Harmon and The Cupcakes

Mozart and Orlando Bloom never had this problem!

2012-02-19T21:10:00.000-08:00

I don't know who would ever call this gentleman a sissy!

So why is it a big deal if my little man is rocking the same look?

It started last week with Cally getting his handsome hair in his eyes while playing. I put it in a ponytail and he was super happy!!!! So he started asking me now everyday, "I want a ponytail!!!" His daddy didn't take it too well. He got teased by his family yesterday at our niece's party and that made it hard for Chris. So today, despite Cally's begging he was denied a pony tail. I don't get it. Maybe b/c most of my brothers and nephews have (or still do) rock long locks. It is fun and Cally looks adorable.

Look closely for the long haired family!

Harmon had cute blonde curls and I don't think I will ever forget them. One day I'm sure Cally will want a big boy buzz cut but I hope that day isn't too soon. he is just the cutest with that little hair. He always say it: I'm not handsome, I'm cute!!! Yes Cally you are cute :)

Vintage Harmon... I wish they hadn't cut his hair when I was in the hospital!

Oh and for a fun mention our nanny Miriam found this toy and it freaked us both out. The model looks just like Cally Cally. Maybe we should have pursued modeling for these guys :p

The joy of potty training!!!

2012-02-13T21:39:00.000-08:00

Today this little girl decided she needed to stop wearing diapers. It was much like when Harm decided the reward of wearing a fun Pull Up and earning stickers was much neater than the connivence of peeing in a diaper.

To ensure she really was peeing in the potty and the diaper that has meant one of us adults has to sit and watch her. This is surprisingly fun. We talk and laugh. She has such a look of pride and happiness. It is good to be able to reinforce such a neat thing. It makes think I need to sit and talk with my daughter (and the boys too of course) more often. She is a very neat girl who is very smart. Also I'm giddy that I might be able to get one more child off of diapers very soon!

Itty Bitty Bad Luck Committee!

2012-02-12T20:16:00.000-08:00

If you know me on Facebook, through church, through my mom's group, or through message boards I'M NOT DEAD!!!!! I'm not dissing anyone. It just has been a tough go of things (but it has led to a lot of good things).

This week we went through a series of unfortunate events. I found out that I had a concussion from my accident on Friday after I got really sick on Monday (and needed my mother-in-law to pick me up and get me home... yeah, embarrassing). Harmon got sick on Tuesday. Miriam, our nanny got sick Tuesday night (and that gal never ever takes a sick day) but she needed the rest the rest of the week off. Oh and Rachel got a double ear infection and stayed up all Tuesday night. So by Wednesday I put up the white flag. We all went to my parents (Chris and I commuted back and forth). I needed to sleep. I needed help.

It was a lot of fun. My family and I have all had our own individual stresses that have strained our relationship. It was good to get back on track. Harmon hung out with his cousin Sienna. I got to take the twins out to McDonalds breakfast on Thursday before heading back to Cruces to get work done. Chris and I got to spend time together. It was so much fun. I really owe my mom and brother for helping out! Also my dad for giving up the quiet for some critters.

I still don't know if I will get out any time soon. I've never been so swamped with everything work wise and at the same time I love sleeping as I'm trying to still heal from my accident and everything else. I have to be at church on Sunday b/c I'm teaching a lesson :p I hope to make it online and out to friend's activities.

In other happy news a few months ago in October, I wrote about a little baby girl named Layla born severely pre-mature. She came home this past Friday!!!!!! Happy homecoming Layla!!!!

Thanks for sharing Harmon :p

2012-02-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

I had to pop in and out the whole day so I missed Harm's barf fest. Unfortunately it happens a lot because Harm gets night terrors and so we just treat it with Zofran and put him back to sleep. Within in a few hours he is just fine. When I got home this afternoon Harmon was feeling much better.

He asked me the normal questions that he likes to ask when I've not been around: Did you miss me? You want to see what I did today? Etc. I told him yes that I wanted to see what he did today; and so he decided to show me his BARF bucket. Still 1/2 full!!! He was so proud. UGH... BOYS!!!! The funniest part was when he told me: "it is orange cause I threw up the Pedialyte!

How do you split up the Three Amigos?

2012-02-05T16:48:00.000-08:00

When I was little I loved the movie the "Three Amigos" now I feel like I live the movie. Everywhere you turn in my home you see little blonde heads moving around. But that brings us a serious question? How do you split up the Three Amigos?

I guess what is interesting is that I never felt like I just have twins and a singleton. Harmon was still very much a little baby when the twins were born. By the time the twins were a year old they followed Harmon like Harmon around like a mother hen. They drive each other crazy but my kids are thicker than thieves!

So what is the problem? Honestly I don't know; but according to many multiples literature and educational experts these guys need to be broken up. So next year as we look at life beyond Miriam (our nanny), we are trying to figure out what to do with everyone. It is likely Harmon will need to change his pre-k program (he has gone pretty far in it and needs to be around more kids who are considered "typical peers"). Rachel could enter special ed pre-k but I don't know if I want her in an enclosed class (like Harm's been in) where she doesn't have peers her age. Than there is Callum. He is doing great but I wonder if he can get potty trained in time to go to the pre-school we want him in.

We found a Montessori program that looks great, but all 3 would stay together in the same class. The lazy mom in me is like this is awesome. Chris drops them off, I pick them up and it is all in one place. But than I worry about how dependent one another is on each other. So that leaves the question, "do we really have to separate them?" It seems so much easier just to have them at one school all together, but I don't know if it is what is best for the little ones. Decisions, decisions!

I need to try "Defying Gravity"!!!!

2012-02-05T16:00:00.000-08:00

Seriously I really do!!!! Gravity and I are not friends!!!

We were on our way to see the play Wicked when I tripped, slid down a slope, and re-injured my back. So instead of a nice dinner at Comos and one of my favorite plays I went and visited the ER. I'm doing better today and we just got more tickets to the show; fortunately we were slated to see the show opening night so we were able to buy tickets for Thursday. I'm just laughing at the irony of it all, I really have no luck these days.

For fun I think this is my 3rd picture of a hospital bracelet and this cat. It now officially a good running gag for the blog.

Surgery, spinal injections, bowel obstruction, and Dysentery, OH MY!

2012-02-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me in real life has noticed I've not been myself since around October. We had chalked it up to doing too much and having a low immune system. This is what is going on.

In December we found out I needed surgery according to my Gynecologist. They got that fixed. I had scar tissue that was making everything lean left.

Than I was in a car wreck also in December (ladies night and go figure I was the only one not drinking :p). I didn't know than but it hurt my back really badly. So I had to start doing Physical therapy 4 times a week. Yesterday it was decided that what they were doing wasn't working so I had to get cortisone shots from my neck to my spine (12 of them) and they are sending me for an MRI. So hopefully we will get some good news and these shots will do the trick and I won't have to get more (b/c they hurt like heck).

Finally 3 days after my surgery I ended up in the hospital's ER. At first they said it was a gallbladder problem but further tests proved not so. That was the good news. That is when it was discovered I got Amoebic Dysentery while I was in Mexico this Summer (and no I didn't drink the water). Now they found an obstruction in my lower left portion of my bowel. I don't know how they fix that. For now we are waiting for 3 wks to see if we killed all the amoebas and than after that he will go over ways to treat the obstruction.

It has been pretty overwhelming but at this point we are fixing everything and nothing is life threatening. I will get better and I will be fine!! It just is hard when it hits all at once. So if I'm skipping out on things please don't get your feelings hurt. I've not quit my church! I'm just tired and in some pain. I'll be back though soon :) It just will take a time, b/c when it rains sometimes it doesn't just pour but you get hit by a hurricane. I'm just hanging in there and very optimistic the worse is behind me (it better be)!

The Tales of Kamikaze Kitteh

2012-02-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

Since adopting our new Kitty Henry we often feel like this!

The joke since we got the new kitten Henry is that he is ALWAYS sneaking up on us. Take this picture can you spot Henry?

Answer: he climbed up under my sister and Cally's arms to go sneak food.

So this became a joke in the house. Henry is always getting in trouble and he has an insatiable appetite. Miriam our nanny and I started making a running gag in the house. We would say: "Kamikaze Kitteh is stealing mah Cheerios" or "Kamikaze Kitteh iz hidingz from evil toddleh!" Miriam and I have been doing these jokes several times a day b/c that kitten is always doing something naughty (he is very friendly though).

So in one of the English classes that I'm taking to hone my skills in writing before grad school they are making us do a twitter account. I dedicated it to: The Tales of Kamikaze Kitteh. If you would like to follow this for the dorkiest Twitter project ever go to: https://twitter.com/#!/franinvegas or you click the button on the side of the blog. It is silly but hopefully good for a laugh here and there.

My life is over!!!!!

2012-01-30T21:17:00.001-08:00

So I was reading Glamour magazine a few months ago and it talked about the angst of turning 30. This is supposed to be a time of mourning for me. It is official, I didn't win a Tony Award, a Pulitzer, and a Nobel... I'm a failure! I'm old, and now the only thing I left in my life to look forward too is pureed string beans and a retirement home in Boca Raton...

Well tomorrow I'm turning 30 and I guess I'm not following the advice of others b/c it really is not a big deal. Rather I think than feeling old, it sort of is like a badge of honor that says: "look at all I've done in my life in only 30 yrs and Dang GIRL I still look 20"!!!

So here is a list of things I've done in the last 30:

Went to the Intel International Science Fair in high school twice!
Helped teach others about the holocaust in high school and college
Protested the war in Iraq (and called it on those weapons of mass destruction)
Went to the best college in the nation, Hook em Horns!
Hung out in Frank Sinatra's old dressing room and got to know some of the neatest magicians of our time
Served an 18 month mission for my church in Los Angeles where I was able to help the deaf community, feed the hungry, teach English, and so much more
Did indoor sky diving
Played $100 bet on a black jack table (w/my sister) and won
Traveled everywhere in the USA practically
Stamped my passport a few times
Got to be a runaway bride once and called off a wedding
Helped build a successful business out of nothing
Ran off and got married in Vegas (ok I didn't run anywhere b/c I was already living there but I was married in Las Vegas which is cool).
Swam with dolphins
I've dared to move 1/2 way across the country several times on my own for new opportunities
Wrote a full length play and actually received an award for it
Had 3 beautiful children in only 2 yrs time and got my figure back

So those are some of the highlights. If I were to say it has been all good and I've been nothing but a success that would be a lie. I've been fired from a job, flunked a few classes, etc. I loved and lost many a time. I've gone close to crazy a few times (what great artist hasn't). I've been hurt by people who were supposed to love me and I know what it is like to feel alone. I've stared death in the face more times than I would like to have had, and I deal with a serious disease that robs me each day of strength.

I guess that is the point of why I'm not sad about this turning 30 thing. When I was a child, I felt alone a lot. I would sit and dream of all that I could do and be. I decided as I was a teen in and out of hospitals and later in college struggling once more that I have two choices: you can either go and live life with no regrets or you can play it safe and wallow in self-pity. I've rarely have played it safe and in that process I've lived more in 30 yrs than others have in 60. I refuse to not do things out of fear and I look to new adventures.

Being the youngest of many of my friends and family I've seen great examples that life is about living. You can't live for the past but you must always strive to live for your future with out regret or apology. I'm proud of all I've been through, even my failures. I have so many dreams for my future still in my heart. I've shared many on my blog and I keep a few in my heart. I want to live each day of the next 30 yrs to the fullest. Even if I fail I plan on moving forward with faith.

The Feminine Mystique meets the Princess Doctrine!

2012-01-29T21:54:00.001-08:00

Rachel is just a doll, or as my sister says "a dolly by golly". I've always had mixed feelings about having a girl. I want her to be strong and independent, yet beautiful and want to be pampered. Chris thinks she is a little too pampered but I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as she grows up self-suffiecient.

It was by accident one morning recently Rachel told me, "I'm a smart princess". I liked that! She is a smart girl. I loved that she knew that of her. Now she says "I am a Smart Princess". "I am a pretty Princess". So we are adding more fun stuff! I'm teaching her to say, "I'm a tough princess". I don't mind her being a princess but I want her by the time she is a tween to know that she isn't the type of girl who is not waisting time in a bell tower for a prince to kiss her. I realize that it will take time but I'm happy already that she is seeing the pride in being smart.

Hopefully by the time she is an adult and she looks at herself in the mirror she will see a smart, good, tough, educated, beautiful princess who doesn't need a man to be happy (but wouldn't mind a good one if one worthwhile comes by)!

Thomas the Train Vacation????

2012-01-26T20:14:00.000-08:00

So I have an odd confession. Some people push drugs, others push junk food, I push Thomas the Tank Engine! I just love this little blue guy. There is no violence. It has a wonderful message and of course he is cute! Miriam and I both are keenly aware that one day the boys will outgrow Thomas, but today they love Thomas! So we like to encourage the addiction!!!! Even girlie Rachel likes it a little.

So this Summer what will be doing the family vacation in Boulder City, NV. WHY? Because that is where Day Out With Thomas will be and since I lived in Vegas for years, and my bestie sister is there, it will be a ton of fun. I just think since the boys both wear the shirts, have train sets in each room of the house, and have probably 100 trains... what would be more exciting than getting to actually riding the train himself. Yes, I know I'm odd but the longer we keep Thomas alive in our home that means the longer we keep other things out of our home that might encourage the kids to tie each other up or jump off furniture. Heaven knows our families Health Insurance Policy appreciate this ;)

Sleep Over and a Movie Night

2012-01-25T20:23:00.000-08:00

We don't watch any television in our home except for Daddy's late night sneaking when I'm not around right before bed. So tonight I let the kids watch "Smurfs" the movie b/c after all Rachel thinks she is a Smurf. They dragged out all their pillow and blankets. It was an official sleepover. They loved just goofing around in the living room b/c Daddy insists it stays clean at all times. It is in these small moments that happiness is found.

