The "Merry" in Christmas...

Today our company was able to donate 200 lbs of ham, some cash, and over 300 lbs of food. Chris and his brothers let me lead the project and it was everyone giving: homeowners, trades, company staff, and many others. I think we all know the need is so much greater than what we were able to do but now everyone just wants to make this a small start!

For everything I did or will do this Christmas, this meant by far the most! I look at everything I've been given and I can never give it back. But just doing something small and hopefully starting something bigger might make a small difference somewhere. I get so distracted by the world but when it comes down to it this is what Christmas is supposed to be about.

It's official We are adopting...

and it is a boy!!!!!!!

Oh wait... Sorry!!! Those are old pictures of Harmon :p GOTCHA!!!!!!

Here is our newest addition:

He comes home tomorrow. No name as of yet but he is a 100% all black kitten from our local shelter. I'm sooo excited. I've wanted a 3rd animal for a long time but Chris has resisted it. I don't blame him b/c things have been crazy here. Now I feel like our human family and fur family are all complete now :) It was such a thoughtful gift to let me get my "bad luck" kitty!

Winter Profesional Pictures...

These were taken a month ago but I've not had time to upload them to my computer until today. I think we are going to slow our schedule. The 3 kids first year they got their pro pic 3 times in that year. Their 2nd year we did them twice. This year I think we will do them in 9 mos. They are growing and changing less so there isn't the need like there was to do it more frequently.

What a load of Smurf: My Ridiculous hunt for a Christmas Toy!!!

I have a problem! Rachel thinks she is a Smurf. She doesn't like toys in general but her Gualita saved some Smurf toys up during the summer and gave them to her. She goes crazy, especially for Smurfette. She walks around and says: THAT'S ME!!!!!! She saw the movie at Thanksgiving and she was fully smitten after that!

So the problem is not that she like Smurfs. Rather that there are NO FRICKIN SMURFS AROUND!!!! It is crazy. I think they are purposely giving us a Smurf shortage to jack up the prices. For example I'm trying to get the 21 inch plush at Toys R Us of Smurfette b/c after all she doesn't see Papa Smurf and say: THAT'S ME... she says it about Smurfette. Of course I've been to 3 flipping Toys R Us, 4 Kmarts, 2 Targets, and pretty much every where else. It is unavailable online. No one has it except Sears and those jerks are charging $42 for it rather than $21. That is DOUBLE the price which is a no way in heck for me. So if anyone is at Toys R Us and sees this thing please let me know!!!!!

In the mean time I found Smurfette's mushroom house and these really cheap knock off plushes. The funny thing is I really hate the idea of Smurfette b/c she isn't the best role-model (as my friend and I were joking I would kill for a great Hillary Clinton doll or Margaret Thatcher one). But when it comes down to it from a feminist perspective Smurfette is not the worse thing in the world (she isn't Barbie) and I love seeing the joy Rachel has about her. So I shall continue my Smurfette quest till the ends of the earth...

Why do I do these things????

Around the holidays I always bite off more than I can chew. I don't know why I have to wrap every gift just perfectly with a bow around them. Especially only to have Harmon break into some of them and undo all my hard work (I think I've got him scared to ever do that again :p ). Or like today I rearranged my whole schedule to attend Harm's pre-k Christmas party and he didn't even acknowledge that I existed.

We are cutting back this year. We had to drop half the Christmas Card list :( Most of my shopping was done far in advance. I'm not going to even try to bake anything this year (instead I bought a ton of those big tubs of popcorn and I'm going to make small bags for friends rather than cookies. But I also took on new projects like hosting the companies' service project and agreeing to the several gift exchanges that come around this time of year.

I guess I will always overdo things. It is my nature to jolly all year long and overextended b/c of it. There are worse things in life... right?

Some people just don't get him!

I get so frustrated sometimes as a mom. As I've mentioned in the past Harmon has Sensory Integration which is considered to be on the spectrum. His biggest challenge is organizing his world and dealing with his feelings. He gets so overwhelmed by things that wouldn't bug other kids.

