"I March for Dimes Momma!"

Last year we walked. Last we had a pretty decent sized team. This year it was us. We were tired from moving and so we CHEATED! We came to the March of Dimes this year and just hung out in the kids booths and had fun. We did not attempt a 7 mile walk. We enjoyed the March of Dimes much more this year b/c of it! Seriously it was great. The twin's picture was featured on the official sponsor shirt (so that is why we all wore pink this year) so we didn't have to find coordinating shirts. There was food, bounce houses, corn sand boxes, etc. It was great :)

Most importantly though we actually tripled our goal this year. We are so grateful to everyone who donated to our team. Especially in this economy I understand that everything is a sacrifice. Even though our family is complete I hope with our efforts we are really helping other families through this cause. We explained to Harmon today that we wanted to help other people's babies like people helped Rachey and Cally. He was so proud he said all day to everyone "I'm marching for dimes! I'm helping babies!"

If anyone left still wants to donate it is never too late. Visit our team page at: link.

Innocent I tell you!!!!

I think it is funny. All day long while Harmon is awake the little things are a battle. My son is NOT a "yes man". He is a tough negotiator. Since moving he has decided he no longer wants to be potty trained. He no longer wants to nap. He no longer wants to eat breakfast. He just wants to be a pain in the rear... and of course play. Needless to say as parents we are at the end of our rope with him :p

So tonight Chris and I walk into the living room and Dad just gets so mad at him b/c he has taken off his night pants and pull up just after we had gotten him dressed for bed and there was trash all over the floor. Chris was livid. It had just been such a long night for everyone and Callum had just cut his lip. I realize seeing Harmon crying that he had gone pee pee in the potty. He did it all on his own and we feel like crap b/c we yelled at him: FOR DOING THE RIGHT THING!!!! That is like the biggest parent "no no" of all time. As for the trash on the floor... that was Rachel, not the poor framed Harmon.

We gave him lots of reward stickers and Chris lovingly read him a book and spent some special time with him. It just reminded me that sometimes with kids you can't jump to conclusions and you shouldn't get mad. I do both at times and I need to get better at not doing it!

Cute Side Story: This morning when he woke up he told me: "I love you mommy. I am happy today. I am happy to see you. I love you." I'm a lucky mom!

The Bucket List (Rough Draft)!

A dear friend of mine had a blog a few months ago. It was her "Bucket List Before she turned 30". She turns 30 in October and I will turn 30 in January. I thought about it and I liked the idea of doing a list for myself.

I just don't really know what should be on the list. I have about 8 months to get this list done So far I have: read a normal book, start consistently exercising, start cooking consistently for my family (I know that is the goal that never ends), and swim with dolphins. I need to think of better goals though.

I did think of things I want to do by the time I'm 40. That list is as follows: get a graduate degree, pay off my house, change careers, visit Israel and Egypt, and well that is it so far.

So I this weekend I'm going to work on my bucket list for 30 and 40. I'm excited. It is kind of fun. When I was younger I used to always make goals like this and I've kept most of them! It has led to a lot of excitement in this life. Being older doesn't mean I need to slow down!

Musical chairs is not fun in a new house!

Today was a challenge! When Harmon sensory issues started to manifest and the meltdowns started he destroyed his little dresser, curtains, etc, It was frustrating but we kept his room empty.

I was so excited to finally decorate Harm's new room b/c things with him have been going so much better. Harmon has been picking stuff out for a while now and we worked really hard on it to finish decorating it yesterday. Today he had a Sensory meltdown and he trashed the whole place. He had been off kilter all day and just finally got overwhelmed. Everything was destroyed: wall letters, lamp, etc. So I had to switch Harmon to the guest room. The room is much smaller with only one window. We haven't bought any decorations or furniture yet and it is a nice pleasant peaceful green. It will be safer this way b/c he can't hurt himself on furniture or destroy anything.

I'm sad that he still isn't ready at this point. I'm sad to see him struggling so much at times still. I can't imagine him being that upset and out of sorts. I just need to be patient, I know in time it will get better (he already has made so many new improvements).

What saddens me more is that Callum and Rachel are at the point soon where I wanted to split them up (they keep each other up by being twinsies... it is cute but frustrating) and have Callum share with Harmon. Today both Chris and I realized it is too dangerous to do that and Harmon could really seriously hurt him. We have the space where they don't need to share but I wanted them to be close. Oh well... hopefully all in due time!

I think we lost a critter somewhere (j/k)...

Vintage Harmon from our first move with him...