One heck of a party!!!!!!

2012-01-21T21:37:00.001-08:00

I'm getting really used to having large parties but this one was different. In part b/c a week ago I still was in bed. Moreover though this year Chris went a little crazy with the bounce house. We did it and it was just so much fun. Chris, my mother, and young lady Brenna prepped and did a lot of the work. Harm (and all the other kids) just had the best time. We always have a lot of adult friends (who often don't even have kids) and that made it nice to just eat and talk with good friends.

Many friends ask me why we do such large parties. It isn't about being showy or anything like that. I want Harmon (and our twins when it is their turn to party) to just feel and know they are loved. They have cousins, aunts, uncle, grandparents, school friends, church friends, etc ho also all love him besides mom and dad. Today was a day we celebrate with everyone a little boy who has changed our lives. Also to be blunt it is a LOT of fun for everyone (including adults). You see people you never get to see and just have fun!

Here is a blurry pic of the MONSTER bounce house. It was an obstacle course.

This year Chris did the Pinata from the roof... Thank Heaven's he is good!!!

Harmon enjoying his Paternal family with the Hakes and Kohler families

Very special guests! My mom's best friends (who helped me as I grew up) came from El Paso. My Mom is the one on the end. Richard, Jaimie, and Mrs. B even out the group.

All the kids anxiously awaiting the start of Pinata wars!

Harmon attacking the Pinata!

Callum's turn to attack

Rachel sneaking cake

Happy Birthday Harmon

2012-01-17T21:49:00.000-08:00

Today my little man is 4 :( It goes too QUICKLY!!!!!!!!

Dear Harmon,

This has been a very good year for you. You learned how to hang upside down, potty train, spell your name, grew your vocabulary from 50 words to 1,000 + and can now argue like an attorney :) You also know right from wrong and want to care for the little guy (for example when you saw them hurt Bambi's mom you wanted to go take your Thomas Trains to the forest and save her and get those bad guys). We know you will always care and protect your baby sister!

We love how much you love everyone around you and everyone loves you. Your pre-school teacher calls you her "Boo Boo Bear" and your teachers in Sunday School adore you. We are always proud of how you want to read your scriptures and say your prayers. You have many good friends from our MeetUp group like Nathaniel and your best friend in school MJ adores you. Everyone in your extended family wants to hang out with you! Even our new kitten Henry loves you and you love him. Your best buddy is your brother Callum. He looks up to everything you do and are.

We know sometimes we get cross with you when you don't always do as you should. It is hard now that you are a big boy. You have chores and you have consequences when you do something bad. But with age and responsibility you are doing so many neat things like earning rewards, playing soccer, and going to school. Please know that no matter what you do we ALWAYS love you and we ALWAYS will love you. We don't care if you are rich or build houses like daddy, or whatever. We just want you to be happy and give your best at whatever you choose. We love you so much and we always will. You are such a special wonderful little boy.

So much love,

Mommy and Daddy

This post was co-written w/Chris

Runaway Kitty!!!!

2012-01-16T21:50:00.001-08:00

I love my new Kit-Cat. We named him Henry after King Henry the 8th (our inner history nerd finally bridged the naming compromise). Henry stays either on my chest or on my shoulder behind me on the couch any free moment of the day (when Bob my other kitty doesn't beat him to me).

Unfortunately the kids really love the kitten too. He is a very docile little guy and they don't hurt him. We have had docile pets their whole lives and so they know the "no no's" of pet handling. That doesn't keep them from loving this cat all day long. Poor Henry gets chased and carried into tea parties or train games. The kids adore him. They pet him non-stop when he is around. Rachel gives him kisses and as the picture below shows Harm reads him stories.

Chris and I have been worrying it is a little much. We had a cat named Sturgis and Harm loved him. Right before the twins came home from the NICU Strugis snuck out and by the time we realized (with in minutes) we couldn't find it. Living amongst cayote packs we always figured that was his fate. Harm missed him so much and even wanted to name Henry, Sturgis. So now Chris is teaching Harmon to have play time and space time for Henry. To make sure he doesn't overwhelmed or sneak out or get hurt by accident. He is doing good I think learning this. He is teaching the twins also to be gentle. We are hopeful Henry will not meet a similar fate and it is teaching the kids responsibility in caring and loving little joyful creatures.

So my husband is trying to kill me and other tales from the week!

2012-01-15T12:55:00.000-08:00

I stopped taking pain killers late about 24 hours ago and it is wonderful. I can think again clearly and type back at my usual speed. It has been a really crazy week since Wednesday and I'm tired as heck for it all, but I'm getting back to where I need to be and that is the important part of it all.

The surgery itself went well. There was scar tissue on my uterus from the c-section and it had overgrown itself tilting everything left and causing a lot of pain. It was an easy fix and the fact that it is not endometriosis is wonderful news. This means no long term treatment will be in the cards. Assuming it is all fixed, there will be no more surgeries!!! The operation was no big deal!

The odd thing that happened was Thursday. My mom left that evening back to El Paso and I was doing real well. Nothing was odd until past mid-night. I was vomiting so violently (and everything else) that I couldn't keep the medicines in or any fluid down. It was very unnerving b/c I had acute pancreatitis that had me in ICU in college and it felt like that. I ended up back in the ER and they were doing all sorts of emergency things and tests. When all was said and done my gallbladder was inflamed and my pancreas was slightly inflamed. I'm going to be following up but we are hoping the surgery made my gall-bladder mad and it is over with. It is killing me not to eat all the things I love like sliced salami and salsa, but hopefully in a few days.

My mother has been the funniest through out all of the drama. She came back to care for me. She has been caring for everyone and just holding my hand through out everything. I've always been proud of myself that I'm very independent but having her around was pretty nice. I forget how fun my mom is. She kept trying to use swear words during Scrabble on my IPad and she makes me laugh over her irreverent social commentary.

The funniest thing she did while here was tease Chris that he is trying to kill me. We watched Snapped and she decided it was the Gatorade that made me sick. She claimed that spouses always kill using anti-freeze in Gatorade, and she remembered him now fixing Gatorade for me the evening I got very. I know Chris isn't poisoning me but we all got a good laugh out of this

Of course if you had asked me in the hospital on Friday I might have turned him over to the cops. I was in bad shape but I still posted on Facebook that I was ready to kill him. I don't remember much from that day but I remember him constantly on his phone and even leaving for work. "But I had to finish payroll approvals for the trades..." was his excuse. I have a close friend who understands all about business (getting her PHD for it in fact) and she often consoles me concerning Chris' constant dedication. It is what it takes to get ahead. Still I think he will be in the middle of toasting our daughter at her wedding when his cell phone goes off and he will walk off claiming: give me a moment, it's the concrete guy. The joke in the family is that I'm his #1 priority... BUT...

In his defense he has been trying very hard this weekend to make it up to me and he even got me the balloon. He is doing all sorts of kind things this weekend, but still he is lucky I was heavily sedated Friday or I would have put his phone... (well it is a family blog so I won't finish but I'm sure you can fill in the blanks).

All is well that ends well and I think it is all going to end just fine. I just hope there are no more repeats of this week any time soon!

Making the most of it...

2012-01-10T21:35:00.000-08:00

This past week I've been filled with anxiety about the surgery tomorrow. I don't know why. I've gone through so much this shouldn't be phasing me AT ALL, but it is. The ironic part about it is that since I've been through so much the people closest to me (mom and Chris) are like WHATEVER. That just makes me feel very ugh about everything. Miriam I think has been a bright spot. She keeps it in perspective: this is going to suck but it will be good when all is said and done.

So to make the most of it I tried to have quality time with each of the kids. Unfortunately my new kitten needed shots, I had to switch vehicles (Chris blew out my rack & pinion so I've been in a rental), and a bunch of other stuff. Still Harm and I went to Barnes & Nobles, and we picked out books for the twins and he got the newest Thomas magazine. In the afternoon and evening I spent some time with each of the twins.

It was a delight spending this wonderful time with my babies. I hope I'm don't disappear or that I'm out of it. I worry about how that affects the kids and Harm especially has had to see me go through a lot. The funny thing about all this special time I had today. It made me think, "gee why don't I do this more?"

Potty Training x2, OH MY!!!!

2012-01-08T16:42:00.000-08:00

When it came to potty training Harmon was the bomb! We just bought some really cool Thomas the Train underwear, training Pull Ups, and a special box of candy for him. I also downloaded an app for my IPhone from Pull Ups and played the Potty Dance video on DVD every morning. Well after a couple of week Harm decided he wanted to Potty Train. He only had a minor pee incident in the Pull Ups a couple of times but he just totally did it all. When it came time to wanting the underwear he decided on his own and only had one accident. It was nice b/c we bribed him but he did all the work. I never dealt with pee or poop anywhere which was nice b/c I'm not a pee or poop type of person.

The problem is we can't wait for the twins like we waited for Harm. THEY HAVE TO BE 100% Potty Trained before they start school right on their 3 yr birthday. Harm didn't potty train till after age 3. This is daunting to me b/c I don't like the idea of pushing it. I don't want to deal with pee and poop everywhere. But Miriam swears she is leaving us at the end of August and if they are not potty trained they can not attend the AMAZING new pre-school I found for them. One way or another we need some potty training boot camp. We are thinking about the 3 day method... I'm not excited but if it is what has to be done!

The good Friday Rachel changed her own diaper in the morning while I was in the shower. She almost had herself fully dressed with clean diaper but she needed help with her button and her tights. (She also did her own hair obviously). So hopefully she is ready to start and than I'll probably do Callum later... Hopefully this will go well and won't be too nasty!

Encouraging Update on Mystery Surgery!

2012-01-06T16:35:00.000-08:00

Today in true Francisca fashion during my final appointment before surgery I grilled that doctor. It was just me and him and he leveled with me that it will MORE than likely be an out-patient surgery. He confirmed my suspicions he thinks it might be the c-section but what that means he doesn't know. We can't know until he goes in. I'm hopeful it won't be anything too complicated. After all I deserve a break ;) The only bad thing is that he said I won't be able to know the full results for possibly 2 wks (but if anyone can move test results early it would be me).

I'm feeling much better about things. I can plan for my children and not worry about disappearing overnight. They won't be trucked to Gualita's home. They will be with their Miriam and can see me when I get home that day and keep me company on my bed. It is good to know more but I'll be happier when Thursday of next week comes and everything is behind me rather than facing me!

A mystery surgery...

2012-01-05T09:37:00.000-08:00

Some people have asked me to explain what is going on. I really don't know. My doctor mentioned originally Endometriosis but than when it was time to confirm the surgery indicated he felt it was something else, but in true male doctor fashion wouldn't say what. I had an emergency c-section with the twins and so I'm guessing it is something to do with that b/c that is when my pain started. It makes sense that is what it would be.

The not knowing exactly what it is, is driving me a little crazy :p I like to know. I can handle whatever, but I want to know!!!! The idea of opening me up when they don't know what is wrong seems crazy. He won't even tell me if the operation will be in-patient or out-patient. How the heck do you make plans for that? I really think this is no big deal but I will feel much more at ease come Thursday when we KNOW it wasn't a big deal. Than my inner control freak can feel at peace.

Home is a great home base!

2012-01-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

I am based out of my home and it is different. That is part of the reason why my nanny and I are so close. We really do see each other every single day. The best part is the kids see me everyday and I get to have Gordon Ramsey on BBC in the background if I'm stuck on the computer. Also with Rachel's Cerebral Palsy I can actively manage her therapy. We have people coming in and out all day and before they leave I can meet up with them for 5 minutes and know exactly what is going on. When I eat lunch instead of cafes and co-workers I'm often seated with curly head twins and a lively Miriam. Even though the food is normally a frozen delicacy you can't beat the company. The best part is when I leave and come back I see the smiles. Yesterday when I came back home Rachel let me know she missed me! It was very cute!

Honestly I miss being in a real office a lot. When we first had Harmon it was a huge thorn in our marriage if I should stay at home or work in an office. This in between life I live is our compromise. I always read in the media: "The Battle Between Stay at Home Moms vs Working Moms!!!!!!" You read studies and one day one lifestyle is ideal and the other day the other lifestyle is ideal. I really believe that is a myth. It is finding what works best for you and your children is the right choice and forget about what anyone else thinks. I wish society didn't put so much pressure on moms that it makes them second guess themselves.

Come August it will all be over somewhat. The twins will be in pre-k 4 days a week from 8:30 to 2. Miriam will be starting her career in marketing or Graphic Design(she is really overqualified hanging out with us), and I will have the peace and quiet to really get things done. I should be overjoyed but I'm not. I will miss having the kids play games loudly in the other room. It won't be the same. So for now all I can do is take advantage of the moments I have now, even if it means I have to escape to Starbucks with my laptop at 7 pm at night to finish something in peace and quiet. Life is all about phases and soon I will be in a new phase that I'm sure I will also love. For now though I am just loving what I have.

My Doomsday Year resolutions!

2012-01-02T14:58:00.000-08:00

If you follow my blog on a regular basis you looked at the title and probably cracked up a little. Francisca is going to do resolutions??? They won't last long! After all my "before I'm 30 bucket list" was at least 75% a bust (granted I still have a month but lets be honest most isn't going to happen). Just in my quest to keep one house plant alive 7 innocent ones have died so I think the Horticulturist club of America would prefer I gave up that goal. How many times have I said I was going to start cooking??? That normally last one meal!