This often leads to people judging him or judging me as a parent. I mind the judging on me. I know I'm a good mom and we are doing as much for him as possible. I do mind people judging him!!! They don't get him. They miss out on this sweetheart who is just delightful. Who yes, is full of energy, but also has a brilliant mind. If I'm ever sick or hurt he is always the first to give a hug and tell me he loves me! He reminds me of Chris everyday (and his family thinks the same thing).

Chris tells me most people wrote him off as a child and as a teen. He struggled a lot like Harmon and people assumed he was a bad apple. Now he is a well educated, successful, and wonderful adult. I know Harmon will be like that as well. I just don't want him feeling the pain of rejection and confusion as he Chris did. On Tuesday I'm going through another grueling meeting about services from the schools and I'm scared. I want him to get as much help now so when he is older he won't struggle like he is now. Seeing him struggle breaks my heart b/c I know when he is struggling it is hard on me but it is hardest on him. My angel deserves to fly.

Update on accident and some observations...

Seriously I don't think I will bore y'all with every detail but my doctor thinks I got a stomach virus and a sinus infection on top of the accident. I'm laughing while I type this b/c it is really sort of funny. What luck??? So I'm on Zofran to avoid the need for IV's (and it is working well as of this afternoon), phenergan for the night time nausea, Ultram for the pain of the accident which makes me less loopy than Vicodin and friends, and some sort of muscle relaxant that I've not gone near since it says "may cause sedation". I'll probably try it in a few minutes since I am going to bed anyway... but than again maybe not.

The funny thing about this was the big snow storm (which in the Southwest if you get a couple of inches you might as well call it a blizzard) on Monday night led to really poor conditions for the roads on Tuesday. Miriam was there, on time. I was so sick between pain and vomiting I couldn't even really walk. Stuck in the house with Puerto Rican babies who hate cold and snow, she never complained. She kept checking in on me. Trying to force me to drink fluids. She is like family. I can't believe how special she is!

A lot of people have reached out. I had a friend from El Paso who was off willing to take me to the doctors yesterday. People have brought over meals, gatorade, etc. Chris drove me crazy at times b/c he has whined a lot but even he has come through. He has covered for me on things, handled the car wreck stuff, left for work late/came early home, left for the doctors, yesterday and today.

I have a mountain I need to get done tomorrow so even though it is 9:30 I'm going to bed :p I've got to get better. I've got adorable snow stories and promise to share them tomorrow!

Drugs, pain, and snow... OH MY!

Today it snowed. I don't like snow! My idea of a White Christmas is on hanging out on the sandy beaches of Cancun... not this cold nasty wet stuff. I guess being stuck in the house became bearable because heck I don't want to be outside anyway. It has been hard on the kids. Tomorrow when I know more what has happened I will share the adventures of Chris and the babies! I've heard screaming and chaos the whole night. I'm sure I will have good stories!!! They just called and canceled school :( That means cooped up Harmon tomorrow.

As per the good news/bad news on me. I got sick to my stomach on the pain meds so I stopped taking them. So the good news is that I'm not all cloudy head like I was yesterday. The bad news is that I want to scream from the pain and I"m not keeping any food down still. I think tomorrow we will have to venture out for a doctor follow up!!! I would go tonight but I hate the snow so I would rather whine and complain on my blog than get cold :p I know, I'm weird but snow is really not my thing.

The Accident...

I get together with a great group of girlfriends every month. Last night we were in downtown. I was tired so I left early around nine. Anyhow, I had just entered the roundabout off of main street and a few seconds later a van plowed into me speeding and she t-boned the right side of my husband's vehicle. There is a lot to the story of her but I won't blog about it.

A friend helped me at the hospital while her daughters helped watch my babies so Chris could get there. Because my bones are osteoporatic I had to get practically my whole body scanned. They thought I fractured my wrist but it the RA had deformed my wrist. They were worried about me bleeding b/c of the meds I'm on but again I was fine. I've got a lot of bruising, whiplash, and strains but I'm so lucky b/c there were no breaks or bleeding!!!! I'm so grateful. They let me go this morning. I've been sleeping the whole day. I'm in some pain (it is getting a little harder as time goes by). I'm glad to be home with my kitty and my kids!