I don't think I've got words to describe this experience. It was 2 ginormus UHauls to just move everything. We have thrown out enough stuff to fill up one our our construction industrial trash bins. We have donated every bit of baby stuff and anything else we did not need. I've had to run non-stop to stores for curtain rods, curtains, nails, trash bags, etc. Through all of this we had Easter... sort of... I was peeling potatoes for dinner in a empty pizza box that was lying on the floor and we had no hot pads or aprons (we left them at the old house).

Don't worry though, we didn't lose a single critter!!!! That is b/c my mother kindly took them until Saturday night (and Chris' Mom saved our bacon by taking them for today). So I guess all is well that ends well. Honestly I whine but I'm loving my new home and once we are settled it will be so nice :) We had a friend help us set up so much and today Miriam our nanny just kicked organizing booty and so now it looks more like a house.

The hardest part from here on out really is finding some killer chairs for bar top and makeup desk... oh and finishing the house! Seriously, this morning I was in my night clothing when I have a tile guy show up randomly right at 7 am. From that point on we have had trim carpenters, electricians, more trim carpenters, internet man, etc. trounce through the place. We still have more paint, more tile work, more trim work, etc. to get done. At least I know most of them well but I will be glad when they are gone. It might be a few weeks though. Especially b/c I accidentally designed my backsplash to look like a stainless steel Zebra :(

There are a lot of "little fixes" like that every where... oh well at least we are in! I'll share some pictures later on :) I have no idea where my camera cord is!

Pulling the fluffy bunnies out of our...

DH has spent his whole career in construction. I've spent a vast majority of mine working in male dominated companies. Both of us are very familiar with the term "I'm going to have to pull fluffy bunnies out of my butt (often the term is much cruder but this is a family blog)".

Honestly this week I think that saying is the most appropriate thing I can do to describe how we both have felt! What were we thinking trying to get this house done 3 wks early... but we did it... sort of... We still haven't gotten our final inspection (it should be first thing tomorrow) but Chris did get us a gas meter! The house is still missing a few minor details like internet service, a missing cabinet door, and the back splash BUT we have what we need to exist like electricity and gas. Everything should be done 100% by the end of next week.

So we are moving tomorrow. I've worked my tail off getting our current house ready and Chris pulled the fluffy bunnies to get the new one done. The house is beautiful. Everything is just how I wanted it to be. We feel really blessed :)

Mid-Week Funnies (Wild Sauce & Cross-Dressing)

Tonight Rachel woke up early and so she was sauntering around while Chris and I were eating dinner. I was having Buffalo Wild Wings and my sauce of choice is the Wild Sauce which is one of the hottest. I tried to dissuade her from trying my food but she would not deter. She took a big bite, turned red, and asked for "wa wa (water)" and after a couple of sips wanted another bite of chicken! She is so my girl ;)

Today Cally wore a vintage outfit (I will take a picture next time) that I think my brother's wore. It is a bright red romper with a small embroidered strip of trucks on the breast. Everyone at gym kept calling him a little girl! Poor guy. Even his physical therapist of 15 months saw him across the room and said what a pretty little girl with curly blonde hair. We counted 8 times he was identified as a girl. At least everyone agreed he is a pretty little girl!

Harmon in heels at Payless

Finally Harmon today was very sad. I had to put my foot down, he wanted to wear my make up. I try not to say no if he wants to wear the occasional bow or play with a pair of high heels but I think he is getting to the age now where I can't let him turn into someone from the movie "To: Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar"! After all if I let him wear make up Rachel will want it too. Than Heaven knows Callum will want it next and he is already pretty enough!

The Tale of a Pig!

We were at Walmart and often the twins point to things that I let them look at. This trip Callum's eyes affixed a big stuffed piggy. It was very cute to see him hold it and smile. When it was time to go we gave the cashier the pig to put it back. Callum watched his pig sitting there in the returns and slowly his eyes welled up in tears. I've never seen him attached like this. It was so sad! We caved. I felt like those cheesy Visa commercials: stuffed pig $10, happy twin PRICELESS.

One thing I realized afterward is that Callum very rarely gets things. We buy a lot of things for Rachel b/c she is the only girl and Harm b/c he is older. Callum gets his hand-me-downs gracefully. I was glad we could get him something all his own. I want to do better by him and make sure he doesn't get lost in the middle.

So now our little Cally Jolly has a beloved pig and a cute musical seahorse that he cuddles at night and carries throughout the house during the day. He is just too cute for words!