But this year is different! After all according to my mother the world is ending in December 21, 2012!!! I somehow doubt the prophecies my mother had told me since I was an infant but nevertheless if the world is going to end I don't want to have regrets and so here we go!

I will have a homemade meal at 5x a week in my home

(I know this resolution for me is like all the people who start diets on New Years Day only to dump it by MLK day but this time will be different)

I will not shop w/o a reason

(I'm an extreme bargain hunter so this will be hard)

I will eat 2 servings of Vegetables and 2 servings of fruit a day

I will stop eating processed foods and fast food every day

(after all soon my kids are going to want I'm eating soon enough :p)

I will read a book for no reason except that I like reading

(That hasn't happened in 3 1/2 yrs)

I will keep taking classes at night for fun since learning makes me happy!

(I've done this twice and it makes me happy but it is hard on the family but I refuse to let the guilt get to me b/c I need to do things for me.)

I will travel less this year

(It is hard on the kids and hard on me so this year I'm going to save my trips for something really special)

I will spend one special hour with each child every week

(I started doing this last year but I don't always stick with it, but it is very important!)

Chris and I will fall madly in love with each other again

(I miss the wild hot passion (I know TMI), the feeling you don't want to be with out each other, etc. We are still both so young but we act like old marrieds. Hopefully Chris will be on board for this.)

We will go to bed by 11 most nights

(I'm a 2 am warrior unfortunately)

I will find a place to swim a couple of times a week

(It is the only exercise I'm allowed)

Finally I will whine less, laugh more, and just be more optimistic!

I guess that is the funny thing about life. These are all things I should really be doing all the time. I just get so busy and life happens. I want to take better care of myself though b/c I know these kids look up to me and if this isn't the great Mayan rapture I'm going to need to be living healthier. That means sleeping and eating right.

I also want to focus more on my family. Chris and I spent TH-Sat in Albuquerque and 1/2 the time we worked or I shopped. All we ever talk about is the company it feels like. I want my moments to count in life. To be close with the ones closest to me. So even though there are a lot of resolutions that is why I'm ready to take it on! I want 2012 to be the start of a healthier and HAPPIER me :)

My Holiday Redux post!

2012-01-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

So I took a blogging vacation for the holidays OBVIOUSLY. It wasn't on purpose but there was just so much going on I've not had the time. It was great holiday though. We cleaned out all the old baby toys before Christmas so the kids each got a few gifts each that they are in love with. It was just really neat. We did Christmas Eve dinner with my family (and even my beautiful sister made it). The next morning each kid had a toy from "Santa" and a stocking (Chris insisted). After church they opened their family gifts. It was exhausting but neat.

Since than not much has been going on. The pets all got sick but everyone is feeling better. Chris and I went to Albuquerque for a few days and now we are back. I have a surgery coming up in a week in a half (it shouldn't be too serious... we just don't really know what is going on and so it makes it hard to plan) so things have been a challenge for me getting along. Nevertheless we are all having fun just being together and I'm so enjoying everyone (including the new kitten). I'm pretty blessed and there is something about Christmas that helps me remember that!

Below are some fun moments from Christmas eve and day!

The "Merry" in Christmas...

2011-12-22T22:28:00.000-08:00

Today our company was able to donate 200 lbs of ham, some cash, and over 300 lbs of food. Chris and his brothers let me lead the project and it was everyone giving: homeowners, trades, company staff, and many others. I think we all know the need is so much greater than what we were able to do but now everyone just wants to make this a small start!

For everything I did or will do this Christmas, this meant by far the most! I look at everything I've been given and I can never give it back. But just doing something small and hopefully starting something bigger might make a small difference somewhere. I get so distracted by the world but when it comes down to it this is what Christmas is supposed to be about.

It's official We are adopting...

2011-12-21T21:58:00.000-08:00

and it is a boy!!!!!!!

Oh wait... Sorry!!! Those are old pictures of Harmon :p GOTCHA!!!!!!

Here is our newest addition:

He comes home tomorrow. No name as of yet but he is a 100% all black kitten from our local shelter. I'm sooo excited. I've wanted a 3rd animal for a long time but Chris has resisted it. I don't blame him b/c things have been crazy here. Now I feel like our human family and fur family are all complete now :) It was such a thoughtful gift to let me get my "bad luck" kitty!

Winter Profesional Pictures...

2011-12-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

These were taken a month ago but I've not had time to upload them to my computer until today. I think we are going to slow our schedule. The 3 kids first year they got their pro pic 3 times in that year. Their 2nd year we did them twice. This year I think we will do them in 9 mos. They are growing and changing less so there isn't the need like there was to do it more frequently.

What a load of Smurf: My Ridiculous hunt for a Christmas Toy!!!

2011-12-18T21:38:00.000-08:00

I have a problem! Rachel thinks she is a Smurf. She doesn't like toys in general but her Gualita saved some Smurf toys up during the summer and gave them to her. She goes crazy, especially for Smurfette. She walks around and says: THAT'S ME!!!!!! She saw the movie at Thanksgiving and she was fully smitten after that!

So the problem is not that she like Smurfs. Rather that there are NO FRICKIN SMURFS AROUND!!!! It is crazy. I think they are purposely giving us a Smurf shortage to jack up the prices. For example I'm trying to get the 21 inch plush at Toys R Us of Smurfette b/c after all she doesn't see Papa Smurf and say: THAT'S ME... she says it about Smurfette. Of course I've been to 3 flipping Toys R Us, 4 Kmarts, 2 Targets, and pretty much every where else. It is unavailable online. No one has it except Sears and those jerks are charging $42 for it rather than $21. That is DOUBLE the price which is a no way in heck for me. So if anyone is at Toys R Us and sees this thing please let me know!!!!!

In the mean time I found Smurfette's mushroom house and these really cheap knock off plushes. The funny thing is I really hate the idea of Smurfette b/c she isn't the best role-model (as my friend and I were joking I would kill for a great Hillary Clinton doll or Margaret Thatcher one). But when it comes down to it from a feminist perspective Smurfette is not the worse thing in the world (she isn't Barbie) and I love seeing the joy Rachel has about her. So I shall continue my Smurfette quest till the ends of the earth...

Why do I do these things????

2011-12-15T22:17:00.000-08:00

Around the holidays I always bite off more than I can chew. I don't know why I have to wrap every gift just perfectly with a bow around them. Especially only to have Harmon break into some of them and undo all my hard work (I think I've got him scared to ever do that again :p ). Or like today I rearranged my whole schedule to attend Harm's pre-k Christmas party and he didn't even acknowledge that I existed.

We are cutting back this year. We had to drop half the Christmas Card list :( Most of my shopping was done far in advance. I'm not going to even try to bake anything this year (instead I bought a ton of those big tubs of popcorn and I'm going to make small bags for friends rather than cookies. But I also took on new projects like hosting the companies' service project and agreeing to the several gift exchanges that come around this time of year.

I guess I will always overdo things. It is my nature to jolly all year long and overextended b/c of it. There are worse things in life... right?

Some people just don't get him!

2011-12-11T21:47:00.000-08:00

I get so frustrated sometimes as a mom. As I've mentioned in the past Harmon has Sensory Integration which is considered to be on the spectrum. His biggest challenge is organizing his world and dealing with his feelings. He gets so overwhelmed by things that wouldn't bug other kids.

This often leads to people judging him or judging me as a parent. I mind the judging on me. I know I'm a good mom and we are doing as much for him as possible. I do mind people judging him!!! They don't get him. They miss out on this sweetheart who is just delightful. Who yes, is full of energy, but also has a brilliant mind. If I'm ever sick or hurt he is always the first to give a hug and tell me he loves me! He reminds me of Chris everyday (and his family thinks the same thing).

Chris tells me most people wrote him off as a child and as a teen. He struggled a lot like Harmon and people assumed he was a bad apple. Now he is a well educated, successful, and wonderful adult. I know Harmon will be like that as well. I just don't want him feeling the pain of rejection and confusion as he Chris did. On Tuesday I'm going through another grueling meeting about services from the schools and I'm scared. I want him to get as much help now so when he is older he won't struggle like he is now. Seeing him struggle breaks my heart b/c I know when he is struggling it is hard on me but it is hardest on him. My angel deserves to fly.

Update on accident and some observations...

2011-12-07T20:11:00.000-08:00

Seriously I don't think I will bore y'all with every detail but my doctor thinks I got a stomach virus and a sinus infection on top of the accident. I'm laughing while I type this b/c it is really sort of funny. What luck??? So I'm on Zofran to avoid the need for IV's (and it is working well as of this afternoon), phenergan for the night time nausea, Ultram for the pain of the accident which makes me less loopy than Vicodin and friends, and some sort of muscle relaxant that I've not gone near since it says "may cause sedation". I'll probably try it in a few minutes since I am going to bed anyway... but than again maybe not.

The funny thing about this was the big snow storm (which in the Southwest if you get a couple of inches you might as well call it a blizzard) on Monday night led to really poor conditions for the roads on Tuesday. Miriam was there, on time. I was so sick between pain and vomiting I couldn't even really walk. Stuck in the house with Puerto Rican babies who hate cold and snow, she never complained. She kept checking in on me. Trying to force me to drink fluids. She is like family. I can't believe how special she is!

A lot of people have reached out. I had a friend from El Paso who was off willing to take me to the doctors yesterday. People have brought over meals, gatorade, etc. Chris drove me crazy at times b/c he has whined a lot but even he has come through. He has covered for me on things, handled the car wreck stuff, left for work late/came early home, left for the doctors, yesterday and today.

I have a mountain I need to get done tomorrow so even though it is 9:30 I'm going to bed :p I've got to get better. I've got adorable snow stories and promise to share them tomorrow!

Drugs, pain, and snow... OH MY!

2011-12-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

Today it snowed. I don't like snow! My idea of a White Christmas is on hanging out on the sandy beaches of Cancun... not this cold nasty wet stuff. I guess being stuck in the house became bearable because heck I don't want to be outside anyway. It has been hard on the kids. Tomorrow when I know more what has happened I will share the adventures of Chris and the babies! I've heard screaming and chaos the whole night. I'm sure I will have good stories!!! They just called and canceled school :( That means cooped up Harmon tomorrow.

As per the good news/bad news on me. I got sick to my stomach on the pain meds so I stopped taking them. So the good news is that I'm not all cloudy head like I was yesterday. The bad news is that I want to scream from the pain and I"m not keeping any food down still. I think tomorrow we will have to venture out for a doctor follow up!!! I would go tonight but I hate the snow so I would rather whine and complain on my blog than get cold :p I know, I'm weird but snow is really not my thing.

The Accident...

2011-12-04T20:35:00.000-08:00

I get together with a great group of girlfriends every month. Last night we were in downtown. I was tired so I left early around nine. Anyhow, I had just entered the roundabout off of main street and a few seconds later a van plowed into me speeding and she t-boned the right side of my husband's vehicle. There is a lot to the story of her but I won't blog about it.

A friend helped me at the hospital while her daughters helped watch my babies so Chris could get there. Because my bones are osteoporatic I had to get practically my whole body scanned. They thought I fractured my wrist but it the RA had deformed my wrist. They were worried about me bleeding b/c of the meds I'm on but again I was fine. I've got a lot of bruising, whiplash, and strains but I'm so lucky b/c there were no breaks or bleeding!!!! I'm so grateful. They let me go this morning. I've been sleeping the whole day. I'm in some pain (it is getting a little harder as time goes by). I'm glad to be home with my kitty and my kids!

Such big little Cupcakes!!!!!

2011-11-29T21:43:00.000-08:00

This was one of those days that our little Twinkies let us know they are growing up! Like Miriam our nanny said, it is so wonderful and so sad at the same time.

So Miriam and I cleaned out the play room. We got rid of 2/3 of the toys in that room! All the ride on toys, the activity tables, rattles, etc. are gone. We have already given away a ton of stuff and now there is even more.

So we also got rid of the high chairs. Now they sit in boosters like big kids at the table as of today. It was overdue! It is was one of those things that we just didn't get around to doing. Now we can have dinner all together as a family :) It is so wonderful.

Don't laugh and don't judge. We also got them child safety harnesses. Today was their first day and again they loved it. It is my hope that if they get used to them I can start leaving the house with both kids by myself. Having a disability made it dangerous to go to a store or walk to the park b/c if one ran off I couldn't catch catch him/her. I don't think I'm going to dare with all 3 though for a while.

So our final cupcake brag would just be a cute video of them singing "White Christmas". Cally started and Rachel finally joined in :)

We have some cute neat stuff going on with Harmon too. Maybe that will be our next post!

The Battle Over a Crock Pot and other Black Friday purchases...

2011-11-28T22:23:00.001-08:00

Despite being insanely feverish I still did Black Friday on Friday morning, but I wasn't too dramatic. As always I did the "Francisca, I'm a lazy person Black Friday" which meant I woke up at my normal time, threw on some sweats and hit a couple of stores. The nice thing is that I live in a horridly small town and all the BF obsessed people have come and gone but the good stuff is still in stock. Since it is before 11 the Early Bird specials are still on as well. I miss the doorbusters but lets face it I wouldn't have a chance anyway. I worry if I tried to compete for doorbusters than I would end up on ABC News getting crushed by an angry lady with a handgun and pepper spray. This year being sick I just passed my shopping list to the sales people who asked me what I was looking for and I was in and out. Everyone was kind. It was pleasant.

Chris is on my case though for the "deals" I bought. He can handle the few extra toys I added to the pile at the last minute since we are purging old ones. He can't deal with why I would ever buy a blender (since I've not ever blended something in the 5 yrs we have been together), Belgium Waffle Iron, a new griddle (when I have an old slightly broken one, and a Crock Pot when I still have one. I explained I got them for 10 dollars (post rebate) and they are all super top of the line! He argued the same old tired excuse: BUT YOU DON'T COOK!!!!!!! Details, details... If he keeps it up with that attitude I'm never going to start!