Such big little Cupcakes!!!!!

This was one of those days that our little Twinkies let us know they are growing up! Like Miriam our nanny said, it is so wonderful and so sad at the same time.

So Miriam and I cleaned out the play room. We got rid of 2/3 of the toys in that room! All the ride on toys, the activity tables, rattles, etc. are gone. We have already given away a ton of stuff and now there is even more.

So we also got rid of the high chairs. Now they sit in boosters like big kids at the table as of today. It was overdue! It is was one of those things that we just didn't get around to doing. Now we can have dinner all together as a family :) It is so wonderful.

Don't laugh and don't judge. We also got them child safety harnesses. Today was their first day and again they loved it. It is my hope that if they get used to them I can start leaving the house with both kids by myself. Having a disability made it dangerous to go to a store or walk to the park b/c if one ran off I couldn't catch catch him/her. I don't think I'm going to dare with all 3 though for a while.

So our final cupcake brag would just be a cute video of them singing "White Christmas". Cally started and Rachel finally joined in :)

We have some cute neat stuff going on with Harmon too. Maybe that will be our next post!

The Battle Over a Crock Pot and other Black Friday purchases...

Despite being insanely feverish I still did Black Friday on Friday morning, but I wasn't too dramatic. As always I did the "Francisca, I'm a lazy person Black Friday" which meant I woke up at my normal time, threw on some sweats and hit a couple of stores. The nice thing is that I live in a horridly small town and all the BF obsessed people have come and gone but the good stuff is still in stock. Since it is before 11 the Early Bird specials are still on as well. I miss the doorbusters but lets face it I wouldn't have a chance anyway. I worry if I tried to compete for doorbusters than I would end up on ABC News getting crushed by an angry lady with a handgun and pepper spray. This year being sick I just passed my shopping list to the sales people who asked me what I was looking for and I was in and out. Everyone was kind. It was pleasant.

Chris is on my case though for the "deals" I bought. He can handle the few extra toys I added to the pile at the last minute since we are purging old ones. He can't deal with why I would ever buy a blender (since I've not ever blended something in the 5 yrs we have been together), Belgium Waffle Iron, a new griddle (when I have an old slightly broken one, and a Crock Pot when I still have one. I explained I got them for 10 dollars (post rebate) and they are all super top of the line! He argued the same old tired excuse: BUT YOU DON'T COOK!!!!!!! Details, details... If he keeps it up with that attitude I'm never going to start!

So I was ready to return my $10 treasures but Miriam saw it and was like "no way" this is great stuff. She did justify that I do make waffles for the kids occasionally when I have mom guilt, and on the weekends we make pancakes for the griddle. We need the blender b/c you never when you might need to blend something, after all there is always a first for everything.

Than there is the Crock Pot. I actually do Crock beans... that is about it. But this one is new and shiny and programable. For a working mom I think that the odds of me ever putting something together for dinner on a consistent basis will one day require a nice Crock Pot and this will come in handy. If not for a working dad like Chris who will probably get frustrated my lack of cooking eventually a nice shiny Crock Pot like this will come in handy for him... RIGHT???

Than again you never know who will show up to help you cook!

I know this was a random add on to the post but I love Gordon Ramsey and I find this commercial hilarious!

The thankless truth...

I've had an attitude of gratitude on my mind this whole past week. I think tonight I realized something though!

Harmon just traipsed into my room. He was crying b/c he couldn't find something, he won't go to sleep, Daddy is mean, etc. and so I let him sit next to me. Poor Chris has had it up to here with that boy. I know that look of total utter frustration. Being real sick and him having to hold down the fort this past week. Those kids are driving him batty.

I think he is going to be giddy going back to work tomorrow. When you work outside the home and you do a good job you normally feel good about it! You get positive feedback, have friends at work, earn money, etc. Being at home is difficult. Kids don't express appreciation like adults do. You love them though and you want to give them the world, but it is hard.