Our Cheesy Movie to Support March of Dimes!

As most who follow this blog know we were really lucky and blessed to have our little twins survive a pre-mature birth at 32 weeks. What makes it more incredible was that they were almost born at 23 1/2 weeks but with hospital bed-rest and the latest in technology they are here now and doing well.

March of Dimes is real important to us because they are such an important form of funding for resources to help save premature lives. Now with Rachel's diagnoses, we are understanding now how important that better technology and resources are given to prevent pre-mature birth and help the premies who do come early.

If you have time please watch our video. We have the official version and the funner music versions below. If you like it and want to learn more please visit our team page at: http://www.marchforbabies.org/s_team_page.asp?SeId=1492075&si=

Official March of Dimes Video

But if you prefer funner music watch this link ;)

And yes I know the spelling is attrocious and the grammar is worse. Give a dyslexic chick a break... I'm going insane with moving and really only had and hour or so to put this all together. It isn't as easy as it looks :p

I think I have too much on my plate...

I'm about to go completely insane! I may end up running away and becoming the crazy cat lady at the end of the street!

As it is in my day to day life I've enough work and kids and stuff to fill a 26 hour day with out sleeping. BUT now is worse!

We are moving in 6 days: I've been meaning to ditch all the baby stuff but never had time. There are so many rooms that need to be packed. I've got to get rid of so much stuff.

The new house ISN'T DONE! I'm still working with our trades for last minute touches and Chris is bribing trying to make sure we have a gas meter.

Than we are having a lot of people over at the new house on Sunday... yes... two days after we move in. Remember how I cook?


It takes a lot of preparation. Oh and remember we may not have a gas meter... yeah our cook top is gas!

Worse, I've neglected to do anything with March of Dimes this year. I want to cry about this. It is in 2 weeks. I need to do some fund raising. It is such an important cause. I just don't know if we can anything meaningful done this year :(

Oh well, I want to run away! I don't know if I can pull all these fluffy bunnies out of our hat in time. Maybe some of those Magicians in Vegas I knew could help?

My Pint Sized Super Hero!!!

Okay little Miss Rachel I thought Cerebral Palsy was supposed to slow you down! This being the case why in the world are you climbing out of crib at only 20 months (Harmon didn't climb out till way past age 2)???? Come on!!!

Seriously I don't know whether to give my daughter high fives for being so good at this or just cry b/c she can now escape out of her crib at any time. Well we are moving next week so I guess we will go ahead and get her into a toddler bed and her own room at point. This is a new challenge baby-wise but I really am just so proud of her. Everything with her is such a miracle.

I really just marvel at my daughter. All the literature says she should be struggling with this and struggling with that. I know she struggles to do things but honestly she kicks so much flipping butt it tears down every medical document I've ever seen or specialist we have encountered. She will always have this condition but if she keeps going as she has I'm not worried; she won't let it get her down!

Falling in love a little all over again

It is hard to believe that July will mark 3 yrs since we faced some major life changes. Harmon had just been born and the economy in Las Vegas NV was tanking. Chris was in construction where entire divisions were being dissolved and I was with the University who was also cutting jobs. Our best option was to try moving here to Las Cruces and giving Chris a chance to start this business w/his brothers and fulfill a dream. It meant building everything from scratch. I had to learn marketing better working full time plus, while caring for Harmon. Chris felt even more pressure to succeed. He didn't want to let us down (or himself). We worked so closely those days... sometimes late into the night well after Harmon had gone to bed. It was really fun. I forgot how close we were in those days. We were really united (although we sometimes were really sick of each other).

Now the company is doing well and is very big. The twins came and I pulled back a bit. Things are easier. I have a nanny, Chris has minions at work, life is good... but it was missing something. We no longer really ever had to work together anymore and it has made us drift away a little.

Lately we have been working together again during the day on a project. It has been giving us a new respect for each other and bringing us closer. I think both of us understand better what the other goes through. I marvel at how he balances so much and he loves getting my feedback on everything (the one nice thing about working with your spouse is that it is the one co-worker you can truly share any opinion with). We have had time to think about the future and what we want.

Last weekend Chris mentioned he wanted more meaningful dates so after the kids got settled at Gualita's last Saturday we went to the El Paso Museum of Art and saw their special exhibit "Monet to Matisse" where I was able to share with him my love of Impressionism (they had an original Degas even... my favorite). Afterwards he took me to a lovely restaurant, Cafe Central where we sat and didn't talk about work. It was so much fun. We laughed. We debated. We reconnected.