So I was ready to return my $10 treasures but Miriam saw it and was like "no way" this is great stuff. She did justify that I do make waffles for the kids occasionally when I have mom guilt, and on the weekends we make pancakes for the griddle. We need the blender b/c you never when you might need to blend something, after all there is always a first for everything.

Than there is the Crock Pot. I actually do Crock beans... that is about it. But this one is new and shiny and programable. For a working mom I think that the odds of me ever putting something together for dinner on a consistent basis will one day require a nice Crock Pot and this will come in handy. If not for a working dad like Chris who will probably get frustrated my lack of cooking eventually a nice shiny Crock Pot like this will come in handy for him... RIGHT???

Than again you never know who will show up to help you cook!

I know this was a random add on to the post but I love Gordon Ramsey and I find this commercial hilarious!

The thankless truth...

2011-11-27T21:51:00.000-08:00

I've had an attitude of gratitude on my mind this whole past week. I think tonight I realized something though!

Harmon just traipsed into my room. He was crying b/c he couldn't find something, he won't go to sleep, Daddy is mean, etc. and so I let him sit next to me. Poor Chris has had it up to here with that boy. I know that look of total utter frustration. Being real sick and him having to hold down the fort this past week. Those kids are driving him batty.

I think he is going to be giddy going back to work tomorrow. When you work outside the home and you do a good job you normally feel good about it! You get positive feedback, have friends at work, earn money, etc. Being at home is difficult. Kids don't express appreciation like adults do. You love them though and you want to give them the world, but it is hard.

I don't think either of us knew what our parent's gave up and sacrificed for us until we became parents. Chris made me laugh b/c he texted his mom on Thanksgiving something to the effect of: "Mom now I understand how difficult it is to put together a whole Thanksgiving and than clean up afterwards... Sorry I didn't help more and thanks for everything!" I think about my mom who stayed at home for about 18 yrs just raising kids... I don't know how she did it! That chick must have had angels on her shoulders helping her.

So besides not appreciating my parents I also don't think I always appreciate my husband. Heaven knows he doesn't always appreciate me ;) Chris did so much this extended weekend to help me get better. Just slowing down and watching him in action made me glad for everything is his doing. We have had rough spots recently but we have really overcome a lot of it. I think if we can express our appreciation more it will make things all the better. So Chris, thank you for everything you gave the kids and me this weekend and always!

So I guess all this gratitude thinking has me realizing... I need to be letting people know more all the wonderful things people do for me. But moreover I need to let those closest people know that I appreciate them.

A quick note about me...

2011-11-27T21:23:00.000-08:00

If you follow this blog I'm sure if I mention "hey I'm sick again"... the response is going to be "WHAT???" Why is she always sick? I don't talk about it much on the blog or in real life. This condition but it doesn't define me. Nevertheless the challenges do affect my life.

I have RA and the only way to treat it is by suppressing the immune system. As it has progressed significantly this past two years the medications are more serious. With that comes new consequences. One of which is that my body is unable to fight off anything these days. If the kids get sick, I will likely get sick. This has almost landed me in the hospital at one point in the past year. I'm hoping if I continue to eat healthy, stay active, and keep a good attitude my body might be able to fight these things off better. Currently I have a serious chest infection and what looks to be endometriosis. It isn't fun, but it will pass; these things always do. In the mean time I'm trying to focus on all of the positive I've got going on and not worrying about that which I can't change.

Thanksgiving Thanks!

2011-11-24T17:08:00.001-08:00

My husband asked if I had a nice Thanksgiving... The answer was a resounding yes. It was just so peaceful. I don't remember a holiday lacking any sort of contention or worry. I'm sick again... what else is new. Knowing this, and knowing I'm just not the big meal cooking type Chris took over EVERYTHING. He did the most amazing job cooking it all: stuffing, sweet potato pie, full turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. I was amazed. He did such a great job. I think he should take over every year :)

My parents came. It was lovely to see them. I would lie if I didn't admit that it is hard for Chris and I not to see our extended family (and I know they missed us) but it is worth it not to feel so torn trying to please everyone.

Afterward we took the kids to go see the Smurfs at the dollar theatre. Thank Heaven's there were no other people in the movie b/c those kids acted like wild turkeys. I don't think we will be doing the regular movies anytime soon again. Nevertheless everything was so nice. I've got a lot to be grateful for!

So many people to be thankful for!

2011-11-23T21:53:00.000-08:00

Today was just a really hard day for me. I overdid it last night and than I had invited fellow mom friends who were not traveling today to come over and make Advent Calendars. I also had a transition meeting with Rachel's Service Coordinator Jorge who comes over weekly to work with her on developmental milestones.

So rather than feeling just overwhelmed on a day off I just had a good time. Nothing was ready when my mom friends came over. We all had a great time though and no one minded. our nanny Miriam and I have grown to love these ladies. Than I went and grabbed pizza, this way Miriam and Jorge could just chill while we all discussed Rachel's transition in August.

Chris got home a little after one so we let Miriam off early (she doesn't do holidays but she loves paid time off like all of us). I realized that even though I was tired I had my beautiful babies, a sweet husband, and just so many wonderful people surrounding us. When Rachel and Callum do transition I'm going to miss all our early intervention friends that we have made. I love our mom friends!!! I hope we remain close for years to come :) Than there is Miriam. She is like a sister to me. I'm so grateful everyday she has stayed with our family for so long. The love she gives my children is beyond diamonds and I've grown to just love her. When she does move on (b/c she is too overqualified for us) it will break my heart. She is just the best! I know it will be a lifelong friendship though when it is time ::heart::

So this Thanksgiving I'm going to be counting my blessings; but today I got an early start just by looking around and seeing the amazing beautiful people who filled our home this morning.

Dressing Up and Speaking Up...

2011-11-22T22:27:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows Chris and I knows we love jeans, t-shirts, and chilling at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant! To us that is romance. Tonight though we ended up at a formal dinner where the Governor was again the keynote speaker. I was very proud of Chris. He is gets shy talking to people at these sorts of things but he talked to everyone and we had a really good time.

I also got out of my own comfort zone tonight. Last time we did this I did meet the Governor but I never really spoke with her. Tonight when it was over there were not many people left so I went and said hi. I thanked her for her support of small business and we talked about growing up in El Paso. Where I am proud of myself though is that I also mentioned what was going on with our school district exiting special ed kids en masse. We talked Harmon and Rachel a little and she shared with me some of her experiences. She told me that some of the things the school had been telling me about funding were not really true and that her office will be looking into why so many students are being exited so quickly. I doubt anything will come of this but if just by chance something good does come of it that would be neat.

With all of that though I guess when it comes down to it I just loved being with my husband. It was fun and romantic. We need to hang out with adults more often!

PS: Thanks to all the ladies who helped dress me. You know who you are ;)

The latest in RIDICULOUS Barbie dolls!

2011-11-21T21:47:00.000-08:00

I needed to go to Kohls looking for new shoes and so we took the kids to play in the toy section. This is where I saw the following ridiculousness:

Yes, in Barbieville, the cops wear micro-mini skirts! My inner-feminist just cries when I see things like this :(

Turkey War Resolutions and New Traditions...

2011-11-20T21:43:00.000-08:00

Well the other day I wrote about being frustrated with Thanksgiving. I just feel that we are getting sort of stuck between Chris' and my families history of traditions. It has been hard for us creating our own family traditions. At church it sort of hit Chris though that it was important to start creating those traditions.

So that means no AZ for a Cakes family reunion and no El Paso even for a homestyle Abuelita Thanksgiving (Heaven help me I still haven't told my mom). It is hard on both our sides. We don't want to hurt our respective families. Still if we don't set boundaries now we will be holiday ping pong fodder for generations to come. Holidays will be in our home, this year and the rest of the years... until one day our married kids tell us "mom, we do Thanksgiving at our house."

The plan is simple. I'll make Bobby Flay's turkey, Paula Deen's stuffing (I gotta incorporate some of those Southern faves of Chris' into the meal), his mom's green bean casserole (the one on the French's cans), and my mom's sweet potato pie recipe. It will be a touch of old in a new family. Anyone and everyone will always be invited :) Afterward in honor of one of Chris' beloved traditions we will take the critters to the movies. After all if we eat at noon we have to do something to entertain ourselves. This of course means I probably won't do Black Friday b/c my health has been shaky but I'm giving up something good for something better!

Good, Better, Best: Choosing the Better Part!

2011-11-19T21:35:00.001-08:00

Today Chris and I took some time away from the kids and discussed some important things. Bonus and pay raises are around the corner and so this is just the best time to make a plan for the next year. That meant looking at next years budget, traveling in the next year, work, the transition from Miriam to pre-school that will be occurring next fall, and if I would keep taking classes to bring me closer to my personal goal of furthering my education. We also discussed my needing surgery possibly during the holidays.

I think I wanted to just CRY!!!! It is overwhelming thinking about all the different things going on. I think that is when I remembered a talk I once read.

The speaker said the following: "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best... We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives... There is no easy formula for that contest of priorities. However, I have never known of a man who looked back on his working life and said, “I just didn’t spend enough time with my job.” (Source)

It is pretty obvious what the best thing we have in our life is: our marriage and our children. So the trick is for Chris and I will always be is to balance the other needs and goals so they reflect those values. I'm still overwhelmed but remembering this basic truth is very comforting.

Ho Hum on Santa!

2011-11-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

If you are my mom, please don't read this post!!!!!

If since I could remember I never believed that Santa was for sure real. I always had serious doubts from day one. I would find the gifts my parents had hidden and see them marked for Santa. I would see Walmart tags on gifts that Elves supposedly had made. My older siblings would let it slip that it was sort of a myth. I think as a small child I figured he existed somewhere but never visited my home. I believed in the spirit (and I still do in a strange way) but I never looked at him as some physical real being. It was peaceful for me knowing. I never had false expectations.

Well now if you ask anyone I'm EVIL! I'm a grinch!!! Who doesn't believe in Santa? You see this is the year I'm supposed to start teaching the kids about Santa. But I don't know if I want to perpetuate the idea of him visiting our home and tagging gifts. I would rather teach that Santa is more like The Little Mermaid. He is out there somewhere doing good and we need to help him by helping others

Chris thinks I'm horrible (even though as a child he thought Santa HATED him b/c Santa got his rich friends better gifts than he ever got). Robbing them of childhood innocence. I suppose if he really is persistent on it I will cave and let the kids bake cookies and threaten them when they are bad that Santa is watching. I'm hoping though he will back down a little, but if he doesn't I will relent. The spirit of Christmas shouldn't be contention after all.

I just think it is funny that one can feel this way and everyone think I'm crazy. Maybe I am. After all this is what happens when you are the youngest of a blended family and your earliest Christmas memories were of watching Gremlins!!!! (I'm still scared of those things... I think it is really the only thing that can still creep me out but I was like 4 when I saw it for the first time).

The GREAT Turkey War!

2011-11-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

I've had to fight really hard to convince my family and Chris that holidays for children should be in their home. This is something I grew up with and I feel it is important. We always had the most special events in our home growing up. This included opening gifts on Christmas morning and Thanksgiving dinner.

Unfortunately if you ask the grandparents (Chris' side) or the Abuelitos (my side) those traditions should be done in their home or worse we should have to drive cross country with Great-Grandparents. So for the last 5 years of our marriage we have been playing tug of war and compromising. The final compromise was that we celebrate the main parts in our home and than (assuming they are in town) we will take a little time and visit each of the families. In the mean time if either side wants to attend the main event in our home they are welcome to attend.

So what is the problem? Well even though Chris and I agree the families still want it their way. Chris' family is traveling to Phoenix (even though they all live here to go have a reunion) and so there is the pressure there (and it is a full court press). Than there is the fact that Chris really loves my mom's food. For an Abuelita born in Puerto Rico the chick can cook a bird and do the good old fashioned southern fixings. Chris goes crazy for it!!!! So now there is pressure for me not to even really cook and just go over there to eat. After all... I've been having some complications with my condition and he doesn't want me to overdo it (like I'm buying that one).

Alas this is a pain in the neck. I can either insist on cooking for Thanksgiving (you would think my spouse would be excited with the idea of his wife actually cooking) and force everyone in my family (including my siblings and parents) to endure two full meals on Thanksgiving. Or cave and do Tamales or turkey sandwiches. Chris promises it is only for this year because he really is worried about my health. Nevertheless I worry that all these years of me fighting for Holiday respect is out the window b/c my mom is the Latina Paula Deen. I'll probably give in but heck no is she beating me out on Christmas!!!!

That bratty little sister!

2011-11-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

So I took a blog vacation! It had to be done. In one week I've been sick (got a chest cold), fighting the school district to keep Harm's services, and dealing 9,000 other things for work and school!

So I didn't know what to write about until I was thinking about my baby girl. She is a lot like me! The boys are just the best of friends. They each have their own trains and they love playing together. I think Rach gets jealous b/c she goes in there and steals a handful of trains and runs away. Not b/c she likes trains (she doesn't) but rather to get their goat. She also does other things like hide their loveys and do other things to get their goat.

I don't blame her. I think she feels left out honestly but for peace sake she can't do it and not face consequences. Times like this I wish she could have a little sister, but that means I would have to have another child... that just ain't worth! So instead I'm just going to hang in there and try give her extra love so maybe she won't torture her brothers so much.

Monkey's Blood, Fortune Telling, and the other weird things my parents did to me!