I don't think either of us knew what our parent's gave up and sacrificed for us until we became parents. Chris made me laugh b/c he texted his mom on Thanksgiving something to the effect of: "Mom now I understand how difficult it is to put together a whole Thanksgiving and than clean up afterwards... Sorry I didn't help more and thanks for everything!" I think about my mom who stayed at home for about 18 yrs just raising kids... I don't know how she did it! That chick must have had angels on her shoulders helping her.

So besides not appreciating my parents I also don't think I always appreciate my husband. Heaven knows he doesn't always appreciate me ;) Chris did so much this extended weekend to help me get better. Just slowing down and watching him in action made me glad for everything is his doing. We have had rough spots recently but we have really overcome a lot of it. I think if we can express our appreciation more it will make things all the better. So Chris, thank you for everything you gave the kids and me this weekend and always!

So I guess all this gratitude thinking has me realizing... I need to be letting people know more all the wonderful things people do for me. But moreover I need to let those closest people know that I appreciate them.

A quick note about me...

If you follow this blog I'm sure if I mention "hey I'm sick again"... the response is going to be "WHAT???" Why is she always sick? I don't talk about it much on the blog or in real life. This condition but it doesn't define me. Nevertheless the challenges do affect my life.

I have RA and the only way to treat it is by suppressing the immune system. As it has progressed significantly this past two years the medications are more serious. With that comes new consequences. One of which is that my body is unable to fight off anything these days. If the kids get sick, I will likely get sick. This has almost landed me in the hospital at one point in the past year. I'm hoping if I continue to eat healthy, stay active, and keep a good attitude my body might be able to fight these things off better. Currently I have a serious chest infection and what looks to be endometriosis. It isn't fun, but it will pass; these things always do. In the mean time I'm trying to focus on all of the positive I've got going on and not worrying about that which I can't change.

Thanksgiving Thanks!

My husband asked if I had a nice Thanksgiving... The answer was a resounding yes. It was just so peaceful. I don't remember a holiday lacking any sort of contention or worry. I'm sick again... what else is new. Knowing this, and knowing I'm just not the big meal cooking type Chris took over EVERYTHING. He did the most amazing job cooking it all: stuffing, sweet potato pie, full turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. I was amazed. He did such a great job. I think he should take over every year :)

My parents came. It was lovely to see them. I would lie if I didn't admit that it is hard for Chris and I not to see our extended family (and I know they missed us) but it is worth it not to feel so torn trying to please everyone.

Afterward we took the kids to go see the Smurfs at the dollar theatre. Thank Heaven's there were no other people in the movie b/c those kids acted like wild turkeys. I don't think we will be doing the regular movies anytime soon again. Nevertheless everything was so nice. I've got a lot to be grateful for!

So many people to be thankful for!

Today was just a really hard day for me. I overdid it last night and than I had invited fellow mom friends who were not traveling today to come over and make Advent Calendars. I also had a transition meeting with Rachel's Service Coordinator Jorge who comes over weekly to work with her on developmental milestones.

So rather than feeling just overwhelmed on a day off I just had a good time. Nothing was ready when my mom friends came over. We all had a great time though and no one minded. our nanny Miriam and I have grown to love these ladies. Than I went and grabbed pizza, this way Miriam and Jorge could just chill while we all discussed Rachel's transition in August.

Chris got home a little after one so we let Miriam off early (she doesn't do holidays but she loves paid time off like all of us). I realized that even though I was tired I had my beautiful babies, a sweet husband, and just so many wonderful people surrounding us. When Rachel and Callum do transition I'm going to miss all our early intervention friends that we have made. I love our mom friends!!! I hope we remain close for years to come :) Than there is Miriam. She is like a sister to me. I'm so grateful everyday she has stayed with our family for so long. The love she gives my children is beyond diamonds and I've grown to just love her. When she does move on (b/c she is too overqualified for us) it will break my heart. She is just the best! I know it will be a lifelong friendship though when it is time ::heart::

So this Thanksgiving I'm going to be counting my blessings; but today I got an early start just by looking around and seeing the amazing beautiful people who filled our home this morning.