Last Saturday I felt that cheesy beat in my heart like I did back in the day when we were dating. Today we laughed so hard while driving to the Tile store. One of our favorite songs right now is by the Script. The chorus says:

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine

Saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah

We're smiling but we're close to tears

Even after all these years

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time...

I don't think I want to go back to the days where we were worried about if we would have steady income coming again but we are realizing we do need to reconnect more like we did in those days. We may not be drinking wine but we are trying to fall in love a little more all over again.

NO!!!!!! NO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got my butt kicked today by 3 little people! Prince and Princess Critter (Callum & Rachel) were a handful but nothing compared to King Critter Harmon! OMG he was beyond hard today. Every time I think the serious Sensory Integration issues he has than we have a day like today.

He woke up and he would not go potty. He tore up his very complicated train track completely apart. He wouldn't eat breakfast. He wouldn't get dressed. He still wouldn't go potty. I was counting the moments to 9:45 when Miriam, our nanny would arrive and he would be her problem. I set up a park date for her and the kids. Unfortunately she ran late... very late b/c of car problems. So I was unable to get work done and stuck with King Critter's reign of terror. Finally I convinced him to try and go potty. He peed all over me. Yeah, Miriam dodged a bullet there. At school he had 2 accidents and had to be put in a diaper. He wouldn't nap. It was frustrating. He tried to drag Callum in the living room. He screamed and hit all through out grocery shopping tonight. Nothing would please him.

Finally the day is over and he is in bed. I'm hopeful our King Critter will be back to his wonderful self tomorrow! I'm sure that this was just an odd setback day. He had quite a weekend with his Aunt Kallie's coming home celebrations, a kids carnival on Saturday, and a special Gualita dinner on Sunday. Tomorrow we are going back to potty training boot camp, stable routines, etc. It will be good... right?

Mommy peer pressure and the Evil Elmo!

Things in our home are calming down so I thought I would just share some fun thoughts today.

In my different circles of friends and with my in-laws I think everyone assumes I'm this crazy laissez-faire mom. Than we meet for play dates and suddenly I'm the crazy strict mom. Our kid's snacks are apples and grapes... everyone else is munching on horrible things like Goldfish and Animal Crackers (seriously I know those things are not horrible BUT if I can have my kids eat something better and they love it I prefer to do it that way). In public I'm the one barking "no", "don't", "stop that", etc. ruining my kid's fun while the other moms are commenting on how cute their kids are doing the same things I don't allow. One friend jokingly asked me the other day if I was going to keep Callum and Rachel rear-facing until they were old enough to drive (yes, I still rear face them). Call it peer pressure but I feel like such a prude.

The funniest is kid's TV. I was so addicted as a child. I felt like I missed out on a lot. All of my friends told me when I was pregnant I would cave. They tell me I was nuts for not doing any TV the first few years hardly (I was called on one occasion a Mommy Martyr and on another a Nanny Torturer). Even though it has been hard I've always tried to keep it off and steer Harmon towards interactive play and I think it has helped him with his Sensory Integration a lot.

Harmon is three though and so I thought it was time I started incorporating maybe 15 or 30 minutes a few times a week so he wouldn't feel culturally deprived. At first it went great and it was such a nice break for me to have a few minutes in peace to read the newspaper in the morning every few days. But than quickly started DEMANDING his TV. So we had to stop. No more Curious George or Sesame Street. It had become Harm's crack habit. So we have a new method now. He earns his "video time" and we only have one video. His beloved Thomas. I like it b/c it has very low key with graphics and sounds. Less addicting. I even ordered a 2nd video if it gets boring for him. I'm always teased by my close friends especially.

I do still try to be a fun mom. I let the kids eat Happy Meals (granted they get apples and chocolate milk instead of fries and a soda). I bring fun snacks for church and the kids always get a small little dessert each night after dinner if they eat their good things first. We always have great activities planned for them; and we are working with Harmon to earn toys and activities he really wants (the toddlers are still in spoiling range).

I dunno though. I suspect one day my kids are going to think I'm a bit of a stick in the mud... oh well such is life ;) I can live with that... I just need to learn to not let all my friends teasing bug me. They can do what they want for their kids but for mine... that is why they are mine!

That was sooooo bad!

I know a happier blog for today but I never even turned on my computer yesterday. Early Tuesday morning around 2 am I couldn't sleep. By 3 am I was non-stop vomiting, etc. It was so bad. I've not been sick like this in over five years. By 9 am when Miriam, our nanny got here for work Chris was rushing me to the doctor. Chris took a picture to tease me later, but there is no way I'm going to post it. I looked so bad! I kept blacking out and dry heaving everywhere. I had to be put on IV's for a while so they could rehydrate me and than they thoroughly drugged me.