2011-11-07T17:42:00.000-08:00

Today I was reading poetry and came across a great one. It is called, "Puerto Rican Obituary" by Pedro Pietri. It made me think of culture and upbringing. No matter where I go I get teased a lot but I also get a lot of inquiries about how a "normal person" like me can believe in such things as ghosts or have been a fortune teller. I don't know what to say. It is how I was raised. Chris teases me mercilessly that I was definitely not raised like a normal person! It is true I wasn't. This is why I started laughing when I read this poem for the following lines.

Is time

to visit sister lopez again

the number one healer

and fortune card dealer

in Spanish Harlem

She can communicate

with your late relatives

for a reasonable fee

Good news is guaranteed

That is how I was raised. It was so different. We were taught ghosts, angels, and aliens were totally normal. I was taken to psychic fairs on the weekend growing up and taught to read cards and stuff... don't all kids?

When my friends would cut themselves their mother's put Neosporin on their wounds. My mother though still spits at that stuff claiming it is a conspiracy to cause infection and make you go to the hospital. We had to have Mecuro (it is called Monkeys Blood and died our skin red for weeks) and we were not allowed bandaids b/c they cause infection too.

When we got sick we were not taken to the doctor or given medicine right away. Instead my mother would go find a tea for that. Sometimes she grew the herbs in the front yard but our pet ducks would eat it (another interesting thing was living in the city and having rabbits, ducks and chickens as pets). I still to this day can't go near an herbal tea! They were nasty. What was wrong with Pepto Bismal.

Other funny things were: I was never allowed to cut my hair. My mom's family and our family speak so loudly (and it is often interspersed with curse words, something I'm trying hard to drop for my own kids sake); we are not mad at each other but rather just very animated. We say what is on our mind. I would get dumped and my mom would say "get over it, he was a loser, now go do you homework).

My family!

It isn't all bad though. This is why we love big parties and we love food! I was raised where "family is family, and you will have each other" so even now my siblings and I fiercely protect each other. We also laugh and laugh. That was part of why Chris fell in love with me. There is a feeling of welcoming everyone and serving. It makes me want to always be helping others now as an adult. Honesty was always a cornerstone in my home growing up. My parents made it clear money doesn't matter as much as being a good person matters!

Sometimes I wonder how my culture will melt with Chris' (which is a more "All American" style). I think we will skip the psychic fairs and card readings but definitely keep the huge parties! I wonder if my kids will one day be writing blogs about the horrid things their mom did. I think that is a given. I wonder what they will take as adults. I guess I just hope they will have a strong faith in God, a heart filled with love, and still love to laugh. They also better still love the Texas Longhorns ;)

Time changes are NOT FUN!

2011-11-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

I hate you Benjamin Franklin!

I used to love Fall Back when I was a little. It meant we could actually make McDonald's breakfast for once when I was little. In college it meant an extra hour of sleep. After college it meant I could stay out later the night before and still make it to church. Alas those days are over!

Now I have kids and Daylight's Saving Time doesn't work! The kids didn't get the memo. So Chris kept them up late last night. They still woke up when they usually do, so the whole day they have been cranky monsters. On Facebook some of my friends bragged about their kids doing great... THAT WAS NOT MY FAMILY. Ugh, I wish we lived in Russia, they don't have DST over there!!!

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2011-11-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

I'm a horrible person. Today I was shopping with the kids and Chris. I was in a crummy mood (still catching up on work after too much Halloween and very moody little kids). Anyhow as I started sifting through the Halloween Clearance section the store was blasting Christmas Carols. Suddenly I stopped being sullen and started humming. Cally our resident musician quickly got into it as well. Chris and I are dancing in the aisles.

Christopher is horrified. He thinks I am disrespecting the bird. I'm not, but the bird ain't anything compared to my good friends Rudolph and Frosty. So we are at odds. Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday (he loves to eat). So I guess I will have to wait till Black Friday to put up the decorations...

But I'm excited! See my side ticker!!!! Also Callum is excited too. He threw this cd into the cart and Daddy didn't catch... perhaps I will have to put the carols on early.

Halloweenitis...

2011-11-01T22:01:00.000-07:00

Our family is suffering from a serious condition: TOO MUCH HALLOWEEN! We came, we saw, and we trick or treated!

Rachel got sick from all the candy at one of our 3 scheduled parties on Friday. Cally almost got eaten by a lion. Both Chris and I are horribly behind on work. Harmon though was the saddest tale. Last night we did our Tricks or Treats and one guy had a scary garage and scared him. He was so scared last night he wouldn't go to bed and after he finally did he couldn't sleep. He woke up about 4 times and kept sneaking into our bed. When Daddy would go to move him back to his room he would say, "Leave me alone Daddy, I'm not doing anything!" I felt so bad for him. We will be more careful where we go next year.

So does this mean we are scaling back? Nah! It was a great year. I've learned to control the candy consumption and will be more careful where we trick or treat. Otherwise I wouldn't change a thing. We had 2 great parties, celebrated with so many great friends, had some special moments with our kids at the various activities, and just had a great time.

The only thing that I still wonder though is: who took our Halloween candy??? We never had a trick or treater I noticed the full bucket when we got home at 9:30 (it is a gated community) but this morning when Miriam got to work the bucket we had left outside was mysteriously empty... I'm glad! They took all our crummy candy we had amassed that past few months from pinatas and other special events. Now we can sit back and enjoy the kids good chocolate!!!!

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T08:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween from a Lion, a Strawberry, and Thomas the Train!

MUST SEE: Cally got eaten by a lion... ALMOST!!!

2011-10-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

Read first and than look at the pictures!

I love animals and I love the zoo but I must confess, sometimes it gets a little old since we go every 4 months or so. Anyhow today was BOO at the Zoo and so I was excited to let the little ones go in their costumes and trick or treat at the zoo. It was ton of fun and right when it was time to leave I just had to see the lion exhibit and get a cool picture of Cally and the Lions b/c he was wearing his his costume.

So they are just lounging on the rocks and I was thinking this isn't going to be a great photo until a female lion spotted Cally from the back and the following happened as I was trying to get a shot (I didn't even realize until after).

The last picture before she completely pounced the glass was the second to last one. I was screaming b/c in all the years I've gone to the zoo this has never happened. Chris grabbed Callum, and thought this was the coolest thing ever! A whole crowd had gathered behind us. The last picture was the little female lion just searching for Callum a few minutes later. Needless to say this was the craziest zoo trip we have ever had!

The tenacious miracle of life...

2011-10-28T22:34:00.000-07:00

I think it is interesting. It has been 2 full years since the cupcakes came home (they came home the 2nd weekend in October after a 6 wk NICU stay). I don't think much about these things anymore.

I haven't forgotten but as time keeps going on those memories are pushed further away and in their place are replaced with better memories. Memories like today with Cally in his little lion costume and long hair coming out of it with big chubby cheeks smiling.

Today a lady in our mom's community gave birth to a precious little girl much earlier than I did (she had her girl at 25 wks while my twins were born at 32 wks). It sort of humbled me and brought everything back. I know after what we all went through that God helps miracles happen. I should have miscarried at 23 wks but with modern miracles of medicine and a lot of prayer we were able to hold out 9 more weeks in that hospital.

Tonight I'm praying little baby Layla and reflecting on just how blessed I am to have 3 beautiful healthy kids!!!

New beginnings for true love!

2011-10-27T21:31:00.000-07:00

Today is our 5th year wedding anniversary, (yes I love Halloween that much that I got married during the season). In five years we have lived in 5 homes, 2 cities, had 3 kids, both changed careers, help start a company, and acquired 2 lovely pets.

If you are wondering, yup, we are tired! Honestly if I were to say in this post any of this has been easy I would be lying. It has been a hard journey and at times I didn't know if we would make it this far. Chris and I are both very stubborn and quite each other's opposite. With that said we both of love each other so much. Recently we have been working on making this marriage better: changing bad habits, appreciating each other more, and putting one another first. If we are not strong together we won't be a strong family.

Tonight I type very much in love. I'm a little scared to see what will happen in the next five years, considering these past 5 years; but I know if we are united whatever happens we can make it through it!

A one of a kind princess!

2011-10-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

Today Rachel brought me a princess book to read to her. I was sure, why not. So I'm reading it and the narrator is telling us what a princess should be. One page shows Snow White kissing a drawf and so Rachel proceeds to than give the drawfs kisses too. Next page shows Belle helping fix Beast's owie, and so Rachel kisses that page too b/c you always have to kiss an owie. A few pages later the narrator says "A princess stands up to what is right" and it shows Jasmine standing up to Jafar. Rachel starts yelling at the book: BE NICE JAFAR!!! BE NICE!!!

Rachel is very unique! She seems aloof when you meet her but once she warms up to you, she is a friend for life. I love how cute she is with her little dolls. She gives them kisses and wraps them in blankets. She is also very mischevious though. Every morning now she sneaks out of bed early before daddy leaves for work so she can have special time with Chris. Chris loves it, except for the part that he has been late for work every day for 2 wks. She has to be the center of attention and loves being the princess. If she doesn't get what she wants than world WATCH OUT!!!

This picture I love b/c she has something that reminds me of me when I was a child. In general though she looks like a spitting image of my mother-in-law who happens to be very beautiful. Chris find this troubling. Not only b/c she will always have guys chasing after her but b/c with her cuteness she will get whatever she wants in life!

The USDA's Child Cost Calculator :p

2011-10-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

Today was like day 4 of me not doing my best so I was stuck at home. On a mom's board someone posted this website: USDA Child Cost Calculator.

Well this is our official estimate: Our Report.

It really is dependent on the cost of living and we live in a relatively low COLA. Still if my Rachel knew I was supposed to $842 she would be really mad at me. On the other hand we have craptacular medical so we spend a lot more on that. It didn't peg us on the money but it definetly was intersting though!

Halloween, Christmas, and Easter all at once!!!!

2011-10-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

If you have wondered why I've not talked about Halloween too much this year, it isn't b/c I've been kidnapped by aliens! We have just been really busy!

A couple weeks ago we had over 75 people over at our house for Halloween Kick Off party. It was great fun. We had neighbors, friends, church friends, etc. My favorite was seeing everyone have such a great time. This party was so busy that we forgot to take pictures until clean up time (but some friends gave us some busy shots)! Next year I'll share more. I actually cooked though! Pictured below is my Spinach Artichoke pie.

So we also have attended not one but 2 different corn mazes/pumpkin patches!

The first was with my friend Michelle and her son Tres. We had such a great time but the twins got so tired so quickly that we never did a lot. So Chris and I brought Harmon back later that night along with my brother. We got there at dusk and it was pitch black by the time we did the maze. Thank Heaven's for IPhones, b/c otherwise we might have had to spend the night down there.

Today was extra corn maze fun. Miriam our nanny went (but it was NOT considered a Halloween b/c she doesn't do Holidays so rather it is about the fall season) and so did our Family Services Coordinator. We went for a twin event and it was so much fun :)

So the fun isn't done. Assuming I'm back to feeling better (I've been pretty sick but I just keep pushing myself b/c Halloween only comes once a year and I'll always have health challenges), tomorrow we have Spooktacular. The next week we have Trunk or Treat, Boo at the Zoo, and 2 Halloween parties. On Halloween we have Tricks or Treats and a final Halloween party.

It is great wonderful month for us. Miriam says we celebrate Halloween like most people celebrate Christmas. Chris disagrees, he thinks we celebrate Halloween like most people celebrate Halloween, Christmas and Easter is all in one month :p I think he is right but it is the best time of the year! I think that is why my spouse loves Thanksgiving so much! He can just rest and eat :)

Clearing out the Clutter of Life!!

2011-10-19T21:52:00.000-07:00

My mother has been and always will be a huge special part of my life. I love her to death but the women has a secret! She is an amateur hoarder. If you ask her she would deny it!!! But man if we try to throw out anything she gets mad at us. Everything has a purpose, including an old typewriter from 1989 which hasn't had a cartridge made for it since 2001. Some of the areas of the house make it hard to walk in.

This is why my siblings and I all have a varying need to rebel against clutter. Honestly I think I was the worse of us to not let anything go but than in college I sort of picked up a gypsy lifestyle. I moved every 6 - 12 mos for the next 9 years of my life. The longest I've been in one place since high school was my last house (which was only 21 mos) we will see if I last longer in this one.

Anyhow the constant moving has been liberating. It taught me YES YOU CAN THROW THINGS AWAY OR GIVE THEM AWAY without melting like the Wicked Witch of the West. When you move you hate stuff you don't need and while you are packing it is quick to identify the things that haven't been used in a while. It took a while to beat the hoarder out of me but when it happened it felt really good!

So these last few weeks I've been getting anxious. It is definitely that time again to throw and give away a lot of things. I've settled back into my pre-breeding figure and Heaven knows I don't need any of the maternity clothing that still lurks in my closet (oh, elastic jeans I will miss you). My office is just filled with so much stuff I can't find a thing, much less use the thing, and the kids are all changing sizes.

Clearing the clutter is really liberating... if only it wasn't too time consuming.

Insane Kitteh and Mommy Lolz!!!

2011-10-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

Being a mom causes something called "mom brain" and than add in everything else I have going on... well I just don't know if it has a label but it is definitely the realm of insanity!

Today I kissed the kids goodbye to go and turned the radio on the car. I anxiously searched for my car keys. I go inside and ask our nanny if she saw them. Nope! Than I go back to the car and look in my purse again. Totally frustrated I get ready to chew Chris out b/c I'm sure he has accidentally taken my keys. Right as I was dialing I realized the car's music was too loud. As I turned down the volume it hit me, I must have put the key in the ignition b/c you have to have started the car b/c you need keys in the car to turn on the radio!

Later today I was walking around frantically looking for my phone. I got frustrated so I went to call Miriam. As I was dialing the phone I realized, oh I had my phone in my pocket the whole time.

