harm decided the reward of wearing a fun Pull Up and earning stickers was much neater than the connivence of peeing in a diaper.

To ensure she really was peeing in the potty and the diaper that has meant one of us adults has to sit and watch her. This is surprisingly fun. We talk and laugh. She has such a look of pride and happiness. It is good to be able to reinforce such a neat thing. It makes think I need to sit and talk with my daughter (and the boys too of course) more often. She is a very neat girl who is very smart. Also I'm giddy that I might be able to get one more child off of diapers very soon!

Itty Bitty Bad Luck Committee!

If you know me on Facebook, through church, through my mom's group, or through message boards I'M NOT DEAD!!!!! I'm not dissing anyone. It just has been a tough go of things (but it has led to a lot of good things).

This week we went through a series of unfortunate events. I found out that I had a concussion from my accident on Friday after I got really sick on Monday (and needed my mother-in-law to pick me up and get me home... yeah, embarrassing). Harmon got sick on Tuesday. Miriam, our nanny got sick Tuesday night (and that gal never ever takes a sick day) but she needed the rest the rest of the week off. Oh and Rachel got a double ear infection and stayed up all Tuesday night. So by Wednesday I put up the white flag. We all went to my parents (Chris and I commuted back and forth). I needed to sleep. I needed help.

It was a lot of fun. My family and I have all had our own individual stresses that have strained our relationship. It was good to get back on track. Harmon hung out with his cousin Sienna. I got to take the twins out to McDonalds breakfast on Thursday before heading back to Cruces to get work done. Chris and I got to spend time together. It was so much fun. I really owe my mom and brother for helping out! Also my dad for giving up the quiet for some critters.

I still don't know if I will get out any time soon. I've never been so swamped with everything work wise and at the same time I love sleeping as I'm trying to still heal from my accident and everything else. I have to be at church on Sunday b/c I'm teaching a lesson :p I hope to make it online and out to friend's activities.

In other happy news a few months ago in October, I wrote about a little baby girl named Layla born severely pre-mature. She came home this past Friday!!!!!! Happy homecoming Layla!!!!

Thanks for sharing Harmon :p

I had to pop in and out the whole day so I missed Harm's barf fest. Unfortunately it happens a lot because Harm gets night terrors and so we just treat it with Zofran and put him back to sleep. Within in a few hours he is just fine. When I got home this afternoon Harmon was feeling much better.

He asked me the normal questions that he likes to ask when I've not been around: Did you miss me? You want to see what I did today? Etc. I told him yes that I wanted to see what he did today; and so he decided to show me his BARF bucket. Still 1/2 full!!! He was so proud. UGH... BOYS!!!! The funniest part was when he told me: "it is orange cause I threw up the Pedialyte!

How do you split up the Three Amigos?

When I was little I loved the movie the "Three Amigos" now I feel like I live the movie. Everywhere you turn in my home you see little blonde heads moving around. But that brings us a serious question? How do you split up the Three Amigos?

I guess what is interesting is that I never felt like I just have twins and a singleton. Harmon was still very much a little baby when the twins were born. By the time the twins were a year old they followed Harmon like Harmon around like a mother hen. They drive each other crazy but my kids are thicker than thieves!

So what is the problem? Honestly I don't know; but according to many multiples literature and educational experts these guys need to be broken up. So next year as we look at life beyond Miriam (our nanny), we are trying to figure out what to do with everyone. It is likely Harmon will need to change his pre-k program (he has gone pretty far in it and needs to be around more kids who are considered "typical peers"). Rachel could enter special ed pre-k but I don't know if I want her in an enclosed class (like Harm's been in) where she doesn't have peers her age. Than there is Callum. He is doing great but I wonder if he can get potty trained in time to go to the pre-school we want him in.

We found a Montessori program that looks great, but all 3 would stay together in the same class. The lazy mom in me is like this is awesome. Chris drops them off, I pick them up and it is all in one place. But than I worry about how dependent one another is on each other. So that leaves the question, "do we really have to separate them?" It seems so much easier just to have them at one school all together, but I don't know if it is what is best for the little ones. Decisions, decisions!

I need to try "Defying Gravity"!!!!

Seriously I really do!!!! Gravity and I are not friends!!!

We were on our way to see the play Wicked when I tripped, slid down a slope, and re-injured my back. So instead of a nice dinner at Comos and one of my favorite plays I went and visited the ER. I'm doing better today and we just got more tickets to the show; fortunately we were slated to see the show opening night so we were able to buy tickets for Thursday. I'm just laughing at the irony of it all, I really have no luck these days.

For fun I think this is my 3rd picture of a hospital bracelet and this cat. It now officially a good running gag for the blog.

Surgery, spinal injections, bowel obstruction, and Dysentery, OH MY!

Anyone who knows me in real life has noticed I've not been myself since around October. We had chalked it up to doing too much and having a low immune system. This is what is going on.

In December we found out I needed surgery according to my Gynecologist. They got that fixed. I had scar tissue that was making everything lean left.

Than I was in a car wreck also in December (ladies night and go figure I was the only one not drinking :p). I didn't know than but it hurt my back really badly. So I had to start doing Physical therapy 4 times a week. Yesterday it was decided that what they were doing wasn't working so I had to get cortisone shots from my neck to my spine (12 of them) and they are sending me for an MRI. So hopefully we will get some good news and these shots will do the trick and I won't have to get more (b/c they hurt like heck).

Finally 3 days after my surgery I ended up in the hospital's ER. At first they said it was a gallbladder problem but further tests proved not so. That was the good news. That is when it was discovered I got Amoebic Dysentery while I was in Mexico this Summer (and no I didn't drink the water). Now they found an obstruction in my lower left portion of my bowel. I don't know how they fix that. For now we are waiting for 3 wks to see if we killed all the amoebas and than after that he will go over ways to treat the obstruction.

It has been pretty overwhelming but at this point we are fixing everything and nothing is life threatening. I will get better and I will be fine!! It just is hard when it hits all at once. So if I'm skipping out on things please don't get your feelings hurt. I've not quit my church! I'm just tired and in some pain. I'll be back though soon :) It just will take a time, b/c when it rains sometimes it doesn't just pour but you get hit by a hurricane. I'm just hanging in there and very optimistic the worse is behind me (it better be)!

The Tales of Kamikaze Kitteh

Since adopting our new Kitty Henry we often feel like this!

The joke since we got the new kitten Henry is that he is ALWAYS sneaking up on us. Take this picture can you spot Henry?

Answer: he climbed up under my sister and Cally's arms to go sneak food.

So this became a joke in the house. Henry is always getting in trouble and he has an insatiable appetite. Miriam our nanny and I started making a running gag in the house. We would say: "Kamikaze Kitteh is stealing mah Cheerios" or "Kamikaze Kitteh iz hidingz from evil toddleh!" Miriam and I have been doing these jokes several times a day b/c that kitten is always doing something naughty (he is very friendly though).

So in one of the English classes that I'm taking to hone my skills in writing before grad school they are making us do a twitter account. I dedicated it to: The Tales of Kamikaze Kitteh. If you would like to follow this for the dorkiest Twitter project ever go to: https://twitter.com/#!/franinvegas or you click the button on the side of the blog. It is silly but hopefully good for a laugh here and there.