War Wounds from the IV :(

So the long and short of it is that hopefully it was just a stomach virus. Some others around here have had it, just not like I did. I'm feeling a little better right now but I'm not eating yet. I must admit it has been nice to sleep for two days straight but if I'm not well to get some basic stuff done tomorrow I'm going to go crazy. Chris today designed the tile work for our master bath and Miriam got to take the kids to gym with out me. It is killing me that I can't be doing all of this on my own. I love being busy and right now I've got some major cabin fever going on.

I'm grateful for good health. When I was in college I ended up in the hospital for weeks with a bout of pancreatitis. I forgot how miserable it was to be sick like that. May I never get sick again!!!

Dust bunny nightmares and a deep thought...

Last night I couldn't sleep. I think that silly dust bunny picture scared me! I took Benadryl with no luck. Finally at one point around 4 am I just sat up reading news on my IPhone for an hour.

Seriously I think I'm stressed. I have so much to do before we move. March of Dimes is at the end of the month and I've not even started. We have big decisions concerning Rachel's treatment and what to do with Harm this Summer. There are so many other things going on addition to that I feel like I'm in a blender. I can't wait till June. I need a serious vacation if we manage to live to that point :p

Deep thought: Today Chris told me about a business associate who passed away by his own hand. It was really surprising, I never would have guessed him. I guess that is the point. In a hymn there is a line that says: in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see. I think that is true for everyone... some more than others. It has always surprised me to find out people who I thought had it all together sometimes really struggled to a near breaking point.

It reminded me of when I was in high school and a speaker said something: in life you can either always bring a person up (smiling, being nice, treating others with respect, empathy, etc.) or bring a person down (gossip, stealing, stereotyping, judging, etc.). At the end of the day the choices you make in treating others will define you. I hope I'm bringing others up in my day to day actions... Thank you to those of you in my life who do the little things to bring me up!

Tomorrow I will try and blog about something happier! Tonight I'm just being a little deep.

My dirty little secrets ;)

Right now we are preparing to move in 3 weeks. In preparation we started packing things up (our walls are so bare right now) and we are also doing some big time cleaning. Oh my heck how is my house so bad?

One of my secret confessions is that every now and again we send our companies' cleaning crew to our house and they do a deep clean for a reasonable price (home builders have crews that clean the houses in various stages of construction until it goes to the home owner). Even with that and my efforts here and there I must admit I have some secret nastiness. The big thing like the kitchen and bathrooms are great but I'm noticing things like the base boards breeding dust bunnies and I fear the what might be behind that stove and fridge.

The worse is our fridge!!! How does it get so bad? I could swear I clean it once a month. There is always a bevy of dead or dying produce. How is there yogurt spilled everywhere when we buy the little yogurt single serving containers? The sad part is I couldn't even identify most of the stickiness.

So on to my other dirty secret: potty training. Because of Harm's sensory issues all of his specialists told me don't use things like the 3 Day Method. Don't push. Don't get frustrated. Well, I know broke the last rule but that is in the past. I've got great news, Harmon has gone one full week without a pee pee accident!!!! We use the Pull Ups b/c he still won't poop but pee I'm safe to say he has got it down. I guess for us our secret really was just waiting till he was ready. It has been so easy once he made the decision. Now for #2 but like #1 I'm letting him let me know when he is ready and I'm gonna keep up the encouragement in the meantime.

Now I find this whole pressure about potty training sort of funny. Changing a dirty diaper isn't a big deal. I guess after 3 kids in 18 months poop is just life. I don't even think about it anymore, it is like changing the kitty litter box, simply routine.

My last confession isn't dirty. Just sort of nice. Chris and I are like peanut butter and jelly on the weekends but this weekend he got caught up working so I was on my own with all 3 critters. In life I rarely am intimidated (just ask anyone who has worked with me) but being in a public place with three toddlers by myself, running around, intimidates me! Because of my my arthritis I have a lot of difficulty handling all 3 kid. So when it is just me (which isn't often between our nanny and Chris) I often stay home where the environment is controlled. The critters were restless though and so I dared to take them out on a walk by myself. It went great so later I took them to the park. It was really empowering! It had been a few months since I had tried something like this (and last time was a disaster). This weekend was great and so I might even try again sooner than later.