So yes it true... I'm going down the path to insanity!

Cally's big milestone!

2011-10-16T22:58:00.001-07:00

This weekend I was talking to another mom friend of a newly minted two year old. We were at the corn maze and she had to put her son in time out. We laughed. It is sort of the rite of passage for any good mother to do this. Rachel and Harmon have had quite a few in their day. Callum on the other hand is pretty mellow. If I tell him no he just stops but on Friday Callum earned his "2 yo" label and had to be given his first time out. I was getting dressed and he saw Rachel playing with something so he pushed her on the ground. I laughed when I realized on Saturday that this had been Callum's first time out (and he took it with grace and remorse). I'm sure it won't be the last but hopefully he won't feel he needs to catch up for lost time!!!!!

Babies' first hair cut!!!!!!!!

2011-10-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

Before

Rachel's hair is the cutest thing ever but lately it has been a frustrating fuzz ball. It just got too long and we couldn't do anything with it unless we started putting mousse and that is just not good for a busy tot. Bows and clips she tears out and with such fine hair they don't stay in well. So, we did the unthinkable: we got her a haircut!!!!

In Puerto Rican culture it is heracy to cut your daughter's hair. My mother did not let me cut my hair till I was in 8th grade (and she cried the whole time). Anyhow Rachel is so active and this keeps her from keeping from getting tangled and having to get her hair brushed over and over again.

After

She loves it and so do I! Daddy even likes it (although he hates it costs money). The only problem is going to be when her Abuelita sees her and maybe kills me!

Now if you thought this post was going to be about Cally, keep waiting!!!! He loves his long locks and I have no problem keeping it nice. It will be a while before I let his cute curls go anywhere ;)

Dates with my babies!

2011-10-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

So I feel like the "Little old lady who lived in a shoe" sometimes. When I just had Harmon it was easy to really find that quality time with him. Now that there are three of them though, everyone is always competing for attention and it feels like there is not enough of me to go around at times. So the solution I'm finding is to take each one for special one on one time. Last week I took Rachel to the Halloween store, Harmon to Walgreens, and Miriam and I ate lunch with Callum at Sam's Club (Rachel crashed at the end).

Each of the kids just really eat up this one on one time. They need it. They chatter a lot, especially Harmon. Rachel loves to run me around ragged and Cally likes to spend the time giggling. They are always just really happy to have a few moments and be the only one in my universe. It means a lot to them and me too. I learn something about each child on these dates. I fall in love with them a little more. Each is a wonderful date!

Legally Brunette...

2011-10-10T21:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I was up late looking for my lost cat. I was worried. Bob is pretty much my furry BFF. He was in my linen closet the whole time. Anyhow I had the TV on and I started watching Legally Blonde.

This is a movie my sister and I both just love. I guess it is because for her it meant just because you are blonde and beautiful doesn't mean you are not as smart. For me I think it is b/c people meet me and they I'm a total ditz. I always get comments in real life about how surprised people are that I'm so smart b/c I don't seem that way (I try to be gracious take that as a compliment).

Anyhow so I'm watching this movie for the 500th time and I see this old MacBook that she is buying in a bunny costume and it made me laugh. After all I get teased all the time when I yank out my IPad w/a Hello Kitty cover on it and I have 500 costumes in my closet. It just reminded in life it is okay to be quirky... it doesn't mean you are dumb!

It's official!!!!!!! No more cribs :(

2011-10-09T21:06:00.000-07:00

Friday Miriam came to the house and shared with me her concerns over the twins being able to climb out of the cribs. She was right, one false move and they could easily fall on their neck or heads. So we decided to get new beds for EVERYONE.

Old guest room

Rachel's room that was being used as a guest room was ripped apart and child proofed. Gone was the big bed and replaced was this small flower one (it was Princess one but I thought that looked a little cheesy so I moved a couple wall decals instead).

Next we moved the guest room bed into Harm's room and put his new bedding together. Miriam picked out the paint and turtle theme for the room so this was very special for her. The room was originally designed for Cally but we changed the plan when Harmon got too overwhelmed in the big room. I love this room, it is so cute and Harmon is so proud of his new big boy bed!

Finally we took apart both cribs and moved Harm's old bed into Cally's room (which was their nursery). It was the end of an era!

Callum loves his room. He is proud of himself! Harmon loves his new bed a lot also. The only one who struggled was little Rachel. I think being in a new room with out her twin scared her a little. But now she is sleeping well. I guess that just leaves mom, and honestly I think I like it too. I just need to get used to the fact that the cribs are gone, but we have new beds and new memories to make!

I wished my monkeys only jumped on the bed!

2011-10-05T21:57:00.001-07:00

Miriam is always just so calm and collected as our nanny! Seriously nothing shakes her. Well when I got home she was shaken. For parents the saddest day is when our children can leave a crib on their own. Today our nanny felt that utter sadness!

It was so funny I come home and she is finishing up their stories. After a few cuddles and kisses we put them to nap and I went to my office while she went and got Harmon. They come out of their rooms and I put them back to bed and sit on the couch on guard if they come out again. I fall asleep on the couch...

So Miriam comes back and freaks out. "Do you know what they are doing in there?" Yup my twins were having a frat party in there. Taking turns it took an hour and a half to get them to sleep.

Than Harmon was in such a mood. He wouldn't listen to Miriam or me at all. So we took him to his room for a time out. In that process we locked ourselves into the room! NO JOKE! We had turned the door knobs around b/c he used to lock us out so now the lock is on the outside. We tried looking for something thin to push the lock out but nothing worked. We both always had cell phones on us but neither of us had one so I couldn't call a neighbor even. So we had no choice, poor Miriam climbed out his window b/c we were 100% stuck (all while I was playing "peek-a-boo" b/c we don't want him to learn that he can easily unlock and escape from his window).

It was time for her to leave (she goes home early on some days b/c I work late on others) but we both plopped onto the couch and watched the end of last weeks Project Runway that I had TiVO'd. We need the break! I'm grateful to be able to share these moments with someone as special as Miriam. I would have ripped out my hair had I not had her in the trenches with me.

Later a friend came by and we made some cupcakes. Than Cally woke up. It was so funny. I wasn't ready for him to be up and I had so much work that never got done! I give him the spoon from the batter and he was just so cute. I guess I won't send my monkeys away but I really wish they would just go back to jumping on the bed.

Getting hacked and other fun adventures at midnight!

2011-10-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

So as of tonight I became a Viagra salesman... Yeah, not what I needed to find out about at 11 pm at night when I'm sitting down to relax for the first time. My oldest email account. That one I had before I became the Missus got hacked. It took a few hours but I think I have it fixed. To be safe though I will start moving away from it.

It is so frustrating! Things at home have been really hard lately. Than last week I got really sick and fell behind on everything. I than had to travel for the company this weekend away from my critters. Yesterday and today I've had to re-earn trust with the babies for leaving and catch up on EVERYTHING I missed last week being sick. That is where the old saying comes: when it rains it pours! Perhaps all of this is leading me to a better place...

So if you received a SPAM letter from my Yahoo account I'm sorry! I'm not trying to sell you Viagra! I only sell Cialis... JUST KIDDING ;)

Chris vs the IPad!!!

2011-09-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

This is Chris (w/a vintage shot of Rachel). Chris prides himself for his intuitive sense of direction and gut manly instinct to get us anywhere on the planet.

This is the IPad maps app that if you just type in a name (like for exmp Chipotle) or an address it will tell you EXACTLY how to get to a place.

So who wins this death match? Well Chris thinks he is. He drove us through a parking lot into a dead end with a pond tonight while looking for our hotel. In his defense though a few minutes later he did find it. We also ended up in a few wrong townships. But I guess if something were to happen to all my GPS devices we would EVENTUALLY get to where we needed to go ;)

I find a lot of humor in this. Perhaps because it is past midnight and I hate sleeping in odd places. But I think the main reason I find it so funny is that if I don't use GPS I can't find anything. I think it is funny how guys think vs women. I guess in this death match this is what you would call the differences between cats and dogs!

Mommy Misses You!

2011-09-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

I love traveling and I love working. I miss doing more of it but when I was single it wasn't a big deal. I only had to go find a cat sitter and everything was find. I could just pick up and go.

So the cheesy video isn't for the normal blog readers (if it were I wouldn't have done it with out make or hair done :p). This video is for my Mother and the wonderful Miriam to show the babies when they miss us. I feel bad I won't be there to when they wake up to say good bye!

The elephant in the parking lot (SERIOUSLY)...

2011-09-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

Today I wasn't feeling very well and Miriam our nanny wasn't going to let me do anything until I finally agreed to see a doctor. So I saw a doctor at the University and the critters all came (sinus infection and a developing ear infection so I'm on antibiotics again).

Anyhow on our way back in the corner of my eye I saw two elephants in the student parking lot... I'm thinking wow, I must be really ill. Than Miriam exclaims "Look kids there are elephants in the parking lot!!!" So the kids got to go on an impromptu safari. We drove right up to them (but there was no way we were getting out of that car b/c there was nothing between us and the elephants besides a really crummy makeshift gate and string).

It amazed me when we were leaving that during the 20 minutes we were there no one else on campus noticed enough to stop. Makes me wonder what else we miss in life b/c we are too distracted!

Harmon's "creepy" invisible friend...

2011-09-25T21:45:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite movies is Harvey w/Jimmy Stewart. Basically he was this guy whose best friend was an imaginary friend who was a giant bunny. You never saw the bunny but you really could picture it.

Anyhow I wish Harm's invisible friend was a bunny. Harmon's is a crazy man. This started a few months ago before we moved. He woke up upset. I asked him why and he said this crazy man was trying to come through his bedroom window and scaring him. The old house was in an undeveloped sub-division and there were no crazy men coming through windows so I chucked it off to the boogey-man or monster under the bed.

So yesterday he wouldn't nap. I just let him stay in his room and have some quiet time. Well I overhear him having this very intense conversation. I go in there and ask him who he is talking to. He explains that the crazy man is there and they are talking. I later that night asked him if this was the man in the window and he said yes, it is his friend.

So my son has an invisible friend who is a crazy old man... Jimmy do you have your old bunny laying around anywhere???? If so please send him to our home.

Night of the living dead at work and home!

2011-09-20T22:17:00.001-07:00

I think Cosmopolitan Magazine had an article years ago on Sleep-Bulemia. It described women who didn't get enough sleep so they drank mass amounts of caffeine throughout the day and than can't sleep at night (some would take pills). That describes I think a lot of women these days.

Today I realized I was that women as well! The revelation happened today in two parts. One I was driving and totally missed my exit and was heading towards Deming. When I finally got to my destination I was walking with my ToGo cup from a local restaurant and a stranger commented "you look like you have had one too many". That was my WOW today! I'm the walking dead (and I look like it)!

I've got kids, husband, work, etc. keeping me up late (and stressing me) so during the day I'm a Zombie. I'm just grabbing sodas all day long. One of my friends and I were joking. She tells me I just need to pick up coffee so I wake up enough to hide my exhaustion. It is pretty serious. I wonder if I would have hit that car door a few weeks ago if I had been sharper. Honestly, I just need to change up my routine and take more time for myself.

I am a total sucker!!!!!!

2011-09-18T21:16:00.001-07:00

We took the kids to the mountains on Friday (came home early yesterday afternoon).

I said I wouldn't buy the kids any more toys just because. Our home looks like a Toys R Us as it is. Anyhow we went to the Three Bears Cupcake Hut and Toy store while in Ruidosa NM (great place if you are in the area). After stocking up on baked goods my eyes beheld an Elmo the size of Callum. He had yellow marks on the back of his eyes so I asked for a discount. The owner (who has seen us come and go for years) gave it to us and so I happily bought the giant Elmo for Cally Cally. Cally's eyes got so wide with excitement. He has a new best friend... (Now if he ever finds out Elmo has his own show he might kill me).

The funniest part of the tale has been Harmon. He earns toys through his chores and so he isn't exactly deprived. Nonetheless he has wanted Elmo so badly. He woke up and said he wanted to give Cally back his (spare) baby Elmo. At first I was like what chivalry! NOPE, it was so he could steal the big Elmo. So when Cally wasn't looking he stole the big Elmo and than proceeded to hide his contraband in his room under his bed. Don't worry we rescued Elmo and made Harmon apologize but I know it isn't that easy. He wants that Elmo! Needless to say this is turning into a great opportunity to teach Harmon that not everything you want is yours because you want it in life. Perhaps that is a good lesson for adults as well ;)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Mommy relaxation gone wrong

2011-09-15T22:27:00.001-07:00

After the kids had gone down I decided to spoil myself so I took a bath... I have never taken a bubble bath in my new tub. Well the jets obviously work a little better than they did in my last house :p

Than I started playing Scrabble. The computer beat me so I played it again. The computer beat me again so I played again. The computer beat me again so I played again. The computer beat me again so I played again... etc. So now it is 11:30 and I have a busy day tomorrow. I should have been sleeping... but I really wanted to be that computer. I never did. Talk about wasted time.

The nice thing is that I would have been leaving out of town with Chris first thing in the morning but it fell through. I'm so glad! I don't know what we will do instead but we will be with our critters instead of working and that makes me happy! We have got to do something fun :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Golden Rules of Sharing...

2011-09-12T22:22:00.001-07:00

Having 3 toddlers is a difficult plight. Even my lovely nanny is looking a little more worn these days. One of our biggest issues is sharing. It is always very difficult to teach this basic concept. You turn your back for one moment you suddenly have a mosh pit of 2 or more toddlers killing each other for a prized item.

It has made me realize we many "golden rules" in our family...

What's mine is mine, and what your's is mine! We see this often with cool toys. Callum got two Elmo dolls for his birthday so Harmon feels Callum MUST share. When Harmon has two Thomas mini-trains those are not to be shared. Harmon needs both.
You get what you get and don't throw a fit! One of Harm's teachers must have taught him this saying b/c he says it all the time. It is his favorite saying when he is sharing his trains. If Cally or Rachel protest b/c they got the worse trains he extols this virtuous message. Of course if I'm handing out colored paper and he wanted blue he than will state this rule only applies for the twins.
Might is always right: This is a particular favorite of the boys. Harmon uses his might on the twins and Callum uses his on Rachel... but don't feel bad for Rachel.
The Early bird catches the worm: Rachel always plots behind the boys back. As soon as she wakes up she makes a beeline straight to what she wants while all groggy she has everything she wants to play with before the tired boys get off the couch.
Brain before Brawn: This is another one that Rachel excells at. She often distracts the boys to get the toys she wants. It is always funny to see her throw things and make Cally interested while she goes after his Cars lunchbox. Harmon also uses this occasionally. If one of the twins are playing with a toy he wants he finds something real nice and entices them away from it.

So yes sharing is still quite a challenge but I think in a way the kids are really figuring it out well on their own. It doesn't prevent every mosh pit or whining fit but it is nice to see them work it out in their own way.

Remembering 9/11... (long and very detailed)

2011-09-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

I hate to admit this but these last few years this day has come and gone without much thought for me. There was something about this anniversary that made me really just STOP and remember what it felt like. Perhaps b/c for the first time in years those graphic images are back. Seeing the planes crash, listening to the firsthand witnesses retell the events, it all sort of came back to me. The lessons I promised I would never forget yet I feel I almost did. So tonight I want to detail those memories so my children might feel what I felt, and remember...

Quick note: the videos I have linked from YouTube are graphic. I used ones that were from the CNN news feed since the channel I watched all this happen. It is what I saw on the news that day...

On a 9/11/01 I had woken up early. I was sophomore at UT Austin. I was struggling in Math and my professor promised to give me a one on one tutoring. I woke up early b/c I had been dreading this and wanted to spoil myself a little and go to the Red McCombs Building where in the atrium they have Burger King. I remember riding the shuttle and the bus driver saying "can you believe some idiot just flew into the World Trade Center?" "Really, hope it wasn't some terrorist." She responded, nope probably some prop plane tourist company. I'm from there and we always thought it was a matter of time..."

I don't know why terrorism came to mind first. Perhaps because the bombing of the USS Cole had just happened or I don't know... Anyhow those fear were put to rest and I got out of the tram and excitedly went to my sausage biscuit with no cheese and an orange juice. I picked up my spoils. It was before 9 and so the business school was still deserted. I sat down in front of the large tv and started watching the CNN feed live. No one knew what had really happened. The speculation varied widely but no one had an idea.

Than it happened... just as I was eating the second plane hit.

I didn't believe it. I don't think the broadcaster believed it. Than they played this angle a minute or so later.

That is when I understood this was really bad. A lot of people were dying right now. I sat there just watching watching all that paper flying... the large debris falling... people jumping to their deaths... people waving items from the windows waiting for rescue... I wondered what it would be like to be there and I just sat there watching.

I don't know when it happened but I looked around and I went from being alone in a table in an atrium of maybe 20 people and than being surrounded by probably 100 or more staff and students. I didn't move from my seat... the empty table I was sitting was now full with strangers... my uneaten breakfast just laid there.

Than we heard, Washington is under attack... the Pentagon has been hit. Suddenly I remembered that silly Will Smith movie "Independence Day" and I felt like I was watching it. Where everything was just under attack. I couldn't believe it. Who was this? How did do all this?

Than this happened...

It collapsed... the building just disappeared. No one knew if there was another bomb or plane or what... the building was just gone.

I sat there just still in silence. This time though I started thinking again about the people affected. I kept sitting there... now the atrium was filled so tightly we were all pushing against one another. UT is a large campus, at the 55,000 students at the time and it was well past 9. In retrospect I imagine since that was one of the main buildings on campus there were a few thousand there watching now with me.

Than the other tower collapsed. So clearly...

My sister by 2001 had been living in Vegas for a while. It was like watching one of the implosions the old hotels there I had seen go down. So orderly and quickly...

I just got out of my chair and walked away. I went to the LDS Institute and wanted to use their phone (yes I was an uncool college kid who didn't get a cell phone for another year). I remember finally just feeling the need to talk to my mother. To know everyone was okay even though I knew we all were.

I got there and now I saw my friends. I don't remember who but I remember being glad some of my friends were there. They were all watching on the tiny tv's. I could hear the sound now and they started explaining the 4 airlines that were high-jacked. They announced the fate of United Flight 93 and that it had just crashed with no explanation in rural PN. (Only later did I learn their heroism). They kept showing hospitals waiting for victims to help, but there were not enough survivors to help... They kept replaying the buildings collapsing. That is when the secretary said, "all those people inside". I remember that moment I really just began to cry. I felt so bad... My heart was broken for those people and their families... I was scared and very confused...

Lessons learned...

After 9/11 I saw the hate that filled the hearts of many people I knew. It was the attitude of vengeance and prejudice. It made me want to analyze myself better. I wanted to understand and get to know new people. While before I had only certain friends I suddenly wanted to get to know everyone. Through my classes and my job I gained new friendships from all over the world, various races, and cultures. When I started my professional life in the Las Vegas resorts I continued doing so and it was part of my reason for wanting to do a mission later on. Now I am blessed to be surrounded by friends that I may never have had.

9/11 gave me a voice. Ever since I was a young child my mom considered me pretty deep. I did a lot of things with the local Holocaust Museum in El Paso; but I still had not learned to stand up when I thought something was wrong . I've always been known as the nice kid and I was scared to offend. Now when I hear something (or receive a bad email) I'm sharp with my words. Back in the day I protested the wars at the capitol in Austin along with a lot of other hot button issues. Now I'm not so vocal politically (more jaded) but I still try to speak up when I hear something that isn't right; and I make sure to vote.

"It is not merely enough to lead an exemplary life in a purely passive sense of doing no wrong. The power of good in a [person] makes him actively help those in need... "

In all honesty I know I don't do enough good. I've got a long way to go in learning, loving, and standing up for/helping those who need it.

Epilogue

When 9/11 happened I was very alone during that time in my life. The guy I had been dating for over a year was abroad. Things were tense back at home and I was 750 away from them anyhow. I had friends but it wasn't the same.

Now tonight I was just surrounded by my beautiful kids and my husband. We watched the special documentary on TV. Chris had never really seen much of this b/c he was abroad at the time in Mexico City. He knew it happened... it just didn't happen like it did for me. It made me think of what they will see. I hope they never go through the loss that so many endured that day. I hope I can teach them to love and to use their voice for good.

I'm glad those images were on the screen again. It is important to see them. It helped me remember the lessons I hope I never forget.

I must have made a Leprechaun angry :(

2011-09-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

Seriously! Since last Friday my luck has SUCKED. I told Miriam today during lunch I think I must have stepped on a leprechaun or something.

In one week the following has occurred:

Harmon might lose his pre-k services
I broke the $70 key to my Honda. It litterally fell about apart in the ignition when I was turning the car off. (It is a fairly new car too.)
I hit a sub-contractors car (very very minor and it didn't even damage my car but my 100% perfect driving record is officially gone).
A trip to Arizona flared up my RA so I'm walking like a defunct penguin
Oh and this was a weekend family reunion with Chris' family who I love but it is like having Wednesday Adams spend a whole weekend with the Waltons.
I'm behind on EVERYTHING!!!! I stayed up past 2 on Wednesday just trying to catch up.
Chris forgot Harmon at pre-k Thursday so I got yelled out while I was on the other side of town... lucky his teacher didn't sent me to the principal's office.
I forgot Harm's soccer game while my Mother-in-Law searched for over an hour for us
Callum is sick... Harmon has been sick... Now I'm getting their head cold!
Two small diamonds have fallen off my ring's micro-pave band...

I could go on but isn't this enough misery for one blog?

So Mr. Leprechaun let me buy you a drink and lets bury the hatchet!!!!! I can't take another week like this one :p

Fighting for your child...

2011-09-06T20:57:00.000-07:00

I think learning to be an advocate for my children has been one of the hardest parts of being a parent for me. I feel very overwhelmed trying to call on Rachel's orthotics, schedule her PT, OT, FT, and DS visits every week. I used to have to do this for Harmon also. Rachel had her diagnoses of Cerebral Palsy shortly after Harmon transitioned last year to the Public Schools DD-Pre Program which is designed for kids who need help with certain areas. That meant rather than coordinating several different services I just had to focus on getting him to school.

Harmon Last Year on his First Day

Before he started pre-school he was struggling. He has something known as Sensory Integration which makes organizing thoughts very difficult. Once he started school things just got better for him. He got the help he needed to start organizing his thoughts and learning to self-regulate. His speech started coming along and now he is just totally talking up a storm. So when school started this year I was so grateful. He had some serious struggles in his Summer program that didn't have the extra help. I knew that once he was back though he would get back on track. That is what happened. The school year started about 3 wks ago and it has been really great. Until Friday...

Harmon this year on his First Day

Friday is when I met to renew his annual IEP (Individual Education Plan). Basically it's the economy. The schools are cutting back on services for kids with special needs and so students who qualified once are not qualifying now. Harmon might be falling into that hole. The problem is that he has made so much progress (which is good) but not enough to just be main-streamed at this point. I think this is where you get the term "falling through the cracks," comes from. Suddenly I'm fighting for this spot that I know he needs (we live in a small town and so there are not private pre-schools that really focus on what he needs). I also am fighting for something that gives him such joy. He loves his teachers and his friends. If I just had to tell him, "sorry there is no school tomorrow" it would break it his heart.

I don't know how this story is going to end. We are looking into our rights and until things are resolved everyone has agreed to halt everything. I'm also coming up with a plan B, pre-school wise and private services. Whatever happens I will fight my hardest. I think it is affecting my choices about what to do with Rachel. I don't know if I have it in me to fight tooth and nail for 2 kids. I guess this is just life. Part of being a mom is fighting for your kids, b/c they don't have the voice in these sort of matters. I just think when I feel like I don't want to do this anymore I remember that we are very blessed to have good resources around us; and that the reward is worth it in the end if it mean our kids get what they need.

Realizing how blessed you are :)

2011-09-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

It was an interesting week. Last week was just really hard dealing with everything I needed to deal with. That whole time my little man Cally was just smiley there by my side. I had noticed earlier that he had some really dark odd smelling urine (almost sweet). I had assumed it was dehydration b/c we have triple digit heat here daily. It came and it went until I realized it couldn't be just needing fluids. That is when the quiet worry began.

So today we finally ruled everything out, including diabetes... WHAT A RELIEF! The doctor thinks it was a UTI that got caught late. We will be watchful but really, truly in my heart I think he will be fine. It gave me a sudden realization how blessed we were. Once again I felt my priorities always will be with these little guys.

Tonight we had a banquet and got home later than usual. Little man had been through so much that day so my little buddy just wanted to rest on my chest for 20 minutes (best 20 minutes of my week) and yet again I counted my blessings!

GOAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

Today was a big milestone for my little man! Harmon had his first real soccer game :) We are part of the Little Boulders Soccer Team which is a bunch of kids of all the construction guys. The team is awesome and everyone is so sweet.

It was a lot of lessons all at once. Poor Harmon just didn't understand why those older kids push him and steal the ball from him. He got frustrated at one point and just took the ball and sat on it so no one would take it from him.

At a couple points when he would get pushed down he would crumple in a ball and just cry. I wanted to get him and save him but his coach would intervene and get him back into the game.

Every time though he just dusted himself off and really got into it. His team is the youngest in the whole league and these kids were older (5 yo's) but Harmon never got discouraged or gave up... even when we were down 10-0... THAN IT HAPPENED!!!!!!!

GOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!! Harmon did it! He made our team's one and only goal of the game. We may not have won but I couldn't be prouder of him. He really proves what heart he has and I know he will do good in this and whatever he does if just keeps that same persistence.

That deserved a celebration dinner at his favorite restaurant: Le Golden Arches

Happy Birthday to my Sweet Cupcakes!

2011-08-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

Having twins is very surreal. When I had Harmon it was like: "look this is my cute little baby boy". We did pictures all the time, traveled, etc. He was very much the center of our universe. Than all of a sudden I brought two of them home and it wasn't just one cute little baby to focus on. Instead you see double!

Suddenly instead of one baby to feed, hug, change, etc. there were two. Sometimes I feel bad b/c they never get to be a singular unit hardly (we try to change that by doing one on one activities). They just go together like a great pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. As they age I realize they are starting to part ways and will grow into two wonderful individuals. They will have always have each other though and that is a gift. While they may have had to share the limelight, how many people are born with a built in best friend.

So now my baby cupcakes are growing into full sized pastries. That means as of today our household has no more babies (and it won't unless I die and Chris remarries b/c for me I'm beyond done). I should be sad (and I imagine I will get sad here and there) but in general I'm very excited for my babies and this new phase. Each is growing into such a cute little child. They are determined, sweet, and each is unique. It is like reading a book and being so excited for the next chapter to begin.

My Birthday Letters to my children....

Dear Ms Rachel,

You are my first born of the twins. By the time you are old enough to read this letter you will probably be helping me shop at Fashion Show Mall in Vegas making sure your mom stays in style. Afterwards we will be basking in our mani/pedis and while talking boys you like in a cafe overlooking the strip. I guess that is the future I picture for us. The dream I didn't know I wanted but now am so glad I have. Already you are my little BFF. You make me smile and laugh all day with your antics. I've never seen a girl want to wear 17 bows at one time and change clothing every hour on the hour.

You are so girly; but at the same time so strong and smart! That is what I love most about you! The day you were born you could have died but you fought your way through! You have a condition, cerebral palsy, but you never let it define you. You always break down the walls that keep you down and exceed all expectations. I love how you run the house and are so smart. You figure out what you want and go for it. With this attitude I know you will do in life anything you choose to do. No boundary or limit will stop you. All you will need to do is focus on what you want and the world will eat out of your hands.

I love you baby girl! Happy Second Birthday :)

~Love, Mom~

Dear Callum,

You are the baby of the family. People say the babies always get spoiled and perhaps that is true (although all the kids around here get spoiled). We call you Jolly ally Cally for a reason. You are a source of light in our home. While your siblings are high energy and very frenetic, you seem to be the calm one (which of course is what your name means). I love how you still want to be cuddled and always want to cheer up anyone who is down. Your brother Harmon calls you his favorite bestest friend in the world. You have a gift Callum and that is to draw everyone to you. Everyone falls in love with you when they meet you.

Today you were singing in the car. Yesterday I caught you dancing. It makes me wonder what you have in store for your future. You have been given gifts and talents that I've never seen in such a youngster. I know that one day in the future you will start experiencing disappointment and maybe rejection. Please don't let those things ever stop you! You were put on this earth to help others and share your gifts. You are a magnet for goodness. As the scripture says don't hide your candle under a bush but let your light so that it shines for all the world to see.

I love you little man! Happy Second Birthday :)

~Love your Mum~

My Secret's Finally Revealed!!!

2011-08-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

First off my niece might get released from the hospital soon!!!! Hopefully...

A few weeks ago I posted about all these changes I was making. At the time I wasn't going into into any detail over what I was doing (and I'm still not going to give every detail b/c poor Chris does worry about us maintaining some sort of privacy). Nonetheless, I really wanted this week to talk and it was sooo frustrating not being able to really do that all on the blog. This blog is where I just let everything go and being so secretive just isn't me.

So a few weeks ago I stepped away from a lot of things but it wasn't so simple. I was really looking forward to a new work opportunity but now isn't the time. So I'm staying put in that sense. (This is the part where I need to keep the privacy more).

So the real secret was that I was starting to take a few business classes to prepare for eventually getting an MBA when the kids were older. I just figure that is the next logical step... Anyhow so I enrolled in this accounting class and micro-economics class. I realized I HATE ACCOUNTING. If I hate accounting, I will probably hate statistics, etc. etc. That made me realize Wednesday night life is short, dang this if I'm going to take some classes to enrich my life and give me something personal... well than I'm going to go do classes I'm interested in! After all there was a reason I choose to study theatre for my undergrad ;) I know if I really wanted I could do it, I just realized I don't want it.

So I'm now taking a rhetoric because I always want to improve my written expression and I'm going to take a literature class so I can have an excuse to read some more books. I love books and I never read b/c I feel like I don't have time. So I get to write and read! For a dyslexic person I know, I have odd hobbies but it makes me happy even if I won't ever end up a Jane Austin or William F. Buckley. When in my life have I ever taken a logical step? I've always gone my own path and it has worked out really well for me so far... I don't know if these classes will lead to anything in the long run. It is merely my hope that I can take these classes and enjoy something that interests me. With all that I'm doing I don't need to be worrying about my next grand step.

Final Verdict: I'm still doing some stuff for me... I'm just not trying to reinvent my life all at once. One small step at a time rather than an Extreme Makeover like I attempted. I get very restless. This way I still won't miss out on moments with the little critters and I won't feel like I have my head in a blender. I just really appreciate all the support and encouragement my friends provided me while I was trying to figure this all out. Especially Miriam, she just was so optimistic but realistic and very patient with me trying to juggle everything at once. I'm really blessed to be surrounded by great people.

Detours and better directions!

2011-08-24T21:31:00.001-07:00

If our week wasn't already turning into a complete disaster, well it got MUCH worse! Honestly I might jump off a bridge but I'm grasping tightly to the one hope that at least I'm not sick or in that bad of pain. Nevertheless I got that kick in the pants that I just didn't need...

HARMON IS SICK!

It isn't like I didn't see this coming. After all his first day of pre-school was Thursday and so he has been exposed to school germs now for a few days. I saw the slight sniffling on Sunday and than it just got worse slightly, and than more intense, finally he was DEAD this morning: moaning, vomiting, and spewing all types of things. So of course that meant canceling everything, doctors, medicines, etc. Than just as suddenly as the hurricane hit by tonight he was smiling, happily playing with his new trains, etc. It was really really joyful to watch :) I hope tonight is a good night (we drugged him up silly) and maybe tomorrow he will be back to his Harmon self.

I think tonight though I finally got the guidance I needed on my long term plans. I was hoping I could do everything at once but I can't. Look at this week! I'm realizing that no matter what I try I will always be tied to the company and that is life. I guess I should feel glad I'm wanted. My niece's injury has refocused my mind on the importance of family. I had some very lofty goals to do all at once and I think they need a little editing but I'm still on that path of reaching my dreams. I just can't do everything ALL RIGHT NOW!

I promise one day I will share everything with everyone once I have all the kinks and details worked out and I'm on my way!!! The important thing is that I'm not giving up, I'm just adjusting :) It is kind of fun. I feel like I was 19 and I had endless possibilities. Everything is possible as long as I balance, keep the important things first, and not give up even though it is hard.

PS: For those following the latest, my niece is still in the hospital :(

Houston we have a problem!

2011-08-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

My new job means working late some evenings so that I can be home a little more during the day. That means Daddy is in charge. Today the kids ate dinner at 7:30... Houston we have a problem!!!

It isn't just Chris, it is me too. I can't seem to get laundry done or anything else for that matter. So Chris is taking on more of the household chores on Saturday morning while I'm working. To be honest we were never really good at getting things done around the house. Remember when he promised to do more of the meal making? Yeah that never took off and my check book balancing is still lacking. All the plants we bought this Summer are DEAD DEAD DEAD! Neither of us are domesticated :p

I think it is funny how I can make all these goals and still really only have time for the essentials (and even some of the essentials are falling by the wayside). So, back to the drawing board! Like our nanny said though, as long as we are making time for the kids and each other, everything else is secondary (Miriam is so wise).

PS: for those who have been sending well wishes and prayers for my niece, thank you. She is still in the hospital but we are hopeful she will be home soon.

I haz a sad!

2011-08-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I was whining about not going to a silly football game. Just after I pressed "publish" I received texts from my mom that my niece was hurt in just a random freak accident. The rest of my night was in panic mode waiting to hear what the doctors would say the prognosis would be...

Today everything was different. My little niece was in the hospital for at least another night. We think she will be fine! It got me in a funk. I couldn't help but think of my wonderful niece in the hospital and how her parent's heart was broken over everything. It reminded me what it was like when my children were in the hospital. It also just scared me a little. Accidents are so easy and can happen in an instant...

Now knowing the worse is over I think it made me realize to count our blessings. She will be okay. My kids are doing well, healthy and happy. I need to be grateful for all I've been given. As a family, we have had a lot of close calls and I think we must have a few angels watching over us.

A strange visitor in my bed!

2011-08-21T22:11:00.001-07:00

Callum refuses to sleep. Usually Chris and I say tough but tonight we couldn't!

So he laying next to us wide awake. We have a NO kids in bed policy but we just don't have the heart to put him back. He is just so sweet and innocent. My niece got hurt tonight seriously. It made me realize how precious our children are, makes me want to hold tight. As I keep saying these days are numbered! We have to treasure these times!

So a few more minutes before he goes back...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Gypsy Wanderlust, Football, and Reality :(

2011-08-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

For anyone who has followed this blog for a while you might have observed 2 things...

1) I'm in INSANE Longhorn fan. Yes I am one of those tacky people who spend ubber amounts of money to dress my family in matching garb. I play the fight songs for them and have chanted the chants for them. Granted when I was at UT I don't think I really appreciated being there. After I was done... well I changed. I suddenly loved my alma-mater!

2) I was probably an European Gypsy or Traveller in a past life. Not only did I once read fortunes for a living but I LOVE traveling. I almost dropped out of college and became a stewardess b/c I can't enough of it! That is why I loved Vegas. I was real close to San Diego, LA, Phoenix, San Francisco, etc. and would always go for quick weekend trips! Also I could always go to Venice (the Venetian), Paris (Paris Hotel), or hop over to Ancient Rome (Caesars Palace) any time I wanted.

One lesser known fact is that Chris is a BYU Grad. Thus this game on September 10th would have been so much fun for us!!!!!!! But alas it is totally irresponsible if we go. We didn't budget for it and it is going to cost a lot. I'm too busy with the new thing I'm doing and Chris is drowning in the midst of the company stuff. Furthermore last year's season for Texas was a total depressing bloodbath... do I really want to go to a game where Chris gloats all the way home? So yes there is no reason for us to go, BUT I REALLY WANT TOO! I'm anxious to scream curse words and do Longhorn chants. I want to travel again. I hate staying put. I want to take Chris to see all my old haunts: kayaking in Town Lake, the balcony at the student union (and maybe even kiss him), etc.

But no, that is irresponsible! As a practical working mom adult I understand it... but the crazy Longhorn gypsy in me says... DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! Probably a good thing we lost the credit card last week ;) Better not reorder it until Sept 12!

Edit: Chris read my blog early this morning and he surprised me with a night in the mountains for that weekend. It isn't anything like Austin but at least it will be nice to get away for the night, its affordable, and the kids get to come :)

Tales of Teeth Brushing...

2011-08-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

Today was quite a day and I'll share more of it tomorrow... tonight I'm too tired! Instead I wanted to share some great advice from a fellow Mommy Blogger.

All 3 of our kids have HUGE teeth (wonder where they got them from... poor Chris I tease has horse teeth). Brushing teeth in our home is quite a battle but we both know it is very important. Chris complains Miriam and I are not doing a good enough job. Of course when he brushes the kids teeth they scream louder than a person auditioning for a horror film. They hate it! They run away from him. This is why I wanted to share the following advice.

Melissa is a dentist and more importantly she is a mommy. She helped me a few months ago about the pacifier addiction Rachel had and put my mind at ease. Anyhow she did this guest blog on another friend's blog (link) and I asked her if I could repost it. The advice is just great!

Some tips to help with brushing:

Brushing kids’ teeth can be extremely challenging. One of the most important things you can do is establish a routine with brushing your kids’ teeth. When most patients’ moms ask me how this can be done with a wiggly kid, I usually suggest brushing their teeth in the bath. Sounds funny, right. I can tell you it does work in a lot of cases! Most kids love to bathe and are surrounded by toys. While they are playing with their toys, use this as a distraction and whip out the toothbrush. Most of the times they are having so much fun, they will be happy to oblige.

Go to the store with your kids and have them pick out their own toothpaste flavor ( refer to the no section below for options). Give them a few choices and have them pick out their favorite toothpaste. Believe me it works. With my own daughter, we had so much trouble with the toothpaste. When she was a year and a half, we went to the store and I gave her 3 toothpaste packages and told her to pick out the one she wants. When we went home and it was my time to brush her teeth, I whipped out HER toothpaste and explained to her that we are going to use what she picked. It worked!

If using a manual toothbrush doesn’t work, let them pick out an electrical toothbrush that sings to them. They have virtually every type imaginable in a local CVS or Walmart. The kids will be too distracted by the toothbrush “singing” they will forget that you are brushing their teeth.

Make sure you give them some time to “brush” their own teeth and then once done explain to them that mommy/daddy are now going to brush their teeth.

Have them brush your teeth with your toothbrush. Show how happy you are to get your teeth brushed by them. Then tell them it is time for you to brush their teeth. Role play- it works!

At the infant stage, take a little washcloth, wet it, and take them to the mirror. Only water at this point though! Have them watch you cleaning their gums. Babies like their reflection and will learn that having something such as a washcloth/toothbrush in their mouth, is normal. When an infant gets used to having someone in their mouth, it will also make the first dental visit less traumatic when they are a toddler. As they get older, keep this tradition and show them brushing by doing it in the mirror.

As they get older, set up a timer for 2 minutes and tell them till the beeper goes off, they mush brush. (see #5 below)

Positive reinforcement always works well. Try with just praise by way of hugs or words. If they are still refusing to have you brush their teeth, try sticker or little prize reinforcement. Absolutely no candy reinforcement for brushing though.

THE NO’S:

NEVER NEVER NEVER put your kid to bed with a sippy cup/bottle with milk or juice in it. You can email me and I can tell you some horror stories of kids’ teeth that had to be extracted at a young age because of this!

After brushing, no snacks or food should be given. When an adult brushes, that signals the end of the day and we are done eating. Don’t give into kids. Once they are brushed, they are done eating/drinking as well.

NO FLOURIDE toothpaste should be given till they can learn to spit. Swallowing fluoride toothpaste can be damaging so it is best to avoid it till they master spitting. Most kids are able to spit between 2-3 years old. If you want any suggestions for natural toothpastes that I recommend, please feel free to email me.

Only use a pea size amount of toothpaste. You do not want a ribbon of toothpaste. The kid will end up gagging if this is done.

And I will end with this. Once kids reach the school age and are dressing themselves, DO NOT let them brush their teeth by themselves. They might say they are going upstairs to brush after you put on the timer. They will then proceed to tell you they are all done. Don’t take their word! Chances are they didn’t really do a good job brushing or perhaps didn’t even brush at all. Make sure you are there when they are brushing. That is the only way you will know it was done proficiently.

Melissa has a great blog: The Mommyhood Chronicles! Check it out if you have the time :)